Sundav.ix, October 12, 1969

THE MICHIGAN DAILY

Page Five


THE MICHIGAN DAILY Page Five
U

U

Learning to do it

by the book

Mother Country's
Girlchild isn't pregnant

By HENRY BURLINGAME
Sex Expert
The Photographic Manual
of Sexual Intercourse, by L. R.
O'Connor. Pent-R-Books, Inc.,
$12.98 (way, way too much.)
HERE IT IS, sitting right
there in front of you on your
desk, "America's first complete
Sex Course in one volume." No
one is born with a working
knowledge of sexual intercourse,
as the dustjacket so gracefully
tells you, but this little honey
is just what you needed to find
out all about it.
Just Think!!! Over One Hun-
dred and Fifty Actual Photo-
graphs of a man and a woman

out, in the introduction he for
some reason was convinced to
write, "No sex (or non-sex)
book, however, is perfect; so
why should this one be?" Why
indeed? It seems that nobody
came up with a very good an-
swer to that question-certainly
not the author.
The writing is amusing in
parts, though probably not by
intent and dull in parts prob-
ably because of incompetence.
The prose surrounding the pic-
tures might best be described as
supine - something one might
write while thinking about it
but while not having enough
energy to do it (again?).
O'Conner's style sweeps rad-
ically from purple prose - the
sort that seems always to use
"penned" instead of "wrote"-
to early high school. Although
this would seem on the surface
to detract from the book it of-
ten provides some of its more
interesting highlights. For ex-
ample, the sentence which be-
gins the chapter on female oral-
anal sexuality: "We now enter
into the nether world of sex,
that area in which most discus-
sion is conducted in deepest sec-
recy, not to mention under the
conditions of the darker sha-
dowings of night."
O'CONNER SERVES up a
mixed bag of topics in his prose
padding, some more interesting
than others. A chapter on the
history of sex reaches to a low
point in O'Conner's supine writ-
ing style - he and you don't
really give a damn about the
subject and instead indulge in
rambling banter on nothing
much at all. But even this sec-
tion is saved by some of the
saving graces mentioned earlier:
O'Conner describes the Black
Mass as a single ceremony com-
bining "masochism, s a d i s m,
pluralism, urolagnia, coprophi-
lia," a condition under which,
he adds, "a good time was had
by all."
In a similar vein, O'Conner
commends Louis IV who revived
the Black Mass and "brought
some class back to the art of
sex."
A few of the later chapters
do manage to rise above the
flaccid state. Chapters on male
and female oral-anal sexuality,
once they get past the "nether
world" prove reasonably infor-
mative and practical.

Others, inviting by title, prove
to be rather less than expected.
For example the chapter label-
led "Male techniques for satisfy-
ing the female," details a
method for bringing warm sex-
ual response: "Unexpected gifts
of candy, flowers, lesser items of
jewelry, . ."
Three chapters on intercourse
duringimenstruation, intercourse
for the old, ill and handicapped
and "Satisfying substitutes,"
makes good reading but seem to
be a bit mechanical in their ap-
proach.
By about this time in the de-
tailed study of the book one is
reminded of its frequent (dare

one say hackneyed) use of the
phrase about pictures and thou-
sands of words. As the back flap
of the dust-cover explains "We
feel that to publish our book
The Photographic Manual of
Sexual Intercourse without pho-
graphs would be a disservice to
our readers." One might also
add that it would be a flagrant
violation of the truth in adver-
tising statutes as well as being
pretty damn disappointing. So
we turndback to the well thumb-
ed center section for more in-
tensive study.
The chapter, entitled "Posi-
tions for sexual intercourse" and
accompanying pictures depict
according to the author, better
than 150 possible postures for
doing "what comes naturally."
Solely in the interest of our
readers I dedicated myself to the
task of proving out, by rigorous
testing, each of the alternatives
pictured and described.
THE FIRST THING one no-
tices about the pictures is that
all of them have a little black
t r a d e in a r k superimposed on
them. The trademark consists of
a little letter R inside a small
pentagonal border. This seems
to stand for the publishing firm
Pent-R Books. The little pent-
up r doesn't get in the way of
anything although at times it
appears to be tattooed to some-
one's thigh. Anyway, I don't
have much to say about the
trademark except , that it is
there.
The first set of positions is
fairly standard-the only dif-
ficulty is trying to emulate the
stony faced expressions of the
people in the pix. Throughout
the depiction of their amorous
contortions neither of the two
pictured (a married couple)
shows the least emotion (except
once in the "Sitting Face to
Face' position the girl has this
v a g u e sneer). Initially we
thought the guy in the pix was
merely uninterested or maybe
drunk but a thorough study re-
vealed that he is stuffed.
In fact, his being stuffed
seemed to explain for a while
his ability to maintain all of
these positions standing on his
head. However after one hour
and twenty-three minutes of
futile attempt, we discovered
that some of the pictures are
intended to be viewed with the

book rotated approximately 90
degrees. (It was real hard to
tell because the captions were
still at the bottom of the page
and the pix are those kind with
no backgrounds.)
BUT HAVING resolved that
problem new ones developed.
Among them pain and agony.
But that's not so bad-at least
they can be passed off as exotic
positions with hidden spiritual

By FRED LaBOUR

US Number 2, edited by Richard
Goldstein. Bantam, $1.00.
"For rulers like to lay down
laws
And rebels like to break them.
The poor priests like to walk
in chains
And God likes to forsake them."
-Robin Williamson of the
Incredible String Band
rPHEY TELL ME that finding
out your girl isn't pregnant
is a wonderful thing. They say
you greet your future like a
friendly old dog licking your
face into focus as intolerable
pressure leaves your shoulders.
US number 2 is a paperback
magazine edited by Richard
Goldstein which tells you it's
girlfriend is not pregnant, which
is good, but ignores the friendly
old dog, which is bad.
The saga of young men trying
to discover if Mother Country's
Girlchild is pregnant and there-
fore their responsibility is, un-
fortunately, never ending. It
has become at best fine jour-
nalism and at worst boring, and
US is certainly not boring.
US employs perceptive young
people and incorporates t h e i r
reflections into the format of a
quarterly paperback magazine,
the first of which appeared last
June. It is not a manual for
mechanics and it doesn't cook
oatmeal and its texture is very
contemporary. It is thus sep-
arate from the main of maga-
zines and deserves attention.
US' contributors, like so
many before them, have dis-
covered Mother Country's Girl-
child pregnancy test to be "ne-
gative" and the purpose of their
writing is to spread the w o r d .
"You, out there sitting on your
ass, she's NOT pregnant, y o u
nitwit. Can you hear me?" The

last question is the sustained,
almost menacing beat behind
every word they have written.
What is unusual about US'
proclamations of "fetus dissolve"
is the extreme good feeling and
charm with which they are read
to you and me, us. Goldstein's
lead article, for instance, is what
he does so well: throwing h i s
whole life against a single
thought, in this case Nashville
Skyline, and coordinating t h e
scattered reflections. He writes
well, despite the occasional
bumps which are the product of
cuteness. There is a certain
kind of guy who would go to all
the trouble of putting out a
magazine which only s a i d
"Mother Country's Girlchild
isn't pregnant" but Goldstein is
pleasant anyway. How about a
beer, Dick?
Marvin Garson does it again
in a step by step pregnancy test
which is intriguing and a mil-
lion years old. Toby Thompson
and William Routt imply h o w
"negative" results affected them
in articles about Dylan in Hib-
bing and Robert Mitchum. All
interesting, some good, nothing
new.
Perry Brandston is a seventh
grader who writes a story about
his school called "My School:
A Composition" and proves that
every -VERY young men know
she's not pregnant. He disarm-
ingly condemns his teachers
which is again, pleasant enough.
Ellen Willis writes a b o u t
Women's Liberation and is not
pleasant at all. I went to my
mother's cocktail party last
weekend where normally in-
telligent men got drunk and
laughed a good deal about
women's rights and how "their
place is in the kitchen and
the bed," while their wives glar-
ed at them.
Those men are the greatest
proponents of pregnancy in

every sense and it is admirable
that Miss Willis has c o m e to
grips with it. However, she
seems content to stay within-an
atmosphere of contempt, hate,
and accusation and to use her
most precious energy only to tell
everyone that Mother Country's
Girlchild is NOT pregnant. That
is too bad and leads to murder.
These stories and much more
are in US no. two. It is deftly
laid out, funny, and a real kick
in the nuts ifyou've never run
into it before. But all r i g h t
now. We KNOW Mother Coun-
try's Girlchild is not pregnant
and indeed, can't conceive. We
also know things come in twos.
Hopefully recognition of t h e
former leads to acceptance of
the latter. It hasn't for US.
US opens with a quote from
William Blake which comes from
"The Marriage of Heaven and
Hell." It is "The road of ex-
cess leads to the palace of wis-
dom." Remember another quote
from Blake, also from the "Mar-
riage."
"Now hear a plain fact: Swe-
denborg has not written one
new truth. Now hear another:
he has written all the old false-
hoods."
Today's writers ..,
FRED LaBOUR, alias Cigar-
ette Pig, is a well-known man
about town who thinks he
knows everything. He doesn't,
but he writes a passable re-
view now and again so we all
put up with his little idiosyn-
crasies. 1ow about a beer,
Fred?
H E N R Y BURLINGAM,
alias Chris Steele, alias G o d
Only Nose, is a Daily senior
editor who doesn't know any-
thing and fills up the spare
moments reading rotten books.

(a "married couple") are pre-
sented for your perusal and
emulation.
You probably already know
about this book, since the (dare
say it?) money-grubbing pub-
lishers have gone to the trouble
of sending out millions of letters
to every horny male in the coun-
try marked "If you are under
21 and unmarried, please mark
this envelope refused and return
it your mailman" or something
like that.
And what this review is try-
ing to say (in its own humble
way) is that you should forget
the whole thing because this
book is REALLY STINKO, un-
less, of course you're sitting
home with Martha looking for
a good ha-ha.
ANYWAY, BY the time you've
even glanced at the dustjacket
there on your desk, a crowd of
approximately 483 has collect-
ed. The next seven hours are
spent in endless mass oggling of
the center photo section cli-
maxed by a desperate search for
the book which has temporarily
disappeared into hands un-
known.
When the little masterpiece is
finally retrieved, dog-eared and
thumb-greased as it is the pro-
cess of thorough study begins.
The words-well yes there are
these words that the author has
inconveniently padded the work
out with. But after all that rabid
page turning one is content to
sit down and see what L. R.
O'Conner has to say for him-
self.
As the distinguished writer
and student of human sexual
response Dr. Albert Ellis points

b
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qualities. They prove only mild-
ly impossible for the extremely
athletic who are able to resolve
the adverse physics of facing in
opposite directions, having abso-
lutely no leverage, and thus be-
ing reduced to excrutating imo-
bility.
More disturbing however are
the positions that just don't
work. Apparently O'Conner or
his models discovered at some
point that his goal of 150 posi-
tions was a bit. ambitious. On
top of using a considerable num-
ber of precisely duplicated poses
and very slightly change posi-
tions (like moving one hand
about three-eighths of an inch)
Th le Photographic Manual of
Sexual Intercourse stoops to
showing entirely fictional pos-
tures. In the words of the
Graduate Ben to Mrs. Robin-
son's husband, "It was just like
we were shaking hands." That's
about as close as a few of the
positions come to sexual contact.
(Unless, of course, the man in
the pictures is mighty damned
endowed.)
DISAPPOINTING as well are
the flagrant omissions of the
book. In his capacity as Assist-
ant Sex Expert for The Daily
Little Suzy Funn points out that
the standing positions are al-
most totally ignored including
the infamous Oriental Tree.
Again returning to the dust-
cover, which seems to contain
the most literate writing in
(on?) the whole book, we find
the basic question asked. "Does
America need a photographical-
ly illustrated sex manual?" The
author then goes on to point to
the enormousdivorce, mental
illness and adultery rates of a
world previously unblessed by
such a work. We might add that
with this new increase torman's
understanding of the world he
may add to his social problems
back-ache, hernia, and exceed-
ing pain.



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Presents
A TALK ON THE LIFE AND WORKS
OF KAWABATA YASUNARI
1968 Nobel Laureate in Literature
"HOW TO WIN A NOBEL PRIZE"
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Tues., Oct. 14 8:00 P.M.
Aud. A Angell Hall
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CHARLES

EVERS

Grad Coffee House

BLACK REVOLUTION-
WHITE CONSCIENCE

Sunday, Oct.

12, 8:00 P.M.

Last year, Charles Evers, the brother of slain civil rights leader Medgar
Evers, was elected the mayoralty of Fayette, Mississippi, a small town in the
Southwestern portion of the state. Evers is the first black man to be elected
mayor of a racially mixed town in the deep South since the Reconstruction;
his position places him squarely in front of some of the gravest problems
facing not only the South, but the entire nation as well.
On Sunday, October 19, Charles Evers will speak at Hill Auditorium on this
rnnrnnnfnn f lc-n lrw .rirdnnrtrnwI r with Athe foro rf white racism.

FOLK ENTERTAINMENT
PAM OSTERGREN Singing Traditional
Folk and Contemporary Music. Re-
freshments.

TRUMAN DOUGLAS:
AUTHOR

The black revolutionaries of today are all an
inescapable part of the American revolution-
ary tradition. The fate of black and white in

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