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Page 8-Saturday, April 1, 1978-The Michigan Daily


WOMEN'S AD TAKES OVER:

Daily Classifieds

Ocker replaces Canham

(Continued from Page 6)
SPACIOUS MODERN APARTMENT
Sublet, Spring-Summer. 2 bedrooms, living room,
kitchen, basement, laundry, parking, fully fur-
nished. Location: 1016 Church. Rent: $142.50 (per
person). Interested: call Lewis, 665-6638. 79U412
BEAT THE HEAT-2-bedroom apartment with
pool, a/c, near campus. May-Aug. 662-6029. 18U404
SUMMER: FALL OPTION. Inexpensive single in
3-bedroom. 665-4919. 06U401
SUBLET-SUNNY ROOMS in house, near cam-
pus/near Arb. 4 rooms for Spring/Summer; 2
rooms for Summer. Washer/Dryer/Refrigerator on
every floor. $75 per month. Call 662-4257. 00U403
LARGE ROOM in 5 person house. Church & Hill-
very cool. May-Aug. Call Kyle, 662-4877. 09U404
1 ROOM TO SUBLET in 2-bdrm. bi-level apt. A/C,
garbage disp., balcony, good loc. 995-2937. 07U402
SUBLET MAY-AUGUST. Tri-level 3 bedrooms, 11-
baths. Air cond., dishwasher, garbage disposal.
Excellent campus location behind P & A. Free
parking. Rent negotiable. 663-9656. 93U404
MAY-AUGUST. MALES to share 3-bedroom apart-
'ment next to Bagel Factory. A/C, 2 balconies,,
parking, furnished. Call after 6, 995-4954. 92U406
SUBLET-ROOM FOR GRAD, working person in 5
adult house, near Arb, lotsa windows, excellent
location, good people, private. 769-0798. 17U405
SUMMER IN CO-OPS-2, 3, 4 month contracts for
single room with meals. Contact Inter-Go-operalie
Council..4002 Michigan Union. 662-44i. 14U401
LARGE I BEDROOM Apartment for Spring-Sum-
mer Sublet. Airy, spacious old house in residential
area. 668-8406 after 5 p.m. 69U402
SPRING/SUMMER Sublet-2 bdrm. apt. A/C, dish-
washer, laundry, great furniture. Close to Arb,
CCRB, campus. Rent negotiable. 1333 Wilmot, A-1;
663-260j . 72U404
MAY-AUGUST SUBLET-One bloc from campus.
CCRI across the street. A/C. Rent negotiable. Call
Greg: 665-7778. dU404
SPRING/SUMMER Sublet-One bedroom available
in furnished house. LOCATED 7 min. from Campus.
Price negotiable. Call Gina, 995-0786. 73U412
Campus Area
Sublet Service
A free service to assist
our tenants
Complete selection of furnished summer apartments
from one to five bedrooms in modern bldgs. and
older houses. Central Campus and Medical Center
locations.
stop by or call:
Campus Rentals
1335 S. University
665-8825
culte

I BEDROOM FURNISHED APT, 1 min. from Diag,
parking, laundry, Fall option. Rent negotiable. Eves.
663-4967. 34U401
MAY-AUGUST-Large 3 bedroom, 12 bath, fur-
nished, 2 minutes to campus. Across from CCRB.
Reasonable. Call anytime. 663-1832. 42U401
SPRING/SUMMER-5sbedroom house located 1
block south of Law Quad. Furnished.2 full baths,
parking, fireplace. Will consider a group or indi-
vidua ls. Call 764-8754 or 764-8759. 68U404
SUBLET
May-August-2 bedrooms plus den. Furnished.
Fireplace, parking, laundry. 663-2603. 78U402
' HERITAGE-HOUSE APARTMENTS-May-August.
Modern two bedrooms, inexpensive, furnished, air-
conditioning, parking. 995-2810. 45U401
CAMPUS EFFICIENCY for Spring-Summer sublet.
$180 a month. 663-5463. 63U401
MAY-AU'GUST SUBLET-One block from campus.
Across the street from CCRB. A/C, dishwasher.
Rent negotiable. Call 995-2954!! dU404
BEAUTIFUL OLDER 4-5 Bedroom House. Available
May-August. Fireplace, sunporch, dishwasher.
995-8919. 668-8701. 67U405
MODERN 2 PERSON apartment to sublet. May-
Aug. Nicely furnished, carpeted, air-conditioning,
balcony, close to campus. Rent negotiable. Call
Paula or Nancy, 665-4500. 62U401
MUSICA L MDSE.,
 DIOS, R.EAa
, IRS
FENDER TELECASTOR with maple neck and hard
case. Apollo Music Center,323 S. Main. pcXtc
PIONEER Centrex Stereo, receiver, turntable.
cassette deck, speakers. Only 6 months old. Must
sell-$300. Call Ron.995-3147. 81X404
USED MARTIN, good shape. Call Don, 761-9431.
USED GRAND PIANO. good shape and soun.
Apollo Music Center; 769-1400. cXtc

LIBELS JOIN MAC!
By BYE BLACKBIRD
The world-famous undefeated Daily Libels, who finished number one in the
nation in the final AP polls in both football and basketball, were today admitted to
the Mid-American Conference (MAC), replacing Ball State.
The Libels will be entered as a varsity sport in football, basketball, baseball
and volleyball.,
Paul Barton Campbell, coach of the Libels, responded to the announcement
with enthusiasm. "Ball State sucks, anyway," Campbell said. "What a name for a
team ...Ball State,"
Alex Agase, athletic director at Eastern Michigan, said the announcement
came as no surprise. "We always knew they were good," Agase said. "We had a
scout at their Ohio State Lantern game (which the Libels won, 38-0), and they were
just awesome."
The Libels will play their home basketball and volleyball games in the
basement of Waterman Gym, and their softball and football contests will be held in
the Mud Bowl.
* * * -
WINGS AX LINDSA Y
DETROIT - Burdened by continual crowd control problems and complaints
from the Detroit police force, the Detroit Red Wings fired General Manager Ted
Lindsay yesterday and replaced him with former GM Ned Harkness.
The move was made in response to a scathing blast to the Wings from the
Detroit Police Officers Association (DPOA), blaming hockey traffic at Olympia
for causing massive traffic jams and other problems caused by rowdy fans who
are pleased at the upturn in Detroit's hockey fortunes.
"There were no problems when Harkness was GM," said Wing's owner Bruce
Norris. "The crowds were docile and small and it freed the police for fighting
crime elsewhere. Now they're wasting time directing traffic at Olympia.
Harkness took over? immediately, and in his first move he traded the entire
team to Los Angeles for Marcel Dionne and the negotiating rights to former Wing
Tom Webster.
The Wings' Kansas City farm club will be brought up to fill in the newly
vacated positions.
-HOWIE MEEKER

By YUVKUM A. LONGWAY
Following the astounding ascension
of Don Canham to University President
(see related story, page one), the Board
of Intercollegiate Athletics reached into
their own ranks and appointed Phyllis
Ocker, currently the Associate Director
of Athletics for women to replace
Canham as Athletic Director.
OCKER PLEDGED a hard look at
the priorities of athletics at Michigan
and made it clear that things would be
changing.
"You've got to look at growth poten-
tial of the sports we have. With full
houses at football and basketball games
all the time, it's worthless to expend
any energy to improve the programs,"
said Ocker. "We've already got as
many people watching as we can han-
dle."
For this reason, Ocker says, football,
basketball and hockey will be de-
emphasized and the efforts of the
department will be focused on areas of
potential growth (i.e. women's and
other non-revenue sports).
"We all know that women's sports
are more entertaining than football and
basketball," said Ocker. "There's
always a doubt about the winner in our
sports. It's not clearcut or boring like
most of the men's sports."
IN HER FIRST move as director,
Ocker began arranging to move the
football team to Ferry Field for their
games, which would be played under
the lights. Saturday afternoons at the
stadium would be devoted to field
hockey. All season tickets sold for foot-
ball will be honored at the field hockey
matches.
"We won't have to bust our budget
recruiting these big studs that every
college in the country wants," she said.
"There is a smaller demand for top
quality women athletes, so we can save

great amounts of money just by giving
scholarships to women athletes."
Football coach Bo Schembechler
looked upon the promotion with great
relish. "Finally the constant pressure
to win, win, win will be off my lack.
Let's let Ocker see what it's like to
produce for ten weeks, lose one lousy
game and have the whole world tell you
that you choke in the clutch," he ex-
plained.
Ocker's realignment of the program
will be slightly delayed because of the
major role she has in organizing this
weekend's regional synchronized
swimming championship at Margaret
Bell Pool. This is the last women's
event to be held under the restrictions
of the previous budget.
"WE'LL SHOW everyone what's
what in women's sports. Those clowns
at the Daily think they can get away,
with not covering the only varsity sport
with a chance for a national champion-,
ship this season," she exclaimed. "Just'
wait till they try to get press passes for
field hockey or women's gymnastics."
The women's gymnastics team will
be moving to Crisler Arena for a full 25
meet regular season schedule while the
basketball team will assume the tum-
blers' area in the Coliseum.
"Face the facts, most sports fans are
men, and I'm sure they, would much
rather see half dressed women running
and bouncing around than half dressed
men where the only thing that is boun-
cing is the basketball," explained
Ocker in justifying the transfer.
"Look what 'sells on TV-Charlie's,
Angels, Three's Company, etc. If the
sports fan wants jiggly, we'll give him
jiggly," continued Ocker. "This will be
the dawning of a new era in Michigan
sports. We're going to have a great
time."

WANTED-One more person to sign a lease for a
beautiful 6 bedroom house on Main Street and
Hoover. Summer sublet with fall option. $130/mo.
The only problem . . '. we have to sign the lease
today! This is no joke! If interested please call
663-6430. 'dY401
WOMAN WANTED to share quiet residential
home. Fireplace, porch swing. May-April lease.
Call evenings, weekends,.761-1343. 52Y402

Ann Arbor-THE MICHIGAN ANTIQUES SHOW
& SALE, March 31, April 1 & 2, U of M Crisler
Arena, Main & Stadium, exit 175 of I-94, 64 Select
Dealers. 11 a.m.-10p.m.,Sunday11-5. 50W401
SECOND SERVE DISCOUNT
RAQUET BALL AND TENNIS SHOES
406 E. LIBERTY
663-6771


'MAGIC'MAY TURN PRO
NCAA declares Earvin ineligible

By LORRE NAMFIHS
EAST LANSING - Michigan State
sensation Earvin Johnsin was declared
ineligible for the remainder of his
college career by the NCAA last night.
THE NCAA made the ruling after an
investigation of MSU's recruiting prac-
tices in securing Johnsin. The inquest
was supposedly opened because of a tip
given the NCAA by Michigan coach
Johnny Orr. Orr had been watching the
Spartan recruiting practices very
closely and allegedly uncovered some
very grave violations by MSU coaches
and alumni.
The NCAA ruling cited five MSU
violations:
" Offering and delivering to the
Johnsin family 25 free season tickets to
MSU JV games.
" Paying for dental services, in-
cluding braces for Johnsin's younger
sister, Mystic.
" Setting up Mr. Sam Johnsin (Ear-
vin's father) as a regent of MSU.

" Automatically exempting Johnsin
from freshmen composition and other
academic requirements.
* Allowing the Johnsin family the use
of the MSU Alumni Association's Ace
Hardware credit card.
MSU coach Jed Heathcote vehemen-
tly denied all the accusations (jumping
up and down while screaming) and ac-
cused Michigan's Orr of starting the in-
vestigation out of jealousy.
ORR REFUSES to "dignify" Heath-
cote with a reply.
Because of the violations, MSU was
also ruled ineligible for the past NCAA
tourney and will have to forfeit the
$23,927.92 it received in gate receipts.
Johnsin was very upset by the ruling.
"One day when I was very small my3
mama bought me a basketball. And I
loved that basketball. I took that
basketball with me everywhere I went.
I even put it under my pillow at night. .
. and now when I thought I was at the
free throw line of life, they foul me
out!"
However, Johnsin was able to see the
bright side of things.
"I GUESS I'll just go pro now,"
moaned Johnsin along With his coach.
"One NBA club in my area has already
bought my family a new house so I
know I'm wanted. The team doesn't
have a coach now and the GM told me I
would probably be player-coach."
In the wake of the ruling, MSU foot-
ball coach Durrel Rodgers handed in
his resignation.
"I can't continue to work for an
organization that shows such an
inability to hide what it is doing," com-
plained a discouraged Rodgers.

0
Puke ing
A ron
G rdd r , a er ..,icers alw ays surprising
By NIAGRA FALLS
T HE VARSITY SPORTS here at Michigan are well overdue for an' overhaul.
The football team, possessor of some fine records and three straight bowl
games over the past three years, is a boring, predictable three-yards-and-a-
cloud-of-dust monstrosity. The basketball team, participant in the NCAA's four of
the past five years, generally falls apart'in the big ones.
However, we have one saving grace at Michigan. The hockey team has given
Wolverine sports fans more than it can handle over the past few seasons.
Unlike football and basketball, the hockey team does not play to a full house
every game. Tickets are relatively easy to come by, thus assuring happy audien-
ces. Have you ever heard anyone complain about his seat at a hockey game? The
fans also do not have to stand in line and wait for hours to pick up a pair of ducats,
especially if North Dakota or Minnesota-Duluth is the foe.
With the football team, fans boo when the Wolverines don't score on every
possession. With the basketball team, fanis boo when the Wolverines don't win by 50
points every game. But with the hockey team, fans cheer such trivial things as
when the Wolverine goalies finally stop a shot.
Hockey fans here at Michigan ask very little from their team, and that is exac-
tly what the hockey team gives them.
The football team plays in the largest football stadium in America. The
basketball team plays in a nice, plush, and fairly new arena. But the hockey team
plays in the only building with character in this whole University. It's also the only
building with pigeons in the rafters and no hot water in the showers.
The hockey team, unlike the football team or basketball team, is not laden with
talent. Those young men had to work hard for their wins. The losing, on the other
hand, came easy.
We all have high expectations every year concerning the success of the foot-
ball team and the basketball team but we don't expect anything from the hockey
team.
When the football team loses in the bowl games, we're disappointed. When the
basketball team loses in the NCAA's, we're disappointed. But when the hockey
team doesn't even make the playoffs, we say, see-here is one team that we can
count on to do everything we thought they would do.
So all you students and alumni, if you ever feel bad about not getting football or
basketball tickets, turn on to the hockey team. After all-everyone else had turned
on them.

Curtain falls
on Magic show
.M SI .1

April Fools!!!
If you haven't guessed by now, all of
the stories on this page are fictitious,
are not intended to harm, and are sup-
posed to be somewhat humorous in
nature. Well, we tried our best.
smassammasammmmammosa

Leases should
be honest.
Tenants should get
accurate information
about their rights.

SI3hoto
Your Local P/of finisher"
" 4 HOUR EKTACHROME SLIDE


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PROCESSING