A very merry untestimony to you

By KEN KELLEY
"I'M OFTEN asked why I am traveling
around setting up grand juries all over
the country. Well, when I was 13 years
old, I wanted to run away from military
school and join a circus-I already had
this great routine with whips worked out.
But the headmaster caught me and beat
me up, and said if he ever caught me
running away again he would shoot me in
my jugular vein with a crossbow.
"But now that I'm in the Justice De-
partment, Martha lets me do anything I
want, and this time I get to be the clown
and the ringmaster at the same time. It's
lovely !"
-Special litigator and chief
grand jurist Guy Goodwin, in
an unpublished interview.
WALKING into the grand jury chambers
last week was like walking into the Alice
in Wonderland wing of the 42nd Street wax
museum with the Firesign Theatre being
piped in through the air conditioning
ducts.
At a table right up front sat the Mad
Hatter, masquerading as the U.S. attor-
ney in Detroit, Ralph Guy, feverishly
scribbling down the commands (obedient
hack that he is) of the Queen of Hearts,
Guy Goodwin, who sat licking his lips
and delicately running his fingertips along
the sparkling edge of his executioner's
axe. Occasionally Goodwin summoned or
dismissed from the room the White Rab-
bit, cloaked in the guise of an assistant
Justice Department attorney.
As I strode to the giant mushroom serv-
ing as the witness chair, the Cheshire Cat,
acting as grand jury foreman, imperious-
ly inquired, "WHO are YOU?"
BEFORE I refused to answer that ques-
tion, my eyes swept up the surreal pano-
rama of the 23 members of my special
Unbirthday Party.
What to my wondering eyes should ap-
pear disguised as the grand jury but repli-
cas of all my childhood folk heroes. There
were the Seven Dwarfs, alternately snor-
ing, sneezing, twiddling thumbs, ogling,
and grumpily grimacing. Hansel was
munching on a gingerbread Hostess Twin-
kie, while Gretel sat placidly knitting a
bright pink nightcap. Jiminy Crickett
serenely poured over a crossword puzzle,
while the Three Little Pigs giggled their
way throught a game of Old Maid. Mother
Goose was sporting a new silver wig,
Uncle Remus contentedly snapped his sus-
penders, and Peter Piper pointedly pur-
sued a Playboy. Rounding out the set,
Dancer, Prancer, Donner and Blitzen ner-
vously tapped their hooves on the table.
THE STORY BOOK rudely snapped shut
as the Redhunt Queen snapped the second
question:
"Tell the grand jury every conversation
you had concerning dynamite and ex-
plosives while planning the Mayday riots,
with whom you had these conversationrs,
and what was said."
Followed by: "Tell the grand jury every
time during the month of April 1971 that
you went to the U.S. Capitol grounds, the
Senate Office Building or the House Office

e

KEN KELLEY untestifies before the federal grand jury in Detroit as Assistant U.S. Attorney General Guy Goodwin gets
upset and has a small accident.

Building, who you went there with, and the
conversations you had about bombings
there."
Followed by: "Tell the grand jury every-
thing you did, every conversation you had,
every person you met, and every place
you went since March 1, 1971."
"DOES THIS sound like a dragnet to
you?" Leonard Weinglass, people's law-
yer, asked Marc Stickgold, people's law-
yer.
It was a total charade. After each ques-
tion, Goodwin would look up and sneer,
adjust his Montgomery Ward bifocals,
and sexily run his fingers through his flaw-
less Brylcreamed grey mane (hence his
nickname "The Greyhound.")
Then the particular subpoenee (Terry
Taube, Michael Tola, Colin Neiberger,
Kathy Canada, Larry Canada, or myself)
would go through the routine of asking the
court reporter to repeat the question, go
out and state the question to the ,awyers
waiting in the anteroom (of course the
Sixth Amendment right to counsel is
hopelessly obsolete in a star chamber
grand jury), come back in and refuse to
answer, taking our Fourth Amendment
right against illegal search and seizure-
wiretap.
THE FIRST DAY they spent the whole
time running this act on Terry, while out-
side the courtroom in the halls of justice
we heeded Lenny Bruce's dictum: "In the

halls of justice the only justice is in the
halls."
About 80 sisters and brothers returned
from our noontime demonstration at Ken-
nedy Square where about 3000 assorted
freaks, honks and FBI agents witnessed
a struggling attempt to display a little
lifeculture, guerrilla theatre and rock'n'-
roll, right in the heart and heat of Mur-
der City,
It was the cast of the Wizard of Oz
re-enacting Gilbert and Sullivan - the
Munchkins lined up in arches on either
side of the witness room. As Goodwin
attempted an entrance or exit we sere-
naded him, harmonicas and kazoos blar-
ing, with "Hail to the Lord High Execu-
tioner." He stopped smiling.
THE NEXT DAY, with the downstairs
guards preventing anyone but the-six of
us from going upstairs, the federal assem-
bly line started. They ran through the
remaining five of us in less than eight
hours.
The tedium was only relieved when
Goodwin would ask a particularly in-
credible question-such as asking Larry
and Kathy about secret microfilms they
gave Fu Manchu in the Chinese embassy
in Ottawa. He then read them the law
about Espionage and Treason, threaten-
ing them with the death penalty if they
refused to answer.
The next act is up to the justice men.

Goodwin said he is going to take the
record of our Untestimony back to Wash-
ington where he and Mitchell will read
it over and decide what to do-contempt
citations, maybe an indictment or two.
IMAGINE MITCHELL pondering this
case. "We gotta make sure this ain't a
rerun of that Seale-Huggins flop, god-
damit--we gotta do this one up right."
They are probably going to need at least
a month to do it up right, according to
Ralph Guy, so until then the Psychedelic
Scapegoat Six will continue trucking
along Conspiracy Row.
Meanwhile, in that month, U.S. B-52's
will have dropped another couple thou-
sand tons of bombs on the Indochinese,
killing another couple thousand thou-
sand peasants. Nixon's shock troops will
have quelled an insurrection or two, kill-
ing a score of black people justifiable
homicide style, and maybe, just maybe,
there'll be time to plan a coup in, say,
Chile. All the world's a stage, when you're
the U.S. government.
(Editor's note: Ken Kelley is one of
six radicals subpoenaed by the federal
grand jury in Detroit to answer ques-
tions related to the March 1 bomb-
ing of the U.S. Capitol and the May-
day protests. All six have refused to
testify.)

0

E

Letters to T

HEW and 'U'
To The Daily:
"D I S C R I M I N A T I ON
cited against universities" by P.E.
Bauer, (July 71 carried some ref-
erences to the University which we
find impossible to substantiate.
Your reporter writes that $7.5
million in federal contracts were
withheld from the University
"pending development of an ad-
ministrative plan to end sex dis-
crimination."
We are aware of one contract for
$400,000 from the Agency for In-
ternational pevelopment to assist
in population planning in Nepal
which was held up when HEW's
Office of Civil Rights was not satis-
fied with the University's propos-
als for assuring equal employ-
ment opportunity, regardless of
sex.
YOUR REPORTER also writes
that the University agreed to give
women staff members "an esti-
mated total of $6 million in back
pay, retroactive to 1968, to make
up for past salary inequities." This
is a completely erroneous state-

ment with absolutely
fact.
Last December tI
committed itself to
of back wages to an
has lost wages duet
tion by the Universi
her sex, retroactive
contract signed by t
under .Executive Ord
We are now in th
reviewing personnel
certain any instance
wages due to such d
How your reporter
figure of $6 million wE
Michael Rad'
Vice Presiden
versity Relati
velopment
July 7
To The Daily:
MY WORK freque:
to other campuses wI
ten asked questions
University of Michig
University in Toroi
I was asked if the1
members of the face

lhe Daily
y no basis in "secret pacts with the United
States Government and particu-
he University larly the Military.
the payment I declined to speculate, but to
y female who answer these questions for myself,
to discrimina- I decided to attend the recent
ty because of Senate Assembly meeting where I
to . the first understood the topic of secret re-
he University search would be under discussion.
der 11246. Indeed it was freely acknowled-
ie process of ged that members of the faculty
files to as- are engaged in secret research -
es of loss of some of which has already been
iscrimination. applied to the conflict in Vietnam
arrived at a - and judging by the presence-of
e do not know. Administrators that I could re-
ock cognize, including President Flem-
nt for Uni- ming, and the fact that the As-
ons and De- sembly was in the process of ac-
cepting a favorable report on such
research by a committee that
seemingly supervises such re-
Research search, I was tempted to conclude
that secret research for the gov-
ntly takes me ernment had the approval of ad-
here I am of- ministration and faculty in gen-
about T h e eral although a small group d i d
;an. At York voice opposition to the report as
nto recently, "unacceptable."
University or -Prof. George Manupelli
clty here had Dept. of Art

420 Maynard Street, Ann Arbor, Mich.
Edited and managed by students at the
University of Michigan
Editorials printed in The Michigan Daily express the individual
opinions of the author. This must be noted in oll reprints.
Thursday, July 8, 1971 News Phone: 764-0552
NIGHT EDITOR: ALAN LENHOFF

'

Summer Editorial Staff
MARCIA ABRAMSON LARRY LEMPERT
Co-Editor Co-Editor
ROBERT CONROW... . ....Books Editor
JIM JUDKIS .. . ....... :............. ............. .Photography Editor
NIGHT EDITORS: Anita Crone, Tammy Jacobs, Alan Lenhoff, Jonathan
Miller.
AsSISTANT NIGHT EDITORS: Patricia E. Bauer, James Irwin, Christopher
Parks, Zachary Schiller.
Sutfiter Business Staff
JIM STOREY .................. .. .......Business Manager
JANET ENGL . .................... . . . . . . ........ . Display Advertising
FRAN HYMEN ............................ . . . Classified Advertising
BECKY VAN DYKE ........................... Circulation Department
BILL ABBOTT . ........ ............... ...n.. ... General Offioe Assistant
Summer Sports Staff
RICK CORNFELD . ........... ..................... ...Sports Editor
SANDI GENIS ..... ... Associate Sports Editor