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OPINION

Pge 4 Wednesday, November 17, 1982 The Michigan Dail

-Tonight:

The

fight comes to Cr

B Dave Paton
By now, much of the University
community must know that, star-
ting tonight, professional boxing
matches will be held at Crisler
Arena.
Officials at the Athletic Depar-
tment claim-with some plausibi-
lity-that boxing can do just as
much to advance the ideal of veritas,
in Ann Arbor as the rock concerts
periodically offered at Crisler.
Many of the heavyweights of the
academic community, however,
have vented howls of protest at this
further diversification of the empire.
at the corner of State and Hoover.
A any rate, a card of fights is
scheduled for tonight. But who will
slug out the real clash? This
evening's most important battle will
be between the all-powerful profit
notive and the somewhat unreal
and cerebral world lived in and
created by serious academics.
A. fight between a high-ranking
Athletic Department official and an
English professor who doubles as a
vehement critic of the aloof, well-
heeled Athletic Department-now
that would be the fight of the cen-
tury:
;The time is past midnight at Crisler
Arena. An unpleasant pall of human

sweat and cigar smoke hangs lie a
storm cloud over the boxing ring on the
center of the floor.
All of the fights on the card have con-
cluded. It was a good night-there were
four knockouts; the fighters were really
hurting each other. A man at ringside is
proudly displaying a random spatter of
blood like a red badge of courage. As
the crowd grunts and stretches prior to
leaving the arena, the ring announcer
strides to the center of the ring and
grabs the boom microphone.
"LA-DEES and GENN-TULL-MEN!
The Crisler Arena Boxing Authority is
PROUD to present an UN-
SCHEDULED extra attraction! A
special bout pitting athletic might
against academic brainpower and
humanism!
"IN THE SOUTHEAST corner,
wearing the maize and blue, a man who
has been labelled the most successful
and innovative promoter of college
athletics in human history. MISTER
DON CANHAM!! (Cheers, catcalls,
and cries of "refund !" fill the air.)
"And in the northwest corner,
wearing the tweed jacket and mortar-
board, a man who stands for everything
positive and whimsical in the human
spirit, a hardworking and enthusiastic
member of the English faculty, and
Mister Canham's leading critic at the
University, PROFESSOR BERT
HORNBACK! !" (Cheers, catcalls, and
cries of "who?").
The crowd sits down again, surprised
and pleased by this bonanza. Cigars are
relit, betting is recommenced, and the
combatants are called out to the center

-
of the ring by the veteran referee Billy aot$0mlinI'lakyuth
Frye. abut$mat i w i n I'lby akoc ou t heo
"OKAY, GUYS, some special rules. auOatenneybyl akenec othNe?
Bare knuckle fighting, no time limit. bleka hn, soyeou figkhting." her
Any money dropped in-the ring goes to
the University's general fund. We can- The bell clangs and the two men
not allot any money to defray any charge from their corners, circling
funeral expenses. Don't both of you ea ch other warily. "H IT ! K IL L !
guys like the way money looks? Isn't it ARGGH ! UGH !" the crowd shouts.
just so . .. green? If either of you guys Canham reaches into his jogging shorts
knows where I can lay my hands on (yellow and blue; available at the "M-

Go Blue" shop). He withdraws a large'
wallet, with a lock and chain, and bran-
dishes it. The crowd gasps in terror.
Hornback's eyes widen, but he stands
fast. He brings out his college diploma
and holds it in front of him with both
hands, like Luke Skywalker wielding
his light saber. Combat is joined: the
pugilists spring for each other, pun-
ching, jabbing, clubbing, locked in a mor-
tal duel.
FRYE LEAPS between the pair.
"Hey, this is a bare knuckle fight. Put
those things away. Say, do either of you
guys know where I can get my hands on
about $20 million?"
Canham and Hornback are at 'each.
other, their defenses down, both men
willing to take a punch in order to give
one. "Why don't you give the University
something.. . UNGH! out of that fat
wallet of yours, Don? They could use it
a lot more than you!" Hornback gasps
and pants between punches.
"Because... ARGHH ! . . . because I
don't have to!" declares Canham as he
slams a meaty fist into the professor's
face, staggering him. "I provide the
University with good entertain-
ment . .. I charge a fair price.. . why
don't I deserve to be fiscally.
autonomous? Why should I share
someone else's hard times if I 'don't
have to?"
"UNNNH ... Why? What do you
mean, why?" shouts Hornback,
ducking a punch. "Because you ought
to be part ... OOF.. . of them! Your
teams wear "M" all over their jerseys
and . . . guess what, Don? Theye ren
go to school here ! You have no right to
come in here with your professional
college athletics and not help out this

isler
dying, money-crazed, smaller but bit-
ter campus! You've got plenty of
money for new buildings or expensive
renovations on your,... OUCH ... on
your precious athletic campus. Why not
elp keep the art school alive, or,
education or natural resources? Why4
fatten yourself while others starve?"
and Hornback's fist in Canham's
stomach drives home the point more ef-
fectively than any of his rhetoric has.
"Because ... I don't have to care!'
exults Canham as he hammers Hor-,
nback's ribcage. "I sympathize, but'
HA ! HA! it doesn't have to change my.
policies!" And with that, both men,
charged with blind fury, drop the con-
versation and leap into the melee with
redoubled energy ...
It is 129 rounds later, about 7 a.m...
and Canham and Hornback are still at
it, exhausted, swinging their arms-
wildly without aiming. That can be the
best fun of boxing-when they start
doing that. The students who were here
are gone; they undoubtedly have things
to do that day. The cigar-smoking.
Detroiters are gone too; they have to be
back when the banks open, to float
loans to cover up the unpaid ones. And
so we leave Messrs. Canham and Hor-
nback as the first light of day strikes
the dome of Crisler Arena. The
irresistable force of the Athletic Depar-
tment meets the immovable object
known as the academic University, and
an irritating, perpetual stalemate
results.

Paton is an LSA senior;
in English and history.

majoring

Edited and managed by students at The University of Michigan

Wasserman

WREwN yoBISOPCAST DOUBT' ON THE
t\O9%ALU~y OF OUR NQUdLAR ' AT ~ .

AND ENCOURAGE gouDtAR$To QUESTION1
TMIR ODER- THPT COMES PETP

:.)

Vol. XCIII, No. 60

420 Maynard St.
Ann Arbor, M1 48109


Editorials represent a majority opinion of the Daily's Editorial Board

Progress on registration

l

,o.,
l r
C a
......
.

O PPONENTS of draft registration
were celebrating yesterday after
news that a judge in California had
dismissed charges against David
Wayte. They hailed the decision as a
monumental victory in the struggle
against registration; some even said
the decision would force the gover-
iiment to scrap the entire registration
system.
-On the first point they are right; on
the other, they are-at
best--premature.
Judge Terry Hatter's decision cer-
tainly was a significant step in the fight
against registration. The decision
finally gave recognition to argument
that opponents of registration had been
bfinging up for months. At long last a
judge has agreed that the gover-
nment's tactic of prosecuting only
those who speak out against the
registration order is a blatant violation
of constitutional guarantees of free
speech.
Yet the success on Monday does not
necessarily mean that the Selective
Service is about to be dismantled.
The government has promosed to
appeal Monday's ruling (although they
hadn't by late yesterday), and gover-
nment appeals of draft resistance
cases have proven especially deadly.
There's a reason for that, of course.
What is "just" and what is "legal" have
precious little to do with what the
government can do under the guise of
"national defense"-as has been
shown throughout the draft
registration cases.
Sure, said the courts, the
registration order may be a violation
of laws forbidding discrimination-but
this is "national defense," so it doesn't
count. Sure, said the courts, the
registration order may illegally
require individuals to divulge their
Soeial Security numbers (by law, "not
to be used for identification"), but this
is "national defense," and the gover-
nment needs the convenience of using

"illegal" means of identifying poten-
tial conscripts.
Similarly, the appellate courts could
rule that it doesn't matter that the
government violated the Constitution
in prosecuting only the most vocal op-
ponents of the registration order. The
courts could rule that it's just fine for
the government to have broken the law
by starting registration nine days
before it was supposed to. After all,
showing the Soviets that we meant
business over the Afghanistan invasion
is a grave matter of "national defen-
se."
But even if the ruling doesn't
necessarily mean an end to
registration it is nonetheless a con-
siderale success - no matter how the
appeals turn out.
If the ruling survives appeal, of
course, selective service registration
is in deep trouble. If it really wants to
have a draft registration, the gover-
nment might have to start all over
again - appropriations and all. That
means what is sure to be a bloody fight
for the necessary money in Congress
and, should the idea get past that, a
whole new round of lawsuits
questioningrevery detail of the
registration process.
If, on the other hand, the ruling is
overturned, the opponents of
registration may still realize con-
siderable gains. A reversal of Hatter's
decision would mean, in effect, that
free speech in peacetime -is to be
subordinated to the government's
military ambitions. That would
greatly increase the pwoer of the
military in our society, giving it power
over some of Americans' most basic
freedoms. Such a decision, although a
considerable defeat for American
liberties, would give great support to
the contention that the military needs
to be controlled. It would be yet
another powerful argument for basic,
and desperately needed, reform.

CLOSE To
LET's NOT sPuT HIRS


N

QuR IENTION ( TO PROMOTE
TNINKIN@ NOT TREAS&ON


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1N


NEW YORK-Ellen Mayers,
34, lives in New York City, the
communications capital of the
world. But it doesn't do her much
good. She can't even afford a
communications device taken for
granted by most Americans-a
home telephone.
Elizabeth Rodrigues, 23, came
from. Puerto Rico four years ago
to find a better life here. She still
doesn't have a phone, either.
THE PROBLEM for both of
them is simple: money. For
Mayers and Rodrigues, as for in-
creasing numbers of poor
Americans, a home phone is now
a luxury.
Mayers, who lives in the Flat-
bush section of Brooklyn, has
been a single parent for many
years. Her 11-year-old son is
disabled. She uses her sister's
phone when possible, but her
sister isn't always home. Mayers
is on welfare and isn't looking for
a job.
Rodrigues lives in William-
sburg, also in Brooklyn, and one
of the poorest districts of this
city. Her husband has been
unemployed "for some time,"
she said. They have a two-month-
old daughter.

Ma Bell:
Hanging up
on the poor
By Barbara Miner

Telegraph Company (AT&T) it-
self estimates that under such
conditions approximately 35 per-
cent of the very poor, as defined
by the U.S. Commerce Depar-
tment, would be priced out of a
home phone.
"When you don't have a
phone," Ellen Mayers said,
"that's when you realize how im-
portant it is."
SHE LOST her phone service
recently when her welfare check
was late and she fell behind on
her bill. "They cut it right off,"
she said. Now a $175 deposit is
required to have the service
restored.
Mavers is narticularl wnrried

welfare recipients lacked
telephone service.
ABRAMS IS concerned that
proposed rate increases will turn
the telephone into a "plaything of
the rich." It currently costs
$174.54 for a phone to be installed
in New York City, $100 of that as a
deposit payable immediately.
The proposed increases- would
raise installation charges 25 per-
cent, and pay phone calls from 10
cents to a quarter.
At the same time, optional ser-
vice charges, of most use to the
affluent, would remain where
they are or drop. For instance,
charges for "call waiting"-a
service to let one know when a

lobbying organization, fears that
proposals before the FCC could
double the $5.61 rate.
SIMONS reports that the FCC
is in the final stages of public
comment on three proposals to
separate long distance equip-
ment and service charges from
fees for local service. All three, in
effect, would add a surcharge to0
every bill of from $2 to $7 per
month-depending on the
proposal-for the right to long
distance access. A fourth option,
opposing any surcharge, has lit-
tle chance of approval, according
to Simons. The FCC's final
decision could be issued within 60
days and go into effect one year
later.
"It's an outrage," says Simons.
"The poor residents will sub -
sidize the rich users who use long
distance."
FOR THOSE in search of work,
lack of a phone significantly
compounds the difficulties. Not
only is it harder to reach prospec-
tive employers, but there is no
answer to give in response to the;
familiar "Don't call us, we'll call
you."_

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