Page 14-Saturday, April 14, 1979-The Michigan Daily
big apple
(Continued from Page 3)
Avenue of the Americas, then Seventh
Avenue: no Sixth. Positive we'd missed
it, we looked again. Finally, we sum-
moned the courage to ask a policeman,
who informed us that Avenue of the
Americas was Sixth Avenue. In the
immortal words of Timothy Leary,
"Bummer!"
But now that I've lived through the
tourist phase - ignorance and all -
and have seen the World Trade Center,
the Statue of Liberty, Radio City Music
Hal' Times Square, CBGB's and other
Gri t American Landmarks, I can
you that it's more fun to blend in with
the i.y crowd. If that be your desire,
her- are several things you'll want to
av,: Cabs, excessive museum-
hopp;ing, seeing more than one Broad-
waxy show (Broadway's good, but not
4 that good), going to Elaine's, and
checking out the disco scene. Above all,
refrain from staring at bums on the
Bowery. True, they are put there for
your amusement, but good New
Yorkers know how not to be rude about
such things.
In general, New York grows more
pleasant the more one adheres to its
rites and ways. Greenwich Village, for
example, is essentially asleep until
noon; but it stays open till the wee
hours: it is not like Ann Arbor, where a
major social avenue like State Street is
as dead after dinner as it is at midnight.
If you plan on spending much time in
the Village (and if you're going to New
York, you ought to), don't get up at the
crack of dawn like a professional
tourist who crams as much hard-core
vacationing into his week as possible.
Sleep in till all hours, then stroll (don't
run) down MacDougal Street, and take
in the leisurely pace of it.
A CCOMMODATIONS can be a help
tor hindrance in becoming a cer-
tified New Yorker-for-a-week. The
YMCA, as the Village People tell it,
may have everything, but it's one hell
Bite
the.
Big
The Michigan Daily-Saturday,
App]
Daily Photo by ANDY FREEBERG
A MAJOR tourist attraction of New York is the recently-built World Trade Center. The 11-story edifice is the second largest
building in the world.
of a dreary place to come home to at
night. If you have friends in New York,
that's a start. If you have friends of
friends, that's even better - you'll have
a place to stay, without fulfilling any
fraternal obligations or having to ac-
count for yourself every minute of the
day. Last spring, my travel-mate and I
stayed with a brother of a friend in his -
spacious (if unelegant) loft. Living in
what is basically a barely-furnished
basketball court, we had all the essen-
tials-a bathroom, two mattresses, and
five cats, to insure that none of our little
rodent friends made their rotting way
onto the premises.
Finally, you have to learn to look like
a New Yorker, I'm not talking about
how you dress, although that may come
into play, but in how you cultivate that
jaded, stoney stare, that same knowing
gleam Dashiell Hammet must have
my dewey-eyed Midwestern stare to the
sundry sellers of God-knows-what who
lined the avenue. -Rather, I crouched
low in my army jacket and sauntered
through in an unabashed attempt to out-
sleaze them all; I convinced myself I
could look as capable of mauling one of
the passers as anyone.
So if you should hit New York this
summer, remember - the natives will
Daily Ph
One can't visit New York without crossing over one of the most popular landmarks of the city, the Brooklyn Bridge. The famous attraction i
that extends across the East River connecting Manhattan Brooklyn.
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ATTENTION STUDENTS:
RESERVE EARLY
'Living in
what is basically a barely-
furnished basketball
court,
the essentials-a
bathroom,
we had all
two mat-
I
U -HAU
MOVING CENTER
U44AUL
U44AUL ! n.
res.g° , r
c tr.
tresses, and five cats, to insure that none
of our little rodent friends made their
rotting way into the premises.'
imagined in the cynical eye of Sam stay calm if you simply pretend you're
Spade - that cold look of resolution one of them. And don't forget another
that says, "Yes, Bud, I am experien- thing: if life in the fast lane is too rough,
ced!" Walking down 42nd Street at 2:00 State Street will still be here when you
a.m. there was little value in offering get back.
travel
Let us turn your
travel dreams
into reality *
NYC: Corned-beef
on white only for
the drooling Okies
By Owen Gleiberman
I
Complete moving service
* FORD
N HANO
" WAR
PlAN
TRUCKS- 10, 12, 16, 20, 24 FT - FREE MOVING GUIDE BOOKLET
DTRUCKS/ FADS/ TOW BARS - FREE ROAD SERVICE ANYWHERE
DROSE AND PACKING CARTONS - ALL SIZE TRAILERS / HITCHES
O DOLLIES/CAR-TOP CARRIERS " INSURANCE/ 16.000 DEALERS
ONE-WAY AND LOCAL ANYWHERE
THERE ARE at least a thousand
ways to visit New York City. Like 1
different species of a single order, the
methods of imbibing New York fall into 1
two categories: to go as a tourist, or as
a New Yorker. The first option offers ;
various possibilities. At the totally
pathetic end of the spectrum, you can 1
behave like Jon Voight at the beginning
of Midnight Cowboy, who sidles up to a
hardened Manhattanite and says, "Ex-
cuse me, ma'am, but could you direct
me to the Statue of Liberty?"
In other parts of the country (i.e., the
Midwest, the South, and most of the
West) this approach proves highly
workable. In New York it may get you 1
to your destination, but almost cer-
tainly"entails undergoing excessive
amounts of humiliation, depending on
the buffoonery of the provocation. No
one, of course, wants to be shown up as
a stupid, drooling Okie.
I can assure you of that, because it's I
happened to me an astounding number.
of times in my few visits to New York,
and it ain't fun. Once, I walked into a
kosher delicatessen and ordered a cor-
ned beef sandwich on white. What did I
know? I think I'd rather have had the
waiter inform me that such a sandwich
simply couldn't be fixed, than take
down the order, mouth the words to
himself, and collapse into a disdainful
grimace when he came to the word
"white." There was a vindictive gleam
in his eye when he brought my meal.
"One corned beef on white," he an-
nounced loudly, placing the apparently
loathsome dish on my table, and
making sure everyone in the place was
aware of what an ignorant bum he had
here.
SOMETIMES, betraying your ignor-
ance can be embarrassing, but con-
venient nonetheless. Take asking for
directions. During spring vacation, my
companion and I wandered over a ten-
block stretch searching for Sixth
Avenue. We came to Fifth Avenue, then
See BIG APPLF; Pale 11
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