PAGE TWO THE MICHIGAN DAILY WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, IA6G ,., TOTEMIHGNDIY ENSAFERAY916 DULL, UNFUNNY: Garg Bombs Again' . '. r. . r.}r;:?}"f .Z". F:. "..... .}. .:.:" N"... .rn DAILY OFCILBULLETIN onFTFrsIAFe. 1:at: By STEVE WILDSTROM The new Gargolye is so totally unfunny that one cannot even attack it with any levity. Today's issue of the self- proclaimed humor magazine is 36 pages long. Of those 36 pages, four are full pages of paid ad- vertising, six are a reprint from the California Pelican, and two are Daily columns by James Schutze which the Daily has taste enough not to run. As it is stated so well in the editor's note to "The Gargoyle Philosophy," "Due to his immense knowledge on the subject, Mr. Wardner had to steal most of his ideas from other articles." The magazine follows its philosophy well. Bering; The key word of the Gargolye is boredom. It is neither so bad that one can get excited about it nor is it good enough to be en- joyable. It reeks of mediocrity. One would think that with only 24 pages to fill with copy and weeks on end to complete the job, the Gargoyle staff could come up with a far more exciting and original publication than they do. Satire Fails There are several reasons why Gargoyle's attempts at satire fail so pitibly. First, many of the objects of satire just aren't very funny. The draft and the Viet Nam war fall neatly into this clas- sification. Lampooning of such serious topics must be done with great skill and finesse, qualities which the Garg is not noted for. Second, there are a few topics which have simply been run into the ground. Michigan State Uni- versity and 'Doc' Losh ("The Le- gion of Saviors . . ."), "The Play- boy Philosophy" (The Gargoyle Philosophy), and another version of chutes and ladders are sub- jects which have just about had it. Heavy-handed treatment of cli- ched topics will not leave readers rolling on the Diag. Gargads The Gargadsrshow a level of sophistication that would be con- sidered underdeveloped in high school students. The "Croke" ad, together with its totally incom- prehensible picture, is an excel- lent example of this. The four part "Grape-o" ad isn't much better. The Gargads are, in fact, an insult to the magazine's read- ers. Expecting University students to be amused by such utter in- anity is calling for quite a lot. The problem with Gargolye is not that the magazine is stupidly funny (as, for example, "Bat- man") or tastelessly funny (like the "Realist")--although the Garg can be and is both stupid arnd tasteless. The major problem is that the magazine just is not funny at all. If you have a quarter to burn, buy a copy, but the typos in the Daily will probably do more to brighten your day. .Across Campus WEDNESDAY, FEB. 9 8:30 p.m. - The University Noon-Steve Aronson, major- Chanber Orchestra, with Nicholas ing in Russian studies, discusses Harsanyi as guest conductor, pre- B. F. Skinner's "Walden Two" in seats a concert at Hill Aud. Room 2417 Mason Hall. 8:30 p.m.--MUSKET presents 4 p.m.-George W. Nace, De- "West Side Story" in the Lydia partment of Zoology, speaks on Mendelssohn Theater. "Molecular Problems of Develop- THURSDAY, FEB. 10 ment as Revealed by Immuno- 2:15 p.m.-M. E. Bitterman of chemical Serendipity" in 1400 Bryn Mawr College speaks on Chemistry Bldg. "Some Relationships Between 7 and 9 p.m.-Cinema Guild pre- Classical and Avoidance Condi- sents a special free showing of tioning" in 1057 MHRI. D. W. Griffith's "America" in the 7 and 9 p.m.-Cinema Guild pre- Architecture Aud. sents Ron Rice's "The Flower 7:30 pm.-Brice Carnahan, De- Thief" in the Architecture Aud. partments of Chemical engineer- 8 p.m.-Neil H. Jacoby, from ing and Biostatistics, speaks on UCLA, speaks on "Wage Price "An Introduction to Digital Com- Guideposts vs. Fiscal and Mone- puters and the MAD Language" tary Policies to Curb Inflation" in the Natural Science Aud. k in 131 Business Adm. Bldg. 8 p.m.- Dr. Michael DeBakey, 8 p.m:-The Travel Film Series chairman of the Department of is "Our Spectacular Canyon Surgery at the Baylor University County," to be shown in Aud. A, College of Medicine, speaks on the Angell Hall. development of an artificial heart, 8:30 p.m. - PTP Play of the in the third floor amphitheatre Month is "The Subject Was of the Medical Science Bldg. Roses," to be held at Hill Aud. Read and Uses Michigan Daily Classif ieds The Daily Official Bulletin is an official publication of the Univer- sity of Michigan, for which The Michigan Daily assumes no editor- ial responsibility. Notices should be sent in TYPEWRITTEN form to Room 3519 Administration Bldg. be- fore 2 p.m. of the day preceding publication, and by 2 p.m. Friday for Saturday and Sunday. General Notices may be published a maxi- mum of two times on request; Day Calendar items appear once only. Student organization notices are not accepted for publication. WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 9 Day Calendarj Programmed Learning for Business Workshop-Michigan Union, 8:30 a.m.s Dept. of Zoology Seminar-George W. Nace, Dept. of Zoology, "Molecular Problems of Development as Revealed by Immunochemical Serendipity": 1400 Chemistry Bldg., 4 p.m. Cinema-Guild Special Free Showing -D. W. Griffith's "America": Archi- tecture Aud., 7 and 9 p.m. College of Engineering Computer Lec- ture-Brice Carnahan, Depts. of Chem- ical Engineering and Biostatistics, "An Introduction to Digital Computers and the MAD Language": Natural Sci- ence Aud.,'7:30 p.m. School of Music Concert-University Chamber Orchestra, Nicholas Harsan- yi, guest conductor; Robert Courte, vio- la; Angel Reyes, violin: Hill Aud., 8:30 p.m. Lecture-Wed., Feb. 12 noon: Steve Aronson, majoring in Russian studies, will discuss B. F., Skinner's "Walden Two" in Rm. 2417 Mason Hall. 5-Hour Special Topics in Chemistry -7th Series: Dr. Hans H. Brintzinger, University of Basel, Switzerland, will speak on "Metal Catalyzed Reactions." The last topic of the series will be "Mechanisms of Some Metallo-enzymic Reactions," to be held on Wed., Feb. 9 at 8 p.m. in Rm. 1300 Chemistry Bldg. General Notices Thursday Tea: The regular Thursday Tea usually held at the International Center from 4:30 to 6 p.m. will in- stead be held at the Alpha Gamma Delta House, 1322 Hill St., on Feb. 10. A Kappa Kappa Gamma Fraternity Fellowship in an amount up to $350 le available for application by young women who will be doing graduate work in some area of rehabilitation- speech therapy, occupational or physi- cal therapy, or medicine. This, would include work with the mentally re- tarded. Applicants must be citizens of the United States or Canada, not over 30 years old, and have high scholastic standing. This award is for undergraduate students who have com- pleted two years of undergraduate work on a campus where a chapter of this fraternity is located. Applica- tions may be obtained from Mrs. Flor- ence Lyons. 2011 BAB and must be returned to her office by Feb. 24. Linguistics Lecture: Prof. Gene M. Schramm will speak on "Sub-Phonetic Correspondences in Distantly Related Languages," Thurs., 7:30 p.m., Feb. 10. A Kappa Kappa Gamma Fraternity Fellowship in the amount of $500 is available for application by any wom- an student not over 30 years of age who has received her bachelor's de. gree or will obtain it prior to July 1 of this year and who is a citizen of the U.S .or Canada. The applicant should have high scholastic standing and have made a real contribution to the life of the University. Applications may be obtained from Mrs. Florence Lyons, 2011 SAB and must be returned to her office by Feb. 24. Colloquium: Prof. Edward J. Bair, Indiana University, will speak on "Vi- brational Contributions to Reaction Rates," p.m. in Bldg. PLACEMENT INTERVIEWS: Bureaur of Appointments-Seniors & grad stu-a dents, please call 764-7460 for appoint. ments with the following: MON., FEB. 14-- . American Hospital Supply Corp., Evanston, II1.-Men, BA's & advanced degrees in Gen. Lib. Arts, Astro., Econ., Journ., Physics, Soc. Work, Educ., Pub-I lic Health, Pharm., Nat, Res. (Wood Tech., Forestry, Conservation), Micro- biol., Biochem. & Chem. Positions in mgmt. trng., Mkt. Res., Merchandising, Personnel, Prod., Public Admin., Pur- chasing, Sales (inside & territorial). ILocations throughout U.S. U.S. or Canadian citizenship required. Pacific Mutual Life fn,;urance Co., Los Angeles, Calif.-Men. MA's & BA's in Gen. Lib. Arts, Econ., Journ., Math, etc. for Insurance-home office, per- sonnel, mgmt. trng., territorial sales. investments: security analyst trainee (p.m. only). Civil Service Comm. of Canada, Ot- tawa, Ontario-MA's & PhD's in An- thro., Astro., Geog., Geol., Math, Phys-c ics, Public Health, Wood Tech., For-i estry, Cons., Wildlife Mgmt., Microbiol., Biochem. & Chem. Positions in scien- tific res. All nationalities are invitedc to interview: primary interest in Ca-3 nadians. Applications for Canadian Civ- il Service must be filled out before interview-available at Bureau of Ap-r pointments.c Chemical Bank New York Trust Co., N.Y.C.-April grads, degrees in Econ., Engl. & Poll. Set for banking posi-1 tions.c Shell Oil Co., Houston, Tex.-BA'sR & MA's in Gen. Lib. Arts & Econ. forv elec. computing, personnel, purchasing,b statistics, transport., finance & admin.a Throughout U.S.S TUES., FEB. 15- Shell Oil Co., Cleveland, Ohio-Men. Degrees in gen. lib. arts & econ. forv inside & territorial sales.8 International Milling Co., Minneap- olis, Minn.-Men. Degrees In Gen. Lib. Arts & Foreign Languages (esp. Span- ish). BA's & MA's in Math. Positions in foreign trade, mgmt. trng., prod., terri- torial sales & finance. Midwest or Eastn locations.f U.S. Civil Service Comm., Detroit - Any lib. arts degree. Positions with federal govtj through Federal Servicer Entrance Exam. Career opportunities in 60 fields. Great Lakes Naval Training Center,J Great Lakes, 111.-Trainee positions in . supply, mgmt. & budget analysis, com- puter office & personnel for Electronic Supply Office.e Social Security Admin., Chicago -E on Thurs., Feb. 10 at 8 t Rm. 1300 of the ChemistryI Placement ter of full-time teaching. WED., FEB. 16- International Business Machines Corp., Detroit-BA's & MA's in Astro., Chem., Math, Physics Engrg. & all scientific disciplines. Positions include Elec, com- puting, mgmt. trng., sales, statistics, mktg. repres., systems programming & analysis in the field of space, intelli- gence command, communications, etc. Located in Detroit, Wash., D.C. & other major cities. Connecticut General Life Insurance Co., Hartford, Conn.-BA & MA's in Gen. Lib. Arts, Psych., Econ., etc. for Insurance, inside & territorial sales. Sales & sales mgmt. positions in major U.S. cities. U.S. citizenship not req. J. Walter Thompson, N.Y.C.-Eng- -BA's in Econ. & all degree levels in lish majors or anyone with creative Math for Mgmt. Trng., Bus. Systems writing ability for copy writing. & Op. Res. (p.m. only). Needham Harper & Steers, Chicago- Merck & Co., Rahway, N.J. - Men Men, degrees in Gen. Lib. Arts for with degrees in Gen. Lib. Arts & Chem. advtg., mgmt. trng., & agency account. for territorial sales. Locations in Cen- Locations include N.Y.C. & Chicago. tral U.S. U.S. citizenship not required. Financial Programs, Inc., Livonia, THURS., FEB. 17- Mich.-BA's in Gen. Lib. Arts, Econ., Chase Manhattan Bank, N.Y.C. - Law, Lib. Science, etc. for Insurance Men, BA's & adv. degrees in Gen. Lib. Mgmt, Trng., Sales-inside & Register- Arts, Econ., & Law for positions in ed Repres. Primarily S.E. Michigan lo- banking in N.Y.C. & overseas branches. cations. International Business Machines Corp., Honeywell, Inc., Minneapolis, Minn. Detroit-See above. -BA & adv. degrees in Econ., Math & Household Finance, Southfield, Mich. Philo. for Territorial Sales & Data -Men. Degrees in Gen. Lib. Arts & Processing Trainees. Located in De- Fine Arts for positions in banking, troit. Chicago, Wellesley, Mass. mgmt. trng. & public admin. - FRI., FEB. 18-- FEB. 16 & 17 Only at The STATE THEATRE 6 PERFORMANCES ONLY! TICKETS ON SALE NOW1 AN ACTUAL PERFORMANCE OF THE NATIONALTHEATRE OF GREAT BRITAIN LAURENCE OLI VEER OTHElliLLO A B. REPRODUTIN MAGGIE JOYCE FRANK SMITH REDMANaFINAY STUART SURGE A ' AEOC LLNs JOHN BRABOURNE 1:30 Show........$1.50 4:30 Special Student Show.............$1.00 8:00 Show ........$2.25 Purchase Tickets in Advance! Be sure of a Seat! I ORGANIZATION NOTICES USE OF THIS COLUMN FOR AN- NOUNCEMENTS is available to official- ly recognized and registered student organizations only. Forms are available in Room 1011 SAB.j * * * Engineering Council, Concert andI committee reports, Feb. 9, 7:30 p.m., 3529 SAB.4 Joint Judiciary Council, Weekly meeting, Feb. 9, 7:15 p.m., 3rd fl. council room, SAB.I Campus Young Socialist Alliance, Discussion on Viet Nam, "Negotiation or Withdrawal?" at 8 p.m., Feb, 19 Michigan Union, Room 3R-S. Speakers will be Anatol Rapoport, mathematical biologist at U. of M., and Lew Jones, a national committee member of the Young Socialist Alliance.{ * * * Guild House, Comparative Christianj worship (Roman Catholic), Feb. 9, 7:30- 8:30 p.m., 802 Monroe. * ,'* jFrench Club, Le Baratin, Jeudi, 3-5 p.m., 3050 Frieze Bldg. Venez tous. Graduate Student Council, Business1 meeting, Feb, 9, 7 p.m., East Con- ference Rm., Rackham Bldg. *1 * 4 Chevron Chemical Co., San Fran- cisco-BA & MA's in Gen. Lib. Arts, Chem. & 'Lib. Science. Positions in territorial sales & ass't, librarian (part- time lib. & part-time literature res). Various locations throughout U.S. after trng. in S.F. Will consider those with permanent visas, Div. of Standard Oil of Calif. Detroit Bank & Trust, Detroit-BA & MA's in Gen. Lib. Arts, Econ. & Speech for mgmt. trng. & banking programs starting with commercial credit & international loan depts. Atlantic Refining Co., Phila., Pa. SHOWS AT 1:30-4:30-8:00 P.M. Matinees-$1.25 Eves, & Sun.-$1.50 NOW EVERYONE CAN SEE THE MOST LOVERLY MOTION PICTURE OF ALL TIME I ENDS TONIGHT 99 THURSDAY- "THE LOVED ONE" TICKETS NOW ON Campus, Michigan & offices. SALE at the State Box- Patronize the Daily Advertisers PETITION NOW for the CINEMA GUILD BOARD Sign up on the Cinema Guild office door, 2538 S.A.B. until February 12 ip E Newman Student Association, Ecu- menical Dialogue group discussion "What Are Laymen in the Church For -Or Are They?'_ 8:30 p.m., Guild, House, 802 Monroe. * * * Bahai Student Group, Fireside: "Why Have Religions Caused Wars?" Speak- er: Dr. William Hatcher, University of Toledo, Fri., Feb. 11, 8:15 p.m., 1421 W. Claims Authorizer Trainee. Review & Liberty. Transportation from SAB at decide on eligibility of claimant to 7:45 p.m. Refreshments served. justify payment of benefits. Benefit * * Examiner Trainee, Evaluate evidence to Inter-Quadrangle Council/Assembly determine right to continue payments, Association, House Presidents' meeting. etc. to beneficiary. Feb. 10, 7 p.m., League. Social Security Admin., Ann Arbor{ * * j -Social Insurance Repres. Relate soc. Student Counseling Seminar, Spon- security program to circumstances of sored byUAC and LSA Steering Com- each person interviewed. Classroom & mittee, Wed., Feb. 9, 2-5 p.m., Union on-the-job training. Ballroom, Johns Hopkins Univ., Baltimore, Md. - Students for Master of Arts in VOICE, General membership, Feb. 9, Teaching Program, offered to grads 7:30 p.m., 3G Union. who have not completed teacher train-* * * ing & who wish to qualify for high University Lutheran Chapel, 1511 school teaching. Receive both teacher Washtenaw, Wed. evening devotion, 11. certif. & M.A.T. Fellowships awarded Pastor A. Scheips, speaker, "To the to each of 50 applicants selected. Sal- Rescue of a Martyr." Casual dress. All aries paid to student for one semes- welcome. 44 I, FREE SHOWING I SWednesday, Feb. 9 at 7 and 9 ' * TK * D- W. GRIFFITH'S TheI 1"he1 69r1anFlm" * I'N THEARCHITECTURE AUOITORIUM 4 ADM ISSION: FIFTY C ENTS * 'K ******************** * Winner of 8 Academy Awards including Best Picture. AUR0HERN 'EXHAISON t~ ,Mir NICOLOR' PROFESSIONAL THEATRE PROGRAM presents P U LITZ ER PR IZ E WINNER-1965 Dennis 0'i rhe MOION PICCURE WiT SOMEthiNG tO OFFEND EVERYO WE1 Metro-Goldwyn-May.earnd Pitmwaysprsns atiin stohoff'sProduction The i.otaQn ROBERT MORSE -JONATHAN WINTERS-ANJANETTE COMER DanAndre s.MitonBerle.JamesCobhrn.JohnGielgudTabHunter.MargaretLeightonF Liberace -Roddy McowaiRobeut Morley'Barbara Nichols-LionelStander ROD u 'IGER.=4 pa..,wyTerry Southern ad Christopher Isherwood M RicAvdea TA ' R Ti John URDeyad A YhskehCWeAPer. Diiw~dbyouySTARTS THURSDAY at the CAMPUS INTHE SUBJECT WAS with z ROSS B N.Y. DRAMA CRITICS' BEST PLAY-1965 Peter Duryea ROSES ikE. Gilroy iMh piJ }t 0 Li, Thursday, Feb. 10 HILL AUDITORIUM 8:30 .M.A BOX OFFICE OPEN 10-5 We've PLOTTED for months And soon (16 days) our SCHEME will unfold. p" mIE -r F- El m - peration liii s " -trigue ri fi is the name of the plan Feb. 25-26 are the rendezvous dates FEB. 19, 1966 HILL AUDITORIUM 8:30 P.M. Ai N:r rl f' TODAY'S CODE.e All secret agents will go "North by Northwest" ond meet 0 M :.