Page 4-Thursday, February 1, 1979-The Michigan Daily
I
CONFESS
By Abbie Hoffman
Editor's note: Abbie Hoffman is an alleged fugitive
from justice. He was convicted on a charge of cocaine
possession. He is, perhaps, most remembered as one
of the defendents in the Chicago Conspiracy trial of
1968 which arose from the riots at the Democratic
national convention. He was a key figure in the anti-
war movement. He is, and remains, a hero to some
and a threat to others.
The article is published here with the consent of Mr.
Hoffman. it was first published in Feature magazine.
'M SORRY AND I want to come home. I
love the flag. Blue for 'truth. White for.
right. Red for blood our boys shed in war. I love
my mother. I was wrong to tell kids to kill their
parents. It was the children's fault. Spoiled,
selfish brats made the '60s. We encouraged kids
to leave home. Forgive me, mother. I love
Jesus, the smooth arch of his "back, his long
.blonde curls. Jesus died for all of us, even Jews.
Thank you, Lord. I love Israel as protector of
western civilization. Most of my thinking was
the result of brainwashing by KGB agents. The
FBI was right; the KGB gave us money as well
as training. We met regularly at the Cuban
mission to the U.N.
I hate drugs. They are bad for you. Marijuana
has a terrible effect on the brain. It makes you
forget everything-you learned in school. When
you smoke it's hard to work. I only used it to
lure young virgins into bed. I'm very ashamed
of this. Cocaine is murderous. It makes you sex
crazy and gets uneducated people all worked
up. My friends are kidding themselves when
they say it's non-addictive. The nose knows,
and the nose says no. More people should listen
to their noses and not to rich rock'n'roll singers.
LSD is the work of the Devil. I know many crip-
pled babies whose thoughtless mothers were
hooked on LSD. Laughing gas is no laughing
matter. When it comes to drugs only your doc-
tor knows for sure. Take his advice and pay him
for his service. Stealing is a crime.
Once I burned money at the Stock Exchange.
This was wrong. People work hard to make
money. Even stockbrokers work hard. No one
worked hard in Bangladesh-that's why they are
starving today and we are not. With inflation
everyone works extra hard for their money. It's
not our fault or the fault of the government. If
anyone's to blame it's those Arabs and those
knee-jerking Europeans who cozy to them by
paying their price for oil. We have no choice but1
to go along.1
Long ago I worked for the Negro cause. It was
fashionable. We meant well but got carriedj
away. They just wanted to be left alone
anyway. They love their neighborhoods so
much there are crowds waiting to get in. Buses
are an affront to all people no matter what the
color of their skin. If blacks dont love America
their ancestors shouldn't have been so anxious
to come here. It's not our fault they chained
themselves to ships and ended up in America.
At least they could have taken the time to learn
English ! We are all equal: blacks, whites, even
orientals and women, but the beauty of
democracy is in having so many different
choices. We can all go our separate ways,
equally; black and white, male and female,
rich and poor, healthy and sick. Free choice is
fundamental to our Way of Life.
Communism is evil incarnate. You can see it
in Karl Marx's beady eyes, long nose, and the
sneering smile behind his beard. One-and-a-
half billion people now live in forced slavery.
The only thing good you can observe in com-
munist countries is the art. When their artists
paint pictures of people, you see two eyes, two
ears, and one mouth. Our artists are all perver-
ts except, of course, for Norman Rockwell. And
another thing about communistic pictures: The
people have their clothes on.I'm not against
nudity but there's nothing pretty about naked
bodies. Anatomy should be something doctors
study. Keep it away from our children and
women-folk. Hippies kept taking their clother
off and that's why there are no more hippies.
They all got pneumonia and died. Good riddan-
ce to bad rubbish!
Freedom is a precious right, not to be abused.
Violence does not belong on television unless
it's the news. Murders and rapes should be
reported so people will know just what's hap-
pening on their streets and will be more careful
when they go out. People who commit serious
crimes should not be coddled - the death
penalty is too good for them.
I think our stand on the Panama Canal is a
disgrace. OK, it's their country but it's our
canal. If they want us out it's all right with me,
but we should take our canal with us!
Our system of democracy is the best in the
world. I don't know much about other systems,
but if you pick up the newspaper on turn on the
TV all the others seem to be falling apart. Good
governments don't fall apart so easily. South
Africa's has been there for 300 years. Don't get
me wrong, they're not perfect down there. They t
work hard enough but they should be nicer to
their blacks, especially those who behave. I
believe what Henry Ford said: "Change takes
time." Another 300 years is not too long to wait
for a peaceful change.
Homosexuals live in sin. It says so in the
Bible. Anyone who ever took the time to have a
*r
heart-to-heart talk /with one of these sorry vic-
tims of our permissive society has heard the
pain they've been trying to express. What every
homo needs is a good shoulder to cry upon. In
the meantime, they shoudl be kept away from
children - children easily influenced by New
Yorkers. I love New York as much as anybody.
I certainly admire the ambition that got those
buildings off the ground. It's amazing how New.
Yorkers can eat while they walk, but they do
have strange notions. That's because the U.N.
is in New York and the good people there are
subjected to foreign ideas. If the U.N. was in
Salt Lake City, if Puerto Ricans flooded Utah to
get rich quick on welfare schemer, and if homos
owned all the movie theaters and barber shops
there, you could'd expect anything different.
I believe in women's rights but it should be
done outside the family. Family is the essence
of democracy - destroy one and you destroy
the other.
It's mind-boggling, but being a fugitive I've
seen the way other people live and it's made me
realize just how wrong I was. I've grown up,
too. You know it is when you're young and not in
control. I'd like to go back to school and learn
how to be a credit to the community. I've
always had an itch to become a certified public
accountant and work with the Indians. If Keith
Richards is willing to sing for the blind, I'm
willing to sing for the deaf.
Of course, there's the ,ppcorning operation.
The doctors are not saying one way or the other
but they can't look me in the eye. How could I
'have said all those terrible things about Hubert
Humphrey, rest his soul? Age takes its toll but
it teaches wisdom. When you're in the foxhole
of life, you see things clearer than when the
bands are playing and the crowds cheering. I
realize I can't repair all the damage, but I'm
willing to roll up my sleeves and give it a try (if
the doctors say it'll be OK).
Now can I come back?
Y
420 Maynard St., Ann Arbor, MI 48109
Eighty-Nine Years of Editorial Freedom
Vol. LXXXIX, No. 102 News Phone: 764-0552
Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan
The governed and-
the ungoverned
The nev
C HINESE VICE PREMIER Teng
Hsiao-ping's historic vist to the
United States emphasizes some of the
vast changes occuring in our world.
China, long regarded as a model by
most of the third world, is now trying to
court the world's most powerful nation
as an equal. Will China be successful?
What sacrifices will it have to make
and what sacrifices if any, will the
west make?
Mr. Teng's visit comes at at time
when the world is afire with activity.
On nearly every continent, there are
generally supported revolutionary
movements which aim to produce
world order in which North and South
can be equal. Nationalist movements
in Zimbabwe and South Africa are
dramatic symbols of our changing
world; the success of the OPEC
nations in controlling oil prices is an
extreme expression of how powerful
certain unions can be.
It would be surprising to find world
politics a hundred years still
dominated by the two super-
powers-the United States and the
Soviet Union. The exact economic
boundaries of the -new world order
have not yet been defined, but it is,
clear that now insignificant areas will
v order
imitate the system of either the United
States or the Soviet Union. China was
the first major nation to break away
from this pattern. It rejected both
traditions and decided to forge a path
that glorified peasants and shunned
the ills (and the benefits) of in-
dustrialization. Mgany nations are now
following China's lead; they do not
imitate China but are striving for its
independence.
It is important that the relationship
being built now between the U.S. and
China be founded on a basis of fairness.
Without fairness, China would be
asked to sacrifice too much, namely its
very independence. The U.S. must
recognize it has a stronger position in
the relationship; accordingly, it must
be sensitive to the problems China en-
counters as it expands its economy.
More importantly, the U.S. must per-
mit China to decide its own internal af-
fairs. In trading with China, the U.S
must not concentrate solely lon
reaping a profit, but also enter into
trade for China's benefit. As a prime
actor in the world today, the United
States has a responsibility for helping
poorer nations such as China.
We hope, however, in picking which
technologies to accept and which to
The most salient issue on cam-
pus today is the University
president selection process. It is
a popular issue for the same
reason most past controversial
subjects drew support; the goal is
easily defined. Students - or
rather the Michigan Student
Assembly (MSA) - are deman-
ding, and the faculty supports, a
more active role in the process of
picking a new University
president.
.It seems as though everyone,
save the Regents, wants to make
the system more democratic. But
it is curious then that students
should focus so much attention on
the president selection process
when every facet of the Univer-
sity is undemocratic and affects
their lives much more directly.
The question here is: Why try
to affect change at the top when
the whole system, from the foun-
dation up, is corrupt? Why do
many regard the president selec-
tion process as anything more
than a peripheral issue?
The process by which a new
president is selected is such a
miniscule problem when com-
pared to the dilemma of un-
dergraduate' education or lack
thereof.
So what is the root of the
problem? Even a superficial
analysis of any aspect of the
University and its operation
leads us to see that the University
no longer exists for the benefit of
students, especially un-
dergraduates.
There is at least one individual
who is looking into this problem
with more than just a passing
analysis. His name is Bob
Honigman. Mr. Honigman
graduated from the University in
1958 with a degree in business
administration. When he was a
housing demand. He began to
research what happened. His ef-
fort has produced a 1,000-page
book which documents the ad-
ministration's decision-making
process. Through his research he
has developed some interesting
theories.
His major thesis is
provocative: "The University is
not deeply motivated to respond
to student needs and problems
and usually does so only under
the most obvious and compelling
pressures. Its primary concern is
with its public image, its sources
of funds, and the convenience,
security and welfare of its faculty
and administrative personnel."
Mr. Honigman believes that
this statement does not reflect on
the morality of the persons who
administer the University.
"Rather, it is a commentary on
the , capacity of large
bureaucratic organizations to
corrupt their personnel ... that
is, when they govern without the
consent of the governed."
Mr. Honigman says that it is
not the usual type of corruption
which involves money. Money,
after all, is only a means, not an
end. The money can be used to
buy power, security, freedom,
status, and comfort.
"But what if those who occupy
positions of power within an in-
stitution can achieve these goals,
not by accepting bribes or kcik-
backs, but by restructuring the
institution to provide these things
directly in addition to their nor-
mal salary," Mr. Honigman
asks. "Then we have corruption
of a kind that exists far more
commonly than we suspect in
most human organizations - a
non-monetary corruption, but all
the more powerful a'nd harder to
detect, and far more pervasive
just because it is so subtle and
can be so easily rationalized and
justified by the official who is
corrupted."
Of course, the test of Mr.
Honigman's thesis would be to
apply it to any decision the
University administration has'
made. Undergraduate education
is a good example. The first two
years of a student's career at the
University are usually spent in
mammoth lecture halls where
professors talk at their pupils
through microphones so the
students in the back rows can
hear. Discussion sections in these
classes generally hold about thir-
ty students'- far too many for a
substantive exchange of new
ideas. Moreover, these sections
are taught by Teaching Assistan-
ts who' lack teaching and
educational experience.
Professors are rarely seen in
these classes. It would seem that
younger, less experienced
students would need the most at-
tention rather than the least. But
that would mean drastic changes
ijihow the University operates.
The third and fourth years of an
undergraduate's career are not
much better than the first two.
Classes are small and there is
more contact with professors, but
papers are often graded by
teaching assistants. When a
professor does grade' research
papers there is a great tendency
to merely assign a grade. How of-
ten do students get'papers back
with a note from the professor
saying, "A fine paper; B"? Such '
remarks 'do not provide a
valuable learning experience for
the student.
Undergraduates are
mistreated in ways outside of
classes. The housing crisis is still
ignored by the administration;
dorm food is overpriced and un-
dernourishing. It should be no
wonder why students pay as
much as they do to see a Univer-
sity football game and still sit in
the end zones..
Theanswer to all these
problems is not simple. There is
no panacea; regardless of what
students do now there is little or
no hope that changes would be
quick. All that can be done at this
point to create an informed
student body. Only if students
are aware of the problems and
causes can they at least begin to
resist the administration's tac-
tics and force the University to,
provide the education which it
In defense of campus rebels
Lifelong dissent has more than acclimated me cheerfdlly
to defeat. It'has made me suspicious of victory. I see every
insight degenerating into a dogma, and fresh thoughts
freezing into lifeless party line. Those who set out nobly to be
their brother's keeper sometimes end up by becoming their
jailer. Every emancipation has in it the seeds of a new
slavery. But these perspectives, which seem so irrefutably
clear from a pillar in the desert, are worthless to those en-
meshed in the struggle. They are no better than mystical
nonsense to the humane student who has to face his draft
board, the dissident soldier who is determined not to fight,
the black who sees his people doomed by shackles stronger
I