the Sunduy daily from the daily staff 49 Night Editor: Jim Neubacher February 15, 1970 Presenting... The 1969 Edgars In keeping with a long standing tradition, The Daily today announces its selection of the 1969 Edgar win- ners. The Edgars are awarded to those public personalities who last year best approximated the virtues of the na- tion's foremost Edgar, Mr. Hoover of the FBI. A few are given to those who have earned their own unique brand of distinction. To the winners, our congratulations. To the losers-cheer up. You may win next year. The Richard Nixon Policy Cannot be Made in The Streets Edgar to Vice President for Academic Affairs Allan Smith who said he didn't care if stu- dents voted overwhelmingly n o t to use student fees for the proposed IM Bldg. "We're going to make up our own minds," said Smith. The John Peter Zenger Freedom of the Press Edgar to South Vietnam's President Thieu who has closed down 33 newspapers since he formally abol- ished censorship in his country last year. The Dr. Christan Barnard Edgar to President Richard Nixon for trans- planting the collective mouths of the silent majority into Spiro Agnew. N. The Radio Free Europe Edgar to the U.S. Army for refusing to let return- ing POW's talk about Viet Cong pris- on camps where they were treated with respect. The Little Dutch Boy with His Fin- ger in the Dike Edgar to Pope Paul for his stand against birth control. The Profiles in Courage Edgar to Mayor Robert Harris for commending the Ann Arbor Police for its restraint on South U. on June 16 and 17. * * * The Barry Cohen-Gene Gladstone Edgar to Ken Lasser for inventing an LSA Assembly and imagining himself chairman. * * * The Richard Nixon "Priorities Ed- gar to EMU President Harold Spon- berg who welcomed the EMU "73 freshman class with "Here at Eastern we consider students one of our most valuable assets." I The Clement Haynsworth Achieve- ment Edgar to New Mobe for leading the anti-war protest at the Rose Bowl that never materialized. "It's a tre- mendous opportunity for football fans to express their opinions in a non-violent manner," Mobe said. *~ * * The Pacemaker Edgar to the Michi- gan State News for incorrectly nam- ing their new presidency in the story that broke the news. The Abe Fortas Integrity Edgar to Bill Ayers for allegedly trying to ex- tort $20,000 from New Mobe in ex- change for keeping the Weathermen quiet during the Nov. 15 demonstra- tion in Washington. The John D. Rockefeller Humani- tarian Edgar to Ann Arbor Police Chief Walter Krasny who said he posted police in the Student Activities Bldg. to protect a recruiter "for the good of society." The Checkers Memorial Edgar to Sen. Ted Kennedy. Oratory * * * The L a d y Bird Johnson Behind- Every-Successful-Man-is-a - Woman- Edgar to Mrs. John Mitchell who call- ed up all the senators wives and told them to make their husbands vote to confirm Judge Clement Haynsworth. * * * The U.S. Army Engineer Corps Ed- gar to Sec. of Interior Walter Hickel of Alaska for designing an Alaskan highway now under five feet of wa- ter. * * * The Jack Myers Weasel Edgar to prisoner David V a 11 e r (formerly "Dave the hippie") f o r turning in John Sinclair to the FBI bomb squad and then becoming a columnist for the Detroit News. The David Valler Edgar to the new Czech assembly for thanking the So- viet Union for its help in fighting re- visionism. The Dr. Henrik Verwoerd Memorial Edgar to William F. Buckley for say- ing in a Detroit Free Press interview that Eldridge Cleaver "couldn't possi- bly" have written Soul on Ice. The One Short Step for a Man but a Giant Step for All Mankind Edgar to David Eisenhower who effectively removed himself from t fi e public's eye for the next three years by enlist- ing in the Navy. The Playmate of the Month Edgar to the Ann Arbor News for its front page, 8-column cheesecake of Spiro Agnew floating in the pool of t h e Jakharta Holiday Inn. * * * The John Mitchell "All Deliberate Speed" Edgar to Hubert Humphrey and the Democratic policy council for calling for "immediate" withdrawal from Vietnam "within 18 months." * * * The J. Paul Getty Good Business Edgar to Detroit, Free Press staffer C'ana anltv mwn nqpA hip Piflmt7.P The Louis Rome Landlord Edgar to Director of University Housing John Feldkamp for his excellent manage- ment of University Housing. The John Feldkamp Edgar to Jack Myers for dutiful service to Feldkamp. The Kelly Girl of the Year Edgar to Acting Vice President for Student Af- fairs Barbara Newell who has been acting in that capacity for 12 years. The Teddy Roosevelt Good Neigh- bor Edgar to the United States for Operation Intercept and for arming Canadian border guards. * * * The Putney Swope Truth In Ad- vertising Edgar to the astronauts who complained that their orange juice was no good. Two minutes later a Tang commercial appeared on TV extolling the virtues of the juice the astronauts drink. * * * The Doc Losh Edgar to Regent Ro- bert Brown who said during the con- troversy over the student bookstore, "I don't care if they burn the place down. I'm going up to East Lansing to root for the team." * * * The Right to a Fair Trial Edgar to Detroit Recorder's Judge R o b e r t Colombo for sentencing John S i n- clair to 10 years in jail for possession of two joints of marijuana, and for explaining, "John Sinclair is out to show that he and his ilk can violate the law with impunity. Well, his time has come. You may laugh, but you will have a long time to laugh." * * * The Roger Rapoport Conflict of Interest Edgar to the Regents for ask- ing Fred Ulrich to testify on the feasibility of a student bookstore. The Jeane Dixon Edgar to WWJ sports reporter Al Ackerman for de- claring that-"Michigan doesn't stand a chance against Ohio State." The Chicago Tribune Edgar to the Chicago Tribune for its coverage of the Fred Hampton murder and en- suing hearing during which it print- ed proof of bullet holes in Hampton's apartment which later proved to be nail heads. * *-* The Gerhard Weinberg Academic Elitism Edgar to classics Prof. Howard Cameron who said, "A professor with- out students constitutes a class. Stu- dents without a professor constitute nothing." * * * The John Paul Jones I Have Not Yet Begun to Fight Edgar to Steve Nissen for leading the LSA sit-in last September and then leaving before the police came. The Ralph Nader Consumer Pro- tection Edgar to Martin W o h 1 of Ford Motor Co. who said,. "It is not clear that reducing highway carnage is a necessary goal or definitely in the public interest. Moreover, it is hardly sensible to adopt a policy that lives and limbs are priceless." * * * The S&H Green Stamps Edgar . to Mrs. John Mitchell who said she would trade in all the liberals in the United States for Communists. * * * The John Foster (Dulles Memorial Edgar to Gov. Milliken who said, "Leftist students rallying under the banner of social justice are a greater threat to academic freedom than the late Sen. Joseph McCarthy's anti- communist crusades of the 1950's." The Readers Digest Improving Your Word Power Edgar to V i c e President Spiro Agnew for teaching the silent majority two big words, "effete" and "supercilious." The Alfred Hitchcock Suspense Edgar to President Richard Nixon for his secret timetable for ending the Vietnam war. The Face That Launched A Thous- and Ships Edgar to Jackie Onassis. The Russians Are Coming Edgar to Mayor Robert Harris who called off a Sunday afternoon rock concert last summer because "intelligence re- ports" said a horde of motorcyclists were coming to the city. The John Stegman Damage De- posit Edgar to PJ's Restaurant for instituting a $.50 minimum. The Henry Bretton Sanctity of the Classroom Edgar to anthropology Prof. Robert Eckhardt who refused to teach in a classroom with "F r e e Huey" written on the wall. * * * The Gamal Abdul Nasser Chutzpah Edgar to Students for a Democratic Society for leading a march chanting "Let's take the ROTC Bldg. and hold it this time," and then staying inside for five minutes. The Otto von Bismarck-Christian Dior Edgar to President Richard Nixon for dressing up his White House guards. The Edgar Spectacular Home Edgar to President Robben Fleming who proposed that students finance their bookstore by collect- ing the money themselves. The Michigan Golf Classic Edgar to Denny McLain for going broke on an $80,000 annual salary. The George McClellan Tactical Ex- cellence Edgar to Moby Benedict, Michigan's baseball coach, for play- ing Dodger second baseman Ted Size- more, last year's Rookie of the Year, as a catcher while he was here at Michigan. * * * The G. Harrold Carswell Edgar to the Republic of South Africa for bar- ring tennis star Arthur Ashe from competition there. The Second Annual Bob McBride TV-2 Edgar to TV-4 in Detroit for its coverage of last week's "trouble in Ann Arbor" (sic) during the demon- stration for Huey Newton and Bobby Seale, "two of the defendants in the 'Chicago 7' conspiracy trial" (sic). The Shirley Temple Political Ideal- ism Edgar to Roman Gribbs a n d Richard Austin for insisting that race was not an issue in last year's De- troit mayoral election. The Cassius Clay'Modesty Edgar to the Regents for attempting to change the name of People's Plaza to Re- gents Plaza. The Julie and Tricia Nixon Edgar to the Miss America contest chaper- ones who refused to let their charges discuss a Women's Liberation protest because it was "too controversial" for nice American girls. The J. Edgar Edgar to Judge Julius Hoffman whose performance as a member of the United States legal system best personifies the spirit of J. Edgar, himself - that justice is in- cidental to law and order. 1 bi Nguyen Van Thieu Spiro Agnew 4 The UNICEF Charity Begins at John Feldkamp Julius Hoffman T h e Latin American Stability in Government Edgar to Italy which has had 30 governments in the past 27 years, the most recent of which fell two weeks ago. * * * The Mrs. Portnoy Edgar to Regent Gertrude Huebner for asking everyone to let Regent Gerald Dunn s le e p during the Regents' January meeting. * * * The Harold Stassen Edgar to Mark Hodax for continually running f o r Student Government Council. * * * . The Carl Parsell "Support Your Lo- cal Police" Edgar to Ann Arbor Police Chief Walter Krasny for explaining that a "blow to the face does not con- stitute an assault." * * * The Sigmnund Freud Edgar to Eng- Harvey's Edgars The Sherlook Holmes Edgar for expertise in detective work after Harvey and his men blew a stake- out last summer trying to catch the murderer of an area coed. * * * The General William Westmore- land Edgar f o r patriotism above and beyond the call of duty to Doug, who single handedly (his other arm was in a sling from a racing car crash) directed his leg- ions during the South U. riots last June. Harvey supervised his zeal- .