Page 4-Wednesdiy, February 20, 1980-The Michigan Daily
Think apartment hunting is no fun? Tr

I walked to the door of the rental agency. Af-
ter months of looking, I still hadn't found a
place for September, but rumor had it there
was one more place available, and it was
owned by this company. I rapped on the door.
A portly man, weighing about 300 poun-
ds-most of which was around his waist-an-
swered. He hiked up his drooping pants.
"What you want, bo-ah?" he asked in a deep
southern drawl. He wore baggy blue pants and
a canary-yellow bowling shirt with "Clayton"
stitched across one pocket and "Landlord.
Local 721" written on the-back. His long, pudgy
fingers slid into his belt loop and, wiggling his
body, he again tried to lift up his trousers. One
t -- L4
cheek bulged grotesquely, and he chewed
loudly.
"I ... uh... 'm looking for a place to live," I
stammered. .:
"AIN'T GOT NO places," he replied. "Now
git.";;
"Yes, but I heard that ..."
"I said I ain't got no places," he said, his
voice rising with anger. "You a little late.
Shoulda looked afore Crissmus." Then he tur-
ned his head, contracted his cheeks, and
sprayed a river of tobacco juice onto. the floor.
"Don't you have anything?" ITasked.

"Can't you hear, bo-ah? I said I ain't got
nuthin'."
From the back of the office a man chortled,
"You got that place at 999 Huron." And with
that came waves of laughter from the office.
Clayton laughed uncontrollably, sounding like
a cross between an asthmatic's wheeze and a
coyote's yelp. From the corner of his mouth
oozed a thick stream of tobacco juice, which
flowed down and under his chin. With one
smooth motion he brought the back of his hand
across his mouth and down across his pantleg.
"OKAY, BO-AH, you gonna hafta wait until I
finishes up some bidness," Clayton said.
I followed him to the back of a sweltering,
stuffy room, where several men sat hovered
over a table. On the table were stacked piles of
money, and beer cans were strewn about the
room. An old man in a wheelchair, an afghan
across his lap and his head nodding as if he
were falling asleep, sat near, but not at, the
table.
I lowered myself into a dusty couch near the
door, and craned my neck to see what the men
were doing. I finally made out that they were
playing Monopoly, and Clayton had by far the
largest piles of money near him.
"Now, where was we at?" Clayton inquired.
"You just won Ann Street," replied the man
to his left.
"Oh, yeah. Hey, John, how much you want
for Tappan?"
"I'm keeping it. But I'll trade you the 500
block of Jefferson for the 300 block of
Catherine."
"YOU GOT YERSELF a deal," Clayton said.
He ttnrned to the man on his left. "Sam. I'm
'bout tb' make you the best deal you ever had.

By Nick Katsarelas
Fer $600,000, you kin buy all mah property on
South Forest."
"Are you kidding?" Sam shot back. "There's ,
some pretty rambunctious tenants on South
Forest."
"Hell," replied Clayton. "Tenants, they ain't
got no backbone. I'm a willin' to go $550,000,
and no lower."
Sam scratched his scalp, smiled, and nodded.
"Yer a gentleman, Sam. A true gentleman,"
said Clayton, as iSam handed over several
stacks of bills to Clayton.
"Well, I guess that's all there is," said Sam,
"except for Mr. Johnson's property. Clayton,
why don't you deal with him."
"Thank ya, suh," Clayton walked over to the
old man and squatted in front of him.
"Mr. Johnson! Mr. Johnson!" Clayton shook
the old man. Mr. Johnson slowly opened his.
eyes and stared at Clayton in confusion.
"MR. JOHNSON, IF you sell us all your
property on Division for $2,000, no harm will
come to your grandchildren."
Mr. Johnson screwed up his face and looked
at Clayton.
"Graham crackers?" squawked the old man.
"What graham crackers?"
Clayton turned to the men, who were smiling.
He gently removed the old man's hand from the
armrest of the wheelchair, stuck a pen into the
wrinkled palm, and closed the crooked fingers
around it. "Just sign here," Clayton said.
The old man made some scratches on the
document, and with that, Clayton rose, smiling,
and motioned forme. I followed him out the door

into an adjacent office.
"Now, you all wanted a room, that right?"
asked Clayton.
I nodded.
"I got one place left, 12-month lease, $300 a
month."
I stared at him in disbelief, and then relaxed.
"Oh, no," I explained. "You see, I'm just
looking for a one-bedroom place."
"This is one bedroom," Clayton said sharply.
HIS HANDS MOVED swiftly across a receipt
pad before him. "You wanna door with that?"
I looked incredulously. "Of course I want a
door," I said firmly.
"Extra $20 a month," he said, not looking up,
and scratched a number down. "Now, is that
with or without heat?""
"What do you mean?" I yelled. "Doesn't it
have heat?"
He smiled. "Heat not standard equipment,
bo-ah. She $60 a month." He continued. "I kin
put a 'lectrical outlet in fer cheap. No more'n
$400. Window too."
I shook my head in disbelief.
"Cleaning, extermination fees, building code
fee, whole thing gonna cost you . . ." and he
paused while he added the numbers up, "$673 a
month."
I became numb, and stared at the floor.
"WHERE ELSE YA gonna live, right?"
Clayton asked. He pulled from his drawer
several sheets of paper stapled together, which
I took to be my lease. He filled in the blanks and
turned the lease around so it was in front of me.
"Sign here," he said, pointing with the tip of
his pen.
I pulled the lease closer, and began reading
it. Clayton grabbed the lease.

I
Clayton.
"Don't be doin' that, bo-ah," he warned.
"This here's a clause," he said, pointing.
" 'Specifically says ya can't read the lease
afore signin' it." I signed it, and then began to
read. "Where is this place located?" Iasked.
"Right near campus."
"Wher ?"
"Saline."
"Saline?" I shouted. "What do you mean,
Saline?"
Clayton's gaze grew stern. "Hey, son, don't
you be a slurrin' Saline. She a damn good place
to be. They say she like Westland in parts."
I was furious. I stood up. "Sir, you are scum,
a robber baron. You are evil, vile, filth before
my feet. . ." but Clayton cut me off.
"Bo-ah, bo-ah, bo-ah," he said, waving m
off with his hands. "You got it all wrong. You
see," he said smiling, "Ya ain't got no where
else t'live." And with that he leaned back in his
chair, tilted back his head, and ejaculated a
long ,brown, beautiful arc of tobacco juice, lan-
ding with a "tink" in ,the middle of a metal
trash can.
Slowly I rose, left the office, and headed for
the door. Mr. Johnson was wheeling his way
out, too, and I stopped him.
"Mr. Johnson," I said, "how would you like
to sublet my place next year?"
"Beer?" he perked up. "Why, I'd love a beer.
I unfolded the lease, grabbed his hand, and
helped him sign in the appropriate place.
Nick Katsarelas says he can't understand
why it's okay to shop at Kresge's but not at
K-Mart's. His column appears every Wed-
nesday on this page.



U


Feiffer

Ninety Years of Editorial Freedom

wars AB5 eeof O

Vol. XC, No. 116

News Phone: 764-0552

Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan
College loans could be

students' fir
T HE RE AREN'T MANY
students who can afford to
finance the purchase of a house. Yet, if
President Carter has his way, it will be
just about as difficult for students to
afford federal education loans as home
mortgages.
Carter has proposed several drastic
changes in federally-sponsored student
loan programs that will deal severe
blows to the already black-and-blue
middle class.
At first glance, Carter's proposals.
seem little more than a typically
bureaucratic, alphabetic game. The
NDSL will become the SSL, and the
GSL will transmogrify into the BLP.
But there is much more involved
than mere letters. Currently, the
National Direct Student Loan Program
(NDSL) provides low interest loans
financed by the federal government. A'
student pays -no interest on an NDSL
until after graduation, and at that time
has ten years to pay back the loan at a
three per cent interest rate.
Carter's new Supplemental Student
Loan (SSL) would offer an interest
rate near the market ,rate, interest
would begin accruing immediately,
and repayment would begin

St mortgages
immediately. (Remember, this loan is
to pay for college, not to buy a house.)
The current Guaranteed Student
Loan Program (GSL), which provides
government-guaranteed loans
administered by banks or universities,
carries an interest rate of seven per
cent; repayment does not begin until
after graduation, and financial need is
not a prerequisite.
Carter would replace the rather
expensive GSL with a new Basic Loan
Program (BLP), which differs in one
important. respect: financial need
would have to be demonstrated to
qualify for it.
If Carter's proposed changes are
intended to reduce the financial burden
of, the federal government, they will
most certainly work. What better way
is there to discourage students from
taking out loans than to make the loans
impossible to afford? Oh, yes, we al-
most forgot. The president did make
one concession to middle class families
in his loan plans. Where students must
demonstrate financial need to qualify
for the very affordable' NDSL, this
need will not be necessary for the SSL.
A very shrewd Catch-22 on Carter's
part: any student who has financial
need cannot possibly afford the SSL.

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LETTERS TO THE DAILY:
WIQB switch ignores audience facts

1 -. .,;3 , .

To the Daily:
Often I've wondered when will
the local media in this country
realize that over 70 per cent of the
local population is under 35 and
NOT listening to local radio
stations., The biggest part of this
broadcasting tragedy is that
none of the local stations seem to
care. In 1968. I produced a
documentary for a Broadcast
Management class entitled:
"When will Ann Arbor Radio
Grow Up?" Amazing, but
true-now in 1980, twelve'years
later, it still holds water! In
progressive Ann Arbor-the
research center of the mid-
west-radio on the AM or FM
band is a far cry from being
either progressive or innovative.
Recently, WIQB(FM 102.9)
abandoned its "free-form"
album-oriented-rock (AOR) in
favor of a more "mass appeal''
soft-cock automated format.
When the station was sold for$1.2
million and TM folks came to
town, I was aware that they sold
automation packages to broad-
casters and that live voices were
about to be silenced at WIQB and
probably at its AM counterpart,
WNRS (1290). What I was not
prepared to hear was the Captain
and Tennille, followed by a pre-
recorded announce track which
said "Rock 103-Ann Arbor's
Great Music Station" followed
immediately by Debbie Brown
and "You Light Up My Life"
which was, in turn, followed by
BTO "You Ain't Seen Nothin'
Yet," Supertramp and "Take the
Long Way Home," then right into
Barry Manilow and "Two Ships
that Pass in the Night." This is
ROCK? What broadcasters
sometimes do is tend to get
greedy. Let's try and please all of
the people-all of the time. It
simply can't be done. When you
diversify beyond a certain point
you wind up pleasing an even
,.,. 11.. e.. .4 ln lc n i t

generate a profit. Profits come
from advertisers who don't want
to waste their money on radio
stations without big ratings. Big
ratings come from big audiences.
No listeners, no ratings, no
money, no staff, no radio
station-simple.
In a couple of months, WPAG-
FM, the only other commercial
FM facility in this county, will
also automate. Their new format
is slated to be very similar to the
new Rock 103 on WIQB. This one
might be creatively called "Rock
107." Management at local
stations have always been
seemingly afraid of rock formats.
WAAM was a hot Top 40 all-hits
station back in 1971, with an
image of "The New 16." It was
very successful, but too many
hands got into the works and
eventually screwed it up. WIQB,

the I. Q. and B. graphically ap-
pearing like 1.0.3., started out very
classy on March 1, 1975. Then it
slowly went out of professional
control. Because Ann . Arbor is a
"shadow-market" so close to
Detroit, it has often been thought
"why try to compete?" That at-
titude has kept local radio where
it is today.,
Just 45 miles south of here, in
Toledo, Ohio, of all places, there
is an FM station which is now the
highest rated album rocker in the
United States-WIOT (104.7)!
This station, known as FM-104, is
a far cry from "soft and
mild"-yet it has a 19.7 share of
the listening audience. WRIF has
6:2, but Detroit has more stations.
The point of all this is, simply
stated, if a station can be number
one across the board in Toledo
with the same type of music most

listened to by people under 35,
why can't it be done here?
Someday people are gong to
realize that if they want to listen
to a machine, they can pop a tape
into their cassette or 8-track
player, or put a favorite record
on their turntable. Someday lo
radio management will awa
to the fact that good business can
be generated by good program-
ming. Someday people will get
tired (if they haven't already) of
listening to a recorded announ-
cement, and someday Ann Arbor
radio might grow up. But, while
it's still acting like a child, my
dial will remain on FM-104.
-Art Vuolo,
Director, Logos
Unlimited; former
WIQB consultant
Feb. 16

Greek news is mostly good, not bad

To the Daily:
This is a letter of my concern
and disappointment with the
Michigan Daily's attitude towar-
ds the significance of Greek life
on this campus.
Portions of our Greek system
are struggling because of an
apathy exhibited by students living in
dorms. I arger hoses on campus are
able to sustain their membership by
students who have come to know
the many benefits of Greek
life-the parties, the opportunity
to meet people, lasting frien-
dships, a team spirit, education
in leadership, and an opportunity
to excell academically by taking
advantage of exam files,
libraries, and individual help
from upperclassmen.
It is my experience that there
are many, many students on this
campus who would be happy
Greeks if only the system were
cinriwrtiAbyithe vnwia_ t las

flourishes elsewhere because it is
sound both in principal and in
deed.
Presently, the social life on this
campus is in stagnation. It will
continue to get worse
everywhere, except within the
Greek system.
When Greeks flourished here at
Michigan during 'the '50s and
'60s, the Daily regularly had ar-
ticles about Greek events, IM
sports results, and philanthropic
projects. Now, however, you are
quick to print what is wrong with
our system. It's time to hear what

is right: Delta Gamma Anchor
Splash-Michigan Leader Dog
For The Blind; Lambda CW
Alpha--Basketball Marathon for
Easter Seals; Alpha Phi Sucker
Sale-American Heart Foun-
dation; Tau Kappa Ep-
silon-Coast to Coast Keg Roll for
St. Judes Children's Research
Hospital. These events are only a
few-the list goes on.
Start reporting! Greeks make
the news!
-Philip Hersey, TKE
Fraternity
Feb. 18

PIR GIMDiag assault

To the Daily:
While walking through the Diag
this morning at 10:15, I was ap-
proached by a member of
PIRGIM who was soliciting
mnnv to hl a *l ilnf 1th4I Chair nt lli -

one can feel assured that his or
her point of view will be listened
to and respected, even if the other
party does not agree with that
view. Obviously, this represen-