OPINION

A



Page 4

Tuesday, October 13, 1981

The Michigan Dgily


Morals? The

' '

can't afford 'em

A
ks

What with all this hullabaloo lately over,
Defense Intelligence Agency research, I got to
wondering just how the University decides
what research it will do and where it will invest
its money. So I went over to the Fleming Ad-
ministration Building (you know, that Mon-
drian fortress by the Cube) to see an old
acquaintance, Mr. Hi Level Administrator.
He was on the telephone as he spotted me by
the door, but waved me inside.
--
Howard
"That's right, General," he said into the
phone, "we'll have that research on the terrain
of El Salvador on your desk by Friday. I'll get
one of our geography-er, political science
profs on it right away. Just put that check in the
mail."
HE SLAMMED down the receiver, looking
disgusted. "Damn, I knew we'd regret cutting
that geography department sooner or later."
"El Salvador research?" I queried. "Do you
mind if I ask you what that was all about?"

"Oh no, not at all," Mr. Administrator piped
up. "That was General Napalmem at the
Defense Intelligence Agency in Washington.
We were just closing a deal on a little research
he wants us to do. 'Smaller but better,' you
know."
I was confused. "Smaller but better?" I
asked him. "What does research for the Defen-
se Intelligence Agency have to do with 'smaller
but better'?"
Mr. Administrator smiled and leaned back
in his chair. "It's all part of the cardinal rule of
the University's new 'smaller but better'
philosophy: Grab money from wherever you
can. The DIA has a half-million bucks in
research funds it's dying to give away, and
we're going for a chunk of it."
"BUT DON'T you worry what the DIA might
use that research for?" I asked.
"Don't be silly-it's all unclassified resear-
ch. What harm can it do?" he asked innocently.
"Besides, there's lots more money to be had.
The DIA wants research on Africa, the Middle
East, Latin America-ooohh, the possibilities
are endless."
"Do you mean to say that you'll conduct
research on any area of the world without
giving it a second thought?" I asked in
disbelief.
"Of course not," Mr. Administrator assured
me. "Why, just this morning I turned down a

request from Moammar Khadafy for research
on Israel."
"Because Khadafy is a brutal terrorist and
would use the information to attack the Jewish
state?" I asked, confident of an affirmative
reply.
"No," Mr. Administrator answered.
"Because he didn't offer enough money."
I slumped back in my chair. "So you mean
the University doesn't consider the source of a
research request?"
"That's right," he explained. "I think
Thomas Juster, director of our Institute for
Social Research, put it very succinctly two
weeks ago. Commenting on the DIA research,
he said, 'We don't make judgments on whether
the defense department is doing good things or
bad things. I wouldn't put them in a category
different from the Department of Labor, the
Department of Commerce, or the Department
of Health and Human Services.' "
I glanced at the walls of Mr. Administrator's
office, noticing the slogans pinned up
everywhere. "Cut first-think later," read one.
"Tenure is a dirty word," read another. "The
Three R's: Reduction, Recision,
Raisethetuition," was a third.
"WHAT ABOUT that slogan?" I asked, poin-
ting to a placard that read, "Morality is the last
refuge of a scoundrel."
"Oh, yes, that's my favorite," Mr. Ad-

ministrator smiled. "It expresses perfectly
what I've believed for so long. I mean, look at
all those long-hairs screaming last spring
about the University's plans to invest in Mc-
Donnell-Douglass andGeneral Dynamics. Now
those were scoundrels."
"Those long-hairs-I mean, students and
faculty members," I pointed out, "were con-
cerned because those companies are big defen-
se contractors. They didn't want to see the
University's money going to help make
weapons."
"There, that's just what I mean," Mr. Ad-
ministrator perked up. "What do they
want-we should go bankrupt? There's big
money to be made in those investments. The
long-hairs want to let morality get in the way of
that."
"NEXT HE'S going to tell me how misguided
the South African divestment protests were," I
said under my breath.
"Now take those South African divestment
protests a coupla years ago," he sailed on.
"Talk about misguided! It just so happens that
before we invest in any company that does
business in South Africa, we check to make
sure it's profitable-er, that it's fighting apartheid."
I was skeptical. "And how do you determine
that?" I asked.
"Well, for one thing," he said soberly, "We
wouldn't buy stock in any company that has

segregated lunchrooms. Nobody can say The
University of Michigan doesn't care about the
plight of South African blacks."
I DECIDED TO change the subject. "Don't
you think students and faculty members and all
the taxpayers of Michigan should have a voice
in how the University invests their money? I
mean, surely there are other profitable in-
vestments and research grants that wouldn't
require us to violate our consciences. Why
can't we set up some sort of student-faculty
review committee?"
Mr. Administrator looked perplexed. "No,
no-that just would not do. It would run con-
trary to the whole plan. You see, the students,
give us their tuition dollars and the taxpayers
give us their tax dollars in a kind of blind trust
arrangement."
"Blind trust?" I questioned.
"Yes-you give us your money and blindly
trust us to invest it."
A secretary interrupted on the intercom.
"Mr. Administrator, Mr. Watt is calling regar-
ding a research project," she said.
"Great, great-put him through," Mr. Ad-
ministrator beamed.
Witt's column appears every Tuesday.

de a tu an
Edited and managed by students at The University of Michigan


Weasel

By Robert Lence

Vol. XCII, No. 29

420 Maynard St.
Ann Arbor, Ml 48109

Editorials represent a majority opinion of the Daily's Editorial Board
ERA ratification:
We need it now

SPA I4VAWZ S.MO
DER AI&CI,
WE WANT T HELP /f
CWE~toM YUR. AD M I

ToPAY wo soME 'RsAD Y
is rE 1AMENxM C MER-0
n TODAY IS THE
TH IPRTEENTH
OF OCTOBER .

VEYGOO"
NOW "THE YA
1S t981."

1SI4 IVA DER
APRACIG

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1


HREE STATES.
Their approval is all that is
needed to ratify the Equal Rights
Amendment. It may sound simple
enough, but there's one small problem.
It has to be done within the next eight
months. And that's not so simple con-
sidering the well-orchestrated and
financed lobbying efforts of ERA foes
who would glady deny women's rights
of equal protection under the Con-
stitution.
Speaking to the 14th National Con-
vention of the National Organization
for Women Saturday, Eleanor Smeal,
that .organization's president, called
for a last ditch effort during the next
eight months to win support for the
amendment: And indeed, now is the
time, if ever it was, to hop on the band
wagon and work to pass this
legislation.
Yesterday prominent Republicans,
including Betty Ford and Helen
Milliken joined in protest denouncing
the Reagan administration's stand on
ERA. "The Great Emancipator did not

free the slaves plantation by plan-
tation," Milliken said. "We cannot
achieve equality for women one state*
at a time."
President Reagan has claimed that
there is no need for such a Con-
stitutional amendment. But even
today, women are discriminated in
their pursuit of jobs and every other
aspect of their lives. It should be clear
that if women are going to have equal
protection under the law, it must be
constitutionally mandated. Without the
support of the Constitution, women can
be left with unequal rights. The ad-
ministration's recent shift in policy
refusing to uphold affirmative action
goals should be example enough of
women being denied equal rights.
Clearly it is time to make all possible
efforts for passage of ERA. The ex-
piration date for ratification is June 30.
Equal rights must be guaranteed for
all people in the country, regardless of
sex, and it is obvious the only way this
can be accomplished is through the
Equal Rights Amendment.



PEDRO JUAN CABALLERO,
PARAGUAY - Neither powerful
Brazil nor oil-rich Mexico can
claim the fastest-growing
economy in Latin America today.
That honor belongs to Paraguay.
Paraguay exports 10 times
more coffee than it produces and
imports enough Scotch annually
to provide a full crate for every
one of its 3 million citizens. It also
"consumes' more lipstick, eye
shadow and other cosmetics than
France and Switzerland com-
bined, and supplies cars to neigh-
boring Argentina and Bolivia
without the benefit of any
domestic auto industry.
YET WHILE these statistics
suggest something illegal to most
people, in Paraguay they only
mean business as usual.
Smuggling in this landlocked
South American country is an in-
stitutionalized way of livlihood,
providing income for thousands.
Everyone, from the actual "con-
trabandista," who flies or trucks
the merchandise across the bor-
der, to the sidewalk vendor along.
the streets with his bargains on
his back, has a piece of the ac-
tion.
The success of this massive
illicit operation is never in doubt
because the government itself
serves as both manager and
protector.
PARAGUAYAN authorities
ensure that the borders with
Bolivia, Argentina, and Brazil
are lightly guarded; private and
military planes can land un-
molested in hundreds of com-
mercially strategic airstrips
throughout the country; and the
"coima," or payoff, keeps
peripherpl officials happy.
Since - an estimated half of
Paraguay's economic activity is
unrecorded, and therefore never
taxed, speculation places the
overall value of smuggling bet-
ween $600 and $2 billion a year.
In Asuncion, the nation's
capital, Mercedes-Benzes and
expensive sports cars, unhin-
dered by stop signs or traffic
lights, compete with recently
built mansions and palacial
estates as symbols of the new
wealth.
THROUGH A combination of
contraband and construction

Con traband:
Staple'.
of Paraguay's
economy
By Jack Epstein and J. H. Evans

to its president, General Alfredo
Stroessner:
Known to take a "bite" out of
all transactions, legal and other-
wise, Stroessner himself has ac-
cumulated a fortune estimated
between $500 million and $700
million. But "he is no Somoza
trying to keep it all," explained a
foreign diplomat. "He serves out
goodies to everyone and keeps
them satisfied."
THE MOST notorious of
Paraguay's frontier smuggling
centers-and said to be the
capital of contraband transpor-
tation-is Pedro Juan Caballero,
located in the northeast opposite
the Brazilian town of Ponta Pora.
The two nations are separated
here only by a wide dirt strip.
Residents from both sides cross
at any time, unmolested by
customs houses or physical
barriers, and the most common
sight along the dusty border is
horse-drawn carts carrying
goods back and forth. Less ob-
vious are the contrabandista
trucks which take more lucrative
advantage of the open door
policy, carrying tons of freight
across the border.
Brazilian sugar and coffee are
re-sacked and then shipped back
as a Paraguayan export.
Soybeans from Paraguay's fer-
tile eastern departments are so
blatantly smuggled duty-free into
Brazil that Central Band export
fiures account for little mnre

Periodically a campesino is
arrested and photographed with
his crop to demonstratehthat the
government is trying to control
such activity.
The area's once-lush forests
are being denuded by more than
62 lumber mills to provide wood
for the Brazilian market.
Theoretically every log must have a
"guia," or permit, stating its
origin and weight, but this is cir-
cumvented with alleged payoffs
to the forest service director and
inspectors.
THE EASY money is not

worry-free, however. Pedro Juan
Caballero is the homicide capital
of Paraguay. Residents, sur-
risingly; don't appear concer-
ned. "We don't worry that much
about violence," explained one
man. "It's usually between the
contrabandistas.
But corruption is so pervasive
that nothing really is immune
from the "coima."
Teen-age soldiers demand
money for candy before allowing
travelers to pass them on the
street. Customs officials subject
visa renewals to innumerable
"taxes." Policemen even request
a fee for investigating a crime.
And foreign companies win con-
tracts in accordance with the size
of their bribes, which are con-
sidered part of normal operating
procedures.
Legal recourse for such in-
cidents is practically non-
existent. Court decisions are
based on "the law of most
muscle": If you have a powerful
friend, you win.
"It is a morally debilitating in-
fluence on our people," sighed an
Asuncion political activist.
"Those who complain or don't
take advantage of a situation are
thought to be crazy."

Epstein and
this article for
Service.

Evans
Pacific

wrote
News

LETTERS TO THE DAILY:

On Shakespeare,

bowling,

and 'U' honors students

To the Daily: -
This concerns the letter written
by five honors students posing as
"regular guys" that appeared on
October 9. Their letter made fun
of Gary Schmitz's anti-honors
stance. This exemplifies the at-
titude that many honors students
have. They make a joke about
serious criticism, rather than
trying to refute it sensibly. They
blatantly ignored Schmitz's
comment that in fact attitude, not
intelligence, is the difference
between honors and non-honors
ae a-I ntc Th- en :to imni

honors students should be able to
co-exist in that medium.
A sensible letter would have
been appreciated. It would have
helped convince people that
honors should exist, rather than
emphasizing honors students'
arrogance.
College is a place where we can
all learn to deal with people, not
just learn to compete. We hope
that these students don't
represent all honors students or
Schmitz is more than justified in
his article.
In additin. we reconnize thAt*

1 \- W MWIIt /