'Black Hole' left in the void The Michigan Daily-Thursday, January 10, 1980-Page 7 Super Specials on AGFA, THE FAMOUS GERMAN PHOTOGRAPHIC PAPER By CHRISTOPHER POTTER Ann Arbor is currently graced by several sterling examples of what, for want of better terminology, I must label the Slothful Film. SFs are defined by their creators' tendency, either through subliminal inexpertise or blatant cynicism, to put all their cinematic eggs in one basket - to bank on a single element in their film to lure in the public at the expense of superfluous items like a cohesive plot, logical * haracterizations and other such nuisances. Stridently foremost among the current crop of SFs is The Black Hole, which represents the Walt Disney gang's much-ballyhooed effort to "go mainstream" - i.e., a science fiction format, a space-age budget, a PG rating instead of the customary G (A cast member gets chewed up by a robot propeller blade, earlier on a female protagonist says "damn!" It's an open uestion which constituted the more aboo offense). Sadly, this "historic metamorphosis" proves all surface veneer. For all its wizardly gadgetry, The Black Hole is nothing more than a non-animated car- toon in the hoariest Disney tradition, a slick package for the holidays guaran- teed to provide the identical aesthetic effect as a frontal lobotomy. THROUGH THE dark outer reaches Of space cruise two space ships, hur- tling ever nearer an unexpected ren- dezvous. In a lightning-quick plot ex- position (spanning about two and a half minutes), we learn that the smaller craft, the search ship Palomino, carries six humans plus an adorable robot named Vincent (complete with body lif- ted from R2D2 and British-tongued per- sonality carped from C3PO). Housed in the larger ship, the Cignuev. is Dr. Hans Reinhardt, a brilliant but eglomaniacal scientist whose craft 4isappeared on a mission into deep' space some twenty years ago. It seems Dr. Reinhardt has perched himself on the edge of his life's dream - that most quixotic and dreaded of all stellar anomalies: A black hole. To the astonishment and consternation of his new visitors, the good doctor plans to imminently plunge his ship straight in- to the unfathomable void in a quest for ruth, metaphysical knowledge, erhaps immortality. IT ALL APPEARS to be a brave and noble undertaking, yet it soon becomes evident that all is not what it seems 5x7 AGFA paper close-out specials single weight- double weight WHILE SUPPLIES LAST BROVIRA I 5x7 25 sh. No. 5, SW glossy BROVIRA III 5x7 25 sh. No. 4, DW glossy BROVIRA Ili 5x7 25 sh. No. 5, DW glossy BROVIRA I 5x7 100 sh. No. 3, SW glossy BROVIRA I 5x7 100 sh. No. 5, SW glossy BROVIRAI5x7100 sh. No. 0, SW glossy BROVIRA I 5x7 100 sh. No. 1, SW glossy BROVIRA I 5x7 100 sh. No. 0, DW glossy BROVIRA 11 5x7 100 sh. No. 3, DW glossy List Close-ovt Price $ 2.95 41.95 3.95 2.25 3.95 2.25 9.95 3.25 9.95 3.25 9.95 2.95 9.95 2.95 12.95 2.95 12.95 5.95 - --- If the technological lure of the special effects is captivating enough to lure you to a movie, you'll find Walt Disney's new production "The Black Hole" suitably astounding. Unfortunately, that's about all there is to the film. aboard the all-robot-powered c:gnus. Many of its cyborg crew carry them- selves in a disturbingly human manner, giving rise to the thought that maybe the ship's original crew didn't perish as Reinhardt said they did. Perhaps they met with a far grislier death and tran- sfiguration ... Such are the basics of a plot which, building upon such bare-bones struc- ture, could have provided a juicy measure of spine-tingling fun. Unfor- tunately, bare bones are all screen- writers Jeb Rosebrook and Gerry Day ever provide us. The Black Hole is so determinedly lame-brained that its potential for amusement is all but strangled in a kind of loose-ends sillyness. It's a shame, because a great deal (though not all) of the film's technical side is so spectacular that The Black Hole might have proved an un- forgettable experience had its writers provided just a wee bit of intellectual grist to mix it with. Sadly, the complete absence of thought and wit both cheapens the genre and cheats its audience. What's the good of staging the second coming if there's nobody around but Yogi Bear to appreciate it? ALAS, YOGI Beardom is about ps profound an aesthetic as this film ever achieves. Of course, human beings have never been Disney's strong point, and this particular crew could have A2 police investigate fraternity cat-killing a e come straigh' from a Xerox copy machine. The acting, by Maximilian Schell as the mad doctor and Anthony Perkins, Rbert Forster, Earnest Borgnine, Yette Mimieux and Joseph Bottoms a his victims-to-be, is so wretched hat every line they utter seems to lave a double entendre writ- ten into it Observe the following dinner table conersation: Schell; "If the data (pause) on my returnirg probe ship matches my com- puterizd calculations., (long pause) I shall travel where no man has dared to go. (Siiister stare at the others) Perlins (Eyes twitching nervously): "Intothe (gulp) . . . black hole?" Sclell: "In, (long pause) ... (Long- er Ouse) ... and beyond!" (Trium- phatt leer). Borgnine (long double take): "Why, that's crazy!" (pause) Hah! (snicker, roled eyeballs) Impossible!" Schell (chillingly): "Impossible' (long pause) is a word to be found in a dictionary for (longest pause) fools!" (spat out witheringly.) SUCH PROFUNDITIES abound, from the moment Schell first croons "Are you interested in black holes?" "He's as cuckoo as a Swiss clock," navigator Bottoms mutters. "That madman is heading straight for the black hole!" Borgnine shrieks. "If there's any justice at all, the black hole will be your grave!" rants Mimieux at Schell. "I Would have known he was all talk andjno uts!", observes stolid cap- ta Forster after the treacherous Borgnine attempts an abortive takeoff with the Palomino.. If this dim pageant was played stric- tly for camp merriment, The Black Hole migit have maintained a certain logical, i not ethical, consistency. Yet both the east and director Gary Nelson seem to e taking things just seriously enough to leave themselves in an aesthetic limbo so embarrassing that it may prove difficult to regard any of these performers in a serious artistic light again. Which leaves us with the special ef- fects, ut;erly alone, to carry us through this drab film. It proves an impossible assignnent, yet The Black Hole's sole wonderment lies in just how far its technical wizardry manages to remove us from our mundane world. Not sur- prisingly for Disney, the film's robots operate on an almost entirely separate plane from its humans, and come off far more effectively. A running duel between the whimsical Vincent and an evil tietallic monstrosity named Maximilian is quite enthralling, while the rest of the cyborgs carry them- selves with a charm and unpredic- tability that quite outdoes their human couiterparts. Reinhardt's ship cYgnus proves the crowning career glory of longtime Pisney artist Peter Ellenshaw - a fan- tastic multi-lit space-borne castle looking straight out of Gustav Dore's floating seaship from "The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner." Complete with Kremlin-like turrets, labyrinthian in- ner workings and a kaleidoscopic casino-tinged master control room, the c:vg num fulfills with wondrous verve one's childhood longings for a palatial never-never land. The black hole itself is conceived not as a spacious void but as a swirling, seething swarthy-red cauldron ready to swallow up wayward boys and girls. When we finally venture into the cauldron's secrets, the trip proves a mad visual spectacular, even if it also turns out to be a bit philosophically conventional. It is all quite gloriously out of this world, playing to the fullest the film medium's capacity to counteract the ordinary and the turgid. Yet consigned with us side by side on this trip are all those ruinously dull protagonists, vacuous nerds who don't deserve such a mind trip. They couldn't distinguish a supernova from a popgun if it hit them square in the face. Apostles should really be made of more metaphysical stuff, as should competent science fiction scripts. What the Disney studio has slothfully done is give us half a loaf, a half-hearted foolishness which ultimately serves neither science fiction nor motion pic- tures one interstellar whit. MASTERS AND DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY DEGREES IN NUCLEAR ENGINEERING Financial aid is available for En i- neering and Science Majors for graduate study in Nuclear Engineer- ing, Fusion, and Health Pnysics. Graduate Research and Teaching Assistantship stipends range from $5800 to $10,200 per year plus out- of-state tuition waiver. President's Fellowships for outstand- ing applicants provide a stipend of $5000 per year plus full tuition waiver. For information write: Director, School of Nuclear Engineering, Georgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta, Georgia 30332. UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN 318 S. State St., Ann Arbor-761 -2011 2755 Plymouth Road Mall, Ann Arbor-761-8690 WE'RE A PR DEALER' W a (Continued from Page 1) city attorney. "A large number of people are con- fident they know the individuals in- volved, but hearsay-third-hand infor- mation-is inadissable in court," he added. THE INCIDENT occurred Dec. 6. Several members of the fraternity cut the paws from the house pet, strung it a tree, and set the animal on fire Wecause, a house member said, it would not use the litter box. S"He was shitting all over the place and should have been removed," said one house member yesterday. "But not in that way," he hastily added. The incident has caused an -uproar. Local authorities have been plagued with phone calls, telegrams, and letters condemning the act and demanding prosecution. THE FRATERNITY is maintaining, * low profile but members voiced disapproval at the actions of some of its members. "It's the most deplorable thing I've ever seen," said one member who refused to identify himself. Because the act was committed on private property, the University does not have the authority to suspend the individuals involved. A SPOKESWOMAN for Alpha Delta chi International in Evanston, Illinois said she feels the situation has been blown out of proportion because the guilty belonged to the Greek system. "If this incident had occurred in a dorm dr apartment, this volume of ex- citement would not be generated," said Terri Eastmade, assistant executive secretary. "The bad feelings of the 1960s (towards fraternities) will be ac- centuated even more after this situation.,, A possible solution to avoid future similar incidents is the establishment of a judiciary committee on the Frater- nity Coordinating Council (FCC), ac- cording to Chris Carlsen, consultant of the University's Student Organization Activities and Programs. is preserved on Umm TMROF LR The Michigan Daily 420 Maynard Street AND Graduate Library 4~ ' , 4 W. C. FIELDS in 1940 THE BANK DICK W. C. FIELDS does his best to hold down a job but stunts as bank guard and film director leave a dry taste in his mouth. He, of course, heads for the bar of his choice to consider fuiure prospects. JAN. 11 (Fri.): Capra'sYOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU JAN. 12 (Sat.) MarxBros. in A DAY AT THE RACES JAN. 13'(Sun.): Chaplin's THE GREAT DICTATOR JAN. 14 (Mo'.): Bergman's PERSONA * Schedules now available at bookstores and Old Arch Aud. * t Book rush is never pleasant. But Ulrich's can make it better. Just hand your course list to one of Ulrich's people, and they'll get your books for you. While you're there, you can pick up your other supplies, too; It won't cost you an arm and a leg, either. Give it a try. -f CINEMA GUILD TONIGHT AT 7:00 & 9:05 Free Showing OLD. ARCH. AUD. MONDAY GREEK NIGHT ! ! Frats-Sororitios, FREE with proper I.D.