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Page 4-Wednesday, February 6, 1980-The MichiganDaily
A. few rules for
By Nick Katsarelas
A-former friend of mine, explaining her
conspicuous absence for our date last Saturday
evening, told me how she wound up studying at
the Graduate Library all night. After informing
her the Grad closes on Saturdays at 6:00 p.m.,
she reddened, blurted out something about being
late for work at Mr. Tony's on State Street, and
ran off.
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I contemplated this poor girl's misinformation
concerning the Grad (and about recently-closed
restaurants). She is only one of many students
who possess a wealth of questions' about
libraries. This prompted me to write a column of-
fering advice and information on the Grad,
granddaddy of University libraries.
First of all, if you want to study, go directly to
the stacks. But if you want to have a social
evening with an academic orientation, then the
reference room is the place for you. There are
certain rules of etiquette that one should observe
if one wants to "study" there:
1) Walk into the reference room looking good;
people are watching you. Your hair must be
groomed; your coat, buttoned correctly. Tidy up
in the lobby before entering.
2) Determine beforehand whether you will go
to the right or the left side of the room ; your in-
decisiveness will be noticed instantly, and people
will point and laugh.
3) Donot choose the first seat you arrive at;
you are discriminating in your taste.
4) When you finally do choose your seat,
remain standing for a pregnant moment. Look
about you and get your bearings. This also
provides the chance for your friends to locate
you when they want to come over for the quarter-
hour breaks.
5) Once you are seated, get comfortable.
Brush your hair again, push up your glasses, and
for God's sake, be certain your collars are but-
toned down. Pile your books neatly before you,
making just enough noise to distract the
surrounding people.
6) Do you have all your supplies? You should
probably have multicolored hi-liters, kleenex,
change, breath mints, pencil sharpener, time
schedple, and candy, as long as it's in an an-
noyingly-crinkly wrapper.
7) Whether you use them ornot, certain books
must be laid out for all to see. Pre-laws must
conspicuously place Gifis' Law Dictionary
before them, while Barron's Guide to Medical
Schools is a must for pre-meds.
8) Now you are ready for your break. Never
take it alone. You should go with someone,
preferably someone you haven't seen since din-
ner.
9) Every so often, loudly tap your pencil with a
calculated nervousness. Or better yet, exhale
loudly. Make sure you impinge upon the studying
rights of the angry person next to you. Loud sighs
demonstrate your frustration. But remember,
there is no ignominy in this. It just means your
work is difficult, which means your classes are
hard, which means you are pre-med, pre-law, or
pre-busines, which means you'll be making a hell
of a lot more money than the raging person next
to you, which means, essentially, "In your face if
you don't like it."
10) It is okay to take a nap. Fold your arms on
the table, and gently place your head, face down,
into them. Warning: Breathe out of your nose. If
you don't, you will snore or, worse yet, drool.
Always clean up your drool quickly.
11) You are now ready for another break.
12) Lastly, never, but never leave the library
before 10:00 p.m. "That person is giving up
early," everyone will say. You will be despised
by your colleagues and shunned from all
academic circles.
Once you have mastered these rules, you are
ready for next week's lesson: how to go to the
bathroom in the Grad without being smashed in
the face by those doors that open into each other.
Nick Katsarelas has approximately 5500
baseball cards, including seven Manny
Mota's. His humor column appears every
Wednesday on this page.
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In the .,wa caucuses, President
Carter recorded a sweeping vic-
tory over Senator Edward Ken-
nedy. His margin of victory was
so wide that the Massachusetts
senator must win big in Maine
and New Hampshire for it to
make any sense to continue his
campaign for the presidency.
Only a few months ago, Carter
was a 2.," to I underdog in Iowa, a
margin which he turned around.
Carter's handling of the Iranian.
crisis and his "get tough" policy
with the Soviet Union has tran-
sformed him, many believe, from
a politically impotent leader to a
"can do" president.
This is not the case, however.
Over the last few years the coun-
try has stumbled from one
domestic crisis to another. A 13
per cent inflation rate, 6.2 per
cent unemployment, and the
energy crisis remain critical
issues that have yet to be
adequately addressed. Part of
this blame must fall on our over-
zealous press, which has buried
our domestic problems in the
back pages to make room for
more sensational events taking
place in Iran and Afghanistan.
These international crises have
made it possible for Carter to.
avoid the rigors of the campaign
trail and have enabled him to
sidestep important domestic
questions.
YET IT HAS been 95 days and
the hostages sit in Iran. Carter
has committed U.S. troops to
stave off any aggressive Soviet
Iranian., Afghan
crises obscure
Carter's failings
By Lorenzo Benet
persuade the
Afghanistan.
Soviets to leave
move towards the Persian Gulf.
He has also said that 18-to 20-year
olds may have to register for the
draft.
With all the sounding of alarms
and posturing for war, the
president has managed to ob-
scure a few crucial facts: The
Iranian mess is largely his fault
to begin with. Furthermore, it is
Carter's fault that the Soviet in-
vasion of Afghanistan came as
such a big shock to him and his
advisors.
Carter was advised by the Cen-
tral Intelligence Agency, the
State Department, and Embassy
officials that there was a good
chance the American Embassy in
Tehran would be seized by
militants if the Shah were per-
mitted to enter the United States
for medical treatment. The
president ignored this infor-
mation and instead admitted the
Shah.
WHY DID IT never occur to
Carter to send a cancer specialist
to Mexico to examine the Shah
before clearing his entry? When
the Shah arrived, some doctors at
New York Hospital, where he was
treated, said he could have been
cared for in Mexico. They said
the seriousness of his condition
had been vastly exaggerated.
Why didn't Carter take the
precaution of ordering home the
Americans in the Embassy?
Carter clearly took an un-
necessary, foolish gamble and
lost. Let's just hope the hostages
come back alive.
Anyone who followed the
Soviet/Afghan situation might
have predicted the invasion mon-
ths -ago. In 1979 the Soviets
backed a Marxist coup that led to
the overthrow of King Daud.
Naturally, their influence in-
creased with time. When they
saw that.the new regime was in
danger of crumbling, the Soviets
stepped up their military and
economic aid. Neighboring
Pakistan and Iran were both un-
der U.S. influence; nothing would
AFTER A WHILE it became
apparent that more than Soviet
arms and ammunition would be
needed to suppress the Muslim.
insurgents, especially when'
Afghan troops under the Marxist
puppet government began defec-
ting to the rebel's side. Much to
the surprise of Carter, the Soviets
eventally rolled into Afghanistan.
One need only have read Time
or Newsweek consistently for the
last six months to come up less
surprised than Carter was at the
Afghanistan invasion. It is
frightening to think of an:
Amherican president so -naive,
about foreign affairs. One won-
ders whether Carter could have
acted with any less forsight in
failing to anticipate the Soviet in-
vasion, and in botching the
development of a well-
coordinated response.
Carter's competency on the
domestic and international fronts
leaves a lot to be desired. It is an
election year, and all the issues
must be examined completely
before the presidential election in
November.
In the near future, President
Carter will have to answer some
important questions, and it is a
good bet he is not looking forward
to it.
}
t
Lorenzo Benet covers
demics for the Daily and
assistant night editor.
Aca-
is an
Ninet vYears of Editorial Freedom
Media obsession and Carter's
luck abroad have hurt Teddy-
Vol. XC, No. 104
News Phone: 764-0552
Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan
Iran's
blackmail continues
IRAN HAS A new .president, but
this latest political voice speaks the
language of blackmail.
Bani-Sadr, elected several weeks
ago, has terribly disappointed those of
us who had hoped he would bring a
more moderate approach to attempts
to bring the American hostages back
home. He has instead reiterated the
same old position Iran has taken since
Day One.
It is not enough that the United
States withhold its sanctions against
Iran, he says. Before he will talk of the
hostages' release, he wants the U.S. to
publicly criticize its past Iran policy
and to assist in arranging the return of
the former Shah and, of course, the
money he took with him to the West.
Monetary concerns-and ridiculous
assumptions of U.S. power over the
Shah-aside, this position is clearly ex-
tortion, and must be treated as such.
While many agree that the United
States should engage itself in
discussion and evaluation of its foreign
policy dealings, particularly those with
Iran, we cannot allow ourselves to be
forced into action by threats against
our citizens. To do so would create a
dangerous precedent, signalling to any
terrorists that the U.S. will give in to
any demands if enough time passes.
We must stand as strong as the cap-
tives if we want to help them and our
country.
Bani-Sadr has said he favors ending
the exclusion of American reporters
from Iran that began last month. If the
journalists return, though, they must
make changes in their allegedly
bi;ased reporting to "give the world
public opinion the information that ac-
cords with reality," rather than infor-
mation that he claims causes inter-
national antagonism. Does this mean
that reporters would be prevented
from covering the holding of the
hostages, which has caused a world-
wide outcry against Iran? If so, the
journalists might as well not go back at
all, because they would not be allowed
to do their jobs.
The American people look forward to
the return to Iran of the U.S. press, but
not under compromising conditions.
Bani-Sadr must realize the unreality of
his own position and give all
Americans in Iran their freedom
before our two countries can begin
work on resolving any problems of the
past and building cooperation .for the
future.
Back in the golden days of autumn, during
the "Draft Kennedy" movement and before,
Ted Kennedy often articulated the need for
national health insurance, aid to the cities,
cutting the military budget, and other such
progressive reforms. The heir apparent to the
legend of Camelot was becoming the cham-
pion of America's poor, hungry, and forgotten
people.
Then came that fateful day in November,
the day Ted Kennedy became a formal can-
didate for the Presidency. In the three months
following, he has dropped 30 points in the
polls. His opponent meanwhile has risen 25
points. Kennedy's downtrend was substan-
tiated recently by Democrats in Iowa who
preferred Carter 2 to 1.
MUCH OF KENNEDY'S drop can be at-
tributed to the inevitable deflation of hyped
public expectations last fall. Journalists
looking back remark on the "myth of om-
nipotence" sustained by a lack of contact with
the man. Leading 60 to 25 in the polls, Ken-
nedy seemed untouchable..
When looked at more carefully, though,
these same polls prove deceptive. In a
Wasington Post poll Kennedy was leading the
more conservative incumbent 5 to 1 among
people who tought racial integration was
moving too fast, and 4 to 1 among people who
thought taxes should be cut even at the expen-
se of domestic programs.
At the same time the country was asked to
digest Kennedy's liberal voting record, two
major foreign policy boons were conveniently
dropped into Carter's lap. Like clockwork,
just as the milk of the Iranian cow ran dry,
the Afghan cow arrived on the scene. Carter
has hit on a political bonanza by simply
follwing the neoconservatives' "No more 'no
more Vietnams"'script.
"I AM SAYING there is an element of ex-
cess, a degree of overkill, and a double stan-
dard at work that ought to be recognized,"
says Jack Newfield of The Village Voice. The
double standard he speaks of is a suspension
of all skeptical and aggressive reporting on
the Carter Administration while at the same
time the press subjects Kennedy to the "most
By Phil Deschaine
intimate saturation scrutiny."
The most blatant example of this overkill,
says Newfield, is when Kennedy blurted out
the truth about the Shah of Iran. Kennedy was
immediately made into a traitor by nearly
every newspaper and radio and television
station. What Senator Kennedy actually said
was that the Shah had "run one of the most
violent regimes in the history of mankind,"
and that he had stolen umpteen billion dollars
from the Iranian people. Both of these facts
are confirmable. In 1975, for example, Am-
nesty International's annual report concluded
that "no country had a worse record on
human rights than Iran."
"It's possible that by expressing the
historical truth about the Shah's crimes,
Kennedy may have actually helped the
hostages," says Newfield, but the White
House and the national media have succeeded
in creating the illusion that Kennedy violated
national unity on the hostage issue.
THE MOST TRAGIC element of the
media's recent failings is their. protection of
Carter and failure to hold him in check for
campaign covenants made with voters four
years ago.
Examples of Carter's deceit:
" In '76 he promised to reduce military
spending by "about 5 to 7 billion dollars an-
nually." But even before the Soviets entered
Afghanistan, Carter announced a 4.5 per cent
increase over inflation, totalling an 18 billion
dollar increase;
. "Nuclear energy is to be used only as a
last resort," said candidate Carter four years
ago. Since then, in spite of a near catastrophe
at Three Mile Island, Carter has pushed
fission asa primary source, evidenced most
retently in his energy program and his op-
position to the proposed moratorium on new
nuclear power plants;
* Another plank in Carter's successful
wooing of progressive voters was his promise
to work toward the "elimination of nuclear
weapons from the face of the earth." In his
three years as President; the Trident nuclear
submarine, the M-X race track missile, and
the nuclear Cruise Missile have all been
pressed into development;
" Accepting the Democratic norination,
Carter said, "It is time for a nation-wide
comprehensive health program for all our
people." When Kennedy introduced just such
a health insurnace program, Carter shut it
down and submitted his own much more
limited program.
THE JUXTAPOSITION of this Kennedy ob-
session and Carter protection has led to an
imbalanced coverage by the media. The coun-
try now knows less about Carter's failed word
on nuclear power, health care, and military
spending than it does about Kennedy's sex
life.
With the first primary still weeks away,.
there remains a chance that Kennedy might
revive his sickly campaign. As yet the
American people still believe they are being
taken for a ride by the oil companies. Because
of the abuse of corporations like Exxon
or Amoco, corporate reform can become an
issue. With his record on tax reform and anti-
trust legislation, Kennedy has the only
legitimate claim to this leadership. Kennedy
should use his expertise on health and speak
to the necessity of national health care, and
he should question the safety of nuclear
power.
Despite Chappaquiddick and the can-
didate's other failings, he remains a Ken- .
nedy. And unlike Carter and the Republicans,
this Kennedy can raise his campaign above
the technicalities of political proposals and
strike the ecumenical themes of the quality of
life, national purpose, and hope. This is, after
all, the mode of politics to which Kennedy, by
virture of his name, is best suited.
Phil Deschaine is a senior majoring in
English who admits with much embar-
rassment that he voted for Carter in 1976.
for the against through selective
s that he Prohibition. Are young people fit
? Under a to die, but not to vote?
everyone The chances of creating a draf-
his or her ted standing army are also great:.,
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LETTERS TO THE DAILY:
To the Daily: Feb. 4
I am disappointed at the direc-
tion the anti-registration protest
seems tn he taking The ultra-
represent them since draft-
eligible voters make up only
about 11 per cent of their con-
stituency, hence, their vote on a
whose only excuse
atrocities he commits i
was "acting on orders"?
democratic system e
'must be responsible for1
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