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November 17, 1981 - Image 4

Resource type:
The Michigan Daily, 1981-11-17

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Poge 4

Tuesday, November 17, 1981

The Michigan Daily0

. . ......... .

Mr. Administrator pulls a Stockman
ilk about coincidences! Not two days "But I've got to clear my conscience," could say it was a Trojan horse: We sure sur- ting. So, we asked ourselves, what was the Engineering-there's a place we plan
re David Stockman's revealing con- he insisted. "If President Shapiro takes me prised everyone, huh? It's simple supply-side most useless department on campus? The an- up. Engineers are the leaders of tomor
ons hit the papers last week, Igot a call out to the wood shed on this one, so be it." economics-we supplied ourselves with nice swer was obvious: the geography department. know."
Mr. Hi Level Administrator, my There's no wood shed on campus, I raises so the benefits will trickle down to our What the hell, if you need maps, you can get
ipal source over in the Fleming Ad- thought as I hung up the phone. He must wives and children." them at any gas station and the Grad Library


to pump
row, you

ministration Building (you know, that
prison-like structure by the Cube with tiny
windows to keep the evil-doers inside).


have meant the West Engineering Building.
What follows, then, are excerpts from
the interviews.
On the origin of "smaller but better":
"Everybody thinks this marvelous budget-
cutting slogan was carefully designed by the
University administration in some flash of
public-relations brilliance. Ha-you wanna
know where it really came from? The
executive officers were sitting around Hal's of-
fice one day, shooting the bull like we always
do. Suddenly Billy leaps up-such a comedian
he is! -and tells this dirty joke about a bionic
midget. 'Smaller but better' was the punch-
On faculty and staff pay raises: "We had
to make the raises palatable as a political mat-
ter, see, so we gave everybody pretty much the
same percentage we took. But our salaries are
gobs bigger than those of most professors-and
oodles bigger than those of mere
secretaries-so we got lots more money. You

On the University's budget figures:
"None of us really understands what's going on
with all these numbers. People are getting
from A to B and it's not clear how we got
On Harold Shapiro's economic forecast
for the state: "None of us really understands
what's going on with all these numbers."
On tuition hikes: "We understand perfec-
tly what's going on with all these numbers:
They will continue to go up. Watch for a tuition
increase of 20 percent next year ... Look, we
have to keep raising tuition, so we can cut down
on class sizes. The higher the tuition, the more
students we drive away."
On program cutbacks: "Last year we were
desperate. Our revenue was slashed suddenly,
the projections for the future were
terrible-we had to get in there and start cut-

has about two dozen world atlases already....
Right now we're looking at some other pretty
useless areas. Like the School of Nursing-it's
just a place for those pansies who didn't have
the guts, or the grades, to become doctors. And
the School of Education-already too many
teachers flooding the job market. The School of
Natural Resources-there are scarcely any
natural resources left, so why have a whole
school to study them? And the School of
Library Science-do we really need to give out
degrees in whispering 'Shhh'? And then there's
my favorite-the School of Social Work. What
the hell do they do in a school of social work, for
God's sake?
"... Look, the key word is pragmatics. We're
gonna cut those units that don't provide direct
payoffs. Like the history department. Well,
maybe we couldn't get away with cutting the
history department. But we can damn well
make sure those professors do something
useful. We ought to make them work night shif-
ts as custodians... . Now take the School of

On the athletic department: "I really wan-
ted to grab hold of some of Canham's cash, but
the president wouldn't go for it. I mean, here
Canham's built this huge new indoor practice
field/health spa/airplane hangar and we can't
even get the window blinds to close in Angell
Hall classrooms. We could solve most of the
University's budget problems if we could tap
into the athletic department budget. But noooo,
the president's advisors insisted. Without a
strong athletic department, other universities
will perceive us as weak. There's a public man-
date, they contended, to bolster our defense=-
and offense and kicking game. In fact, the
president has approved Canham's newest plan,
which will cost untold scads of dollars: an
MX football stadium. Canham figures if we can
move our own stadium around the country, we
can reap big profits when Michigan plays away

"I'd say it's time to publish those inter-
views I've been giving you off the record
for the past 10m onths, Mr. Ad-
Oninistrator told me. "I'm in a confessional
Surprised at this amazing suggestion, I
tried to warn him of the consequences.
"You know, you gave me some pretty
damaging stuff. President Shapiro will not
be pleased."

Witt's column appears every Tuesday.



teyt an Michig an
Edited and managed by students at The University of Michigan


Vol. XCII, No. 59

420 Maynard St.
Ann Arbor, MI 48109

Editorials represent a majority opinion of the Daily's Editorial Board

"TeI O TS ..


tV1 -IAN5 iN L gA/oN

'Better' draft boards

Los Angeles Times Syndicate

IT'S TRUE, of course, that there's no
such thing as a good draft board,
but recent actions by Gov, William
Milliken are likely to make Michigan
draft boards much more fair han they
have been in the past.
While there currently is no draft, the
same flurry of bravado that somehow
compelled former President Carter to
resurrect draft registration compelled
him to bring back one of America's
least-loved institutions: the draft
But while draft registration has
drawn a measure of negative publicity
and resistance, the creation of the
draft boards themselves languished in
relative obscurity.
It was into this void, however, that
Milliken stepped with a novel-and
very good-Idea. At the prompting of,
the American Civil Liberties Union,
several weeks ago the governor sent
all 405 board finalists a series of
questions to determine whether they
might be biased in favor of the military
if called on to consider requests for
Although the governor's plan raised
eyebrows at the Selective Service Ad-
ministration in Washington, it was

sorely needed to counterbalance the in-
fluence of the people who chose the
finalists: officers of the Michigan
National Guard.
The dangers of allowing the National
Guard's choices stand unquestioned
are obvious. Naturally, people in the
military would have a bias toward
picking finalists with whom they
agree. The results could have, been
devastating to men seeking defermen-
ts for various reasons. The hearing
given conscientious objectors, for
example, might not have been as sym-
pathetic as necessary by a pro-
military board.
Already the plan is having an effect.
Last week, seven review boards set up
by Milliken to review the responses to
the questions rejected more than 40 of
the National Guard's choices, although
an aid to the governor said that not all
of those disqualified were judged to be
too pro-military.
Granted, the very laws under which
the draft boards would have to operate
have serious problems, but Milliken's
action on the draft boards is commen-
dable. It ensures, at the very least, that
not all of Michigan's 81 draft boards
will be necessarily loaded with
militant VFWs.

. Bands should se

To the Daily:
On Saturday, Nov. 21, as
the Michigan-Ohio State football
game winds down to its final
dramatic moments, what I like to
refer to as the Two-Minute
Disgrace will again take place
almost unnoticed by partisans on
both sides of the stadium.
Nearly 300 of Ohio State's most
devoted supporters will have to
leave the game. This ritual takes
place alternately each year at
Ann Arbor and Columbus as
the visiting marching band-"for
security reasons"-must leave
the stadium, thereby missing not
only the climax of the entire
season but what has become the
finest two minutes in national
college football.
This minute mockery of what
amateur athletics is advertised to

be all about shames both schools
and is an insult to true college
football fans everywhere.
It is necessitated because a
long time ago after a game, a few
students from one school tore up
a few instruments and uniforms
of the band of the other school.
Because of it, hundreds of young
musicians from both universities
have been penalized.
As the parent of a young lady
who marches in another univer-
sity band, I know something of
the devotion and hard work en-
dured by these young people who
will entertain us so flawlessly at
the Michigan-OSU game that
day: The long hours of practice
under a hot September sun after
which you retugn to the dorm
beat like a horse and smelling
like a goat; the damp, darkness

ea of.t
of the cold practice field in
November; the stinging blisters;
the missed meals that mom and
dad paid for; the less-than-first
class\ travel and other accom-
modations; the indignity of
ducking an occasional thrown
beer bottle; the homework that
rots while you get ready for
Saturday's show; and the wind,
rain, driving snow, and bitter
cold that freezes your hands and
glues your horn to your tongue on
game day.
It seems to me that there is no
one in the stadium. more deser-
ving of the opportunity to remain
to savor the victory or help
shoulder the defeat than the
members of the bands.

Witt's remarks intolerable

raU, ,

To the Daily:
Since the publication of
Howard Witt's column concer-
ning the Michigan College
Republican Organization
(MICRO) (Daily, Nov. 10) and
me, much confusion and con-
troversy has surfaced to the
exactness of my remarks. In fact,
much of the organization's
credibility and reputation has
also been threatened simply due
to a few misplaced words. This
reply will solidify the
organization's validity on cam-
pus and present my actual
Firstly, contrary to Mr. Witt's
biased view, MICRO does offer
college students something
tangible and worth-
while-especially on a campus
that spawned the Students for a
Democratic Society as Mr. Witt
so proudly pointed out. Besides
the normal functions of
arranging debates, seminars.
and the promotion of a political
speaker series, MICRO has.
emerged as a viable alternative
voice for the students at the,
University of Michigan.
The rivalry that exists in the
political arena today desperately
needs input from college studen-

order to portray me as an
ignorant narrow-minded student
is intolerable. I resent Mr. Witt's
value-judging manner. I
Setting the record straight, I do
not believe the United States
should have installed a ruler in
Iran after the departure of the
Shah. Rather I implied the ,uc-
ceeding president, Bani Sadr,
should have received support to a
greater extent than history
To further elaborate on the
discrepancies of the column to
my personal opinion would only
cause greater embarrassment to
Howard Witt and The Michigan
Any intelligent reader can
easily distinguish fact from
fabrication. In fact not one,
single direct quote was used by
Mr. Witt to present his
argument. And for Mr. Witt to
correlate any significant
meaning between my personal
beliefs and the members of the
College Republicans as a whole is
As for the future, I guarantee
MICRO will flourish.
And I suppose Howard Witt will
continlie his spitting habits to no
avail. MICRO will endure with or
_ m ..+.t ++--nMr_ ., ntv.s..- m m+

Would the coaching staff per-
mit the removal "for security
reasons" of fourth and fifth string
members who had no chance of
playing in the final couple of
minutes? How long must we
tolerate these beautiful autumn
Saturday happenings to be tar-
nished by the fear of a few
rowdies, the hustlers of hate,
bombed-out drunks, and the need
to protect coaches with armed
Isn't it about time that 89,000 to
106,000 good people stand up and
stop surrendering to a dozen or so
animals up in the stands?
In late October, Michigan fans
and citizens lost a devoted spor-
tscaster and super human being.
His love for his alma mater was
matched only by his love and
respect for the youth of this entire
nation and their ability to achieve
and fulfill all the hours of all the
future days.
If Michigan fans would like to

he game
remember this man in a positive
way; if we are not only "cham-
pions," but also "the leaders and
best" that we sing of every
Saturday; if we truly want to
"hold high our shield," we can
find no better starting point than
to put an end to the Two-Minute
Disgrace and urge the Ohio State
Marching Band-win, lose; or
draw-to stay! Let them know we
appreciate their fine shows, and
in the name of goodwill and spor-
tsmanship we will simply not
allow any harm to come to them.
And perhaps in Columbus,*
Oh. on Nov. 20, 1982, the visiting
band will again be invited to
remain with their team to the end
of the game. A new era of
Michigan-OSU football would
begin! An era of rock 'em, sock
'em, no-quarter-given, no-
prisoners-taken, Pasadena-or-
bust football where ugly hate is at
last replaced with the beauty of
mutual respect.
. Bob Ufer touched our lives with
a simple, sincere message: Foot-
ball is not a game of hate. Like
life itself, it is a game of love, of
loyalty, of devotion, of discipline,
and the desire to serve "the
team" to the very best of our
ability whether we are All-
American tailbacks or fifth chair
cornetists. We equally honor all
who participate.
The best years of college foot-
ball are yet to come. Let the glow
or a new era filled with good will,
sportsmanship, and youthful
achievement radiate out across
the nation from the leaders and
best in Ann Arbor, Mi.
Go Blue!
-Gordon M. Bennett
November 16

Support peace tax bill

To the Daily:
An idea born in Ann Arbor has
resulted in the writing of House
bill HR 4897 and Senate bill 5880.
This potential legislation known
as the World Peace Tax Fund
Bills would permit objectors to
our prodigious military expen-
ditures an opportunity to have
their taxes directed toward
savingrsather than destroving

military industrial complex. Ask
them to co-sponsor and support
the alternative that offers hope of
peace and stability in place of
moral degradation and despair.
Publicizing passage of such an
amendment to our internal
revenue legislation, world wide,
would certainly demonstrate that
we have the freedom we boast
ahanit . wuld lmal na-.4p in1


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