Sunday, April 4 ,1976
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
Page Five
PERSPECTI'
VE
Patty
Hearst,
Inc.:
The get
rich
quick plan
By GORDON ATCHESON screaming from her Berkeley straight Billy Jack rip-off. Alli
apartment by the terrorist Sym- 1 cops and FBI men will be com-c
ACCORDING TO an article bionese Liberation Army; how Iplete pigs who kick pigeons and
that appeared in the paper she was kept in a closet for rough up Haight-Ashbury flower,
a little while ago, college grads weeks; how she converted to children for fun. It doesn't mat-
will find the 1976 job market the life of an urban guerrilla, ter that there are no moret
tighter than last year's - one robbing banks and shooting up flower children in San Fran-
of the worst on record. 1 sporting goods stores; how, she cisco-this will be a Laughlint
As a senior, I've been gazing eluded police for more than a epic of the rankest order.
at the employment prospects year; and how she was finally Similarly the SLA has to be
and the lines at the welfare captured and tried for her portrayed as a band of mis-
office. But, finally, after a good crimes. understood pacifists who, like
deal of thought, I came up withBndryoJac ifis thedls..
an answer that will make me a F SUCH TALES, gold mines Billy Jack, try to quiet the dis-
millionaire by next year's class and seven figure bank ac- out of them.
reunion. coonts are made. oto hm
It's called Patty Hearst Pro- cThe first step in the million- The movie ought to generate
ducts, Inc. dollar masterplan is to make a a voracious demand for other,
The idea is to capitalize on movie about Tania's exploits. Tania paraphenalia such as a
the Tania mania that has swept Of course, it would have to beI Monopoly-style board game or
tht country as a result of the produced and directed by Tom SLA dolls.
Hearst trial and all that has "Billy Jack" Laughlin. No one
gone before it. else is sufficiently crass to ac- For some reason, the board
Most of the story is already cept the job. game has particular fascination
legend: how Patty was dragged The whole motif has to be for me -- with its vicarious
thrills galore as Patty plays a
life-and-death keep-away con-:
test with the feds. The rules
0 would be a lot like Monopoly -
r layers moving around a board
D ES us li ge comprised of places and pitfalls!
D L I S~ *~ flg ~well known to the SLA mem-
ing one of those grand SLA but one player has been elim-
orgies. inated or one of them goes
CERTAIN CARDS -- sort of around the board 14 times -'
+ like Community Chest - representing seven years and'
would eliminate players from, the expiration of the statute of
competition. One might read 'limitations.
for example: "You were to' For the smaller tykes, the
slow going out the back door in SLA dolls will be a welcome
Los Angeles. Roast with the addition, what with their green
rest of the gang." Another might fatigues, automatic weapons
bt: "A so-called radical sports and perpetually clenched fists.
figure spills his guts to two; Needless to say, each of them
reporters from Rolling Stone. would come with a complete
Lose one turn." arsenal and counter-culture
Each complete time around wardrobe.
the board would represent half a From all of that, it's only a'
year's elapsed time. The game short step to other merchandiz-'
would continue until either all able goodies - Patty Hearst
mugs, Cinque watch fobs and
Harris hosiery. My favorite,
however, is the Tania Halloween
costume complete with tortoise
shell aviator glasses, a fuzzy
red wig and a pair of handcuffs.
IT'S MONEY, MONEY, money.
What more need be said.
Sure it's crude, vulgar and ex-
ploitive. But just look at what
the free enterprise system has
done to the Bicentennial.
Only in America.
Gordon A/Ichesn is former
Co - Editor - in - Chief of The
Daily.
Questions on
SUNDAY & MONDAY
'All You Can Eat"
PANFRIED CHICKEN
includes unlimited trips to our famous salad bar, choice of potato
or vegetable and loaves of hot home baked bread.
ADULTS . . . . $344
CHILDREN (under''! 2) * * * *1.95
(Continued from page 3 from use since last November, the identification of any ab-
should be terminated" by abor- believes the FDA will avoid the normality that exists or to de-
tion because of the possible labeling until the public outcry tect any changes in an already
damage incurred on the child's against the drug subsides. But curious cell condition.
future health. "And that I feel that may never happen. THE EXAMINATION proce-
very strongly about," he adds.E
Critical of Morley's brand of BEFORE A concerned public . dure, using the colposcope,
logic, Jan BenDor, a member brought the clamp down on is fairly simple. However, a
of the Ann Arbor Women's Cris- the MAP (which has been in doctor must go through rigor-
is Center says of doctors in use for three years now) it was ous training before he or she
general: "They put the burden given out generously by health can masterfully operate the
of proof on the patient when it centers around Ann Arbor. To- gadget and interpret what is
should be on themselves to day the only public dispenser seen. For this reason, and be-.
prove the morning after pill is of the MAP in Ann Arbor is cause they are so expensive,
safe and effective. They haven't University Hospital. colposcopes are not found in
been able to prove that unequi- The MAP must be taken with- every gynecologist's office. In
vocally yet." in 72 hours of the unprotected Ann Arbor, both University
PENDOR ALSO counters intercourse and then, only after Hospital and St. Joseph's Mercy
Morley's abortion solution a thorough screening is done to Hospital provide colposcope ex-
by protesting that "one of the determine if the pregnancy is amination services.
justifications for giving out the indeed a probability (the cir-' Lynna third year Univer-
morning after pill was for the cumstances being unprotected' sity nursing student, is a DES
moral reason in cases where intercourse at midcycle) and daughter ashare her four older
women could not accept abor- only if the woman does not ap- sisters. All having been screen-
tion as an alternative to tak-' pear to fall under any of the ed for possible adverse effects
ing the drug in the first place. potential risk categories. Fetal from fetal exposure to the syn-
Then they're (the doctors) tell- DES exposure, pregnancy al- thetic estrogen, the three young-
ing them they might have to ready in progress, and an ab- est siblings were found to have
have one anyway if they still, normal pap smear are all con- the adenosis condition. Lynn,'
get pregnant - it's ab- ditions which can exclude a w-. describing the colposcopy ex-
surd. They've talked them- man from the ranks of MAP perience as "painless and fast"
selves into their own hle." users. says, "The only thing that may
Eliot, however, rebuts both Alternatives to the MAP in- be frightening at first is if you
Morley's and BenDor's state- ' lude taking a safer but more think it's going to hurt. But if
nents arguing thatwthe syn- expensive route withaan "endo- you just relax it really doesn't";
thetic estrogen is washed out! metrial aspiration" also. known The short, red-haired Mark-
of the system so rapidly that as a "menstrual extraction" at ley resident delved into her ex-
there is little chance that traces Planned Parenthood for $75.00. perience and came up with sug-
will even be left over at the The procedure involves essen- gestions for minimizing fear in
time when DES could inflict tially "vacuuming" out the the patient. "Some people don't
its damage - when the repro- uterine lining anytime between understand at all what the pro-
ductive organs are developing the time of unprotected inter- cedure is when they go in and'
- six weeks into the pregnancy. course and the next period. that's when it gets scary. Per-
But what if the woman was Of course the option of "wait- sonally I'm very much for
carrying a child, from a pre- ing it out" and resorting to an teaching the person about sur-
vious, undetected pregnancy, early abortion for $175.00, also gical procedures and just about
who was already at that criti- at Planned Parenthood, if preg- anything medically related to
cal point of reproductive tract nancy does result, is weighed the problem so they can under-
development at the time of carefully in light of the low stand what they're getting into.
MAP exposure? probability that fertilization will DES DAUGHTERS are view-
NJEVERTHELESS, supporters occur even if intercourse oc- ed in the medical domain
tofE S clin to tecured during midcycle. not only as patients but as sub-
of DES cling to their posi et o ahrn eerhi-
tions, citing cost-benefit statis- 'THE MAP DOES tend to be sects for gathering research in-
tics in their defense. Various the most attractive of thef Fliot acknowledges the possi-
factions, usually women's alternatives to many because of bility that with the current line
health care groups, are busy its relatively low cost (any- of investigation, researchers
stimulating public pressure by where up to $45.00) and quick may reach an impasse.
disseminating news of the DES relief from anxiety. But it is "Here they're doing all this
issue, in a multi-media fashion. risky and has immediate un- colposcopy to find and identify
The task of taking the drug off pleasant side effects, including these patches of tissue but we
pharmacy shelves appears to be stomach upset. Referring to are not sure it will be useful
largely orchestrated by public rape victims, BenDor says, information," says Eliot. "This
pressure itself. "you do not need to be nau- kind of thing often happens in
Under the crack of the whip seated on top of everything.
things are happening. A bill, BenDor insists that there "is -- --
already passed by the Senate no excuse for its use in Ann
and pending in Congress, calls Arbor, even on the basis of
for a ban of DES in cattle feed' 'cost" because a special fund is Come DA
(it is used to fatten livestock), set up by the City's Anti-Rape
and restriction of the MAP to Effort for rape victims who
emergency situations only are not insurance carriers.'J nIv V
(which include incest and rape). Most medical expenses are
In addition, the Food and Drug covered by the fund.
Administration (FDA) urges In any case, -it cannot be ar- SU N DAY API
suspension of the drug's use gued that Ann Arbor lacks the
until it comes out with new resources to properly deal withA h
labeling for the DES package unwanted and problem preg- At the LA
which will recommend it be nancies. But what about the pro-
prescribed in emergency situa- visions for DES daughters? in the BA
tions only. A spokesman for the Examinations for DES daugh-
FDA press office, Edward ters are sometimes conducted
Pines, could not predict when with the aid of a "colposcoe" $1.
the labeling would finally oc- - a binocular microscope - like
cur. One gynecologist at Uni- instrument that allows the doc- Sponsored by Stude
versity Health Service, where tor to do a more in - depth vis-
the MAP has been suspended ual pelvic exam to facilitate Ann Arbor Coalition -
medical research . . . after Like bouncing from the Penn-
they've looked at thousands of sylvania farmhouse to the San
cases, if they still don't find Francisco pad, the players have
any of them changing (the ade- to watch out for highway patrol
nosis cells) they may say 'okay; officers and disgruntltd motor-
fellows, this doesn't look like cycle gangs. Or the psuedo-
a worthwhile activity. We're not Tanias might have to go to a
getting anything new out of it community health clinic to be
right now." treated for VD contracted dur-
be drawn until DES daughters,
who today fall between the ages A full Air Force ROTC schol-
of 10 and 30, orbit the entire arship. Plus $100 a month
life cycle and go through the allowance. Plus an officer's
changes in hormonal secretion commission. Plus a chal-
w h i c h accompany threshold lenging job to go to. Plus a
phases like menarche and: future with unlimited op-
menopause. While it is hypo rtunities. It's hard to beat.
thesized that cell abnormalities;Invest a few minutes of
crop up most frequently two
years after the onset of men- your future to find out the
struation, there is no way of details. Contact:
knowing what effects meno- AFROTC, North Hall, Phone
pause will have on presently 764-2403.
abnormal, benign cells.
Meanwhile gynecologists and
clinic staffers in Ann Arbor and
around the country are telling}
all women to ask their mothers:
if they had taken DES at any
time during the course of their
pregnancy. In the event some-
one is in fact a DES person
with adenosis, she can plan toj
have herself carefully checked
every six months. Most norm-
al women should, according to
most gynecologists, have a reg-
ular pap smear (cervical cell
analysis for early cancer detec-
tion) and pelvic exam once a
year.
University communities like
Ann Arbor introduce complicat-
ing circumstances into the fol-
low-up of adenosis cases. Stu-
dents, being largely transient,
don't tend to be under the care
of any one particular gynecolo-
gist and it is difficult for a doc-
tor, unfamiliar with the pa-
tient's history, to determine
by a single pap smear whether
or not abnormal cells have un-
dergone any significant change
over a period of time..
Yet the follow-up must be
taken seriously for it serves as
the only weapon against the my-
stery born of DES. Worse than
the most belligerent of animals,
it threatens to attack at any
time . . . or maybe not at all.
Served Sunday Noon 'Til 8 P.M.-Monday 5 P.M.-11 P.M.
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at the Holiday Inn West
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Bronze sculptures/photographs
APRIL 6-30
opening:
April 6, 7-9 p.m.
ZWERDLING LECTURES
GIVEN BY
DR. NAHUM M. SARNA
of BRANDEIS UNIVERSITY
MONDAY, APRIL 5-4:10 P.M.
M.L.B. LECTURE ROOM NO. 1
"THE SUPERSCRIPTIONS TO THE PSALMS
AND THE ACTIVITIES OF THE MUSICAL
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8:00 p.m. at HILLEL-1429 Hill St.
!/I'r. . tfi A ~Yhi/^B,-. --ir fnnII-T r j3Irn Ie ..Ir~i 1 1 1Ti
UNION GALLERY
First floor, Mich. Union T-F 10-6, S, S 12-6
The Christian Science Organization at the
University of Michigan would lkie to invite you
i
TOMORROW, Monday, Ap5th
A light student voter turnout can LOOSE Door-to-Door Voter Registra-
tion, Preferential Voting and the Liberal Majority on City Council.