THE MICHIGAN DAILY rts Enterta inm ent Thursday, January 8, 1976 Page Five r wr No doubt smiling for reasons other than the result of "Lucky Lady," the lu-kless crew of Stanley Donen's ill fated movie appear in the film's official artwork. TV's el e ors proves the ultimate test of friendship By JOHN BEYRLE Remember a television show' called Turn-On? Not many do. Turn-On, as the name tips off, was one of the many imitators bred by the success of Laugh- In. Spinoffs are so common in television that no matter how cheap they seem at first, the bad taste soon wears off, not unlike the loud hum in a new stereo that mysteriously "dis- appears" after a record has been playing for a while. Turn- On never made it that far. It was such a monumental turn- off that it never got past its first prime-time showing, chas- ed off the air, to the hoots of the critics, by viewer outrage. Even by 1976 standards, Turn- On was Grade A Bad Taste, due mostly to its playground - sex-, poke - cleaned - up - for 1968- TV skits and deafening artific- ial laughter. The only reason I even bother to resurrect Turn-On is that I have finally seen worse; after eight years of some pretty close competition: The Neighbors, an ABC daytime game show (2:301 p.m., channel 7). Every person in the USA should watch The Neighbors once in this, the Bi- centennial Year, because after 30 minutes of it your garbage pail will look like the Liberty Shrine in comparison. . The Neighbors, hosted by Regis Philbin (a resurrection of sorts itself), shows just how low Americans - mostly Califor-F nians - will stoop in order to' win big cash. On Let's Make a Deal, which seems to be ev- eryone's favorite show to hate, people at least expose only their own greed and pettiness: the Newlywed Game manages to keep the damage done limited to within the family. On The Neighbors, whole blocks of folks attack each other to the howls of a live audience and walk off the set with up to a thousand dollars, thank you, for their trouble. The premise of The Neigh- bors: five people who live near each other and know each oth- er well ("friends" sounds a bit foreign here) sit in a set made to look like neighboring front porches (how ABC missed the obvious back fence is a puzzle.) Working as a team, three of the neighbors make unanimous character generalizations about each of the remaining two, each of whom has a chance to guess whether the comment was meant for her or for her op- ponent. A typicA1 "round" will illus- trate: Cathy, Sharon, and Dee- Dee have agreed that one of their neighbors, Annette or Ruby, would be more likely to put the moves on a visiting TV weatherman at a neighborhood cocktail party. 4 I !i i i I 1 t t I Naturally, Annette will guess that her three neighbors are talking about Ruby (and will elaborate on just why she thinks so), while Ruby will claim that they must mean An- nette. M. C. Philbin: "Show your cards, ladies - it's An- nette!!" Poor Annette has rea- son to scowl - not only is the cat out of the bag on national TV, not only does she have a trio of real shrews for neigh- bars, but she herself has in- sulted Ruby. Worst of all, she winds up with a big goose egg on her scoreboard while Ruby picks up a nifty hundred with a chance to win more Personal sniping escalates as the show moves along, and by the close the only hope is that contestants have been searched for wea- pons before being allowed on the set. The mechanics of the show are somewhat more complicat- ed than what I've run down (mainly as concerns the hand- ing out of the cash), but I leave that for you to choke down. Al- though daytime television seems to be mainly background noise for dishwashers and steam irons, The Neighbors may raise enough eyebrows to warrant a quick yank by ABC, so if you want to see it, do it soon. If you don't want to see it, that's okay by me, too. BOATING INDUSTRY NEWS NOT BAD CHICAGO (. - John Seeger, chairman of the Boating Indus- try Assn., said that in 1974-75, sales of new boats and boating equipment again neared the $2 billion mark, but fell short by less than 5 percent of the prev- ious year. He estimatedretail sales of new boats, motors and trailers at $1.86 billion for the 1974-75 fiscal year as compared with $1.89 billion the previous year. He said his figures did not in- clude accessories. Donen's LuckyLadyAFNo such luck By JAMES VALK man. meant to be a commercial ve- because, if nothing else, it is Gene Hackman, an actoro The film itself is the story of hile that would appeal to those consistent. Although ih Rey- considerable merit when prope Last summer, somewhere off ,a crew of rum-runners that who make the blockbusters: tnat nolds-Minelli-Hackman menage ly cast, has his very preenc the coast of Guaymas, Mexico, !operated during the Prohibition, gigantic segment of the public d'trois comes off a gross mis- converted into an exercise Burt Renyolds was contemplat- seeking their fortune through that sees three or four movies calculation, the mood of :he distaste when slammed agams ng the future of his latest clandestine dealings in order to a year. film is maintained, building to the backdrop of the sexual ove movie, Lucky Lady,.ar.eThis deliver the goods. Their ven- their decision to make yet an- tones involving Ms. Minell one is working. It's geared to tures, although illegal and theo- Somewhere in the miIst of all other run. Where Reynolds comes off a make money-sort of like The retically immoral, were harm- the excitement, those in control the energetic bungler who sriar Sting-and being the crass com- less, and, like The Sting, make lost sight of their long range What causes the static in the his lines with a deviously un mercial person I am, it seemed the entire scenario a breezy potential and decided to get proceedings is the sudden de- convincing sarcasm, Hackma right to me from the beginning lighthearted caper-no one gets serious for no apparent reason. cision of the screenwriters to reeks of d ob and it got better as the people hurt, only the bad guys get the The result is the now infamous kill off Billy, the fourth mem- y oe behind ety, a got involved and the chemistry shaft. abandoned ending in which Rey- ber of the group who was evi thays onesalr op f nthe pac started working. The balance is nolds and Hackman were killed dently written in the script for This "snowballing" effect hb good. All three of us are a couple The proceedings continue on in the climax. Because the re- the exclusive purpose of being comes so lethal to the hemistr of frames out, and it makes a their whimsical way, complete sults of a test audience proved written out. Because of this of the throee characters trt ee funny combination-where two with splashy cinematographv, a that the public didn't want to bizzare juncture, it becomes of f teynord'scWaker s rnee and two make five, I hope." couple of numbers for Liza. lid see their heros done in, a new little concern that the original led s Walker b ms wit aPm "inI littlersconkeern thatig the ormidinal ichace , with his liaison wt What Reynolds didn't know a million one-liners to keep he ending was filmed in wnihending was scrapped, ,perhaps Minelli becoming so juxtapose WshatRel dHkwtempo up. But after living la everybody lives happily ever saving a bad film from becom- that it never suggests anythin was that fate, Willard Huyck, dolce vita, the trio becomes after, projecting the trio some gin worse. The fault with the I-tnarmate ss. Gloria Ktzh and Stanleyo nen restless, itching to make that twenty in the future still having script was its unmotivatedk would deal him and his co-stars next big run that would prove a grand o1' time. change ind a fatal blow. What was once !ngekindirection. Te moment It remains a mystery to m intended to be a sort of Sting the kid gets the lead in the how Donen, Katz, et al. thoug At Sea instead turned out a $12 >;...:... ...:::::«:: :;;:::: : .::.:.:. ....:..... face, the film not only loses this entire mess would actuall million headache for 20th-Cen- momentum but loses its purpose. function as a whole. Obiousl tury Fox. Whatcaus. i i the static is there perhaps some philo- intended for the mass marke turyFox rvU~a (YlI5C aue i uuE3 p~in Is her perapssom phlo-the replacement of Sgal 1l There is little doubt that high sophical message that the H m ouldmnt onegprob hopes pervaded from the con- ceedings is the sudden decision to kill screenwriters have intereced? a factor in its commercial r ception of Lucky Lady. Screen- I prey not, for the first two cts writers Huyck and Katz, the hot fthirds is merely surviving on the young duo from UCLA whol othefourth membero the superficial level of pure enter- But the audience that LucJ~ penned American Graffiti, had tainment. To try to extract some Bat seks toat wan k - tellLady seeks to attract wants t sold their script for a whopping] -y4() m 7 ired n ytteintellectual statement would be entertained, not bother $400,000. What could have been l7e(1tIe1liiy prove not only futile but f )olish. Ie cenetindte othered In conception the film isregk an interesting low-keyed, less i " fC '1 Bit the greatest paradox is escanism at its pinnacle, an commercially responsible film tet oe u i p rpos yet to come. Just after the smoot- somber endings to jovial e was instantly turned into a po- y out that would make even Peck- canades don't play big at i tential blockbuster by a stroke. inpa proud, the film reverses box office. Imagine if Robe of t e p n. f b 'ZI f) lt el2 C)I t. eca u e o th s m ah Prou , t e flm evesesitself back to the robust bhisi-Redford has shot atfl V w ria In keeping with the inflated t !iiture it becoties -of little, ness of bootlegging, thus afow-I at the end of The Sting afte scale, Liza Minelh, whose per- ing an excuse for the Arnd everything that has unfolde sona had been absent from the! . finale that amounts to nothing Sure, it would be a sh ^-k en screen for some time, was sign- (' lcer that the O Ic()11c11, R(Seiuti'Wsi more than an aquatic car chase. 'na but totally unanoopri ed along with the now bankable for the circumstances. Bnrt Reynolds and the forever ,It's almost beyond comre- adaptable George Segal. But aba iension that the original scriptWt the filmmakers hiet ;when Segal tak sick and was then did another 180 and had relie is that they mist dlive unable to fulfill his commitment, froni be orPC itii wO re.' Reynolds and Hackman bumpedto the commercial audinc a last minute panic arose to find off. Anyone who can keep a 'hat they promise, and wh a name big enough to fit the a m :::uz:::::::....................................straight face and tell me this is the crowd roars in the first ha bill. But, of course, Gene Hack- more than commercial chptrap while Liza Minelli fumhle s wi is either Gloria Katz, Willard Moltov cocktails while bein , the ultimate adventure. Yet Unfortunately, again, the Huyck, a lunatic or all m-ece. filmed through gauze, they ha when the monetary succ ss of eleventh hour effort produced better kee that grin on the the operation becomes perman- unacceptable footage (the new face when they leave th- ent rather than one-shot, the ending literally had ta'-be shot theatre, because nothing mak IIOUSTON (UPI) - Amid the morality changes. Running boze in a single day), so the version Join T Daily a bad script worse than wordo drone of cocktail conversation for cash is no longer cute- it's of Lucky Lady that was finaly Temoith, and the clinking of ice the be-greedy, it's big business. And released on Christmas Day Phone 76-DAILY jeweled woman in evening dress that gives the screenwriters an doesn't end-it stops. James Valk is The Daily stood at a brown-felt table, blew Iexcuse to reverse the rules, thus seson ed louisbnd theIjustifying a dose of hard-core In what can only be termed seasoned flounrish, bounced the bloodshed perhaps the most abrupt and dice off the end rail. uncomfortable finale in modern Whether any of the plot logis- film, the credits appear after a YOGA AND INTRODUCTION "Oh, goodie, you owe me a thousand dollars," she said to tics are substantiated becones mere exchange of no descript TO MEDITATION the oil mogul standing next to purely an issue of secondary dialogue, superimposed over her. importance. The "point" is that "highlights" of the film, a tech- REGULAR CLASSES these issues of justice or mo'al- i nique that is rarely used simpy I SAT. Jan. 10-Feb. 28: 1:00-2:30$....20.00 r EACH PLAYER begins with itv should never have been rnis- because it is the ultimate in I $2 million petrodollars tosdevel- ed in Lucky Lady. We acep t I shoddy showmanship. Nothing MON., Jan. 12-Mar. 1: 6:45-8:15 . . $20.00 op oil leases. The game's chal- the ground rules that the film 'belittles a work like recapitulat- TUES., Jan. 13-Mar. 2: 6:45-8:15 . . $20.00 lenge is to buy up the most oil proceeds on-that the trio is ing those memorable momenis, leases and make the most mon- engaged in a'n illegal and there- perhaps confessing that they i ALSO: OPEN CLASS-YOGA WORKSHOP ey within the time limit of one fore potentially dangerous busi- weren't strong enough to stand Ipresented by hour. ness. But any question of m-ral- on their own. SIDDHA YOGA DHAM itv isn't even secondary here, 902 Baldwin, Ann Arbor 994-5625 "It explains the world of it just doesn't exist. The difficulty I have with petroleum from the drilling Lucky Lady was one which ap- - - stages to the cracking and pro- The screenwriters obviously narently never dawned on either duction of industrial, pharma- knew it, as their only legitimaite the screenwriters or the direc-( ceutical and medical products," representative of actual legal tor. The "un-ending" that re- HUMPHREY BOGART in the baron said. and moral righteousness is a i mains is not the primary fault The baron said the game also coast guard captain who is little of the film-it merety adds in- TH E MA LTESE FALCON provides a high-rent form of es-more than a dime store clown. salt to injury. The tirs two-i thirds of the film is xvtcabe cape. Director Stanley Donen and tr h While George Segal chases the famous black "IN EACH depression there is oroduc Mihael Cruskoffalso bird downtown, we present the real thing. John a need for games," he said. knew what their film was about ANN ARBOR CIVIC THEATRE IONSHuston's suspenseful mystery that features o- 'There i is a need to entertain frmtesat nal-u ug U II N yourself and your friends at at a box office hit. Tnere were FOR gart as Detective Sam Spade. Also starring Mary home. no real etual nceso FOR Astor, Syndney Greenstreeet and Peter Lorre. to be resolved simply be a use T ENG T This is the Classic-and perhaps the defitative " 'Peropolis' is like a little there never was any intellectual TR Us Amican Mystepyt community with a leader and concern to start with. This wasI THOREAU SPENT -American Mystery. groups of people. It is necessary --- IN JAIL to act counter to established ha- by Lawrence & Lee FRI: Bogart &Hepburn in THE AFRICAN QUEEN bits," he said. s Jan. 7 & 8,7:30 p.m. "In the game you make the 201 MULHOLLAND *G i Tonight at OLD ARCH AUD. best deal you can - you screw (near 7th & Washinqton) 7 & 9:05 Admission $1.25 - all the people. That's the name T4, or ore ino 6672 2 of the game." Roles for 4 Women, 10 Men If r- e Of st ,r- 1. s Ps n- n 1- ce e- ry n ;S- h ed ig ne ht y y -t by kS- ky to re nd rc- ie 'rt Id. ,d- ;e to er re cn :Of th ad sir he es of ' S FOOD CORNER: Michigan style baked beans cooked 'slow' By CECILY BROWNSTONE apple, onion, corn syrup, catch- Associated Press Food Editor up, salt, mustard and pepper; cover tightly and refrigerate - When an electric slow cooker as long as 8 hours if you like. came into our kitchen, the first After beans have cooked with dish we wanted to use it for the water for the required time, was "baked" beans. A glance stir in the apple mixture. Keep over slow cooker cookbooks covered with control set at low, suggested several methods. The and continue cooking until reans following recipe gives one we are tender throughout but still found successful. Here the beans firm enough to have some bite are rinsed, turned into the slow - 10 to 12 hours. Makes about cooker and precooked in water' 2 quarts. for eight hours; other ingre- dients are added and the cooking Note: If you work away from is finished in another 10 to 12 home, you can cook the beans hours. in the water overnight aad pre- "Baked" beans cooked this pare and then refrigerate the way are tender throughout but apple mixture overnight. The next morning, add the apple still have a little bite - al mixture to the beans and let dente as Italians say. We served , c~ook while you are awa