YA-BA-DA-BA-DOOOO:
That's the most ridiculous thing lever hea

rd

By STEPHEN KURSMAN
FRED FLINTSTONE came to Ann Arbor and he says that
we're all crazy. Yes, just last week I met my old buddy
Fred on I-94. He parked his dinosaur in the bush, climbed
into my car and began chatting about the good old days as
we drove onto the State Street exit ramp.
Well, we were talking about old times and Fred seemed
oblivious to all the confusion at the Packard intersection.
But as soon as we entered my apartment building he was
blasted by many decibels of Grand Funk. Fred was got
the same after that.
I tried explaining to him that stereo were boxes full
of music and that they were for enjoyment, but he couldn't
seem to understand why anyone would sit inside to listen
to boxes full of music. As he was criticizing sound systems,

the clock , struck seven and my roommate flipped on the
tube. He looked at Barbara Walters and listened to the news,
but all Fred could see was my roommate staring at an
image on the side of a box. Fred said that it was unnatural
to watch a box full of images. Then he muttered something
about Barbara Walters, but I can't remember what.
FOR SOME REASON my alarm 'clock began to buzz.
Before I could turn it off, the water kettle began to whistle
and then the doorbell rang. Fred became exasperated. But
when I turned on the garbage disposal he really blew his
cool and left the apartment in a rage.
I was sorry that my guest was having such a bad time
but I just had to get to the graduate library, so I got my
books and left.
I found Fred on the Diag. He was lying on his back

and staring wildly at the Graduate Library. I looked at
the building myself and was inspired. It was an honor to
be a Wolverine.
"Fred," I said, "that building is filled with books. Books
from all over the world - old books, new books, fat books,
thin books."
Fred looked at me blankly and it was only then I realized
that he didn't know what books were. Nonetheless I resolved
to show off the facility. But Fred kept asking me why all
the crazy people were sitting in the tiny white rooms. I
decided that Fred wasn't academic. But maybe he'd enjoy
a football game.
{q THE NEXT DAY I took him to the MSU game. Fred
didn't understand why there was so much commotion
about getting the football from one end of, the field to the

other. When I explained about *football he asked why the
fans couldn't help move the ball. He just didn't understand.
He also had a hard time understanding the lewd and ob-
scene gestures directed toward the referee. As I tried to ex-
plain, he noticed Sparty Spartan standing by the MSU bench.
I tried to explain the enthusiasm benerated by football, but
I was getting nowhere.
As we left the stadium; we passed by an apple cider
stand. The person trying to sell the cider began to yell.
"Yummy, yummy, yummy-yummy, yummy, yummy!"
A few people turned around and bought the yummy drink,
Fred said that Ann Arbor people were ridiculous, and I be-
gan feeling a distinct embarrassment for my town.
As I drove Fred back to I-94 he was silent. fie climbed
onto his dinosaur and moved into the right lane.
"If this is education," he said, "I'd rather be ignorant!"



WAKE UP
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Eighty-Seven Years of Editorial Freedom
420 Maynard St., Ann Arbor, Ml 48169

Wednesday, November 3, 1976

News Phone: 764-0552

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Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan
The Great Election is over
and the' Silly Season begins

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a-
By Tom Stevens


THE GREAT ELECTION of '76, the
Buy - Centennial election, the
Election to Shake the Earth, is over.
Millions of unpaid volunteer cam- .
paigners out there are feeling a great
void in their lives. But nature abhors
a vacuum, and so everyone is rush-
ing out like had, trying to find
something that will take the place
of all that frenzied activity.
Newsweek, that cultural barometer
of America, is leading the way with
this week's cover article, "The Disco
Whirl." Leave it to Newsweek to tap
the pulse of. a beating country's
heart.
We feel that the time for serious-
ness is, temporarily, past, and in the
tradition, we are giving you today's

Ralph's Unit
I
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verse

I


WOULXB sow UP!
IL A*
S..

I

A~I !tit-/o REr
Troas It ~AERA)Sc)L
CANS IN 71AE
WAeTASKE;

Rob Meachumn

Editorial Staff
Co-Editors-in-Chief

Bill Turque

Editorial page, which consists of
neither more, nor less than non-
sense.
THE ONE PUZZLING thing, how-
ever, is that Newsweek put out Its
nonsense issue the day before the
election. Could this be a signal? Are
campaigns beginning to end sooner?
Can we-dare we - hope that
the hoopla will cease earlier in the
future? Since campaigns now begin
two years ahead of, the election, and
eigryone is dead tired of them by
November, perhaps we can shorten
them again by ending them the Feb-
ruary of each election year, It's not
too much to hope for.
Well, that's really off the subject,
which is that light mood we're going
to let ourselves drift off into. For
you diehard partypoops who love poli-
tics and that sort of thing, there's
always next April and the municipal
Ann Arbor elections to look forward
to.,
In any case, on with the show.
Ladies an~d gents, Tate Daily's Editor-
ial Page!
TODAY'S STAFF:
News: City Desk : Bill Turque, Ann
Marie Lipinski, Rob Meachum, Jeff
Ristine, Margaret Yao, Susan Ades,
Tim Schick, Mike Norton, Ken Par-
sigion, Jay Levin, Karen Krebs, Lani
Jordan, Lois Josimovich; Stu Mc-
Connell, Laurie Young, Jenny Mil-
ler, Barb Zahs. County Building:
Bob Rosenbaum. City Democratic
Headouarters: George Lobsenz. City
Republican Headquarters: Elaine
Fletcher. Detroit Riegle Headquar-
ters: Phillip Bokovoy. Dearborn
Esch Headquarters: Jim Tobin.
Plains, Georgia Bureau: Rob Meach-
u m.
Editorial Page: Michael Beckman;
Steve Kursman, Rob Meachum, Jeff
Selbst
Arts Page: Lois Josimovich
Photographers: Detroit Riegle Head-
auarters: Pauline Lubens. Dearbcrn
Esch -leadquarters: Scott Eccker.
City Democratic Headquarters:
Chris Schneider. City Republican
Headquarters: Bran Benjamin.

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graffiti Renaissance:

Jeff Ristine. .... . Managing Editor
Tim Schick................Executive Editor
Stephen Hersh ............ Magazine Editor
Rob Meachum . . ... Editorial Director
Lois Josimovich Arts Editor
STAFF WRITERS: Susan Ades, Susan Barry.
Dana Baumann, Michael- Beckman, Philip Bo-
kovoy, Jodi Dimick, Chris )yhdale, Elaine
Fletcher, Larry Frisks, Debra Gale, Tom Go-
dell, Eric Gressman, Kurt Harju, Char Heeg.
James Hynes, Michael Jones, Lani Jordan.
Lois Josimovich, Joanne Kaufman, David
Keeps, Steve Kursman, Jay Levin, Ann Marie
Lipinski, George Lobsenz, Pauline TLubens, Stu
CcConneli, Jennifer Miller. Michael Norton,
Jon Panslus, Ken Parsigtan, Karen Paul,
Stephen Pickover, Christopher Potter, Ion
Rose, Lucy Saunders, Annemarie Schiavi, Kar-
en Schulkins, Jeffrey Selbst, Jim Shahin, Rick
Sable, Tom Stevens, Jim Sttmson, David
Strauss, Mike Taylor, Jim Tobin, Loran walker,
Laurie Young. Barbara Zahs.
Photography Staff

Restroom Renoirs

rule

rostrum

By STU McCONNELL
F READ, recently that New
York City's program of
supplying youths with "graffiti
walls" - specific areas for
street poets and artists to ex-
press themselves without de-
facing public edifices - has
been relatively unsuccessful.
The aerosol kings, it seems,
wouldn't be contained on a wall
or two. Well, what did they ex-
pect? Graffiti is more than just
"art" (or whatever vague so-
cial value the Gotham City
fathers rationalized their pro-
gram under)-it is also politics,
protest and a driving search
for identity exemplified by such
scrawls as "I WAS HERE."
Kids who spray-paint their
names on cement underpasses
in the cities have a basic need
for identity. College students for
the most part have their iden-
tities straightened out - iden-
tity lies with parents, the school
and he career afterward.
Consequently c oll e g i a n s
busy themselves with more
complex hangups which are -
at least to other college stu-
dents-more interesting. Where
anyone else writes "FUCK

YOU" in the elevator, the col-
legiate type writes "FUCK
ME" and leaves spaces for
phone numbers.
Although this University
spends about $5,800 annually to
keep its walls, bathrooms and
stairwells clean, graffiti still has
its showpieces on campus; the
Graduate Library, the Physics
and Astronomy Building, and
most dorms - most notably
East Quad and Alice Lloyd.
It is a rare student who has
never read the graffiti on the
walls on the way to class.
University graffiti takes many
forms. The most common basis
is personal invective between
two anonymous combatants, be-
coming less deft and more ob-
scene as the adversaries pro-
ceed down the wall and onto
the floorboards. My personal
favorite is a scrawl which
adorns one of the P&A's first
floor stairwells. It is the ulti-
mate in insult, turning the
enemy's self on himself.
"GOYNKE," is says, "IS A
GOYNXE."
IF PERSONAL insult is the
primary basis for graffiti, oli,
tics must certainly rank a ose
second. Some of it is simply
political insult ("NIXON SAW'
DEEP THROAT T H R E E

TIMES SO HE COULD GET IT
DOWN PAT"), some is politi-
cal apathy ("FORD IS CAR-
TER"); some is semantic ("IF
SQUEAKY HADN'T BEEN SO
FREAKY, WE'D HAVE A
FULL NELSON, NOT
A HALF").
But it is all protest. One does
not find "Vote Democratic" slo-
gans - nice people use the bal-
lot box, not the public wash-
room. Because graffiti is rebel-
ion its politics are either those
of the radical left ("RESIST
KISSINGER AND ALL MUR-
DERERS") or the reactionary
right (KILL FAGGOTS").
I never cared much for po-
litical graffiti because it seems
forced. It is a deliberate at-
tempt to be socially relevant,
profound, or whatever graffiti is
supposed to be.,I prefer scrawls
that come straight from the
heart, like "BOMB TOLEDO
NOW."
Political graffiti also tends
to infuse a serious tone into
what is essentially a light-
hearted enterprise. There is a
Star Trek cult which makes
rude jokes about Klingons.
There are physics and engineer-
ing students who write out what
must be hilarious equations and
scientific jokes. There are
freaks, whe scribble "JESUS

SAVES ROACHES" or "ANTI-
GRAVITY NOW!"
An example of how "serious"
graffiti is corrupted is a stair-
well in the Frieze Building. Or-
iginally graced with the grim
leftist slogan "RESIST FAS-
CISM," it now reads " RESIST
ANTIPASCISMILESIONIST-
SER".
A NOTHER crucial element
of graffiti is a revulsion
against technology and bureau-
cracy ° in its most accessible
form = usually a soda machine
labeled "ORANGE NO WOR-
KEE" or a "waste-free" hot
air dryer which bears the in-
scription "WHAT A B 0 U T
ENERGY?" Hand dryers are
favorite targets of graffiti ar-
tists because they are in ,bath-
rooms, traditional graffiti sanc-
tuaries. After the three steps
-push button; rub hands gently
under warm air; shuts off auto-
.matically - one' is likely to
find a fourth - "WIPE HANDS
OFF ON PANTS."
Anyone who can read the
writing on the wall can tell that
Letters should be typed
and limited to 400 words.
The Daily reserves the
right to edit letters for
length and grammar.

ideas like the "griffiti wall" are
intrinsic failures because they
attempt to turn an outlet of
whimsy and outrage into a pub-
lie works project. When I lived
in South Quad two years ago,
the rest room on my hall had
acquired only a smattering of
graffiti before it was scrubbed
clean. The first scrawl to deco-
rate the newly purified institu-
tional green wall was "FUCK
THE CLEANING LADY".

Pauline Lubens ... ......Chief
Brad Benjamin. .......Staff
Aan Bilifski.Staff
Scott Eccker.........Staff
Andy Freeberg Staff
Christina Schneider.........Staff
Business Staff

Photographer
Photographer
Photographer
Photographer
Photographer
Photographer

Beth Friedman Business Manager
Deborah Dreyfuss Operations Manager
Kathleen Muliern Assistant Adv. Coordinator
David Harlan.................Finance Manager
Don Simpson...................Sales Manager
Pete Peterson...........Advertising Coordinator
Cassie St. Clair ....Circulation Manager
Beth Strat lord.......Circulation Director


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Stu McConnel is the
graffiti artist of The
rest room.

premier
Daily's

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Something light after election
madness: A short trivia quiz

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