PAGE MOOT

THE MICHIGAN ft)AILt

. FRIDAY, APRIL 14, 1967

PAGE EIGHT THE MICH1GAN~AIL1 FRIDAY, APRIL 14. 1967



the kitchen cynic
RICK STERN

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A Rare Adventure in
fThe Land of Academiat
Sitting in one of my important 400 level courses WednesdayG
afternoon, a most astonishing thing happened. It may look like ar
legend or a contrived situation, but I swear the incident is as true
as the heart that relates it. (See photo below)c
I was sitting in a lecture of about 50 kids next to this really good
looking girl who- I had never sat next to before and had nevert
noticed or known either.
Five minutes after the class started, when I was just delvingl
into my repertoire of tine-passing day dreams trying to find a
suitable one, the blond turned, looked me square in the face and
said "Smile!" I thought she was talking to the girl on the left t
of me so I leaned back in my chair to allow them to continue.
Amaflingly, she said it again,-looking straight at me.
"I beg your pardon," I said, quickly looking around the roomt
to see if something funny was going on that I had missed. She said
it again so I asked her why I should smile.-
"Just because no one ever does it around here."t
I tried to oblige but produced only a weak and sickly grin.
In the meantime, others in the class gave us the old "Shut up,
this isn't the UGLI" look and,=after regaining my cool, I pulled out
a sheet of paper and scribbled. "Do people smile in other classes??"
She almost grabbed the paper out of my hand and answered
"not since October, 1966: There was a funny teacher in one class c
and one day three people smiled. They were immediately 'sus-
pended."3
My face sort of contracted and a little sound emerged from it.
"Watch out-you're doing it!" she penned hastily,
The teacher stared at me again and the blond noticed. and wrote
. 's funny, isn't he? Depending on how you look at things Ii
guess)." It was a Sociology class and the prof had spent two thirdsI
of the lectures trying to prove that he had a sociologically normal
relationship with his wife.3
I answered, "He has a funny manner about him. But my GRADE
Isn't even slightly amusing, a 19 (C-) on the mid-term. So WHY ;
should I smile??"
"I got a 21," she volunteered. "Most of the brilliant people
in the course got low scores. But who cares?"
Sensing a chance to be impressive, I wrote, "If I had cared, I
might have glanced at the reading."
She thought I was depressed; "I even read it all, and still got
21. Think of all the time you saved."
"You're just not as brilliant as me!" I scrawled.
"Wrong. I'm more brilliant because if I had done no reading
would have gotten a lower score than you. Remember the
negative correlation between score and brilliance."
Beaten, I acceded. "Your logic has me dumbfounded! fits im-
peccable."
"What does that mean," she said and drew a little arrow. Hastily
I drew a line from "Who cares?" down to her question. She elaborated
"I only spend my time learning important thing. Thus my ignorance
of implccable and score'of 21 "
Since it was a Soc. class and I capitalized to try and get cute.
"Sounds like your values' differ from the norm somewhat."
"One Hell of a lot . . . Sory, this was an intentional breech of
norms." She circled the word "hell." "I feel ashamed and/or guilty."
I changed the subject. "Youve wre'cked this class for me. I had
planned to pay attention for the first time in six weeks. And now
r can't!"
Wiser than I, she had the last word and was delightfully
close to the truth. "Don't put me on. If it weren't for me you'd
be asleep!!"
My roommate had the real last word though, when I told him
what had happened. "It could never happen to me," he explained,
"because I never go to class"

Wolverines
Host Area
Tracksters
By PHIL BROWN
Michigan cindermen, who par-
ticipated in their first outdoor
meet of the season last weekend,
will host their first home meet to-
morrow under the banner of the
Michigan Federation Open Meet.
A field of 350 entries from a
dozen midwest colleges and uni-
versities will compete in the meet
to be held at Ferry Field. Schools'
entered include Michigan State,
Notre Dame, Bowling Green, East-
ern Michigan, Western Michigan,
Wayne State, Toledo, Hillsdale,
Detroit, and Spring Arbor, in addi-
tion to the host Wolverines.
Six field events will be held,
starting at noon. These include
the discus, shotput, pole vault,
long jump,:high jump and triple
jump. The running events will get
underway at 1 p.m., with compe-
tition in five individual races and
five relays.
The Events
Individual races include the
100-yard dash, 120-yard high hur-
dles, 440-yard intermediate hur-
dles, the 3000-yard -steeplechase,
and the 3-mile run. 440, 880, mile,
2-mile, and 4-mile relays will be
run.
The Wolverines were impressive
in the Kentucky Relays last week-
end, when they competed against
many of the teams they will face
tomorrow. Especially notable in
the southern meet were the mid-
dle-distance runners from Notre
Dame and. Western Michigan's
sprinters and hurdlers.
It will be Michigan's first look
at conference rival Michigan
State.

HAWKS WIN 4-3:


MontreatSweeps Semi's
By The Associated Press shot. Goyette evened it for the Less than five minutes later the
NEW YORK - Rugged John Rangers on a power play when Hawks went ahead 2-1 and on
Ferguson broke up a fiercely he poked a bouncing puck and Pierre Pilot's goal, but again it
checking game with a sudden just got' it past Montreal's rookie was a short-lived lead when Tim
death goal in an overtime period, goalie Rogatien Vachon. Hortonscored for Toronto on a
lifting the rampaging MontrealM power play.
Canadiens to a 2-1 victory and a Hawks Tie Series AfterNesterenko broke the 2-2
four-straight sweep of their Stan- ti. BbbyHuleslmmerhoees
ley Cup semi-final series against TORONTO - Eric Nesterenko's insurance shot. It proved to be a
the New York Rangers last night, tie-breaking goal in the third per- necessary goal as Mike Walton
The victory moves them into the iod helped carry the Chicago Black scored for the Maple Leafs in the
final round against the survivor of Hawks to a 4-3 victory over the closing minutes of play.

Area Distributors for

KLH
KENWOOD
121 W. Washington

- JENSEN
AR-DYNA
668-7942


across from Old German Restaurant

the Chicago-Toronto series.
Ferguson charged into the Ran-
ger zone with linemates Ralph
Backstrom and Claude Larose 6
minutes into the overtime session.
Ranger goalie Ed Giacomin slid
out to stop Backstrom's shot but
was in no position to cover the
rebound which went in.
Trembley put the Canadiens
ahead midway through the open-
ing period with a 50-foot slap

Toronto Maple Leafs last night
in the Stanley Cup playoffs, tying
the best-of-seven semifinal series
at two games each.
The game started fast vvith Bil
Kenny Wharram scofing for Chi-
cago nine seconds after the open-I...."'
ing faceoff. There m
Toronto tied it at the 3:52 mark the Tang
with Dave Keon putting a long scheduled
left-handed slap shot past goalie tests will
Glenn Hall. 3 p.m. in

will be no meeting
-Soo Karate Club
for today. Promot
be given Saturday
Jones School.

of
as
Lion
at

Direct from Greenwich Village
THE B LU E'S PROJECT
and Bob Salinger's
THE NEW RELIGION
at University of Toledo Field House
8:00 P.M. Students 50c
April 20, 1967 Non-students $2.00

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0

Major League
Standings
AMERICAN LEAGUE
W L Pct. GB
Baltimore 2 0 1.000 -
Kansas City 1 0 1.000 1/2
Boston 1 1 .500 1
New York 1 1 .500 1
Washington 1 1 .500 1
x-California 1 1 .500 1
Detroit 1 1 .500 1
Chicago 1 1 .500 1
x-Cleveland 0 1 .000 11
Minnesota 0 2 .000 2
x-Late game not included.
YESTERDAY'S RESULTS
Baltimore 7, Minnesota 1
Chicago 8, Boston 5
Cleveland at California (inc)
Only games scheduled
NATIONAL LEAGUE
W L Pct. GB
Cincinnati 2 0 1.000 -
Houston 2 1 .667 ?!4
St. Louis 1 0 1.000 J
Pittsburgh 1 1 .500 1
Chicago 1 1 .500 1
New York 1 1 .500 1
Philadelphia 1 1 .500 1
San Francisco 1 1 .500 1
Los Angeles 0 1 .000 114
Atlanta 0 3 .000 2z'
YESTERDAY'S RESULTS
Cincinnati 5, Houston 4
New York 3, Pittsburgh 2
Philadelphia at Chicago (ppd, rain)
San Francisco 2, Atlanta 0
Los Angeles at St. Louis (ppd, rain)

i

BEFORE YOU BUY
See the
JOHN ROBERTS
College Ring
ULRICH'S
Your Friendly Bookstore

The Proof

-- .....-.....


0

Stand in the Sea of Glass and Fire
with the Aiazin Seventh Seal

Culver Pictures. Inc.

How do you tell her you're out of Schlitz?

ONE NIGHT ONLY! Sa

turday-Apri I

15

1 11

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