PAGE EIGHT THE~ MICHIGAN DAILY THURSDAY, SEPTEMREP. 2_ tna. PAGE EIGHT THE MICHIGAN DAILY THTTR~flAV~ ~FPTV1wnu~'u~ ' i aara~k7A XJ, OU 1 +1iD~V , 1d. a --, LLOYD GRAFF SPECTATORS MORE FRANTIC: Ticket Throng. Rivals Grid Crowds 1 Results of a Day's (Daze?) Dreaming What woud a football game look like if a TV camera was placed in the ball? CBS, are you listening? Has there ever been a coach who hasn't criticized his team if he thought it was a good one, and unjustly praised it if he thought it was a dud. What's so fascinating about a boomerang and its citified cousin the Frisby. Perhaps it appeals to a back to the womb fixation? I wonder what Tom Wolfe's fourth grade English teacher thinks about his new book The Candy Colored Tangerine Flaked Streamline Baby. How does somebody compose a crossword puzzle; much less an acrostic?, If everything on earth has a purpose, where does the mosquito fit in? Stock car racing is the American equivalent of the bullfight. Few -people care who wins a race. The thrill is in seeing the cars and drivers gored. Earl Morrall will not become another Y. A. Tittle because the Giants offensive line couldn't push a canary away from bird seed. Within three years Cliff Richey will be the top amateur tennis player in the world. Michigan is fortunate not to play any of the service academy football teams this season. More than the normal number of injuries invariably occur in games with Army, Navy, or Air Force. How Warren Giles could only suspend Juan Marichal for eight days is a mystery. Marichal should have been banned for the rest of the season. If he'd swung his bAt in the alley it would have been a felony. The average "1965 Michigan Freshman male has a haircut at least one-third longer than the average Freshman of four years ago. I attribute it to the Beatle influence. Every football coach in the country will announce he is "cautiously optimistic" about his team between now and the beginning of the season. Most college students are middle aged by the time they pick up their diploma. If Saks Fifth Avenue began promoting suspenders and eyepatches as "in items," one third of the campus would be wearing them in a month. Wouldn't suspenders look cool with wheat jeans? With the lighting in the General Library reading room as it is, if someone studied there four hours every night for one year, he would undoubtedly go blind. How would Yossarian react if he enrolled at Michigan? What would he pull at registration? By HOWARD KOHN Being a fan of a highly ranked college football team is not with- out its drawbacks as several thou- sand Michigan students have been finding out the past few days. Those martyr-type followers of the defending' Big Ten champion Wolverines have been standing faithfully in line waiting to pur- chase their season tickets at the I-M Building in the annual mara- thon for grid enthusiasts. This year's queue reminded one senior of the famous 1963 lines for basketball tickets. Back in those days, sports fans had to spend a cold February night at the corner of State and Hoover, and stay warm by burning bundles of hay. Thefootball waiting lines, how- ever, require no synthetic heat. The large numbers of students pushed togetherdin the hot humid weather made deodorant a more than needed commodity. Yesterday, sophomores, or more familiarly known as Group 2 in the code system employed by the athletic department, purchased their tickets. They rapidly con- sumed the remaining end-zone seats and were keeping the fresh- men in suspense as to where they are going to sit when they pur- chase their ducats today. Tickets first went on sale Mon- day but the line began Sunday night. A trio of courageousumales copped the honor of being the kings of the line. They survived nearly nine hours on the side- walk with the help of a pair of cots and suitable "provisions." They took turns guarding their positions at the head of the hu- man chain throughout the wait. One of the later arrivals strug- gled into lineatd6:30 Monday morning and bided his time for three hours before obtaining his prize ducats on the 35-yard line. Also in the fierce competition were members of the weaker sex. One lovely coed I spoke with claimed the experience was en- joyable even though she missed her first class, and suffered from hunger pains after watching fel- low ticket buyers munch on pic- nic style breakfasts and pause for impromptu coffee breaks. "It wasn't the waiting in line thatbothered me, it was the stam- pede to get into the building, at one point I thought I would never see daylight again. But I guess it was worth it," explained another M' coed. Another stalwart, noticing the supporters were of course not empty milk cartons and beer cans without their own methods of strewn about, philosophically re- beating the system such as the re- marked that "the place looks like lief shift and the less ethical, "cut- Vladimir Horwitz is giving a re- ting." turn concert." But as one impatient fan hope- You're Kidding lessly moaned, "It looks like it's Some seniors were disenchanted a question of standing in line at when they found themselves sit- either five in the morning or five ting in the same section as last at night." year and in some cases given worse Today the freshmen get their seats. One amazed senior wound chance, and from all indications up with the exact seat as last the phrase "It's a helluva line," year. as one blunt student put it, will The quick-thinking Wolverine remain a common moan. r- FRESHMEN Want better football seats? The W olverine Pep Club announces iMrL/ m +fr' We meet discount and catalogue prices. Is it really true that one of the. astronauts hid a teddy bear in his spacesuit? The reduction of the cost of an E sticker from seven dollars to five is the first time in memory that any price has been cut in Ann Arbor. Well, they'll probably raise the parking fees to make up. Does Lyndon Johnson really practice speaking with pebbles in his mouth? BEER-PIZZA-BANJOS BIMBO'S Membership available at the IM Building Wed., Sept. 2 and Thurs., Sept. 3 When you pick up your football tickets HOUSE BLOCKS AVAILABLE in limited supply PRACTICE SESSION TO BE ARRANGED -I emusic center, Inc. 304 So. Thayer--665-8607 1304 So. University-662-1335 JOIN THE DAILY STAFF f i I~LIL IIII~ ... __ .... ...... ,r.:_ EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES WORKING AT UMI Means: " Stable employment " Good pay " Excellent company-paid benefits * Opportunity to learn " Responsibility Positions available on morning and afternoon shifts in clerical and production departments. SECRETARY CLERK TYPIST DICTAPH ONE OPERATOR CAMERA OPERATOR To qualify you should be a high school 0' graduate and preferably have some exper- ience in general clerical or light production. Those selected will receive thorough train- ing in their assignments. Come in and talk to us about the opportun- ities in one of America's fastest growing and most progressive organizations. j INSPECTOR * Personal growth * Income growth FILM CUTTER FILM PRINTER Apply In Person Employment Office 314 N. First St. Ann Arbor ....::??~:v-:i}'.:.; :v: ................ v!?r::?i"ii::..... :....:........ :::::.?':i: ii?::. .. iil it :i-:tir ::: :":.......:: ::. :.":::: rr r ..... :..... .. ... ....::::::.:::::::.iiiii:' :; ..;.: :.:...; . .......:. r.. r::::: v:: :w:: r.".: '" :i ...:'... .... ...::.. :::::::: ....1 r. :. :::. :::. ::.. .. .r.: .. ................. __ _.. :.::. _. ":iWt'.... arr ...::::::.::......: YYYfi1:.:b:::::::: Lir [. ' {:.: :::::::":::Si:.}i'i:",i:;::::: is tii:r 't::.i..:i I1