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Page 18-Saturday, September 11, 1982-The Michigan Daily
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L--------------- ------- ------m--nm--.-.w- minuJ

The Michigan Daily-Saturday, Septer

Straight from the
source's mouth

By RON POLLACK


TEAMS

Sept. 11

Sept. 18

Sept. 25

Oct. 2

Oct. 9

Oct. 16

Oct. 23

Oct. 30

Nov. 6

N

Smith gets revenge...
... Haji-Sheikh a hero
THE 1982 EDITION of Michigan football begins play this weekend
against Wisconsin, but for those who just can't wait to see what will
happen this year to the Wolverines, here is a crystal ball look at the season
ahead.
September .11
Michigan opens the year against Wisconsin and Steve Smith connects with
Anthony Carter for three touchdowns in the Wolverine win. All three touch-
downs come when Badger defensive back Matt Vanden Boom is defending
Carter. After the game, Smith says, "Last year he intercepted three of my
passes and this year I threw three touchdown passes against him. Now we're
even. I hope this will make everyone stop telling those stupid jokes. about
him being my leading receiver in last year's game."
September 18
Michigan travels to South Bend for a night game against Notre Dame.
With 40 seconds to go in the game, Notre Dame scores a touchdown and kicks
the extra point to go up, 27-26. The ensuing kickoff is boomed out of the en-
dzone and the Wolverines start at their own 20. With only seconds remaining
in the game, Michigan's Ali Haiji-Sheikh comes onto the field to try a
seemingly impossible 51-yard field goal. The Wolverine kicker boots the ball
and jumps exuberantly into the air when it barely makes it over the
crossbar. After the game, Michigan head coach Bo Schembechler searches
his memory in an attempt to recall if he's ever seen a game quite like this.
September 25
Despite the fact that anyone associated with the new United States Foot-
ball League has been banned from Wolverine practices, a USFL scout is
caught trying to sneak into a Michigan practice earlier in the week. Schem-
bechler has his team use the scout as a tackling dummy. The following day,
the USFL passes a unanimous resolution to "never allow Schembechler to
coach in the USFL, view their practices, study their films or talk to their
coaches."
Upon hearing of this resolution, Schembechler laughs so hard that he falls
down a flight of stairs and suffers a concussion. As a result, he is not on the
sidelines for the UCLA game.
October 2
Schembechler is still missing from the Michigan sideline for the Indiana
game due to the blow he suffered to his head last week. Earlier in the week a
doctor asks him if he knows his name. Schembechler answers "Woody
Hayes" and then proceeds to punch the doctor and break a bedpan in half.
October 9
Schembechler finally figures out who he is, and is allowed back on the
sidelines for the Michigan State contest. The Wolverines put the ball up in
the air 40 times, causing speculatiofi that Bo is still not well.
October 16
Schembechler's recovery is complete. The Wolverines avenge last year's
9-7 loss to Iowa with a relentless ball control attack that stays mostly on the
ground. October 23
Northwestern gives Michigan all it can handle. An 80-yard touchdown
drive in the waning minutes allows the Wolverines to eke out the win. After
the game, the Big Ten orders urine tests conducted on the surprisingly tough
Wildcats to determine the cause of their unusually high level of play.
October 30
Michigan kicker Don Bracken puts on a kicking clinic during the
Wolverines' home game against Minnesota. After the game, Gopher officials
make plans to raise the.roof of the new Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome in
anticipation of Bracken's arrival next season when Michigan travels to Min-
neapolis.
November 6
Recalling the acclaim that former Michigan defensive coordinator Bill
McCartney received for his installment of a six-man secondary which shut
down a potent Purdue passing attack in 1980, new Michigan defensive coor-
dinator Gary Moeller installs an eight-man secondary in an attempt to
ground pass-happy Illinois.
Noting that Michigan is only lining up three defensive linemen and no
linebackers, Illinois head coach Mike White orders his team to take to the
ground. The result is the Illini's best rushing output of the season-70 yards.
The Wolverines just love that number when they play Illinois.
November 13

at at at at
MICHIGAN Wisconsin Notre Dame UCLA Indiana Mich. State Iowa N'western Minnesota Illinois P
at at at
WISCONSIN Michigan UCLA Toledo Purdue Ohio State Mich. State Illinois N'western Indiana t
NOTRE at at at at
DAME Michigan Purdue Mich. State Miami (Fla.) Arizona Oregon Navy** Pitt Per
Long at at at Washington at at.
UCLA Beach St. Wisconsin Michigan Colorado Arizona State California Oregon Washington St
at at at at
INDIANA N'western USC Syracuse Michigan Iowa Minnesota Ohio State Mich. State Wisconsin III
at at at at at
MICH. STATE Illinois , Ohio State Miami (Fla.) Notre Dame Michigan Wisconsin Purdue Indiana N'western Mir
at at at at at
IOWA Nebraska Iowa State Arizona N'western Indiana Michigan Minnesota Illinois Purdue Wis
NORTH- at Northern at at at at
WESTERN' Indiana Miami (Ohio) Illinois Iowa Minnesota Purdue Michigan Wisconsin Mich. State Ohi
at Washington at at at
MINNESOTA Ohio Univ. Purdue State Illinois N'western Indiana Iowa Michigan Ohio State Mic
at at at at
ILLINOIS' Mich. State Syracuse Pitt Minnesota Purdue Ohio State Wisconsin Iowa Michigan In
at at at at
PURDUE Stanford Minnesota Notre Dame Wisconsin Illinois N'western Mich. State Ohio State Iowa Mi
at at at
OHIO STATE Baylor Mich. State Stanford Florida St. Wisconsin Illinois Indiana Purdue Minnesota N'w

Sept. 4- Northwestern at Illinois;

"Notre Dame at Navy (Giants Stadium, E. Rutherford, N.J.);

Nov. 28-Notre Dame at USC

Michigan plays Ohio State next weekend.

I

January I1
The Michigan-Ohio State winner (you don't think I'd be so cruel as to ruin
the suspense of this donnybrook for all those who will attend it or watch it on
TV) is declared the winner of the Rose Bowl without ever running off a play.
The reason; the entire Pac 10 has been placed on probation for various
violations of rules regarding drugs, recruiting and transcripts.


Or, redysurpise tke folks,. and send *hm s subs4en puyursefI

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