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September 27, 1980 - Image 4

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The Michigan Daily, 1980-09-27

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OPINION

Page 4

Saturday, September 27, 1980

The Michigan Daily

"

Edited and managed by students at The University of Michigan

The truth about fraternities:
Brotherhood and lots of fun

Vol. XCI, No. 21

420 Maynard St.
Ann Arbor, MI 48109

Editorials represent a majority opinion of The Daily's Editorial Board

MSA secure in success

T HE FIRST steps toward a safer
campus have been made, thanks
to the new and improved Michigan
Student Assembly. In a meeting Thur-
sday night organized by the recently-
formed MSA Security Task Force,
concerned students working with MSA
members made significant progress in
an effort to dramatically improve
campus security.
If MSA succeeds in persuading the
University to follow up on the task for-
ce proposals, it would mean yet
another feather in MSA's cap. Already
this month, the new MSA has helped to
pressure the University into restoring
the formerly-reduced operating hours
of both the UGLI and the North Cam-
pus bus service..
These laudable achievements of the
new MSA are in clear contrast with
empty rhetoric and lip-service
resolutions of past MSA ad-
ministrations. Responsible efforts to
improve campus security this year
have replaced last year's floundering
proposals for extravagant renovation
of the Fishbowl. The successful exer-
tion of pressure to restore student ser-
vices this' year has replaced the
lengthy debates over the propriety of
co-sponsoring last year's
Homecoming.
It seems that most MSA members no
longer think of the MSA chambers as
Capitol Hill and are, finally noticing
and taking action on serious campus
problems.
XMSA member Bruce Brumberg, who
coordinated the Security Task Force,
and President Marc Breakstone seem
to personify this new sense of respon-
sibility and action in the Assembly. We
hope MSA will remain consistent with
its new activist4mage and continue to
seriously address campus problems as.

it has done so far this semester.
Further programs that were ten-
tatively drafted by MSA and the studen-
ts this week to combat campus crime
seem to be both effective and practial.
Particularly feasible is the idea of
creating a new, more effective Univer-
sity escort service. This University-
operated service would provide escorts
to accompany women to their on-
campus.housing after dark. No longer
would women have to walk home along
through the dark campus after
studying late at the library on the
computing center. And this is only one
of five proposals being examined by
the M$A Task Force and the students.
Another valuable result of Thur-
sday's meeting was the productive ex-
change that occurred between the
students-many of them frightened
and all of them concerned about the
inadequacies of current security
measures-and visiting represen-
tatives of the Ann Arbor Police and the
University's campus security office.
The officers, while explaining the
financial and practical constraints on
campus crime deterrence, offered
some wise and valuable advice for
women. The officers strongly
discouraged women from carrying
weapons that could potentially be tur-
ned against them by an assailant.
Women were also urged not to
become complacent once the recent
city murders begin to fade from the.
headlines. Students need not aid a
potential attacker by being lulled into a
sense of false security because of an
absence of publicized crime.
But the bulk of the responsibility for
campus safety lies with the University.
The administration should respond
quickly and cooperatively to the MSA
proposals.

The Greeks don't get a fair
shake on this campus, and I'm
getting a little upset about it.
As a three-year member of an
established fraternity, it dismays
me to see my brothers, and
sorority sisters, regarded as
lizards at this University. Hell,
when my uncle was an Alpha Delt
here in the 1930s, the Greeks got
the respect they deserved. And
today across the state-at Albion
and Western Michigan and
State-we are treated properly
by our independent peers.
BUT NOT IN Ann Arbor, boy,
not here. It's bad enough being
afraid to wear my
Whatawaytoplay t-shirt, but to
find myself telling prospective
girlfriends and drinking buddies
that I'm just a boarder here" is
a step too far.
People have the wrong idea
about Greeks on this campus, and
I intend to straighten that out.
What follows is a short depiction
of a typical night my brothers
and I enjoyed together. Sharing
brotherhood, laughs, cold
beers-innocent and harmless
fun, lifetime memories. I write
this essay in the hope that the
twisted stereotypes and
erroneous images of the Greek
system may be shattered once
and for all.
OUR MOST recent pledge, an
overweight engineer named
Alan, wasthrowingup in the back
seat of my car as we pulled into
-Delta Gamma's driveway. Our
house treasurer had just pinned a
DG sister, so we had to hold the
obligatory serenade to com-
memorate the event. I tossed
Alan a Handi-Wipe and we
walked up to the door. A few
brothers stopped to urinate in
their bushes, so we waited a
couple of minutes before
knocking.
We were greeted by Delta
Gamma's housemother, an old
black woman wearing a faded
maid's uniform and a full-length
apron. She was real happy to see
us standing there on the porch
with our songbooks, and called
the sisters from the bedrooms
and study lounges. Soon, they
were all sitting on the stairway,
looking really cute in their
monogrammed sweaters and
plaid skirts. One girl was wearing
a terry cloth bathrobe, and her
hair was in curlers. She acted

By Steve Hook

kind of embarrassed.
After we cleared our throats
and Ollie, our pledge trainer, zip-
ped up his zipper, we burst into a
round of "The Friar's Song," and
then "There Ain't Nothin' Like a
Dame." We really impressed the
girls, I think, even though we
messed up both songs pretty bad.
They sang "The Yellow and
Blue" for us in four-part har-

some Sigma Chi and Beta
brothers. We joined up with the
Betas, because they were our
partners in the Greek Olympics
last spring. We had the Sigma
Chis backed into the corner when
one of them knocked over a foos-
ball table and we all had to leave.
My roommate knocked over a
six-foot Saguro house plant on the
way out.

than an hour. He then excused
himself, saying he had to "go
make a phone call." We knew bet-
ter.
After making several obscene
phone calls to West Quad, we
jumped into my car for another
road trip. I mentioned that we,
had a few gallons of paint in my.5
trunl left over from work
session, and it was unanimously
decided that we paint The Rock.
Unfortunately, a couple a Fiji3
were busy painting their crest on
The Rock when we arrived, so
our "minutemen" openedsfire on
them with BB guns and,-
slingshots. Dildo, our sergeant- -
at-arms, was shouting "Fire at
will!" from the top of my car, and
the Fijis had soon disappeared. ,-
ALAN, NOW fully recovered,
jumped on top of the rock and
caught one of the gallons of paint.,
He opened the lid with his
jackknife and poured the whole
gallon over the Fiji crest in,,.a,.,
thick white coat. We all cheered,,
and someone tossed Alan a can of,
Stroh's. Trying to catch it, he lost
his balance and fell down, coating
himself with white paint and,
spilled beer. For five minutes, we.>
were on the ground laughing, and
then we made Alan do a penalty
chug as his ignorance fee.
We decided to forget about,
painting anything on the rock, so~
a bunch of us just painted ogr
names, girlfriend's names, and,,
our house letters on Hill Street
with rollers. The rest of the gy -
sat on my car finishing off the=t
last case.
Some of us were starting to get
tired; it was approaching 4 a.m.,
so we agreed to begin thinking
about calling it a night. Befqrrq
heading home, though, we sUc-,
cessfully shut off the water sups-,
ply at the Chi Omega housei;
poured some Drano in President.o
Shapiroegas tank, and set fireo-
the awning in ,front of Flipper
McGee'~ -
We then headed home, huM-
ming "The Victors" and laughing
about what a fun night of
brotherhood we had all enjoyed,
together. I parked my car, threw
up in the driveway, and headed&.
up the fire escape to my
bedroom.
Steve Hook is The Daily's
token fraternity member.

TWO SORORITY SISTERS enjoy a Greek ritual: The toga party.

mony. While they were singing,
Alan came in, but had to leave
to throw up again.
WE FINISHED the last refrain
from our house song and bid the
girls farewell. They thanked us
for the serenade, and offered to
do our laundry or sew our torn
clothes whenever we needed. As
everyone was saying goodbye,
me and a couple of brothers stole
their composite photographs and
escaped out" a side door. Our
pledges were dismantling their
lawn furniture as we piled into
my car.
"Moooore BEER! Moooore
BEER!' Moooore BEER!" We
chanted louder as I drove across
the DG lawn and down a neigh.-
bor's driveway. We went to Good
Time Charley's, hoping to pick up
some Pi Phis, but all we could
find was a table of AGDs who
seemed to be having their
periods. There was a good
ashtray war going on between

We returned to the chapter
house for our favorite drinking
game, Bizz Buzz. Mitch, our
house president, was hanging the
DG composites ajl around the
drinking room, and was doing a
fine job, considering he has just
chugged a pint of Wild Turkey.
All of a sudden, he slipped and
dropped one of the photographs to
the ground with a loud shattering
of glass. We all laughed; Mitch
tossed the composite behind;the-
bar, and we continued the game.
OUR APPROPRIATIOGNa.
chairman, Harvey, showed up
with three cases of Stroh's and
joined the game. A visiting alum-
nus, whose name I could never
quite remember, shoved our
house dog, Bo, into the
refrigerator as a joke, but our bar
chairman let him out because he
would contaminate the lemons.
My roommate Eli lost big in the
Bizz Buzz game, and had to drink
thirty-one cups of beer in less

King James makes a deal

H, THE JOYS of incumbency! No
Aneed for empty promises, tours
through ethnic neighborhoods, or
baby-kissing. Far more effective tools
than that are at a sitting president's
disposal.
In 1972, it was old King Richard's
renowned court jester Henry who did
the dirty work, declaring (falsely) that
"Peace is at hand," and thus helping
to secure his sovereign's continued
presence on the throne.
This election year, King James has
opted for a subtler route. His court
(read Department of Justice) has
struck a deal with the duchy of Chicago
to postpone government demands that

the city thoroughly integrate its
schools.
Duchess Jane Byrne was only too
glad to have the justice department off
her back-for the time being, at
least-and she will probably be
delighted to throw herself eagerly into
James' re-election efforts. She will just
have to put her days of support for
Prince Teddy behind her.
Meanwhile, the duchy's minorities,
who have been repeatedly snubbed by
the ruling classes, will have to sit and
wait for a monarch whose vision ex-
tends beyond the tip of his own regal
nose. Unfortunately, none of the
current heirs apparent are likely to
meet that criterion.

GEO planning tuition strike
in fightfor 'U' recognition

9

i

The Graduate Employees Organization, on
behalf of all Graduate Student Assistants
(GSAs), is asking its supporters to gather at
noon October 1 on the State Street steps of the
LSA building to protest the fact that graduate
student teaching, research, and staff
assistants have to pay tuition. GEO is asking
GSAs to refrain from paying the September
tuition bill, and instead, to come to the rally
and participate in the destruction of an over-
sized mock tuition bill, which will be stuffed
with real tuition bills.
The reason for the October 1 demonstration
is to draw attention to the fact that GSAs at
this University pay tuition out of their
salaries, in contrast to other schools where
tuition for GSAs is waived. The University has
the funds to pay graduate assistants without
requiring part of the money back in tuition,
and GEO believes the administration should
therefore change its GSA tuition policy.
AS IT NOW stands, GSAs often pay taxes on
the money they pay back to the Univesity, and
this year tuition is a larger percentage of GSA
salary than ever before. A 13 percent increase
in the tuition grant with a 13 percent increase
in tuition leaves a 13 percent increase in what
GSAs have to pay, so GSAs did not in fact receive
the 9 percent salary increase the University
claims to have given. This is just part of what
the University's refusal to bargain with GEO
is costing GSAs.
Because of the potential cost to the Univer-
sity's power and, to a lesser extent, its
budget, the administration has never wanted
to bargain collectively with GSAs. In 1974.

By Dave Kadlecek
sity of Michigah had agreed upon a new con-
tract to succeed the first one. But before they
would sign this contract, University
management demanded that two outstanding
grievances filed by union members against
the University be dropped.
GEO refused to bargain away its members'
right to due process, and instead it filed an
Unfair Labor Practice Complaint with the
Michigan Employment Relations Com-
mission (MERC). The case was heard by
Administrative Law Judge Shlomo Sperka,
and in the summer of 1977 he ruled that the
University had indeed committed an unfair
labor practice, and ordered management to
sign the contract agreed to in November 1976.
Rather than accept this decision, the Univer-
sity appealed the ruling to the MERC board,
arguing that GSAs were not really employees,
and, therefore, that the University had no
legal obligation to respect GSAs' rights.
MERC ordered a full "finding of facts" on
this argument; hearings followed during
which both sides presented evidence on the
question of whether or not GSAs are Univer-
sity employees. In July 1980, Judge Sperka
ruled that teaching and staff assistants, who
make up 80 per cent of the previous GSA
bargaining unit, are employees under
Michigan law, while research assistants are
not. The judge ordered implementation of the
unsigned contract of 1976, and that bargaining
for a new contract begin on GEO's request.
GEO WAS WILLING to accept the July

protection of a contract for GSAs, and a day
without the improvements in wages and"
working conditions that could be part of a nae*
contract. Therefore, GEO will not wait for theO
courts to enforce GSAs' rights, but will take
action to win them now, starting with the
refusal to pay September tuition bills.
Non-payment of tuition in September could'
lead to a "tuition strike" if the University
administration persists in refusing to
negotiate with GEO, and if the majorityof-
GSAs felt such an act would be to their advan
tage. Following the procedures .of a rent
strike, tuition fees would be placed in arc
escrow account, with the idea that the
University would have to agree to bargain
with GEO to get access to those funds.
ANOTHER POSSIBLE FOLLOW-UP would-
be to effect a "unilateral change in terms of
employment," where GSAs would refuse to
pay tuition, implementing a full tuition,
waiver on their own. Since tuition has to be
paid in order for a student to register for the.
following term, and since GSAs are required
to be enrolled for a minimum of 6 credits, non-
paying GSAs would be "locked out" of their
jobs come January if matters were not.
resolved by then.
Obviously, both these courses have serious.
consequences. The relative merits of these
and other possible actions will be discussed at:
the GEO meeting on Thursday, October-2,
1980, at 8 p.m. in the Rackham Amphitheatre.
In the meantime, a strong show of supporti
on October 1 might preclude the need for,
more militant action. The worst that can hap-

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