P :wA ARTS Sunday, January11, 1981 '4 Paa wA y . The Michigan Daily 'THE JAZZ SINGER' Run, By DENNIS HARVEY Can Neil Diamond act? Can monkeys talk? Yes-and in exactly the same, slightly unreal, reciting-sounds way. On his album covers, he's a well-oiled lounge lizard, some sad middle-aged fantasy of a Prince Charming: eyes watery from the strains of sensitivity, Holiday Inn Bar prowling attire intact (silk shirt unbuttoned to reveal that boldly hairy chest, with medallion dangling sensually), all of it in melty soft-focus, promising meaningful sex. The music is more of the same, Tom Jones stuff with Hallmark-card Heaviness, sung in that rugged monotone. It is almost impossible to imagine this presence as a walking-talking human being, and The Jazz Singer doesn't make it any easier. The scene in which Neil sings at a bar in blackface is already notorious among connoisseurs of epic bad taste, but that and every other horrendously misconceived sequence are ridiculous for reasons that go beyond the movie's ludicrous circa-1935 level of narrative sophistry. THEY'RE GIVEN an added edge of absurdity because Diamond magically, manages to seem out-of-place in any situation, in any locale. Playing he-man in a wildly-contrived barroom brawl, pulling a role-reversal not-now-honey-I- have-a-headache bit on his cloying wife (Catlin Adams) in bed, doing anything, he's a void trying very, very hard, to absolutely no effect. The secret behind the mind-buggering N.D. misty-eyed- gaucho persona has at last been )evealed, through both his not-all-there screen presence and the simply ghastly judgment in his decision to remake the eternally hokey if historic Jazz Singer-the man must be a complete idiot. It's fitting that this babe in filmland should have innocently decided he must have The Very Best Around as a silver screen sparring partner. Ergo, the patented world's greatest actor, Sir Laurence Olivier, is cast as an elderly cantor saddled with a geegolly-gosh son, Yussel Rabinovich (38-year-old Neil), who is going through a somewhat overdue adolescent identity crisis. Their scenes together are hilarious: Olivier runs gleefully cruel rings around Diamond's awe-Pops dead- weight sincerity with his outrageous ethnic cartoonery, complete with a dense mittle-European accent and an air of stuffed-furniture dignity. Sure, it's something of a scaiidal for Olivier to keep wasting his talent on these high- priced roles in trash films, but he does usually give us an astute parody of bad acting along the way, and never more so than here. AN EQUALLY FUNNY pairing is between Richard Fleischer (director of those corporate classics The Boston Strangler, Che!, Mandingo, and Tora! 'Tora! Tora!) and Jewish culture, which he observes roughly the same way the big studios observed blacks in the '30s-with cutesy condescension and outrageous simplification. The movie isn't as visually appalling as one might expect (no further compliments are called for, though), and the com- bination of complete plot inanity and Fleisher's stunhing-cardboard ap- proach saves it from being the usual dull bad film. It's a scream. The story begins with the sort of mon- tage of American-cultural-meltpot faces that haven't been seen in years, thank God, while on the soundtrack Neil's usual bomp-bomp-bomp tune ex- citedly yelps out, "Got a dream they've got to share/They . Come to America ... TODAY!" Such a nice man. As Yussel, Neil sings with his synagogue's choir, but sneaks his True Creative Yearnings in on the side by don' walk to this terrible movie! ." . I , °".+. : '. M , sunshine. Neil tells Dad the dismal news, and Olivier's eyes pop open and his lips blubber in a magnificent moment of private satire. ". . . A dee- VORCE??!!?!," he chokes out, then leaves, wailing "I hef no son!" as if the Pharoah had just announced doom on the tribe. Our hero is upset! He bangs his fist against a wall! (When Diamond bangs his fist against the wall, it's as effective as if he had said, "Darn! Now that just goes and ruins the whole durn thing!") He blows his cool at a recording session! (Whining, "What happened to the groove? What happened to the groore, guys?") Deeply troubled, he impetuously drives out into the desert (fast! mad!) and walks around pen- sively. Growing a beard and becoming a drifting Marlboro Man, he hitches around the rugged West, smokes a lot of cigarettes pensively (it's THAT kind of movie), picturesquely slings a duffle bag over his shoulder, gets a cowboy hat and shoes, wears a leather jacket (the Sears-Roebuck kind, for nice people), and stares gloomily through rain-pelted restaurant windows. Getting His Head Together in this mysterious way, he returns to L.A., where agent Molly hands him their AUDIT IONS FOR ALL THE WAY HOME BY TAD MOSE L JAN. 12,13 7-11 PM CALLBACKS JAN.14 ACTORS NEEDED 12 MEN- 7 WOMEN- from male children to grandparents Auditions by appointment only Sign up sheets by Room 1502. Frieze Bldg. Actual auditions - Trueblood Theatre Scripts available - PTP Office, Michigan League darling newborn baby while the sun's golden dying rays shine on the Pacific behind them. (They have already nuz- zled each other before a roaring fire at this point.) Molly begs a producer to give the guy another break. "His album went gold!" she cries. "A year ago!" the producer scoffs. Nevertheless, after being soppily reconciled with Dad by turning up to sing at the synagogue (with the same I-mean-this-really-I-do Pop inflections, gag) for Yom Kippur, Yussel/Jess wows the crowd as the opening act for some other comedian. Lucie Arnaz acts like a real person once in a while, when the script doesn't render cardboard even her relative naturalism. Aside from that, it's ail priceless and unwitting insanity, perhaps still not in a league with the truly unbelievable Times Square, bUt perversely entertaining in the way that lifts particular disasters from the common puddle of undistinctive losers. Word has been circulating that The Jazz Singer is a bad movie and should be avoided at all costs. Nonsense! It's'a terrible movie, and anyone with a sense of humour-should see it. Vicki Carr in drag? Amateur night at Swingo's Celebrity Motor Lodge? No, it's that Hunk, Neil Diamond, in his very first "acting" role as 'The Jazz Singer.' If you think the title is obnoxious ... moonlighting as suave Jess Robbins, singing with three slaphappily stereotyped black pals. His traditionally-minded father and wife disapprove of his involvement in that shameful thing, show biz, but this spunky guy defies them and goes to L.A. to audition for a big record com- pany. In L.A., he expresses wonder- ment upon seeing a palm tree and a limo; shows up one of those punk rockers by performing his terribly, terribly sensitive ballad the right way; and magically acquires fresh young agent Molly Bell (Lucie Arnaz), who for some ambigious reason finds him both attractive and talented. "You can become a legend in a mon- th," Molly tells him, speaking conser- vatively, and of course by his second concert date he's playing in a huge, vulgar Las Vegas-type club, enrap- turing an at-first-hostile teenaged crowd with the usual overorchestrated pop banalities. BUT ALL IS not well, since his prim wife doesn't like this nasty fame business'and demands his return. She finally takes a plane to drag him back, acts like a wallflower, nags, and stomps off in a huff to N.Y.C. Oh, well, enough of the bitch anyway, thinks Neil. Then, just when things are looking up again, Pop Cantor arrives, squinting at the a THE LOVES OF ISADORA Dir. Karel Reisz. VANESSA REDGRAVE, JASON ROBARDS. The elaborately constructed and innovative biography of Isadora Duncan, the high priestess of modern dance with a thing for togas and scarves. When she was on stage, she was transformed. She had a grace and fluidity that captured anyone who saw her dance." The film opens with a young Isadora solemnly lighting candles in a mystical ceremony dedicating her life to Art and Truth, and ends bluntly with a Bugatti bringing down the curtain in both life and an entire age of innocence. Redgrave received Oscar nomination and Best Ac- tress at Cannes. 7:00 & 10:00 at LORCH CINEMA GUILD Film Fun For You and Yours I 30 Day defective exchange ariod for new unit--same WITH THIS CUO