-HAPPENINGS- HIGHLIGHT Professors Elizabeth Eisenstein and Richard Alexander will speak today at a meeting of the Research Club of the University of Michigan. Eisen- stein's topic is "The Early Printer as a Renaissance Man" and Alexander's discussion is on the "Biology of Moral Systems." The meeting will be held at 8 p.m. in the 4th floor West Conference Room, Rackham. FILMS Cinema II-The Furies, 7 p.m.; Johnny Guitar, 9 p.m., Nat. Sci. Aud. AAFC-Apocalypse Now, 6:30 & 9:30 p.m., Lorch Hall. CFT-Stray Dog, 3:15 & 7 p.m.; Rashomon, 5:30 & 9:15 p.m., Michigan Theater. Film Video Studies-The '50s and '60s-A Period Without Consequences, 8 p.m., MLB 3. Jewish Cultural Assoc. & East Quad-Lies My Father Told Me, 9 p.m., Rm. 126 East Quad. Penguin Productions (Men's Glee Club)-Kelly's Heroes, 6:45 & 9:30 p.m., Michigan Union Assembly Hall. SPEAKERS Psychiatry-Howard Lerner, "Affective Disorders in Adolescence," 9:30- 11 a.m.,CPH Aud. Social Work-Brown Bag Lunch, Marsha Chamberlin, "Women in Ad- ministration," noon, 2056 Frieze. School of Education-Perry Bullard, "Education Budgets in the '80s, or Apocalypse Now," 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m., 2232 SEB. University Civic Club-Regent Deane Baker, Soviet chemical warfare, 11:30 a.m., Rms. 102 & 103, Michigan Union. Afroamerican & African Studies-Francille Wilson, "George Haynes, the Division of Negro Economics & the U.S. Department of Labor, 1918-1921," noon,246 Lorch Hall. Communication-Richard Allen, "Television Environnent in Color," noon, 2050 Frieze. CEW-Tray lunch discussion, Susan Contratto, "Changes in Psychology's Perception of the Parenting Role Over Time," noon-1:30 p.m., Rms. 4 & 5, Michigan League. Russian & East European Studies-J. David Singer, "Soviet & American lMilitary Strategy," noon, Commons Room, Lane Hall. Slavic Languages & Literature-Sandor Rot, "The Carpathian Linguistics Area," 4 p.m., MLB, Lec. Rm. 1.% Indus, & Oper. Engin.-Michael Best, "Efficient Quadratic Programming Algorithms for Portfolio Optimization," 4 p.m., 243 W. Eng. South & Southeast Asian Studies-Peter Bertocci, "Discussion of Satyajit lay's Film 'Aparajito'," 4 p.m., Commons Room, Lane Hall. Chemistry - A. Rees Midgley, "Immunoassay of Hormones," 4 p.m., 1200 Chem. Chemistry-Richard Lawton, "Let's Cross-Link," 4 p.m., 1300 Chem. Natural Resources-Raymond Housley, "Management of the National Forest System," 3-5 p.m., 1040 Dana Bldg. Statistics-Bob Keener, "Maximum Likelihood Regression of Rank- Censored Data," 4 p.m., 451 Mason Hall. Comp., Info. & Engin.-A. K. Bejczy, "Sensor-Guided Robto Control," 3 p.m., 1508 E. Engin., Medieval & Renaissance-Edelgard Dubruck, "Medieval & Renaissance Witchcraft," 4:30 p.m., 2002 MLB. Law School-Austin Ranney, "Political Reality in the Television Age," 4 p.m., 100 Hutchins Hall.I NSNA-Tom Bissonnette, "Strike Issues," noon, 5117 School of Nursing. Polish American Student Assoc.-Ferdinand Gajewski, "Chopin, 'Coun- tenance Polanaise,' " 7:30 p.m., 3rd floor, Henderson Rm., Michigan League. Arthritis Foundation-Barbara Figley, "Sexuality & Health Issues as - Related to Arthritis,"7-9 p.m., Washtenaw United Way, 2nd floor, Conferen- ce room, 2301 Platt Road. . Residential College-Jessica Merure, "Introduction toNew Identity Process," 7 p.m., Greene Lounge, E. Quad. Chinese Studies-Leonard Woodcock, "Sino-American Relations in Per- spective," 8p.m., Rackham Amphitheater. Michigan Map Society-Basil Collins, "Arab Maps," 8 p.m., E. Lee. Hall, 3rd floor, Rackham Rudrananda Ashram-Swami Chetanananda, "The Awakening of Univer- sal Consciousness," t p.m., Kuenzel Room, Michigan Union. Earthwatch-Gary Ekman,"Energy in the 1980's: The Reagan 'Plan'," 7:30 p.m., 443 Mason Hall. Computing Center-Jim Bodwin, "Debugging in ALGOL W," 3:30-5 p.m., B120 MLB. Computing Center-J. Ogden & G. Helffirch, "Mtsd-Fact & Fiction," 7-9 p.m., Sem. Rm., Computing Center. PERFORMANCES Ark-Hoot Night, Open mike, 9 p.m., 1421 Hill. Major Events-Chuck Mangione, 8 p.m., Hill Aud. UAC-Laugh Track, Kevin O'Neil, 9 p.m., University Club, Michigan Union. Arts Programs-Grant Moore, Harpsicord & Ensemble, noon, Pendleton Room, Michigan Union. School of Music-Percussion students recital, 8p.m., Recital Hall. Theater & Drama-"Tartuffe," 8p.m, Power Center. MEETINGS Women in Communications-student chapter meeting, 5:30 p.m., Marsh Room, 2nd floor, Frieze Bldg. LSA Student Government-weekly meeting, 6:15 p.m., MSA chambers, 3rdfloor, Michigan Union. Greenpeace - General meeting, 8 p.m., Rm. 4117, Michigan Union. Latin American Solidarity Committee-Educational meeting, discussion of U.S. policy in El Salvador, 7:30 p.m., International Center.' NSNA-Monthly meeting, 5 p.m., 5101 School of Nursing.. Science Fiction Club-"Stilyagi Air Corps," 8:15 p.m., Ground Floor Conf. Rm., Michigan Union. MISCELLANEOUS Tau Beta Phi-Free tutoring, walk-in, 7-11 p.m., 307 UGLI & 2332 Bursley. WCBN-"Radio Free Lawyer: Discussion of Legal Issues," 6 p.m., 88.3 FM. Nursing Council-Blood Pressure Screening, 8 a.m.-4 p.m., Fishbowl. Folklore Society-Clog Dance Class/Practice, 7:30 p.m., League Studio. Women Engineers-Pre-interview Program, York Division Borg & War- ner Co., 1-4 p.m., 144 W. Engin. ISR-Computer Support Group, "Structured Files in OSIRIS," (Session 2), 1:30-3 p.m., 6050 ISR. School of Education-Info. on elementary education, 2-4 p.m., 1322 SEB. Film Video Studies-Special Effects for Film anti Video, 6 p.m.-midnight, Aud. C., Angell Hall. Student Alumni Council-Michigan First & Foremost Week, 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Fishbowl. To submit items for the Happenings Column, send them in care of: Happenings, The Michigan Daily, 420 Maynard St., Ann Arbor, MI.,,48109. The Michigan Daily-Wednesday, November 18, 1981-Page 3 Soviet production falls MOSCOW (AP) - Production fell short of goals this year in agriculture, coal, iron and steel, the chief economic planner reported yesterday. Nikolai Baibakov told delegates to the Soviet Parliament that "it was not possible to fulfill the 1981 plan" in those areas of a curent five-year plan set to end in 1985. He did not specify how wide the gap was in any of the four areas. PRESIDENT LEONID Brehnev told the Supreme Soviet on Monday that the economic planners were to blame for a "poor crop year," and food remained the nation's central problem. Of particular note in Baibakov's speech, Western experts said, was an- nouncement that capital investment during the five-year period was projec- ted to grow by 10.4 percent during the five-year plan. Last March, it was projected at 12 to 15 percent. The experts said the reduction meant the Soviets would be putting off con- struction projects and speculated that money saved from cancellation of the work would be used to help meet con- sumer needs, or be given to the military. SOVIET FINANCE Minister Vasily Garbuzov told the 1,500 delegates yesterday that Soviet defense spending in 1982 will be unchanged from 1981. Western experts, however, said Brezhnev hinted Monday night at an in- crease in military spending when he cited the "complicated" international situation as one factor contributing to the sluggishness of the Soviet economy. "Our defense needs are being depen- dably ensured," Brezhnev said during his speech to the Communist Party Central Committee. Baibakov picked up on the theme in his 90-minute speech yesterday saying poor planning in agricultural-related industries was undermining the "many measures" the government has taken to improve the agricultural outlook. He referred only briefly, however, to the "food problem" that Brezhnev said remained the "central" economic and political problem facing the nation. Like -Brezhnev, Baibakov did not give figures for the 1981 Soviet grain harvest - figures which usually are revealed - but predicted meat produc- tion would increase from 15.1 million metric tons in 1980 to 18.2 million tons by 1985. I Brezhnev ... blames economic planners Teen scares off intruder An intruder entered a 14-year-old girl's bedroom after breaking into her house early yesterday and began to take off his pants, police reported, but the girl screamed and scared him off. The suspect entered the house on the 200 block of Crest through an unlocked side door at about 3 a.m. Indecent exposure on Fuller A woman walking along the 2200 block of Fuller reported, an indecent exposure to the police yesterday after she observed a man masturbating in a car. Police said the woman was walking east on Fuller when a "car ap- proached her and the driver, a man in his late 20s, asked her if she wanted a ride. When she refused, he drove slowly along.side her and exposed himself. Assault on Maynard . A man was arrested for assaulting a policeman who wasquestioning the man's friend on the 300 block of Maynard early yesterday. The two were stopped because the friend was walking with a glass of beer in his hand. They fled from the 'officers, but they were eventually caught. One of them then assaulted the officer and was arrested. During the incident, someone else apparently went into the policemen s' car and stole their flashlight, police reported. Campus area accidents An accident involving a police vehicle occurred early yesterday while the of- ficers were in pursuit of another vehicle. The police were standing behind a car they had just stopped on _ Washtenaw near Hill when another car sped by and one of the passengers threw a bottle at the police. The officers drove off after the car with their emergency equipment on when another - car, driven by Gregory Turk, 20 of Spring Lake, plowed into the side of their car. One of the officers, William Wise, 34, was taken to University Hospital and released. The other officer and Turk escaped injury. No tickets were issued. Another accident involved a Univer- Come hear sity student who was riding her bike on Observatory, just south of Washington D UK.E U Heights, at about 3:30 p.m. yesterday. Mariam Rozian, 17, was hit when a car, 4x and the ALL STAR FROGS'* driven by Heinz Kasse, 53, of South Lyon, backed out of a driveway, ap- parently without seeing her. Kasse was*# # ; not ticketed. T HE UNIT ED ST A TES OF A ME RIC A THIS NOTE IS NOT LEGAL FOR ANTTHING PUBLIC OR PRIVATE- ! 15% OFF All Merchandise WITH THIS COUPON (except sole items) 201 E. Washington at Fourth we stock a full line of clothing, boots, camping Open M-Sat 9-6 994-3572 equipment, hnting clothing & winter coats. Expires Saturday, November 28, 1981 THE TIMELESS WISDOM OF TWO MILLENNIA BY THAT LOVABLE GERIATRIC WONDER ChiC Ielar Old CMan By Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner Every immortal word of the recorded 2000 YEAR OLD MAN legend is preserved' for Eternity-and whatever happens after that. THE 2000 YEAR OLD MAN, transformed from records which have sold 1 million copies since the first album was released in 1963 to an illustrated book, is the result of a perfectly meshed partnership that began at a Holly- wood party when Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner were recent alumni of Sid Caesar's "Your Show of Shows." That partnership continues today after each has earned his individual claim to superstardom. In THE 2000 YEAR OLD MAN, readers will learn the authors' amazing secrets for t o ots*A At A Cti1 A C -- t L S"A long life, like slow growth ("I breastfed for. 200 years") and a natural organic diet ("Clouds. Stars. Rocks. We ate big things.") Best of all, readers will enjoy the timeless wis- dom of two millennia. On the deep heartbreak of fatherhood, for example: "I have over 42,000 children, not one comes to visit me." And the shortcut to happiness: "Listen to your mother and your father. Listen to your grand- mother and grandfather. Listen to an aunt and uncle. Listen to a smart niece. Listen to a good-looking cousin. And mainly listen to your heart. And listen to your watch. And listen to your fountain pen. Listen to your inkwell" Here is that classic of comedy, THE 2000 n9 YEAR OLD MAN. May he live-and keep us laughing for the next 2000 years. More wit and wisdom from these classic interviews: On fear: Reiner: "What was the means of transporta tion then?" Brooks: "Mostly fear.. you would see an ani- mal that would growl. .you would go two miles in a minute. Fear would be the main propulsion. N . III I ~ I