Page Ten

THE MICHIGAN DAILY

Sunday, April 1, 1973 1

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- r a g e T e n T H E M I C H I G A N D A I L Y S u n d a yIll A p r il. 1 , 1 9 7 3 11111 , , 1 l 11 ', I I ll I , , ., , '11 I Il IllIM~lllliliilIIIIII


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* reserved rental campers or cars available

CLEVELAND PLAYBOY IN JEOPARDY:
Legow set to Castle?

By ALFREDO di STEFANO
Two brief years ago, the her-
alded Michigan Daily sports staff
scooped the world with the news
that Genis and Cusumano intend-
ed to meet in a 12 round marital
bout. From that day on, our alert
busybodies kept you, the readers
informed of all the nitty-gritty
pre-fight details which climaxed
with the nation's most comprehen-
sive coverage of the main event
last Memorial Day at the Moose
Hall in New Britain, Connecticut.
Well once again noted Daily
bloodhounds have sniffed out a
pre-nuptial exclusive which can Miss Sherry
only make Rona Barrett and/or
Howard Cosell salivate uncontroll- No official announcement of
ably- the date or arena has been made
James McCord secretly revealed'but late yesterday afternoon it
the last remaining Watergate se- was learned that Legow has sworn
cret to announce that Elliot Paul off the Cleveland Indians for life
Legow and Sherrie Castle have
something hot brewing in their - which is a strong indication that
smouldering pot of romance. Eros is even mightier than. the
HowardCosel KO'd

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Lost Prospect
Michigan assistant basketball coach Jim Dutcher tearfully an-
nounced yesterday that prep basketball star Horst Hump (right) will
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left, said that for regilious reasons her son would have to go to
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Legow
lifetime hitting statistics, of Gay-
lord Perry.
Castle, a society gal from the
Motown suburbia, was not avail-
able for comment, but Legow, re-
spiring heavily, notified the press
that a news conference will be held
in theanear future to announce the
official plans. He did make it.
certain, however, that "If we do
anything, you can be certain we'll
do it by the stylebook."
Only last January it was as-

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" sumed that the business staff an-
silenced by ex-eham p tics of this frivolous couple would
dwindle into oblivion when Castle
By SHMOE FALLS overheard Legow exclaim that the
By SMOE ALLSonly thing that could turn him on
It ended almost as fast as it began. That was the consensus of the at night was rapid computation of
many who witnessed Mohammed Ali knock out Howard Cosell in an the field goal and assist averages
unscheduled one round bout in the promenade lavatory of Madison of the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Square Garden. But Castle recently expressed
The eloquent but slow-reacting Cosell was just out-gunned by the hope for her partner's thirst for
former heavyweight champ as Ali smashed him to the floor within five the myriad of meaningless num-
bers -saying, "It has taken some
seconds of the start of the fight with a dazzling right uppercut. time, but Elliot is gradually be-
The bout began after an alleged interview with Ali by Cosell where coming convinced that those silly
Howard inquired, "Do you, Mohammed Ali, former champion, whose pages of digital variations are far
fighting skills were mercilessly humbled by Joe Frazier, feel that age less appealing than the three sta-
has finally overcome your able but declining frame and your days of tistics that only I can offer him."
glory have come to an end?"
To this Ali replied, "Three things I promise to do. I'll knock out'FY1
Joe in two. I can take George in four. And make Howard so he won't r a t oody
talk no more."
Ali promptly belted Cosell, extracting a number of teeth and
breaking his jaw in the process., ep orted n
Commenting on his disastrous showing Cosell could only say,
"Gwonflongumph onflupla numphomlur." Communication was difficult;ds a ch arge
through the wired jaw.-ph ae
The bout was Cosell's first action since he dominated the Pleasant'
Street elementary school playground as a second-grader in Des Moines. By ERNEST DEMINGWAY
Ali, however, in a jubilant post fight press conference said, "With The U.S. Federal Government,
poetry as with my fists I sing, Mohammed Ali is still king of the -ring." speaking through special agent
Eugene Staudenmeier announced
-^__ _ _ _ _esterday orders 'for Ohio State
football coach Woody Hayes to
leave the country. The deportation
The Center for Russian & notice came after an investigation
into Hayes' alleged illicit drug dy-
East European Studies nasty.
Hayes, who must leave the coun-
Invites you to a lecture by try by April 2, was shocked at the
announcement. "Golly," comment-
URANAN the dazed mentor in an exclu-
.C sive Daily interview.,
Professor of International Politics, The famed Buckeye mentor,
the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy, photographeyralie is rumored to
on command a vast empire involved in
illicit activities centered in Colum-
bus, Ohio. Rumors are based on
"Sovietuol vy and the fact that, at last year's Michi-
. gan-OSU football finale, the entire
football team as well as thousands
T h e tUi..UuhIiE asy )of spectators were high for the
game.
April2-4:io pm. ( Hayes added, in his exclusive
Date-MONDAY, A rl2 41 P. . Daily interview, that he is planning
(to move to Afghanistan if Ohio does
Lecture Rut. 2, Modern Languages Bldg. not secede from the union.
("There's a lot of untapped foot-
)ball talent in that country. Be-
_________________________________________________________sides, the dope is cheap."


1

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- Nylon Rainsuits 9.98
"Schott" Leather Jackets .......All Prices
Spanish Wine Bags ... . 2.49 & Up

ANOTHER LOCATION AT:
2050 N. TELEGRAPH at FORD RD. in DEARBORN
SI BANKAMERICARD MASTER CHARGE

6

BIG

1 ,

OF

WHY

PHIL

CARROLL'

HUMAN RIGHTS PARTY - 4th WARD
BECAUSE . .
... PHIL CARROLL believes in placing a profit ceiling
Ethel Lewis doesn't!
... PHIL CARROLL believes in a strong Human Rights
with black, women and gay advocacy seats and
doesn't!

on rent and
Commission
Ethel Lewis

$300,000

.

SALE

INVOLVING EVERY ARTICLE IN OUR STORE ON BOTH FLOORS EXCEPT TEXTBOOKS AND CALCULATORS
NO GIMMICKS JUST GOOD OLD FASHIONED BARGAINS
Because of the thousands of items which we carry--it would be impossible to mark down each item~
ALL Regular priced merchandise will be discounted 20% at the Registers-Special priced items or items
with a LARGER DISCOUNT will be Tagged. This Sale is ULRICH'S way of saying "Thank You."

... PHIL CARROLL walked the strike lines at C.P.H.A. and at the
public school secretaries' strike while Ethel Lewis completely
ignores the right of working people on the job!
... PHIL CARROLL wants to make forced overtime and speed-ups il-
legal while Ethel Lewis doesn't!

... PHIL CARROLL speaks to issues and
"The time has come for Democrats
to stop mouthing vague 'open gov-
ernment' slogans and face the cen-
tral issue-PEOPLE MUST COME
BEFORE PROFI TS!"

Ethel Lewis talks platitudes!

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SAVE

20 to

50

GREAT SALE
rA 'VI d

11 m-Aw

IAf T r l\ w f R /At 1AMw s\

r