28, 1970 THE MICHIGAN DAILY Page Seven c/eVilJ '" Bill Cusumano_ _ I'd rather be in Philadel hia Yesterday I discovered that I have become an old man. I knew that I had been heading in that direction ever since I. turned 21, but I didn't know that it would happen so quickly. The painful fact was made evident to me, though, when Willem H. "Butch" Van Breda Kolff got me out on the basket- ball court. The Pistons' coach believes in keeping fit and still plays a lot. Somehow, I got roped into working out with him. By the time we had finished playing some two on two at the Dowyntown. Y in Detroit I was totally exhausted. Butch was ready for more. Now I believe all those stories about how dis- sipated sportswriters become. Actually, it was another dissipated writer, Bill Halls, who got me Into my scfrry plight. Halls, ace basketball reporter for the Detroit News, is a former athlete himself and still jokes around at times. He gets serious, though, when it comes to play- ing with Butch and is always looking for a partner who can help him-beat Van Breda Kolff. Unfortunately, I was chosen for the task. The story of my downfall actually stretches over a couple of months. The whole thing started on Nov. 14, 1969, at the Lark Inn in Iowa City. Halls and I were both in attendance at Iowa's press dinner before the Michigan game. I was in a lot better shape than Halls, though, and so thought he was joking when he asked me if I wanted to play against Van Breda Kolff and some other guy. I said sure and told him to give me some time to get into shape. Then I feirgot about it. ' At 1 a.m. Tuesday morning I discovered that Halls had 'not forgot. He called my house and told me to be in Detroit at 2 that afternoon. I was stuck. So it was that I walked into the Pistons' office in the Sheraton-Cadillac with fear in my heart. I figured that there was no way that this pro wouldn't stuff my carcass into the corner of the gym. What made matters even worse is that Butch is an impos- ing character anywhere much less on the court. To say the least he comes on strong. He's about 6-4 and weighs around 200 but the most impressive thing is his voice. Van Breda Koff is extremely gruff and makes you feel like Jack talking to the * giant. By the time I got to the court Butch had me totally in- timidated. I kept reminding myself- thatr he was 47 years old and that he couldn't be in good shape. But Halls. kept ruining , things by informing me that Butch was still real tough. I was ready for total decimation but fate intervened and gave me my only bright moment all day. The guy that Butch usually plays with wasn't there so we couldn't have' the match Halls had originally planned. I felt relief spreading over my body. I shouldn't have, because Halls immediately got us into more troubled waters. We somehow ended up playing in a scrimmage against Detroit Tech's varsity. Butch wisely sat back and watched us catch our lunch from all of those strong kids. When the scrimmage was done I knew that I needed about ten weeks in a rest home. I wasn't about to get it, though, be- cause Butch was now ready to play. I then proved why I am a cagey sportswriter; I got on Butch's side and let Halls team up with the Detroit Tech coach. Needless to say, we murdered * them. No official statistics were kept but I can safely inform you that I led all scorers (and also gave up the most points). That should have satisfied me and made the day but one thought kept nagging and Halls finally voiced it. It seems that we still have to play that game with Butch and his buddy. And after being on the same team with Van Breda Kolff I know that it's going to be one hard job beating him, especially in the con- ' ''dition I'm in. Right now my legs are gone, I still can't breathe with- out gasping and my stomach continues to turn over. The only part of me that is still functioning with any degree of efficiency is my fingers. Therefore I can still type and pro- duce these beautiful epics. Doesn't that make you glad? If It doesn't just get me back out on the court with Van Breda Kolff. One more session like today and I'll die. Why did I ever let myself get involved in this affair anyway? ". W ,. Bradshaw to NEW YORK (P) --- Terry Brad- shaw, a blond 6-foot-3 inch Little j v All-American quarterback from U3IL Louisiana Tech, was the No, 1 pick 9 in the pro football draft yesterday while Steve Owens, the Reisman Trophy winner from Oklahoma Swas 19th on the list. Three of the first round draftees NIGHT EDITOR: were from Oklahoma-Steve Za-pAT ATKINS bel, No. 6, a tight end selected by