PAGE TWO THE MICHIGAN DAILY TIIT1RST)AY~ DFflFThTflI~'P9 1Oi~ BOND SPQOF: Stupidities Abound In 'Bikini Machine' By STEVEN HALLE~ At The State Theater In a refreshing chance of pace from the recent trend toward showing Ann Arbor audiences halfway-decent movies, "Dr. Gold- fOQt mci the Bikini Machine" Opned last night at the State Theatre. Vincent Price, a veteran of many horror movies, and Frankie Ava- Ion, a vetaran of many horrible movies, have joined forces with a bevy of scantily-clad starlets (in- cluding at least one refugee from Playboy, Magazine, China Lee) in this newest and most abortive at- tempt to spoof the James Bond craze. There is about as much satire in "Goldfoot" as one might find in a semester's supply of Gargoyles, and ~s- much humor as there is in any one episode of the TV show "Get Smart." Frankie (when is he going to drop~ that stupid "le" from his name and play a mature role for a chance?) plays a stupid Secret Intelligence Command agent (in other words he's a SIC man- get it?); Dwayne Hickman plays a stupid but filthy-rich bachelor (though his voice still sounds like that of a high school dropout); and various other nonentities pop in and out playing other stupid roles. The only smart one in the cast is Vincent Price, and even he looks stupid by appearing in. a film like thls~ oi~e. The plot (oh, yes, there is a plot!) is all about Dr. Goldfoot trying to take over the world by manufacturing sexy girls who go around marrying wealthy men and getting their new husbands to sign over their money to them. Helping to pad out this stupid plot are all the usual stupid gags, like the wild chase and the guy getting folded up inside a Mur- phy bed and the guy stepping on a rake and hitting himself in the head and-oh, you know, all that stuff that should've gone out with Charlie Chase. Vincent Price adds a touch of his own Poe-spun humor with a "pit-and"pendulum" bit near the end. As the star of the bikini set, Susan Hart tries to walk like Ann- Margret throughout much of the picture, but she's no Ann-Margret -nor is she an Annette, which robs the film of quite a bit of bounce right there. When the real Annette makes a brief appearance at the end, she's too late to help much. But the final insult is not the stupidity of the plot, nor is it the fact that the average viewer will be shelling out $1.25 to sit through this overstuffed nonsense. No, the real insult is the news -conveyed by a helpful State Theatre employe to all who phone 662-6264 - that "Thunderball" won't be getting here until Christ- mas vacation, while we must put up with stuff like "Goldfoot" and the following film, "That Funny Feeling." SUBSCRIBE TO BOTH A.C.T. AND PLAY OF THE MONTH AND RECEIVE AN EXTRA DISCOUNT! 4 P ~ ~ $ E NT S TH~ PROVE$$WNAL THEATRE PROC RAM AMU~A~I $ERVAT~RY THEATRE PROFESSIONAL THEATRE PROGRAM of the UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN An Exc~dq pert.iy Eoi*pwj! presents 4 A INTER PES~IIVAL 4j~ C<*~~*~ ~ 'C Eihvard A1be&'~ $twe*fu~g Ne~i R4~pg $#~e~$af HANS ~ ABSENCE OF A CELLO f~ "WiTTY" iflL HILARIOUS COMEDY SUCCESS "WONDIRFt/L Molfere~ R#f~ekR.~w.p-' I~1L$ #$t .1 N.~ia~ )o,* Lb~eoM C#~,ier Repertorg S~...W S.:.:.:.::.:.:~::::*~' .*..* New York firnes JAN VFEi B *:*.*.* *:*. tITI-L~ BEST PLAY PRIZE ~-iii~ Ar k, ACT '- '-i~1JI 1AI~i The American Conservatory Theatre 4Crh '[he University of Michigan Pro- has been bringing you AI'A sue- t A fessional Theatre Program, which you a new Winter Festival by ~'he hE~ttre ~~ricaz~cessfully since 1962, now brings . ..~ The C r le n tie ~qbare Hit FEBRUARY ,' THURSDAY EURIPIDES' an exciting new ensemble of '~e22t roup~ ~0 Wing3 ~ erv~ Direct from New Broadway players. ACT has ai~ act0,.3 ~I~Si S of 7,5 ~Ctj011 been attracting the attention ~ThPose,.s rectors d C oi the whole theatre world ~ ~"~0 CIRCLE AWARD since its premiere in Pitts. flew estab,. are ~R11ers C ETRO~AN ~ W OMEN burgh this summer. The eper of American Conserva tory ~' ~ . Ecu Theatre is sponsored C jointly by tbe Carnegie DIRECTED BY Institute of Technology MICHAEL CACOYANNIS and the Pittsburgh Play- house and is headed by William Ball, one of the nation's leading 1)irectors. AcT will make theatre history . role ;~ uherjoaoi ~, C ~'..-.---'~ ~U~kTJAMA1 as the ~Irst distin- . . guished guest ~ARLdI' '~ ~ .WT~ tk~v~sity 0* ~ ( Michigan rAw~. ~' ~1m~EsT t~ED~S 'Iheatre ~ *~ ~!It~Gt'% NN~f,..air,.e ~ Vrogrm~ . I.,C HILL ~ e.t.~,0un~ iT~iII~ Subscribe 1VOW,#~ ~.....4~4~k ~ ..~ .. . . .. w!b~t.I'~bei. '~ C '~4.9..',45C~C, ~ 4 0 I 'I DAILY OFFIC~L BULLETIN The Daily OffiCial Bulletin is an sity of Michigan, for which Th~ Michigan iJaily assumes no editor- ial responsibility.: .Nuitkes should t~e sent in TYI't~WRlTTl~N form to Raom 3519 Admin1sLrat,~oi Bldg. be- fore 2 p.m. ol tbe~ day preceding publication, apd .by ~. p.m. Friday for Satuiday and~ Sunday. (.enerai Notices may be pubiished~ a maxi- mum of two times on request; l)ay Calendar items appear once only. Student organlation Cnot.lces are not accepted for pubtw~tton. THURSDAY, DECEMBER. 2 Day Calendar Bureau of Industrial Relations Se~n- inaf-"The Management of Managers": I~tiichigan Union, 8 a.nt' "Effective Communications in Super- visory Relationships": Michigan League, 1:30 p.m. Mental Health Researc~i Institute Seminar-Manfred Kochen, mathemat- ical biologist. MHRI, "Models for In- formation Search Systems": .1057 MHRI 2:15 p.m. Cinema ~*ulld - "odd Man Out": Architectural Aud., 7 ~nd 9 p.m. Dept. . of Speech University Players Perfonnance-Shakespeare"s "Henry VI Part I": Trueblood Aud., 8 p.m. School of Music Collegluin Musicum Concert-Robert Austin Warner, musi- cal director, Michael Robbins, dramatic director: St. Andrews Episcopal Church, 8:30 p.m. The Student Laboratory 'theatre of the Dept. of speech .18 pr.e~ent1ng free University Management Seminar - public performances of original one- "Basics of Supervision": Michigan Un- acts written by students in the current 1911, 8:30 a.m. English Dept., playwriting course. "The Dead," by Richard Simon and "To Be School of Pftlillc Health