OPINION Friday, January 9, 1981 Poge 4 a - te stnt sa nihig an l Edited and managed by students at The University of Michigan 420 Maynard St. Ann Arbor, MI 48109 Vol. XCI, No. 85 Editorials represent a majority opinion of the Daily's Editorial Board Getting to that I W ANT A FREE trip to Michigan's next Rose Bowl? Just get yourself chosen Homecoming king or queen and start screaming about sex or race discrimination. The University ad- ministration will gladly pay your expenses to shut you up. "Homecoming?" you ask. "Wasn't that last Oc- tober 25? What does Homecoming have to do with the Rose Bowl?" A good question. "And wait a minute," you continue. "Aren't the Homecoming king and queen chosen through inter- views conducted by the University Activities Cen- ter, a student group? Why should the University be paying for their Rose Bowl trips?" Another good question. We, like you, had a number of questions about this royal fiasco, especially after reading about it in newspapers across the country. The story was so "cute" that national wire services picked it up a Zose Bowl -x I4INLD OF WH r~ W6ANWATi Ale v TNf The royal couple few days before the Rose Bowl. In fact, the story is anything but, cute. It started when Homecoming Queen Sherry King decided that UAC should provide her with a trip to the Rose Bowl as part-of the privileges of her rank. UAC officers, quite logically, refused her request, explaining that Homecoming queens were as good as pumpkins after midnight of the last day of Homecoming. , Queen King, waving the red flag of racial discrimination, pressed Univer- sity officials-all the way up to President Harold Shapiro-for a free Rose-Bowl trip. Noone will say exactly why the administration decided to pay for King's expenses, although Vice President Henry Johnson did say that King was a "persuasive person." So King went to the Rose Bowl. But that's only the beginning of the story. Homecoming King Tim Lee, not to be outdone by his imperial peer, decided that he, too, deserved a trip to the Rose Bowl at the University's ex- pense. If allegations of race discrimination worked for King, Lee appears to have figured, then allegations of sex discrimination would work for him. ("What's good for the goose is good for the gander," Lee is reported to have said.) So Lee threatened the University with a law suit. Suddenly, the failure to pay for Lee's trip was a "severe over- gight," according to Johnson, and the University promptly settled with 'Lee out of court. The King received $584. The story doesn't end there. Once in Pasadena, King found she Was being treated more like a peasant than a queen. She was not scheduled to serve in any official functions as a representative of the University and the was not allowed to ride on the Big e'en parade float. Unrolling the handy race discrimination flag once again, the queen called "foul": "I was never given a good reason why I couldn't ride on the float, so I just put it down to prejudice." Meanwhile, back home in Michigan, King Lee, if he watched the Rose Bowl at all, watched it on TV. Lee decided that the $584 was not erough, to cover his expenses, so he stayed home to plan just how he will spend his money-money that Johnson hastens to explain did not come from our tuition dollars. But wait-we're not quite done. The story would not be complete without a little background on the two prinicpal characters who wanted so desperately to fulfill their duties as public representatives of the University. Sherry King, when her royal picture appeared on the back page of the Daily in October, marched right into our of- fices to complain, red flag in hand. The Daily was racist because we didn't publish her picture on the front page, she wailed. And Tim Lee, twice-unsuccessful candidate for student government of- fices, spat on a dormitory director during a recent campaign. Because of that incident, this would-be public en- voy of the University was forced to resign from his position as a resident adviser in Markley Hall. What did Lee say this week about the Rose Bowl affair? "I don't care what they do for next year. Everything worked out to my satisfaction." That concerned response from the man chosen as our Homecoming king soun- ds amazingly similar to a comment Lee made after losing his bid for the presidency of LSA student government in November: "It's no big deal. I don't even care anymore." Surely there's a lesson in all of this, although we don't know exactly what it is. Maybe it's that the University, in these dire times of program cuts, should not throw money at anyone who trumps up a charge and cries wolf, er, discrimination. Maybe it's that UAC should rethink the whole Homecoming king and queen business. Or maybe, as one thoroughly disgusted administrator observed, this entire story is an unfortunate example of "self-aggrandizement." That's probably it. The fiasco was just one big lesson in human behavior. Well, at least we won the game. Resilience is key to for adolescent abu. This is the second story of a two-part series examining the abuse of teenagers. The first part appeared in yesterday's Daily. BOYS TOWN, Neb. - Adolescents who are abused at home are typically considered passive victims. Many are, to be sure, but some teens devise ways out of intolerable situations that show ingenuity and resolve. Their examples, coming at a time when decreased public funds will likely be available for youth services, are hopeful signs in an era when things look increasingly bleak for youth.. One of the best-publicized examples of tur- ning adversity into strength is Lisa Cobbs, a California teen who in 1979 was given the Rockefeller Foundation award for youth leadership partly because she worked at Taco Bell to help pay attorney's fees to emancipate herself from abusive parents. BUTOTHER stories abound. Rick, a St. Louis teenager who suffered repeated beatings at his father's hand, lived a fearful life. But he decided to make the best of it, and started lifting weights, hoping to build him- self up to defend himself. That irked his father, and he scheduled the boy's day with chores from dawn to dusk. Rick merely star- ted rising at 4 a.m. to work out. "There's a lot of room for continuedagrowth alongside injury. We can ta~ke an adverse situation and turn it into a fairly positive ex- perience by our reaction to it," says Dr. Ira Lourie of the National Institute of Mental Health. "The great majority of abused teenagers make it through okay. The human personality is rather flexible." One reason many abused youth survive so well is that they tend to be strong to begin with. One of the oldest maxims among those who counsel families is that the person whom the family thinks has the problem is usually its healthiest member. "A kid is often scapegoated and abused because he is strong enough to acknowledge his own problems. So the family dumps all their problems on him, too," adds Lourie. SEVERAL CRITICAL factors determine whether a youth will be able to overcome abuse and go on to a healthy adulthood, ac- cording to Dr. Robert Friedman of the Florida Mental Health Institute. Most important is a relationship with someone-boy or girlfriend, friend's parent, teacher, counselor, or coach-where the youngster can practice "being likeable." Also, having an area of competence, some way of winning approval or earning money helps. "The kids who fail at school, who don't have friends, who aren't really interested in "anything, are the ones we worry about," says Friedman. Many abused youths have unusual qualities of resilience from dealing with difficult parents or being saddled with extraordinary home responsibilities. SOME RESPOND by trying to spend as By Gwen Gilliam The Michigan Day' J S I tA'f1ihe5,wc uTe , TeAMA -- 9 for the whole thing. If your parents, who are supposed to know you pretty well,bsay that anything, you just believe them. You think you must deserve to be abused.'' FRIEDMAN, OF Florida's Mental Healtli Institute, says, "if a kid can realize that his family is screwedipthat this is not the way families should le and. despite how jnuch it hurts, leave it behind, he'll be better off than if he keeps trying to make it work, coming back for more hurt and abuse." Rick, whose father used to beat him, was trol by recognizing theiresource "Ife oeon~ would laugh at me because of my bruises,; used to beat them up. Then they'd have t~ come to school with bruises and get laughe. at and I just said, 'Hell, I'm just doing to them~ what my dad's done to me.' So now I jusl walk away." Anita realized she had married a man whN filled the role of her abusive mother. "It wai more or less a conscious decision that :r needed someone to punish me. Then I realizet 'Hey, I'm okay. It's my husband and my mont that are .sick.' " She filed for divorce whe'q her husband started abusing their son. ; sUE, WHO LIvES in St. Paul and whos mother beat her with canes, coat hangers, and knives until the girl ran away at age 11; recognizes she has retained some problems~ dealing with people."You get so used to get. ting beat up, where if you're not being beat up you don't know what the hell to do. Whenever I would meet somebody new, I'd do something really quick to try to piss them off. Then. would walk away and say, 'I told you. They don't care about me.' "Often simply recognizing a problem like Sue's is enough (o start the healing process. Lisa holds her problems inside. As a young child in Omaha, Neb., her parents dropped her off for an afternoon at grandma's that turned into seven years. They took her badk only to bounce her back and forth after their divorce. Finally, because neither wanted her, they committed her to a state reform school; At 17, she's developing ulcers. To relieve the pressure inside, Lisa, now , ward of the state, occasionally informs her probation officer that she's taking ofd. Trusting the girl to return, the officer doesnti reports her as a fugitive. Meanwhile, Lisa takes a bus until she hits a deserted area. Then she gets off, sits around and thinks for a day or so, and catches a bus for home whet she's through. Only by putting the pain behind them cap abused -youth get on with the business of growing up. As she puts it, "You can't walk around forever with these parents in your head beating you up all the time. You ca; grieve, but grieve and move on. Just don't g~t stuck there." Gwen Gilliam is the co-author of Uri derstanding Abusive Families. She wrotf this article for the Pacific News Service. 7f l- rn ncva bm much time as possible away from the house. Tara got involved with school clubs and took a job to stay away from her incestuous father. Anita, 16, volunteered to do drug counseling and visited rest home residents in her home town of Joliet, Ill. ,She would even clean- people's houses in exchange for transpor- tation just to get away from her violent, alcoholic mother. Another method is appeasement. Anita made sure she was home half an hour before every curfew, to try and avoidtbeatings. Tami, of St. Paul, Minn., whose father would "ground" her for minor housekeeping lapses like a dirty glass, saw to it that dinner was ready and on the table when he came home. For those who do leave, independent sur- vival requires even more adaptability. DAVID, WHO grew up in New Jersey, lived in mortal fear of his police detective father, who had beaten the boy and often threatened to shoot the entire family. So David, at age 16, ran away. He engineered his departure six months in advance, working as a restaurant bus boy to save money for camping equip- ment. He took several camping trips before giving himself a four-day lead one long weekend as he headed for the West Coast. That was six years ago, and he has yet to con- tact his family. Teenagers on the run have some big odds against them. They often stay on the move if police are looking for them and the jobs they find tend to be minimum wage at best. Often they take refuge in the only sector that will accept them: an illegal netherworld economy. Justine Wise Polier, retired New York State family court judge, has written that common crimes by runaways, such as transporting drugs, passing bad checks, and prostitution, are ways to adapt to a hostile world that offers no legitimate means of sup- port. SOME HOMELESS youths survive for years on little more than their wits. Mark was thrown out of his Encinitas, Ca., home at the age of 12 after a series of fights with his new stepfather. He spent his teens living on the streets and beaches of Encinitas, hiding out after dark to avoid getting picked up for curfew violations, sleeping in deserted houses, following the milk truck around town and stealing orange juice and milk from por- ches for breakfast. When he was 22, Mark was still a transient, drying his only socks over a beach bonfire, talking about his new job as a night janitor. He was elated that he would then be able to sleep on the beach during the day, instead of at night when it was more dangerous. To really break away from a life of mistreatment, however, a teenager must bury his parent's crippling attitudes that produced abuse in order to regain some measure of self-respect. "Otherwise," says Dr. James Barbarino, who did research on adolescent abuse at Boys Handling program cuts W UOM, Recreational Sports, Sum- While these cuts are necessary, in mer Commencement, and a host making them, administrators must of other non-academic programs may realize they are treading on thin ice. be placed on the chopping block thanks Each cut that is made must be handled to a $3 million shortfall in the Univer- with sensitivity and care. Faculty and sity's general fund budget. student input cannot be ignored in such Unlike those at many other state decisions. universities, University of Michigan As the University executives make administrators have opted to handle these cuts, until-now unknown suppor- this dilemma through non-academic ters of many of the programs being program reductions rather than slap- reviewed will begin to come out of the ping students with a mid-year tuition woodwork. Regardless of who sur- LETTERS TO THE DAILY: Adv ni ,,cnri to" f m ",c, I