Tuesday, April 1, 1975

THE MICHIGAN DAILY

Page Seven

Tus_, pi , 95TH IHGA AL


Sports of rllhe Daily

Griffin
By ERNEST DEMINGWAY w e
Special To The Daily W
COLUMBUS - Ohio State j
tailback Archie Griffin an-
nounced his transfer to Michi-';
gan yesterday, in a hastily-

to

leave

11 enroll at Michigan,
X peeed to add depth

Tigers acquire Allen

osly
to WCC, a junior college that
offers a unique opportunity to
expand one's horizons.
In his career at Ohio State
that has spanned several years;
the older Griffin carried the
ball a whole bunch of times. He
gained numerous yards and!
scored a few touchdowns. "I
guess he played against Texas
Christian his sophomore year,"
Schembechler said, "and I un-
derstand he's a real hard work-
er."

Detroit Tiger General Manager Jim Campbell today an- called press conference held at
nounced the acquisition of controversial first baseman Dick Allen the McDonalds on High Street.
from the Atlanta Braves today. The Tigers sent shortstop Gene "There ain't no hash bash
Micheal, outfielder Art James and manager Ralph Houk to the in Columbus, man. Besides, I
Braves, ain't getting learned enough
here," Griffin stammered.
Allen, when told of the trade, commented, "You don't say?" Griffin was ruled eligible to
play next year for the Wolver-
0 ines by the Big Ten faculty rep-

SPIRITUAL4

COMMUNITY OF THE SUN
PRESENTS


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1
1



Official puck named
At a meeting of the NHL owners held early this month in
Mellville, Saskatchuwan, the world-famous "Quaddieburger" was
designated the official hockey puck for the 1976 season.."The}
consistency and texture were unsurpassed," remarked GuyI
LeMandupierre, owner, general manager and third string goalie
of the Saskatoon Dolphins.
Si
Walton jumps to SLA
Bill Walton, controversial center for the Portland Trailblazers
of the National Basketball Association, has jumped to the SLA
for a hitherto unofficially reported amount.
A source close to the red-headed, free-spirited youth estimatest
that the Rebels, the San Francisco franchise of the SLA, was
able to lure the star from the NBA with a promise of "a quantity
of mung beans, two acres of land in beautiful Horizon Springs,
several pounds of Lebanese Red and complete political asylum."
Michigan tabs recruit
Assistant Michigan basketball coach Jim Dutcher has an-
nounced that he is "extremely close" to signing one of the
nation's top young schoolboy prospects for the Maize and Blue.k
"We'll really solve our future center problems if I cafl nail
this kid," Dutcher quipped.
The kid, the son of Mr. and Mrs. Horace Debussey Jones,
of Altitude, New Mexicd, promises to be one of the biggest
sensations in Blue roundball history.
Mr. Jones stands tall at 7-2, while his wife is 6-6. Their son,
still unnamed, should reach, as estimated by Dr. B. B. Blade-
thorn, a height of 7-6 at maturity.
The Jones boy obviously tired from all the recent new
experiences and attention, remarked, "Ooohwaa," and was im-
mediately returned to the incubator.
Lies lies, all lies
The Daily sports staff announced last night that all the
stories appearing on page seven are fallacious. Replying to
accusations of libel, Sports Editor Brian Deming commented,
"Aren't all our stories fallacious?"
For information about the real sports world turn to page eight.

resentatives. "He's such a nice
guy, we thought he deserved
it," a spokesman said.
Woody Hayes, the Buckeye's
head coach, was unavailable for
Kupec 's
last shot
A west coast photographer
claims Michigan's C. J. Kupec
did indeed hit his final shot of
regulation time in the Michigan-
UCLA playoff game.
"The camera doesn't lie,"
smiled 95-year-old Murray Mul-
chaus. "It's all there in black
and white."
Retiring UCLA coach John
Wooden, after viewing Mul-
chaus' shot, said, "Yeah, may-
be he did make it but Michigan
couldn't have beaten Louisville
anyway."
The entire last round will be:
replayed this weekend at Water-
man Gym. Get your tickets
- early. -

comment. He is now recovering
at a health farm from a foot
fracture incurred while stomp-
ing up and down on a local pho-
tographer.
Upon hearing the news,
Michigan coach Bo Schem-
bechler remarked "Oh? He
should provide us some depth,
I suppose."
Griffin, if he makes the
team, is expected to play behind
Gordon Bell, Rob Lytle, Jeff
Liebster, and several promising
freshmen recruits.
Griffin's announcement was
made before a crowd of twelve
including Ronald McDonald the
Hamburgler ,three groupies,
two winos, and this Daily re-
porter.

"He sure gave himself a
break today," said McDonald,
local burger merchant and
member of Columbus' Best
Dressed Club.
"I want to make Michigan a
winner. It'sabout time the
Badgers wvent to the Rose
Bowl," the Heisman Trophy
winner said as he downed an
Egg McMuffin. Those maize
and blue helmets are really
boffo. I've never been on a na-
tional championshipteam and
this is my last chance."
"Ann Arbor's such a great
town," Griffin smiled. "It's
so easy to get around in,
housing is so inexpensive,
and the weather's always
nice."
Griffin's younger brother,
Ray, also disenchanted with
Ohio State's scolastic climate
I has decided to transfer to
Washtenaw Community Col-
lege. "I was stifled academic-
ally here in Columbus, but WCC
offers a unique opportunity to
expaid my horizons," announc-
ed Griffin about his transferral

AL. Stan dittgs

EAST

W L Pct.

Catfish Hunter $ $
Boston 0 0
Cleoveland 800
*Djetroit 0 0
Baltimore 7 5
New Jersey 0 12
*clinched division title

.500
.000
.371
.000
.000

G13
5
17
37

DumICK REGORY
* Speakinq on the food crisis and survival of humanity *
FRI., MAY 16, 1975-7:00 P.M.
UNIV. OF MICH. BALLROOM
Donation $4 olus I can of food
profits ao to world community food bank
ann arbor mi
GET TICKET in ADVANCE of show!
Available at David's Bookstore---529 E. Liberty
and n the Michiaan Union
Come Out to Sprnig
with Micigannsia

MIDwEST

Ubermensch
Kokoino
Hloboken
Alice Lloyd
*Ma nila
*folded

40 0
1 2
7 2
1 1
19 13

.758
.333
.444
1
.000

12
-
1
7


Indochina Peace Compaign in Ann Arbor presents
for APRIL FOOLS' DAY

Barbra Streisand

Ryan O'Neal

The Photo

in PETER BOGDANOVITCH'S screwball comedy
What's Up, Doc?
an outrageously honest Streisand brings
a stifff O'Neal to his senses.

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