x

Sunday, April 1, 1973

THE MICHIGAN DAILY

Page Eleven


I l __ __ __ -_

,

WOODEN
Bruin students riot in
Unprecedented orgy.
SMOG-TOWN - Former University of Michigan Basketball men-
tor John Orr was named yesterday to replace John Wooden at thej
University of California at Los Angeles. Bruin Athletic Director
Charles Young made the announcement at a combination press con-
ference and Tupperware party.
Young was especially jubiliant about his choice. "Orr is just
what our basketball program needs," said -the UCLA leader. "He'll
add some spice to our campus.
"He's done a great job out there at Michigan. Look what he did
last year. He took a bunch of frankly mediocre boys and brought them
in with a fine 13-11 record. The man deserves some recognition."
"I am sorry we had to let Wooden go," Young continued. "But
a change was in order." Young went on to confirm that Wooden was
released because his style of basketball was boring:
"Students were falling asleep,"
said Young. ::.:::::.. . . ...

FIRED ORR

HIRED!
Tragedy in
WHEN THE long-traveled road
finally came to an end for John
Wooden, he was at Pauley Pavil-
lion putting up the nets. Athletic
I Director Charles Young and Cali-
fornia regent Max Rafferty ap-
proached him to tell him the bad
news. Wooden bowed his head and
remained gratified by their offer
Sto find him a tenured position in
the plant department.
Wooden has not indicated yet
just what he would do.
Two reasons contributed to Wood-
en's downfall; the disastrous 1966
season, and his failure to publish
in any recognized journal.
The 1966 season started off bad-
ly for the, master as the lowly
frosh trounced his warriors in a
pre-season clash. Led by talented
Mike Warren, the varsity squad,
after two promising years, fell
apart.
But it was the failure to publish
that really hurt Wooden. Collea-
gues were divided on the question.

j Sigma Delta Tau
SPAGHETTI DINNER
SUNDAY, APRIL 1
5-8 p.m-.
$1.50 1405 Hill
PROCEEDS TO THE DIABETES FOUNDATION

I -

St. Matthew. Passion
by
3S. BACH

I

University of Michigan Chamber Choir
and

Orr, arriving at the conference
late in a dress jacket by Sears
apologized for bringing Chinese.
The deli was closed," he explain-
ed.
No Foolin'
Contrary to public opinion, the
world was not cancelled for
April Fool's Day. John Orr is
still at Michigan and Billy Mar-
tin is still with the Tigers. Had
you worried there for a moment,
didn't we? Check out pages eight
and nine for the stories.
He went on, "I think I can make
this group a conference contender.
With a little bit of polish this fel-
low Walton could be quite a fair
ball player."

Pro Standings

DUELING

Kill. MIA
Conte of Monte Criscos 35 14
The Light Brigade 17 12
Three Musketeers 34 1
Scarlet Pimpernels 19 /4
Zorros 5 34
Sudden Death Play-offs begin
urday.

Pts
21
24
16
15
14
Sat-

11,

FOREIGN RELATIONS
Feathers in Cap Black Eyes

Soviet Union 56
United States 55
Democratic Republic of
Vietnam 43
Henry Kissinger 37

34
55

"JOHN WAS great working with
the young men but he didn't really
have it scholarship-wise, if you
catch my meaning," said Louisville
head coach Denny Crum, a long1
time associate of the Bruin men-
tor. "He had only a slight grasp
of the concept of subjective other-
ness. And you can't be successful
in this business if you don't have
it down pat."
Others were quick to defend
him. 'He was great in setting up a
zone defense."
Also mitigating against Wooden
were his advancing years. T h e:
sight of his cane-aided walk to his
cottage just off campus was as
familiar as was his garbled speech.
-

University Symphony Orchestra.
THOMAS H I LB I SH--conductor
HILL AUDITORIUM
WED., April 4-7:30 P.M.
RESERVED SEATS $3.00
STUDENTS RESERVED $2.00
(Center portion of main floor and center portion of 1st balcony)
GENERAL ADMISSION $2.00
STUDENTS $1.00
TICKETS ARE GOING FAST!
Hill Auditorium Box Office Hours:
9 a.m.-6 p.m. April 2 and April 3
9 a.m. until concert time on April 4.
FOR INFORMATION CALL 764-7592

S17
37

MEXICAN YODELING

Orr inherits a team that has had
but one type experience on the
maplewood, a fact which could Popocatept
contribute to some sort of apathy. Oaxaca
"We're gonna do some kind of Warhaw
shaking up around here," Orr Toluca
said. "These boys are gonna Tottecs
learn a lot about life." Espantapaj
weSan Juan
"That's the type of attitude weSTeotih
like around here," Young said as
he penned Orr to a multi-year con-T
tract for an undisclosed amount of Playoffs:
cash and rights to serialization of
the Basketball Programs, a collec- #
tion of humorous ancedotes about San Jua
life in Bruin athletics. pajaros.

Warbles Whoopies

Pts

Is 53
Wks 45
2s
aros 17
uacan 3

13 117
25112

3
34
94

98
52

AP Photo
UCLA MASCOT MELINDA P. JONES reacts with glee upon hearing of John Orr's reemployment
with the UCLA basketball program. Jones, who has a penchant for rubber gloves, is at least 35 years
old. ."I haven't been so happy since Disneyland opened up," she said.

7

-_ i

Tomorrow's Games
FINALS

A REAL SLEEPER:
'76ers announce draft choice

n Teotihuacan at Espanta-


Soccer clash ousts monarchy;
Toronto TORS declare victory.
By The Associated Press
1 LAKELAND-Detroit General Manager Jim Campbell yesterday
denied that the Tigers were made up of old men. "Just because we
picked up Gabby Hartnett and Walter Johnson everybody thinks we're'
an old team." Campbell made the comments while explaining Medicare
to a team meeting.
0 NEW YORK - NFL headquarters denied that plans for declar-
ing Pete Rozelle Month were in the works. "We were thinking
of letting children off from school on his birthday," a spokesperson
for the office admitted.'
S SAN DIEGO - The San Diego Padres admitted yesterday that
the entire squad, with the exception of reserve catcher Pat Corralles,
hndp d lrivin i n o rnim marriae situation

By DANA HENRY
The h a p 1 e s s Philadelphia
76ers, searching for basketball tal-
ent in any shape or size in an ef-
fort to revive their sagging league
record, announced yesterday they
were negotiating with nine-year-
old f o u r t h - g r a d e r,
Johnny "Swish" Wilson and his
lawyers for permission to draft the
talented cager in the upcoming
NBA hardship draft, April 9.
76er Coach Kevin Koughery said
of the Leningrad, Idaho native,
"He's 4-8, dribbles well, and can
rebound with the best of them."
When asked by reporters how
~COIF. s

"Swish" could qualify for the
hardship draft, Loughery replied,
"His allowance was cut to 25c a
week by his mother because he
wouldn't finish "his vegetables and
you know about the cost of living
and how much trouble youngsters
have making ends meet."
According to a source close to
the club, Philadelphia is offering
Wilson $2 million in cash, stock

options, and a complete set of 1973
baseball cards.
Loughery saw no reason why
the 85 pounder couldn't move into
the starting lineup next year.
"Swish" has all the tools. He can
play both guard and forward and
shot 42 per cent for his fourth
grade team."
"If we can't get Walton (Bill, of
UCLA), Wilson's our man."

I

AIR HOCKEY TOURNAMENT


HI
MON

LLEL

and
College

MIDRASHA
of Jewish Studies of Detroit
- PRESENT -

f1

Dr. Uri Ra'anan
Professorh of International Politics
Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy
SPEAKING ON
"SOVIET INTERNATIONAL DIPLOMACY
AND THE MIDDLE EAST"
'DAY, APRIL 2. - 8:00 p.m. - at HILLEL, 1429 Hill

1

nau een lvin ug g1 up 111 gcauuu
6L"~ "'-~ -' E. TIBETAN YAK HERDING
"It's thirty times the fun," said reserve outfielder Larry Stahl, Trtlx 45, Xcrtox 3
"but it's like facing Tom Seaver - you never know what kind of E. Lhasa 92, Katmandu 21
 you'll be served." Hollywood East 89, Lost Horizon 3
pitch y Kabul 42, Karachi 41 (overtime)
* '* * Peking 113, Moscow 0
* NEW YORK - Spokespeople for the National Broadcasting CHILEAN SOCCER
Company refused comment on a wire-service report that Curt Gowdy4TNIIOH
had died during the second half of the UCLA-Memphis State game Antofagasta Juniors 3, Izquierdistas .
last Monday night. Flores de Santiago 0, Vina del Mar 0
"We don't have anything to add to the matter," an NBC executive;LsTide Brrachuos ,Ygtacama I
added. "Besides, I can't see how anyone could have noticed the dif- Callao del Sur 5, Generalisimo 3
ference anyway." La Latina 4, Guadalajara 4
Carabanchel 8, Rtayo Vallecano 6
Sanjurjo 0, Gn. Franco -l
" LOS ANGELES - Behemouth center Wilt Chamberlain was Alemanes 11, Italianos :3
placed on the medical disabled list yesterday after complaining about Allendistas 45, Conservadores 2
nightmares. "I dream that I have to get into a Volkswagen bug in BIRIaNGHAM, MICGo .
thirty seconds or less without the use of my lower limbs," said the LITTLE LEAGUE BASEBALL
Stilt. EXHIBITION
* * Lions 4, Bears 3
Maroons 3, Parlor Pinks 2
0 BROOKLYN-Rabbi Akiba Ben Shultz today issued the All-Jewish Leafs vs. Expos, called by rain
Basketball Squad. Center Neil Walk and Forward Buffy Kramer led in APHA
voting of the rabbinical students at Yeshiva. Named to a backcourt Toronto 7, Philadelphia 6
slot was one bearded chap named Moses who was named to the Newark 5, Detroit 0I
squad because he owned the ball. 'Paw Paw 2, California 0
ss. Bay City 8, Minnesota 5
* ^ W. Bay City 5, Kansas City 4
" ICELAND - Chess giant Bobby Fisher, revisiting the scene Ovid 2, l 1a
of his triumph over the Soviet Boris Spassky, admitted yesterday thatj Emblem Wyo. 17, Frost Tex.
he was fronting for the Mafia. The Mob, which has now moved Poughkeepsie 6, New Haven I
into the highly lucrative jacks, marbles and APBA rackets, apparently E. Stroudsburg 3, Conyngham 0
Washtenaw 1, Keewenaw 0
made Fisher an offer he couldn't refuse - a year's supply of ceiling strawberry Lake 5,
wax. Kensington Metro. Park 3
"Fisher has long been known to be a proponent of the Sicilian de-' Graiotnd 3r Woodwarda2
GrandyRiver 19, Potechatrdin 0
Tense," cracked advisor Timothy Leary. only gamnes scheduled


I

ETHEL

a

LEWIS
4th WARD
"Ann Arbor needs an aggressive Council. One that
seeks many alternative solutions instead of passively
accepting the first proposal that comes to it from
administrators."
paid for by Ethel Lewis for Council Committee
VOTE DEMOCRATIC MONDAY, APRIL 2

r

An important announcement to every
student in the healta professions:
NEW SCHOLARSHIPS
ARE AVAILABLE IMMEDIATELY.
THEY COVER TUITION AND
RELATED COSTS AND PROVIDE AN
ANNUAL INCOME OF $5,300 AS WELL.

CAROL JONES URGES

v/t y ::;i i i


T H ETA XI
THE COED FRAT.
OPEN ALL
SUMMER

"YES" VOTE ON BUS PROPOSAL
"The city must begin now to reverse those trends which have led to insur-
mountable problems in other cities - haphazard sprawl, traffic congestion
on vast expanses of asphalt, and the separation of the rich from the poor.
I strongly support the AATA public transportation proposition as a first
step in urning the city around, away from cars and roads. The widening
and constructio " of new "oads has been an irresponsible non-solution to
the problem of traffic congestion and does not meet the transportation
needs of those who cannot afford or do not want cars. We must re-allocate

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I

If a steady salary of $400 a
month and paid-up tuition
will help you continue your
professional training, the
scholarships just made pos-
sible by the Uniformed
Services Health Professions
Revitalization Act of 1972
deserve your close attention.
Because if you are now in a
medical, osteopathic, dental,
veterinary. nodiatrv. or on-

on active duty (with extra
pay) for 45 days. Naturally,
if your academic schedule
requires that you remain on
campus, you stay on campus
-and still receive your active
duty pay.
Active duty requirements
are fair. Basically, you serve
one year as a commissioned
officer for eachyear you've
narticinated in the nrogram.

hard, expensive training.
Now we are in a position to
give you some help. Mail in
the coupon at your earliest
convenience for more detailed
information.
-------------
[AXed Fores e C-CN-43 I
UI vuersai City, Tecee 781411I
I desire information for th* followin g
. prorram
S Arm j Navy []Air Fore
Vetriar Poatr_____
Ohr(lesse speify).

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All i l;ities

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