Sunday, September 30, 1973 THE MICHIGAN DAILY Page Five Sunday, September 30, 1973 THE MICHIGAN DAILY Page Five ., a ................ I ......... . . . ................... perspective: the dope 1 By JETHRO KLOSS I CAN DESCRIBE the scound- rel down to the slightest de- tail. He walks with a distinctive limp. His leg is nothing more than dead weight clinging by its roots. His stringy black hair is laminated with a thick layer of vaseline. It dangles over a face, pock-marked and colored by red, fesitering pimples. Snot rolls from his nostrils onto his upper lip. And those fingernails; long and menacing with an undercoat of grime and soot. This must be the way he look- ed the night he broke into my apartment. The night that the son-of-a-bitch ° ripped-off my stash. I HAD HEARD that this hap- pened before. Dope that lies around unguarded .has a habit of disappearing with the grace and speed of Svengali himself. On Tuesday night some un- scrupulous knave plucked three ounces of marijuana, and one- half ounce of hashish from my 'desk draw. I had considered myself care- ful. I didn't deal. I always kept my stash packed neatly away. I assumed that a burglar would. opt for my stereo or typewriter before rummaging through draw- ers that might yield nothing more than pencil shavings and paper clips. BUT THIS SLIMY character's hunger is not easily satiated by a routine diet of stereos, tv., and other fenceable items. He has the style and brains to realize that stealing dope is practically hassle-free. It leaves the victim stupified and power- less. I couldn't report the theft to the police. Imagine the scene . . . I RUSH frantically downtown to the police station. Breathless- ly I plead with the desk ser- geant: "Please sir, Please sir,' some- one has.just stolen my stash." "Fill out this form, itemize the goods and we will take it from there," he replies soberly. In a rush I scrible, "O n e ounce Colombian tops, two ounc- es Jamacian bush, one-half ounce Red Lebanese hash," and hand it over. He reads the form carefully, looks my way, points, and scoffs: "It serves you right you dumb bastard, get your ass out of here." I just don't think he'd under- stand. Our culprit is out for more than just a quick profit. He en- joys the frustration, he evokes the powerlessness of his prey. He enjoys that extra knee to the crotch while his opponent is helplessly tied up on the ropes. Stereos and such are easily re- placed by some enormous, face- less insurance company in Hart- ford, Conn. Not even Lloyds of London would assume liability for somebody's stash. THIS IS HOW our fiend thinks; this is how he acts. Ironically he feeds off of those of us long ago disregarded our paranoia and became more open about our dope-smoking habits. friend's brother who knew some- body, who knew somebody . . . That was when an ounce was 40 per cent catnip and- in- evitably 7 grams short. AT THE SAME time parents still believed that marijuana was a 'derivitive of heroin, smuggled into this country by Negroes, and From whence the stash came .. . I long ago threw away t h at molding cigar box in w h i z h I used to hide my dope. It was a decaying vestige from the days when I knew nothing of dope thefts, and lived rather in dire fear of being busted by the po- lice or maybe worse, by my parents. Those were the pre-Wood- stock days when kids were still getting off on Iron Butterfly, buying their dope from their best smoked only by those residing in disadvantaged areas. .Getting busted by your par- ents was enough to make your mothers heart go bad, enough to make your father's business go down the drain. AND THEN I MOVED to Ann Arbor, where comparatively, dope smoking was bliss. Bliss is not having to spray your room with Right Guard so that the folks can't smell that tell-tale odor. Bliss is discover- ing that they grow marijuana in such places as Jamaica or Co- lumbia. Bliss, once upon a time, was collecting a really good stash. A stash of which you could be proud. A stash of various strains that mixed well and could suit any mood or need. It had taken me months of hard work and epicurean selection to accomp- lish this task. The thought of my beautiful stash now sitting in the slimy, grimey, hands of that thief is painful. But the pain goes deeper than that. THIS CROOK has sent me back into a state of mind that I had abandoned nearly four years ago. Back to the d a y s there's BOX OFFICEO OPEN MONDAY Ann Arbor Civic Theatre's ARMS and the MAN o romantic comedy by G.B. SHAW October 3-6, 1973 Mendelssohn Theatre 8.00 p.M. Tickets $2.50, $3.00 763-1085 for reservations 0 I thief when smoking dope was coup- led by the strange bedfellow of fear. I no longer know who to trust. I unconsciously find my- self doubting the honestly of even my closest friends. All this just because of that amoral leach who I have never seen. Jethro Kloss is a pseudonym as- sumed by the wr/ter out of a creep- ing fear tha't he may be busted, or worse, ripped off again. U of M and EMU NITE MON DAY Bring Student I.D. and get in FREE DISCOUNTS ON PITCHERS OF BEER 341 S. MAIN-ANN ARBOR A Moving Experience in Sound and Light I looking hack: o . the week as it was Fbent iig TeaSGC's size was somewhat more Meanwhile, various financial money in there (the budget), I'd wieldy, they were beginning to departments within the Univer- sure like to see it." Now he has. have problems attracting a sity seem to be using different By week's end, the officials The formal script invitations goodly number of candidates, methods of statistical analysis. in financial analysis claimed their went out i an issue of the Daily. This year, in the independent Pierpont has said that while lips were sealed and they stop- The University student b o d y housing, by way of sad example, the tuition increase averaged 24 ped talking, but there had al- was invited to attend a tea at only two persons signed up for per cent, the "weighted ii- ready been too much talking the home of President and Mrs. six available ositions out of both sides of mouths fo Robben Fleming on Thursday. i valbepostos crease" or actual increase in ouofbtsieofm thfo revenue, was closer to 20 pe: terse "no comments" to do much When the appointed day arriv- Even a cursory consideration cent. But an Office of Financial good. ed, some 400 people showed up of the implications of that fact Analysis staffer informed t h W * to drink punch, eat cookies and is disturbing: any fascist gork, Daily that both the regular and exchange pleasantries with the complete incompetent or func- weighted increase amounted to Oops! host and hostess. tional illiterate could snatch a the same figure - 24 per cent. Due to an error of transmis- One political infiltrator circu seat on SGC,sand thereby fur- A 'best case' estimate comput- sion, as somedistinguished col- lated a tuition petition and a few ther shatter its credibility. ed this week by Vice President laushv enkont u men came in drag but most All is not lost, however. At for Academic Affairs A1la it, we goofedlast week. The of the people in attendance left least one party, running in the Smith revealed that under op- pensive looking man referred 'o their politics and jeans at home. LSA division, has seen fit to timum circumstances the tuition in this space as Alan Smith, Vice- "You don't confront people inl combine humor - with purpose. hike could produce extra reven- President for Academic Affairs, their living room," one student Jim Barahal, an undergraduatehiescou$.mprodc frreeU- wsiaetfa dmic AffPirs, said. senior, is running on the Dump ues of $2.4 million for the Uni- was actually' Wilbur Pierpont, Fleming said that the annual Orr Party - its sole platformu versitv. Smiththad earlier aco-tApol sChief Financial Officer. open house is held because he and 'purpose being to dump bas- mne:"fteesayeta Aoois likes to meet students and "let ketball coach Johnny Orr. them know people live here", * *URRYENDS WED. but just think: What would hap- H oR E on Tuition WE5. pen if the Flemings gave a party OP 12:45 and everyone actually came? SHOWS AT 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 P.M. University officials slammed Feature 20 min. later * * * their briefcases shut Wednesday and refused to release informa- She's 6 feet 2" of SGC Electionx tion detailing the calculations Dynamite! which led to this year's 24 per- Apparently neither the tuition cent tuition increase. a strike nor the high visibility of Wilbur Pierpont, chief Univer- TEcHNIcoLOR@ vocal SGC President Lee Gill sity financial officer, explained PANAVISION has inspired any kind of re- the action by saying, "Every- - - - newed interest in a nearly mori- body will have a different idea STARTS THURSDAY: "JESUS CHRIST, SUPERSTAR bund student government, about what it means." STARTS___ THURSDAY:____JESUS__CHRIST, ___SUPERSTAR__ Trying to engineer s m o o t h _---- ____ SGC elections has been an em- barrassingly futile effort f o r .campus bureaucrats in the last \ I few years, and the early tidings - ewarur urasTHE FELLINI FESTIVAL for this year's are no better. A pointlessly confusing system now allots 42 seats to various cam- L BE them residence halls, independ- ent housing and LSA. This film about a trio of con men is The problem is that even when Th __be s vsometimes seen as the middle part of a "triology of solitude" that includes CAMPUS THEATRE La Strado and Nights of Cbiria. It DIA A. I68V4I features Broderick Crawford, Richard Sat, sun. and wed. at 1, 3 Basehart and Guilietta Masina. 7, 9 p.m. Other days at 7 & 9 only D AFREE Showing: Fellini: A Director's Notebook, at 6 and 10:30 is an exquisite iovie: TUES.: W.C. Fields in -REX REEDTH BAKDC Syndicated Cohumnst THE BANK DICK A NOVEL BY HERANN E ARCHITECTURE AUD. FILMBYINEMA GUILD Tonight at ADM. ROOKS 7 and 9:05 R. CINEMA II and ANN ARBOR FILM COOP PRESENT FRANCOIS TRUFFAUT'S TWO ENGLISH G RLS A r A . * I Al A - I I -t _ "JESUS CHRIST SUPER STAR" JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR is a controversial movie. It is coming soon to our theatre. Some of the more con- se'rvative members of our community may think it's not so great. Some, perhaps, even that it is sacrileg- ious. I reserved my opinion until I saw it because , too, was skeptical. Now that I have seen it (it's rated "G") I think its one of the greatest motion pictures ever to play our theatre and I heartily endorse it for the appreciation of all. However, should any patron feel this picture not worth the admission we will cheerfully give them a "rain check" for a future movie. It has long been a policy of this theatre not to exhibit offensive motion pictures. However, we have never avoided controversial subjects. JESUS CHRIST SUPER- STAB has been endorsed by many leading publications throughout the United States as an important motion picture ... indeed, great cinema. I invite you to be a judge. I respect the collective judgments of the various publications which have acclaimed the film, and I will most certainly respect yours. south sFrederick G. Caryl SS T A T EManager ..T- ee .h..4.4 State Theatre -i """