THE MICHIGAN DAILY WEDNES
DAY, SEPTEMBER 6,1967
the kitchen cynic
R ICK STERN
it is like to be a high school All-
America in great demand by the
grid iron mentors of the college
TWA flight 237 leaves every
Friday afternoon from Detroit
Metropolitan airport for St. Louis
and on one of these weekend
flights John tags along, compli-
ments of the University of Mis-
souri athletic department. He
flies first class and at St. Louis
switches to Ozark airlines for the
.4 ( 11
310 E. Washington
fifty minute hop to Columbia,
home of the University of Mis-
There he is met at the airport
by Dan Devine, the Missouri Tiger
coach who gives him a very per-
sonal tour of the campus. Coach
Divine then takes John out for
dinner and John eats one of the
largest steaks of his life, all the
while hearing about life at the
University of Missouri from vari-
ous football players on the campus
that coach Devine invited along to
"I liked coach Devine very
much," said John, "and the uni-
versity certainly impressed me.
They really rolled out the red car-
pet for me and it was difficult to
have to decline their offer in the
end," he added.
John said that his trips to Mis-
souri, Colorado, Nebraska, and
Wisconsin were the most interest-
ing. He praised these schools high-
ly and had a great deal of respect
for their coaches-but such was
not the case at all schools he
Sugar Coated Promises
"What I didn't like about some
schools," John said, "were the
sugar coated promises I received
about grades and athletic fame.
Some places told me not to worry
about grades because they (the
coaches) would see to it that I
would get through; while other
coaches told me all about how I
would be an All America by the
end of my sophomore year and all
that. Obviously this type of pitch
is a bunch of malarky and that
kind of approach turned me away
from the school."
John explained, however, that
most coaches could size up what a
particular prospect was most in-
terested in after about three min-
utes with him and that the ap-
proach used by the coach to then
sell the boy on his school was then
"When coaches are trying to
recruit you," John said, "you have
to learn to separate what is partly
true from what is wholly true.
Along this line of thought, one of
the finest coaches I met was Bob
Devaney of Nebraska. He took
special care to underscore what
would be the negative as well as
positive aspects of life at Ne-
Duffy Tries Harder
When asked about Michigan
State's effort to recruit him John
put it this way. "Coach Duffy
Daughtery called my home at least
once a week during my senior year
at Kimball. He always wanted to
know how I was getting along,
how my brother was, and all that.
Finally I drove up there for a
weekendand was met at the Kel-
log Center by Steve Juday and
George Webster who took me to
dinner and a show later that
"The next day I watched the
Spartans go through spring drills
and then coach Daughtery took
me to his home and we had dinner
there. One of the things I re-
member mest about coach Daugh-
tery was his insistance that I
call him Duffy. Whenever he talk-
ed to my parents he insisted that
they call him Duffy also."
But not even Duffy's friendly
and personable nature could turn
John away from Michigan. Gab-
ler's brother, Wally, quarterback
the team two years ago and John
hopes to carry on the family foot-
ball tradition here. But as John
said, "I didn't come here simply
because Wally played here. I came
here because I was highly impress-
ed with coach Elliott and because
Michigan is the only school I
know of that is in the top ten in
this country, both academically
and athletically. Ann Arbor is
quite a place and I don't regret
my decision at all," he-concluded.
There will be a meeting
Thursday, September 7, at 7:30
p.m. at the IM Building for all
those wishing to enter teams
in the Independent IM Football
League, and also for athletic
managers. Individuals not al-
ready on teams, but who wish
to play, are also invited to at-
The red brick building stood tall, rectangular and foreboding
near the center of the world. It was like a great cavernous box,
omnipresent and unwavering, square small windows dotting its
sides and letting in streams of light captured from the bright days
of the mall and squeezed jealously from the more sporadic hours
Yet the windows were only half functional for they did not open
to the breezes or the smell of the trees. Instead they were sealedand
unmovable and though the inhabitants of the building could looked
through them and even sense the movement of the outside air they
never actually felt it. Instead, whatever air that was finally made
available to them had to be "conditioned" first by an elaborate and
expensive system of pipes and vents which dotted the brightly colored
walls of the structure.
The light from the windows was supplemented voluptously by
giant florescent lights that left no corner untouched and gave no desk
or shelf even the momentary respite of a shadow or cloud cover.
Of course there were the six or so hours of darkness which
came shortly after midnight and lasted until dawn. But none of
the people were ever allowed in the building at this time so none
of them knew what it was like when it was still and dark, sheltered
from the past paced tromping of the multitudes that decorated
it in the day.
The building was only a few hundred yards from the center of
the world and indeed the untrained or slightly gullible observer could
have been convinced in a moment that it was the actual center of
everything. For there was always a steady stream of people in and
out its doors and they seemed bound by unwritten laws to spend their
mornings, afternoons, and even precious evenings in its confines.
There were no bars to keep them in or policemen running outside to
chase them in, yet still they always came, looking haggard. They were
driven not from the outside but from a source more powerful than
any policeman could ever hope to be, a source inside themselves,
deeply inbedded from which there was no hope of escape.
The dread was always on their faces, inside the place or when
they contemplated it from the outside. And of course those few who
who came less seemed to dread it even more when they did come.
And those who wasted their time inside instead of working, looked
with dread and despair at the clock on the wall and the passing days.
For they knew, that no matter how little or much they worked they
would be given no mercy in the judgments.
And the judgments were terrible times for the people. The
weeks and days before, they would cram massively into the
building and stay from early morning and the latest moment of
night desperately working for or against something that was not
even visible to them; something as intangible and obscure as the
words they read with such haste and desperation.
Whoever the leaders of the world were, one thing is certain. They
must have known better than all of the previous world leaders com-
bined the secret of men's hearts. For they controlled the people
without the slightest hint of force, payed no wages and issued no
visible reward whatsoever with the exception of a small sheet of
paper at the end of each judgment session. Yet the control was so
rigid and extraordinary that the people strived not even toward a
common goal, united, but actually against one another. Each did
the exact task of his fellow (though there were several varieties of
the tasks) and seemed to be interested only in doing it better and
more completely than the next person. Had they shared their infor-
mation and ability, and banded together, the tasks could have been
accomplished in a small portion of the time that they spent. Instead,
like blinded puppies, they duplicated each others' efforts a thousand
times over, and then the next year, the younger ones came and dup-
licated the efforts of their elders a thousand times more.
Nor did they allow each other joy and mirth while they
worked, though it seemed that there was nothing to stop them.
If one spoke too loudly or laughed too boisterously, he received
only the scorn and muttered curses of the others. There was one
small room in the basement of the structure for socializing be-
tween them, but it was overcrowded and they stayed there
only long enough to replenish their strength for the coming
hours of work.
They were searched as they left the building, but none of the
searchers ever found anything because none of the people would
have ever dared to take anything, so complete and ultimately had
their minds been cleaned.
At the beginning the people had their own lives outside the
building and even met together in pairs sometimes for strange rela-
tionships. But after a number of years all their efforts became
centered in the building and the competition was so fierce that they
came every day at teight and stayed 'til late at night, and slept all
the hours that the building was closed. So intense was their zeal that
there ceased to be any need for judgment periods to keep them
motivated. It had become an instinctive thing.
Then one night, when the building was locked and dark, one of
the gray faced almost invisible leaders of the people came dis-
traughtly out of a back office marked "Regent" on the door. 'He
stood in the hall a second, seeming to remember something dark and
perplexing out of his long dead childhood. A tear dropped from his
bloodshot eye. Then with one supreme effort of his all too powerful
brain he blew the building and all its contents to shreds.
When the people came to work the next morning and found
the building gone, they didn't know what to do. Finally one of
the oldest among them mumbled something about a place where
peoplehad once gone in their spare time, to have fun. None of
the "UGLIS" (this was the name which citizens of the country
bore at that time) had ever heard either of 'spare time' or 'fun,'
but they followed the old one to a place not far away. And there,
behind the fences and trees of the strange green Arboretum, as
it was called, they struggled together, happy at last and built
families, homes, industries, and finally a university with a
beautiful rectangular library.
The Last Uses.
By E. Winslow
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