6

Page 4-Tuesday, March 18, 1980-The Michigan Daily
Cut out the middle urinals and save 'U'

The other day as I Was standing in the men's
&6m in Mason Hall, it occurred to me that the
University could save lots of money by in-
stalling only half as many urinals as they do,
since men always use every other one, no mat-
- ter how close together or far apart they-the
urinals-are. Of course, the University would
have to install something like urinals in the
blanks, or people would still use every other
one-but the plant department could make the
blanks out of styrofoam, or buy used ones and
pot connect the plumbing. It might even work if
they just drew pictures, or put up photographs
.for the blanks. I'll bet the savings would be
considerable.
I usually think while I'm in the men's rooms,
and in the midst of the leisure which detained
:i there in Mason Hall I started to think about
:00er ways to save money around here.
F erybody is conscious of economy these days.
,'esident Shapiro is an economist, and you can
sure that he's going to insist that we all
;4rn the value of money, and establish some
priorities about spending it. As Director of the
enter for the Advancement of Peripheral
:47ought, I'm ready to do my part..
4ANY DEPARTMENTS in the Univer-
i~y-the economics departme'nt among
tionm-say that they have more students than
-*ir faculty can teach. A new 1980 model
sistant professor for any of those departmen-.
-would cost about $17,000; he or she would


teach five or six courses during the year. To
satisfy all the complaining departments would
require lots of bundles of $17,000 each, I
suspect-and we probably don't have that kind
of money around. But there is an alternative
solution which I can recommend to President
Shapiro and his advisors-and it will cost only
one bundle of $17,000, and the students who live
in University housing have already agreed to
contribute it!
Next year, each student who lives in a dorm
is going to pay two dollars so that the dorm
lounges can have cable television hook-ups.
Needless to say, this installation has a high
academic priority or it never would have been
proposed by the housing office, let alone agreed
to by Jack Stegman and the Board of Regents.
In the fall, then, when many freshmen and
sophomores find themselves closed out of cour-
ses, or in classes too crowded for comfort or
learning, they will be able to go back to their
dorms and watch all the varieties of infor-
mation and entertainment a cable-connected
tube can offer! And while they're watching, we
can let them earn some academic credit so
they won't feel like they're wasting their time.
Credit can be given in film and video studies for
watching old movies, in political science for
watching the news, and in anthropology for
watching sports. Students who watch the ad-
vertisements will get credit for the behavior
modification lab, and those who pay keen at-

By Bert G. Hornback
tention to the special channel that tells the time
will get experiential credit in economics-since
"time," they say, "is money."
There is another way to make dorm living
more economical which I want to recommend.
If implemented, this little trick will help
students defray the cost of room and board and
at the same time further reduce the pressure on
an overworked faculty to actually teach them
something in exchange for tuition. It is well
known that dorms are heated to something like
98.6 degrees on the farenheit scale. This is true
everywhere, and has been since the times of
the Romans. Rather than waste all that heat, I
would like to see enterprising students en-
couraged to turn their rooms into hatcheries,
and go into business. Most dorm rooms are big
enough to raise chickens in-and what can be
earned will be more, certainly, than chicken
feed! Students who do well in this venture
should be able to get academic credit for their
work, through the LSA Business Internship
Program. I haven't checked with Dean Bar-
dwick yet, but I suspect that her office might
even be able to coordinate the purchase and
distribution of fertilized eggs.
ANOTHER WAY TO save us all money would
be to consolidate the positions of sjgn-putter-
upper and sign-taker-downer. As things stand
now, various groups hire people to plaster

multiple advertisements for everything on all
the walls and windows and doors on campus,
and the University hires other people to take-
them down. If one set of people did both jobs,
they could save us a considerable amount of
money-and could save themselves a lot of
energy, too. As they became practiced and
skilled at their work, these versatile folks could
put signs up with one hand and take them down
with the other, so that only for a split second
would the walls and windows and doors be
covered with all that offensive huckstering.
Eventually-once we got used to unlittered
plaster and glass again-they could probably
quit printing advertisements at all. Not only
would we have made more economic use of
personnel and curtailed visual pollution, we
would have saved tons of paper as well.
The hucksters among us aren't the only ones
who litter our world with signs, however. The
plant department has a new Assistant Director
in Charge of Signs, it seems, and he has
dedicated himself to making his job a busy and
important one. So far I've seen six new sign
posts-north of Mason Hall and behind the
UGLI-warning pedestrians of "truck
crossings." These signs-diamond-shaped
stereotypes of trucks, warning notices, and
posts-must have cost something like $500 each
to manufacture and install. Add to that cost the
salary of the Assistant Director in Charge of
Signs and you start to see just how much too

money
much money the University has!
Presuming as I do that University students,
faculty, and staff think-or are at least capable
of thought-I object to these truck crossi
signs, and insist that they be removed. Eve
.those of us who have no direct, first-hand ex-
perience of trucks going to and from the Mason
Hall or Graduate Library loading docks know
from our general experience of this world that
where sidewalks and driveways intersect,
vehicles often cross at counter-purposes to
pedestrians. Even the campus dogs-who seem
not to read very well-manage these intersec-
tions safely. If they can do it without the help of
signs, then-like our ancestors-so can we!
I object to those signs for aesthetic reasons,!
suppose, as much as I object that they are a
waste of money. But since nobody will listen to
a complaint about what this place looks
like-beauty is not a cultural value any more, I
fear-than I will complain on economic groun-
ds.
Maybe the best way to complain, however,
would be to take pictures of those signs and
send them to Lansing-as examples of our
having too much money to spend here.
Hmmmn. The next time I see President
Shapiro-in the men's room, at the next urin@
down but one-I'll ask his advice.
Bert G. Hornback is a professor of
English Language and Literature.

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Feiffer

Niney Years of Editorial Freedom

Vol. XC, No. 131

News Phone: 764-0552

Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan

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New budget has problems

SW ITH INFLATION raging at an
annual rate of 18 per cent, it is
nt surprising that President Carter
has decided in recent weeks to re-make
his fiscal 1981 budget. His latest
proposals, which include the largest
budget surplus in more than 30 years,
could do much to repair the ravaged
U.S. economy.
Achieving this balanced
budget-which is necessary if the
country is to pull out of its economic
tailspin-will involve sacrifices by a
number of Americans in various
interest groups. Carter said as much
on Friday when he announced his
revised budget. Of course, he failed to
mention that only in the last three
years, under his administration, has
inflation taken off with such speed.
It is terribly unfortunate that the
country must now pay for Carter's and
r Congress' mistakes. There do not
really seem to be any alternatives to
the sacrifices, however.
But there are some alternatives to
Carter's revised budget. In his haste to
come up with a solution to the inflation
problem, Carter had made two
philosophically egregious mistakes in
his new budget.
First, and most important, the.
surplus budget undercuts any unified,
rational energy plan for the country.
(In one sense, Carter cannot be blamed
y for this, because he has yet to come up
with a workable, unified, rational

energy plan which can be undercut.)
If we are to reduce our dependence
on foreign energy, then public
transportation programs and
alternative energy sources must be
expanded. Yet, Carter proposes
cutbacks in funds for both these areas.
Further, his proposed 10 cents per
gallon gas taxwill notieffectively spur,
oil conservation. Rather, it is a price
increase just high ehough to place'
significant new burdens on those
already hard-pressed to pay for
necessary fuel for their cars, and too
low to encourage the wealthy to
decrease their gas consumption.
Perhaps what is needed to equitably
spread the burden of reduced energy
supplies is a gas rationing plan. Or
perhaps a significant gas-tax plan
similar to that proposed by
presidential candidate John Anderson
would effectively deter the rich from
wasting gas.
Second, Carter's revised budget
contains no cuts in defense allocations.
It is unfortunate that Carter has
succumbed to the new Cold War mood
of the country and directed excessive
funds to defense.
Such short-sighted, hasty budget
decisions as Carter has made only
promise further problems in the
future. He may succeed in achieving a
budget surplus in 1981, but he is only
delaying the catastrophic effects of
America's energy dependence.

OF EX)( --

-9


It is a hard exam, but you are
Well prepared. You breeze
through the identifications and
the first essay.
You begin answering the final
essay question, when you
remember that your professor
made an announcement relating
to it. You cannot recall what he
said.
Trying to get your professor's
attention, you raise your hand.
It's useless. He doesn't see you
because he is busy making an an-
swer key.
With time quickly expiring, you
ask a woman sitting near you.
She explains that the professor
wants an answer that only incor-
porates the readings.
LSA-SG
Form
With that information, you
write your final essay, hand in
your blue book, and head for Ft.
Lauderdale, where you bask in
the glory of your expected
academic success.
AFTER VACATION, you are
shocked when you get back your
test. Not only do you receive a
"D," but also a note to see the
professor.
The professor tells you and the
woman who sat near you that you
both cheated during the exam,
and that he has therefore lowered
your scores 30 points. You won-
der what you can do.
What you can do is bring your
case to the LSA Academic
Judiciary. The Judiciary will
decide if you are guilty. If you
are, it will determine a penalty.
What is the Academic
Judiciary? According to the
University Bulletin it was
"established to adjudicate cases
of alleged academic misconduct
by students in the LSA College."
THE BULLETIN continues:
"The Academic Judiciary has
accepted the delegated respon-
sibility to hear charges of
academic dishonesty, to make
determinations of truth or falsiity
of ueioh harge and. if nnfir-

How to get"
out of an
academ ic jam


cases. But now students can
initiate cases on their own behalf,
to ask the Judiciary for a
judgment on whether they have
violated the Academic Code.
A student can request a hearing
when a faculty mem-
ber unilaterally accuses him or
her of academic misconduct and
levies a punishment. If the
Judiciary finds the student in-
nocent, the faculty member might
withdraw his penalty.
IF THE professor stands firm,
the student may then appeal to
the Grade Grievance Board. This
move is more likely to be suc-
cessful, since the Judiciary has
backed the student's claim. The
Board may then ask the professor
to change the contested grade.
The complaint procedure, no,
matter which- party files the
complaint, begins with filing the
charges or request with the LSA
Office of Student Academic Af-
fairs. All parties involved then
receive a copy of the complaint
and the available evidence, the
Code of Academic Conduct, and a
copy of the Judiciary's
procedures.
Next, a hearing is held before
the Judiciary. Each case is heard
by a board composed of two
faculty and two student mem-
bers. All proceedings of the case
remain confidential. The board
considers the facts and circum-
stances, decides guilt or innocen-
ce, and determines the penalty (if
any).
AT THE hearing everyone in-
volved has an opportunity, to
present evidence concerning the
case and to call or question wit-
nesses. When there is no further
testimony or questions. the par-

penalties have included letters of
reprimand placed in a student's
file, disciplinary probation,
monetary fines, reduction of
course credit; imposition of extra
hours needed for graduation,
suspension, and expulsion.
UNDER NO circumstances
does the Judiciary issue, con-
done, or recommend the assign-
ment of arbitrary grades. In fact,
in instances in which a faculty
member levies a penalty in ad-
dition to that prescribed by the
Judiciary, the Judiciary can
modify its original penalty.
Finally, if a student is found
guilty, he can appeal on
procedural grounds for a hearing

LETTERS TO THE DAILY:
Show courtesy on buses

by previously uninvolved mem-
bers of the Judiciary. An appeal
to the dean may be made only if
the punishment is suspension or
expulsion.
Students also have non-judicial
means to redress general
grievances: Students can appe
an unfair act through th'
grievance procedures
established by the department of
College; students can register a
.complaint with the College om-
budsman; and students can make
the dean of their College aware of
their complaints by contacting
the' Dean's Ear, a service
operated by the Students' Coun-
seling Office (SCO).
Students, faculty member
and administrators should know
the rules regulating academi
misconduct. For additional in-
formation visit the Office of
Student Academic Affairs.
LSA-SG Forum is a bi-
weekly column covering
significant issues addressed by
the Literary College Student
Government. This article wag
written by Bruce Brumberg, a
student member of the LSA
Academic Judiciary.

A

. ............ ...
'Jo

To the Daily:
Twice within the past three
months I have been standing on
an overcrowded bus and have
witnessed people who have
refused to voluntarily give up
their seat to a woman who was
carrying a baby in her arms or in
a baby carriage. This situation is
probably the best example of a
pervasive problem at the U of M:
students are allowing themselves
to be dehumanized by a huge,
impersonal bureaucracy. Based
on this observation, I think it is
time for everyone to carefully
examine the manner in which we

treat one another and try t
become more humane. Who
knows, if everyone becomes
more considerate of the needs of
others, life at the University may
become more bearable and even
pleasant.
In sum, let's prove that we are
still human by showing simple
courtesy and compassion towar-
ds others. And next time you see
a woman or man with a baby in
her/his arms, who has no place t-
sit, please offer her/him your
seat.
-Robert Peters
March 13


ICYRUS. WOUt.o Y17t.1
MIND IAaNts 1146
RAP FOe AN rWGR
RX .- UP

Picture caption' inaccurate

To the Daily:
Such editorial irresponsibility
n ... ..n ...fl in :. n ,tr,...

tivists. I have no objections to the/
nhntnranh nr s+ instead I am