0 OPINION x, Page 4 Thursday, January 8, 1981. The Michigan Daily Adolescent abuse: A collision of crises 6 BOYS TOWN, Neb.-A father starts feeling twinges of envy at the growing strength of his teenaged son, and decides he's going to have to let that smart-mouthed kid know who's boss. Unlike- the spankings of childhood, this beating-with fists-draws blood. A mother finds fault with every item of clothing her daughter buys and makes the girl face a critical inspection every morning before school. No matter what the girl wears, her mother tells her it looks terrible and demands she change into something else. BOTH ARE examples of "adolescent abuse," a basic conflict between parents and teens that can erupt into violence. "Nature has planned it so that the changes of adolescence rub salt into the wounds of middle age," says Dr. Ira Lourie, a specialist in child abuse at the National Institute of Mental Health. This conflict in ages can lead to abuse that is different from the blind lashing-out of child abuse, researchers have found. The stresses are long-simmering ones that have come to a boil due to unfortunate timing in life cycles. Parents with no history of violence can become abusive for the first time as their children reach adolescence. IT IS-DIFFICULT to establish precisely the extent of the problem, but it is generally, recognized that teenagers make up between 25 and 35 percent of the 2 million reported child abuse cases in America each year. Resear- chers Dr. James Garbarino and Barbara Car- son of Boys Town Center in Nebraska have found that half of the adolescent abuse cases they studied involved families where no child abuse had taken place. It happens that most American parents are "midolescent," or age 35 to 50, and leaving young adulthood just as their youngsters are getting ready to enter it. Both groups are changing in the same areas, but in opposite directions. .During puberty, youth sprout physically and mentally and begin carving out identities. Frequently, they are insecure, erratic, and noody. At the same, time, their parents are taking self-inventories, realizing their youth has passed. They tend to be restless and dissatisfied with life in general and with their jobs and marriages in particular. BOTH DEVELOPMENTAL stages cause people to be self-absorbed and unsure of them- selves, with little reserve for helping others. "It's a clash of inferiority complexes," says researcher Barbara Smith of the University of Minnesota. Adolescents are developing sexually while their parents are beginning to worry about im- potence, menopause, gray hairs, and pot bellies. The adolescent is falling in love at the By Gwen Gil/jm peak time for his parents' marital disillusion- ment. While parents are feeling they've accom- plished all they ever will, the teens' career dreams are limitless. Youth is a time to defy death by joyriding or experimenting with drugs or alcohol, while parents face the illnesses and deaths of their friends, as well as their own demise. IN SUMMARY, it's as if some cosmic clock has programmed the most exciting parts of a teenager's life to irritate his parents' sore spots directly. The research by Dr. Garbarino and Barbara Carson at Boys Town Center found that adolescent abuse seems to reflect more long- term interpersonal problems than the quick, * unprovoked attacks of child abuse. They found the merging of parents' mid-life crises and teens' adolescent crises to be an extended moment of truth for the family. Problems that were more subtle in earlier years begin to sur- face as the adolescent can, for the first time, call his parents' bluff. In families that don't make the transition from spanking to psychological persuasion, the adolescent growth spurt can cause parents to use more and more force, even violence, to maintain control. RICK'S FATHER had always been a severe disciplinarian, but it wasn't until Rick became a teenager that fists started replacing the belt. It was as if Rick's father had to prove that his strength was still superior to the boy's. "If I punched you, I would knock you out," he used to remind the boy. One day, while father and son were cleaning the family laundromat in suburban St. Louis, Rick's father found some dirt in the corner the boy's broom shouldn't have missed. He started punching Rick's face, drawing blood. Then he beat the boy's head against one of the dryers. Equally as damaging is emotional abuse, making a child feel worthless through constant criticism or failing to consider his or her opinions. Often the parent is trying to feel more powerful or important than the teenager. Marlena's mother demoralized the girl every morning, for no matter what the California teenager wore, she was sent upstairs to change. After her mother finished making fun of her choice of clothes, Marlena would go to school feeling like a nothing. She didn't realize it, but her mother's excessive concern with clothing was an attempt to suppress her daughter's budding, threatening sexuality. SOME PARENTS fear losing control so much they turn totalitarian. Tami, a St. Paul, Minn., teenager, had a father who was a fanatic about spotless drinking glasses. Whenever he found a spot, he would "ground" his daughter, which meant leaving the house or even talking on the phone was forbidden. The girl also had to ask permission to eat, take baths, or go to bed. The life cycle conflict also sets youngsters up for incest because they are developing sexually at a time when parents are looking for confir-. mations of their own sexuality. , Tara's father had always been affectionate, giving her lots of long back rubs. When Tara, who lived in Missouri, turned 13, he started having intercourse with her. Every morning, shortly after her mother's car left the driveway, Tara's father, an airline steward, would wake her up by having sex with her. Af- terward, she would get up and make him breakfast as if nothing had happened. Clinicians studying youth say adolescent abuse doesn't necessarily reflect a lack of parental love. Adults who are destabilized by. their own development are more often over- whelmed than unloving. Even Tara, who never wants to see her in- cestuous father again outside a courtroom, says, "I can tell that my dad loves me. He just loves me too much, and in the wrong way." Gwen Gilliam is the co-author of Under- standing Abusive Families. She wrote this. article for the Pacific News Service. 6 6 0 Edited and managed by students at The University of Michigan' Vol. XCI; No. 84 420 Maynard St. Ann Arbor, MI 48109 Editorials represent a majority opinion of the Daily's Editorial Board Lines, Lists, and drudgery: It's that time of year T'S HAPPENED. It's no longer something that can be spoken about in whispers. It's here and we're stuck with it. Along with the new year and the sub- zero temperatures, classes have star- ted. Not to mention the lines and wait lists to get into those classes-like Econ, Freshman Comp, and Human Sexuality. Like trying to fit six elephants into a Volkswagen, ad- ministrators still haven't figured out how to fit the number of people who want a course into the number of cour- ses offered. As that California tan wears away and the winter break peace of mind comes apart, all of the rest of the win- ter term drudges will begin to come together. Think of it: the $133 bill for books, grinching through mounds of snow to get to classes, getting buried in syllabi. Then there's doing everything on the syllabi. Pretty soon it will be time for the first hourly or paper. Then come midterms-and before you know it, it will be finals time again. Sure, there are stops at Dooley's --and a spring break here and there-but for the most part it's another four months of cold, barren, winter term. Yet, already this winter term has shown some signs of varying from the norm. For instance, there's more snow today than there was last year at this time. So when you're studying for the hourly at least you can think of all the-' skiing you might be doing. There have been other changes, too. By the end of this month we'll have a new president. And buying books is dif- ferent since the University Cellar in- stalled the new electronic guard. If this seems mundane, the prospect of being involved in a war in several different parts of the world may be en- ticing. Severe economic blight also looks like a highlight of this semester. Whatever the result, take a deep breath and plunge into the snowbanks of winter term. And, take heart-it's the last term before the next one. ,;;III i I i 11 I'i ,!' I'; 'i\ ,I 11 l7 ,/ IF 'y'o'gE flITERETEP IN OUR CAM~'PAIGN' AGAINST GUN kE&1FiRA~iON. T-MWES Ptb.KE C. K TarLA ite ,y~x P O 4/ $7 4 0 4 LETTEDC 'Mr T'1TtTl nA TT 'V. A student union should be student-run To the Daily: In its current state, the Michigan Union falls woefully short of meeting the needs of the majority of students on the University of Michigan Ann Ar- bor campus. This is a statement with which very few students here would disagree. Lately, however, some students have at- tempted to reverse this situation. For the last four months, a group of students known as the Acting Executive Committee of the Michigan Union has been hard at work writing up an operating charter for the Union. It was felt that a new charter, outlining the purposes of the Union and its governing structure, would be beneficial in giving some direc- tion to the Union and in making it more responsive to the needs of the University and its students. To this end, the Acting Executive Committee, after consultations and meetings with students, the University ad- ministration, and the current Union Director, drafted an ... _ . A Gettysburg A ddress To the Daily: In a statement last month, an aide to Ronald Reagan said that human rights would not be allowed to interfere with other U.S. vital interests in the for- mation of future U.S. foreign policy with Latin American coun- tries. That sounds like a con- tinuation of our permanent Latin American policy. If the Gettysburg Address were rewritten to describe our prac- tices in Latin America, it would go something like this: "Ten score and four years ago, our fathers brought forth a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the equality of all men, except those whose skin is dark. Now we are engaged in a great fiscal war, testing whether our southern neighbors, or any people so poor or so cheated, can long endure. . . But, in a larger sense, we can't hallow this ground, but rather the money it government of the people, by the people, and for the people, shall perish from this earth." Where have we valued the dollar more than liberty and a government of the people, etc.? Chile, 1970: The people of Chile elect Salvador Allende on his record and promise of land reform and people's rights, not the dollar's. We then cut all aid to Chile, except that we increased aid to the military; copper mines there were too important to us to let human rights interfere. In 1973, the army took power by for- ce and killed Allende. In Guatemala in 1954 and the Dominican Republic in 1965, U.S. Marines protected the interests of U.S. businesses. We showed those who dared choose their own government exactly what we mean now by "freedom": Our freedom to use them and their land; their freedom to starve. This is not the comp~lete list. only operating charter for the Union, which was scrutinized and ap- proved by the Michigan Student Assembly in mid-December. The charter was then brought before the current director of the Union, Frank Cianciola. It was at this stage that a problem arose. Mr. Cianciola rejected the charter, apparently because he was not happy with the division of powers and responsibilities in the document. The proposed charter divides responsibilities between an Executive Committee (composed mostly of students, along with representatives for alumni, faculty, and staff) and the Union Director. Of particular concern to Mr. Cianciola is the section which gives the student- dominated Executive Commit- tee joint and equal power with the Union Director in establishing major Union policy decisions concerning, among other things, building use, scheduling, leasing policies, and Union budget ap- proval. Mr. Cianciola apparently would rather keep all these powers in his own hands, relegating the Executive Com- mittee to merely an advisory capacity, where it is possible that student input could be ignored in future decisions regarding the Union. And so the situation now stands at, an impasse, the Acting Executive Committee insisting on worthwhile student input policy decisions, the Union Direc- tor insisting on keeping students in a subordinate role. Later this, week, the Acting Executive Committee will go before other ; University administration of ficials in the hopes of hammering our some kind of solution. Now as a student and an MSA . member, I may be slightly biased in my opinion, but it seems only logical that a student union should function for the students and that the students should have a majority say in how their union is run. This charter is not attem pting to take control away from the University administration or the Union Director. All operating policies will continue to be im- plemented by the Director. This charter merely insists that students be given a voice in deciding what the Union operating policies will be, arid ultimately in how the Union fun- ctions for students and for the University as a whole. I don't believe that this is too much to ask for, and I sincerely hope that the administration and the students can reach an agreement that is satisfactory to both sides. It is in the best interests of everyone in the University com- munity that an agreement be reached and that the Union begins to function more efficien- tly in the future. -Mark VanderBroek MSA Vice-president in " ° charge of Budget Priorities January 7 talpatients . Former men P R I n - n( i ,' . li . -- ;; ......