October 8, 1977--The Michigan Daily
Eighty-Eight Years of Editorial Freedom
420 Maynard St., Ann Arbor, MI 48109
/oI. LXXXVlII, No. 27 News Phor
Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan
ne: 764-0552
lI
Some roses, some thorns
ship residents being required to reveal
/1 urrav an a their votes for mayor in last April's
he miess
HOUGH THE DUST has barely be-
gun to settle over City Hall this
eek, it appears that the personnel
hake-up is justified. In the wake of a
ighly questionable investment deal
iade by two city financial officials,
rd a subsequent cover-up, it seems
lear that City Administrator Sylves-
r Murray has taken the proper action
>start clearing up the mess.
City accountant Marc Levin was
red and assistant controller Steven
:endel was temporarily demoted.
evin's boss, Lauren Jedele, resigned
>r physical reasons that he said re-
ilted from stress over the controver-
Regardless of the obviously dubious
ature of the "arbitrage" investment,
is clear that Levin tried to cover up
ie whole matter when it was apparent
hat the city was bound to lose over $1
pillion because of it.
The facts of the entire affair are not
11 certain, but Levin, at least, was
uite clearly quilty of misconduct. The
ear disaster demands a full accoun-
ng, and it appears that Murray has
aken the appropriate first steps.
W LUdefense
It's no surprise, but the Michigan
imerican Civil Liberties Union
ACLU) deserves congratulations for
imping to the defense of the 20 town-
election.
Their constitutional rights seem
patently clear. The possibility of their
being sent to jail for the mistakes of
whomever told them they were elig-
ible to vote in the city election is abom-
inable. We hope the ACLU lawyers ac-
quire just treatment for them immedi-
ately.
*
*
*
Thanks
anyway,
Perry
The Book of Wapy and Ayk
Our own Rep. Perry Bullard not-
withstanding, the Michigan House of
Representatives this week came down
firmly against liberalization of the
state's marijuana laws. Bullard, for
years an articulate advocate of de-
creased penalties for possession of pot,
led the fight to eliminate jail terms for
possession and nearly won. But the op-
position squeaked by with a three-vote
margin.
The arguments against Bullard's
bill were those archaic standards
which have been peddled around and
around for years - namely: that a
reduction in penalties for marijuanaj
will inevitably lead the pink-cheeked
youngster to hard drug addiction. Not'
quite so inevitable, perhaps, as knee-
jerk conservative reaction when a
marijuana bill hits the floor of a state
legislature.
Jl I Nth'' 4 BtLLV cARr' CNce 'w*u.s . c oti4o .c ou~n
SHOULCG EEt4
KNEE- NIGH
BY NOWYV/
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By JEFFREY SELBST
O NCE IN A FAR-OFF land called
America (no one alive remembered
how it came by that rather quaint name),
there lived two men, named Wapy and
Ayk. They were of a profession known, in
the fashion of the time, as "elder-stud-
iers," but they preferred the term "arch-
aeologist."
The major thinking in the field of elder-
studying was at the time seriously split:
the question - was there or was there not
a society, cultured, civilized, whatever -
before the Great Catastrophe?
THE THEOLOGIANS of the day be-
lieved that there had been people on the
Earth once; but that God had chosen to
punish them by delivering unto them the
Great Catastrophe, which was supposed to
have been a rainfall on enormous propor-
tions. Two people, and a few animals, were
reputed to have escaped in a vessel, which
the religious leaders termed the "Ark."
And thus, they said, did we get our be-
ginning.
Wapy and Ayk believed that there was a
flourishing civilization before the Catas-
trophe, and organized expeditions to dig up
much of the planet to (this was their hope)
uncover relics of a society whose ways
were foreign to them.
Lately, some proof-was beginning to sur-
face. Scientists had checked radiation lev-
els, carbon-dated certain rocks, and de-
termined that the Catastrophe was in re-
ality a nuclear eruption of mammoth pro-
portions, and the resulting fallout had
killed everything alive, and destroyed
most of the tangible artifacts.
THESE SCIENTISTS published (their
findings; public reaction was all outrage.
"Against God and nature!" cried the
churches. "The raving of unsound min-
ds!' cried the teachers.
But Wapy and Ayk were not so sure.
Again and again they drove themselves to
new sites, new "digs." Until one day, in a
cave in the mountains of the eastern part
of America, they found stone jars sealed
with paraffin.
Excited they were, amazed and ec-
static! For when they opened the jars, they
discovered scrolls, written in a strange
hieroglyphic. "Here it is!" cried Ayk.
"The proof we have sought! The chroni-
cle of a lost people!" Ayk and Wapy em-
braced each other and wept.
THEY RETURNED with the scrolls to
the laboratory, and gave them to the ex-
pert linguists, Rosetta and Stone. Rosetta
set to work immediately, though Stone
was against the project. "Waste of time,"
he scoffed. "Foolish."
Rosetta broke the code in a week's time,
and laboriously translated the message
contained therein. She gave it to Wapy,
who read it with transcendent delight.
Naturally, the contents of the scroll had
to be made known to the citizens of the
country, and full accounts were published
by the newspapers. Headlines screamed:
SCROLLS UNCOVERED! LINK FOUND
TO WORLD BEFORE CATASTROPHE!
FOR WEEKS, as the world outside could
speak of nothing else, and cocktail party
chatter wore thin with repetition; Wapy
and Ayk pondered the significance of the
strange words that were written on the
Scrolls.
A reporter made his way up to Wapy one
day, as he was taking his lunch break, and
shoved a microphone into his face. "Would
you care to comment, sir?"
"It seems to me," said the scholarly
Wapy with care, "that we have uncov-
ered the religious roots of the society that
pre-existed our own."
"Would you care to elaborate?" he was
asked.
"CERTAINLY. There appears to have
been a series of gods, known as Carol, Jay,
and Monty, Carol and Jay being the lesser
deities. There was a ritual in which people
had to dress up in vegetable costumes, and
they traded idols."'
"Idols, sir?"
"Items of real and presumed value to
this people, that's what I'm referring to.
They traded goats, high-chairs, many,
many cases of soy sauce, and other such
essential items."
"What else?"
"WELL, AS A people they were a para-
dox. They were highly competitive - high-
ly! - so much so that the audiences who
watched these rituals daily, and once a
week in the evening, would work up intoa
frenzy and scream and shout as each idol:
was traded for one larger. The traders
themselves were powered by a sort of -
well, avaricious ecstasy. The more they
acquired, the more they glorified Monty,
so the harder they tried."
"And the paradox?"
"The paradox," smiled Wapy, "is that
the entire ritual appears to have been vol-
untary."
The reporter gasped.
"Yes," continued the venerable arch-
aeologist, "the society seems to have fos-
tered a religion which was not compul-
sory, suggested by the name of the ritual,
formed in grammar which suggests but
does not command. Hence, Let's Make A
Deal, rather than, for instance, Thou Must
Make A Deal."
"THESE CONCLUSIONS you draw --
all from these scrolls, doctor!" the re-
porter said, beside himself. "Why, it opens
a window onto another world."
"Yes - and at times a cruel one. For you
see, if they had angered Monty, then when
they traded in their idols for better idols,
he would give them nothing in return.
Monty was great - yes, but Monty was
terrible."
The reporter thanked Wapy, and con-
cluded the interview.
Wapy's remarks were spread across the
front page of every newspaper in the
world. Wapy and Ayk became successful
and famous, and immensely wealthy.
They wrote a book, which sold lots and lots
of copies. They appeared on talk shows,
and did lectures, and went to hundreds and
- hundreds of cocktail parties.
ONE DAY, a little man approached
'Wapy on the street. "Are you the great
scientist Wapy, the archaeologist?"
"No," said the disillusioned old man.
"You lie," twinkled the stranger. "I
know the truth."
"Yes," signed Wapy, "but I am sooo
tired. Tired of my fame."
"Tired of your fortune?"
"Tired of my fortune."
"Would you like to get rid of it?"
"I'd like to trade it away - for peace -
for happiness -"
Wapy shrunk back. The twinkle had
disappeared from the stranger's face.
Suddenly he flashed his fangs.
"For what's behind door number
three?" snarled the stranger.
"It's - it's -"
"It's Monty!" snarled the old man, and
he grinned evilly.
It was over.
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Jeffrey Selbst
Daily's arts page.
is editor of The
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A flaw in the
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RTT TNTFC STA FF
Preoccupied with the normal
problems of mating, most people
seldom think about homosexuali-
ty. But sometimes they're forced
to think about it.
That's what happened when the
Supreme Court refused on Oc-
tober 3 to hear the appeal of
James Gaylord, a Tacoma,
Washington high school teacher
who was dismissed from his
teaching job in 1972 after admit-
ting to school officials that he was
a homosexual. Gaylord's pri-
mary contention was that his fir-
ing violated his constitutional
right to equal protection under
the law.
SO THE EARLIER decision of
the Washington Supreme Court,
which held that Gaylord's homo-
sexuatisty was sufficient arensr
peals of the same sort will not be
considered. In this case, it
probably means that the court
did not think it timely to decide
the matter - just as it refused to
hear abortion cases in the later
1960s.
Sooner or later, however, the
court will have to come to grips
with the issue. And when it does,
the decision will be more com-
gay rig
had any choice in the matter.
Hence the case involved freedom
of association. The children were
compelled by law to associate
with a man whose behavior under
state law was, according to the
Washington Supreme Court, im-
moral. If Gaylord had been a no-
torious libertine or shoe fetishist,
the court might well have ap-
proved his dismissal on those
hts line
great majority of American
people consider homosexuality
an immoral, abnormal, and devi=
ant condition, which may pro-
duce undesirable effects on close
associates. Under conditions of
forced association, such as in
schools or the military forces,
homosexuals may be dismissed:
from their positions. In cases in-,
volving'a more moderate degree
of association - the engineer or
truck driver, for example - dis-
missal may not be justified.
A common flaw in gay rights
thinking is to compare the homo-.
sexual's condition to that of a
black, woman, or, for example,
Roman Catholic. This is patently
foolish. Being black or a woman
is a matter of physical state.;
Being a Roman Catholic is a mat-
RIGHT ANGLE
by CHUCK ANESI
Alex than most gay rights advo-
grounds.