VEN THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 1966 THE MICHIGAN DAILY PAGE 5EV TIlE MICItIE~AN DAIlY PA(F gF'q 1 *. 7G ( t~ THE JUNIOR CIRCUIT By GRAYLE HOWLETT MSU-ND: Trot out the Cliches Drag out every super superlative ever used. Copy every great phrase turned by the immortal Grantland Rice. Incorporate every one-liner Jim Murray has used for a laugh. All you have to do is chance the names, date, and place. This week all sports copy will start out EAST LANSING- and carry such names as Smith, Jones, Eddy, Webster, Hanratty and Seymour. The Michigan State-Notre Dame game should bring back the all time great cliches. "Game of games," "battle of the century," "a real bruiser," "dream game"-all these linguistical gems bring a tear to the. eye. However, too many sportswriters are intent on keeping a definite pattern for the big game. Call it nostalgia, if you want, but if it was good enough forRing Lardner for the Army-Navy games in 1920's, it must be good enough today. What'd They Say? But in an unprecented break from tradition, the items expressed here are the actual facts, what was really said. For instance: News release: "We respect Michigan State's defense," a Notre Dame coach was quoted as saying earlier today. Actual quote: "Respect it! We've had Conjar and Eddy on benzadrine all week. State's defense is so tough that if they were on the German's side in World War II they could've spotted the Allied troops on the one-yard line outside of Berlin and kept them out. We're equipping our offensive line with bottles of Adolph's meat tenderizer. The turning point of this game could be whether or not Duffy decides to feed them this week." News release: The general concensus from East Lansing is that the fact that Notre Dame is steeped in tradition will have no effect on the outcome. Actual story: Three Michigan State football players reported last night that Knute Rockne paid them an unexpected visit and warned them that if they felt they had any chance of winning he'd reincarnate the "Win it for the Gipper" speech. Another MSU player 1 said he heard "echos cheering Notre Dame's name." A befuddled State, back contends that very night "four horseman ride by my window shouting we're No. 1. Man, I can't get any sleep. It sounds like they're shaking down the thunder from the sky."1 News release: A Notre Dame spokesman stated that, "We haven't especially pointed to this game." Actual statement: "Don't think it hasn't been a problem, keeping their minds on Michigan State with the lunch meat we've been feeding them every week. Duke! That game was enough to convincei them that they's great. We kept telling them to save their energy for this week, but, no, they had to keep scoring. It's enough to ruin our indoctrination program of playing back last year's State game for them every night in their sleep. It's tough scheduling nine scrim- mages for just one game." News release: When asked if it was hard getting the team up for Indiana a week before the Notre Dame game, a MSU coach replied, "We play them all one at a time." Actual reply: "Not really. You see, in route to Bloomington we took a side trip through South Bend just to keep the boy's minds alert. We promised Bubba the Golden Dome if we won and Webster gets the statue of Father Corby for a towel rack. Just in case they remembered that they were playing against Indiana, Duffy mis- takingly referred to the Hoosiers in his pre-game speech as Notre Dame'three times. Lord knows we've tried. We won't even let them eat meat on Friday." News release: One Notre Dame student when asked if the campus isn't a little extreme when the Irish won, chortled: "We're really just like every other campus-we just love to win." Actual chortle: "Are you kidding? We claim all prizes. What other school would think of moving the' girl's campus (St. Mary's College) onto ours-bodily after we beat Oklahoma in '57. We would have done it too if they hadn't called out the National Guard. That was a good one. But we have some better ones planned this time. We figure the Notre Dame campus might look'better'down at St. Mary's. Extreme? We invented football fever down here." News release: One worker in the Michigan State Ticket Office was heard to say: "Even with the many disappointed people who didn't get tickets, they still were cooperative and understanding. We've got the greatest fans in the world." Actual overhearing: "Talk about fans! Three years ago we couldn't give tickets away. Now a big game and. we're expected to produce a million extra seats. People that don't get a ticket resort to everything. Last night I was shadowed by three of them trying to collect blackmail data. My banker threatened to foreclose if I didn't deliver a couple right' on the fifty. My dentist was more reasonable. He wouldn't let off the drill til' I promised two on the forty. I had to promise my daughter three extra so I'd get the bath- room in the morning. Let's hear it for fans." What's New? It's not on-the-serene-and-ivy-covered-walls-of-the-Notre-Dame- campus stuff but it probably presents best the honest flavor of the game. Gosh, fellas, isn't it about time we abandoned what has been said before? Huh? Say, I got some great ones. How about: "It was not a day'for the timid as the monsters from ... ." Or, "Reaching back into the past, the Fighting Irish... ." Or, "Both teams quickly proved that they came to play when . . . . " Or, "Outlined against a blizzardly November sky the terrific duo zoomed again . . . ." On ... Track Special To The Daily NEW YORK - Arbitrator Kheel warded off an impeni flare-up in the five-year-old ti feud between the Amateur 2 :etic Union andFthe United St Track and Field Federation terday by forming a special man committee to reconsider problems of track and field." Kheel, noted labor mediator chairman of the Sports Arbil tion Board appointed by Hu Humphrey last December to mo ate the vendetta. Kheel appeared optimistic al a possible settlement of the f( after surviving a threate walkout by the USTFF: "I ant pate that many of the probl of making track and field n effective will be achieved by committee. Union "This is the first time all terested parties in track and I have constituted one committee which all the problems in tr and field can be considered. "I can't say it's the answer all the problems but it may. be. The USTFF, which represi the major college track progra has long demanded that the A allow "free competition in hold track meets on the graduate if and freedom of choice for the a lete as to what organization wants to represent him after graduates." The AAU,, which holds United States franchise in the ternational Amateur Athletic F eration, has opposed any "usu tion of its traditional power" Kheel's committee is expecte< consider such issues as scheduli selection of. the internatic coaches and invitation procedi for domestic and internatic meets in the context of the cent questions. Issue by Issue Kheel reported that both AAU and USTFF agreed to deb the feud issue by issue in a ho n c + i t i FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 1966 8:00 P.M. AUDITORIUM A RECEPTION Immediately Folowing ANGELL HALL at NEWMAN'CENTER, 331 Thox rpson CAMPUS 619 E. Liberty St. Open Monday Nights PROMENADE 121 S. Main St. Open Monday and Friday. Nights .. _. .. .. } s7 OKl Thery'ouaCeranprd "Bu.siness is for the birds!"' 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