PAGE TWO THE SUMMER MJIIMGAN DAILY

TUESDAY, JULY 20, 1926

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OFFICIAL NEWSPAPER OF THE
UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
SUMMER SESSION
Published every morning except Monday
during the University Summer Session by;
the Board in Control of Student Publica-
tions.
The Associated Press is exclusively en-
titled to the use for republication of all news
dispatches credited to it or not otherwise
credited in this paper and the local news pub-
lished herein.
Fntered at the Ann Arbor, Michigan,
postoffice as second clas motter.
Subscription by carrier, $i.-o; by mail,
$2.00.
Offices Press Building, Maynard Street,
Ann Arbor, Michigan.
Comniunications, if signed as eviaence of
good faith, will be published in The Summer
Daily at the discretion ot the h-ditor. -n-
bigned con uunications will receive no con-
sideration. The signature may be omitted in
p'ublication ii desired by the writer. The
Summer Daily does not necessarily endorse
the sentiments expressed in the communica-
tions.
EDITORIAL STAFF
Telephone 4925

CAMPUS OPINION
Anonymous communications will be
disregarded. The names of communi-
cants will, however, be regarded as
confidential upon request.
KNOW WHEREOF YE SPEAK
To the Editor:
In last Sunday's Daily an editorial
appeared dealing with the current
nonsense about a glacial period. "In
the opinion of many of our foremost
scientists " it says, "this may )e the.
last of our summers that we can prob-
ably call by that name.." The edi-
torial proceeds to hold up these "pet-
ticoated scientists" to ridicule-and
how very easy it is to draw a carica-
ture and then make fun of it. The
editorial is typical of thousands of
others printed in the newspapers of
this and probably other countries, and
brought forth by the recent newspaper

jOASED ROLL
BRAYTi SMYTHE
SURPRISED
The Alpha Beta fraternity at the
1University of Michigan is situated on
State street. It is indubitably the
smartest fraternity in Ann Arbor-
and the most limited in membership.
Every candidate must come under the
observation of the fraternity's mem-
bers for three dinners, at the end of I
which time he may be elected or
{blackballed ......
The members of the fraternity are
rich, idle, fashionable. The oldest
families of the state are desolate if
their sons, when they come to Mich-
igan, are not decorated with Alpha
Beta pin.
One day five of the members were
sitting in an exclusive group. Brayton
Smythe, of the Detroit Smythes, sud-
denly asked, "Do clothes make the
man?"
"I don't know," replied Dickie
Treadwell.
The outcome of the argument was
that Dickie promised to bring a local
policeman into the house, dress him
up and have him elected into Alpha
Beta fraternity at the end of the first
dinner. Brayton bet acool five thou
that it couldn't be done.
Five doys later smiling Red O'Mur-
phy was a member of the exclusive
Alpha Beta fraternity.

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The Diary of a Young Lady of Fashion
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MANAING EDITOR report which has been given such wideI
MANNING HOUSEWORTH publicity.
Chairman,
Editorial Board......Eugene 11. (lutekunst As to whether or not we are ap-
City Editor .............. William R. Breyer oci aglil
Music and Dtama........William C. Lucas proaching a glacial period we can let
Woman's Editor...........Julia Ruth Brown the specialists decide, and of course'
Night Editors interest in something which will notl
Wilton A. Simpson Theodore florniberger happen for hundreds of centuries isI
PaulJ. ernFrederick iilito
Paul Douglas Doubleday purely academic and so incomprehen-
sible to Main Street. But let us take
Assistants issue for a moment with the current
Gail Lyons Thaddeus \ailewski sm
George '. McKean Morris Zwerdling custom of ridiculing scientists. I hap-
pen to be acquainted with some of the
BUSINESS STAFF scientists quoted as predicting a com-
Telephone 21214 ing period of cold, and have followed
BUSINESS MANAGER fitheir studies on fluctuations of chin-
PAUL W. ARNOLD
ate with much interest. I amn certainI

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t, rcuia ion ...,..............
Advertising................Francis Norriuist
Assistants

Edward Solomon

William F. Cnl:I

TUESDAY, JULY 20, 1926
Night Editor-F. H. SHILLITo)
BE NICE TO THEM
About a week or so ago, on a quiet
and sunshiny afternoon, In the som-
nolent villige of Plymouth three hold-
up men entered the principal bank
and at the point of guns held up the
cashier and escaped with several thou-
sand dollars. A customer entered the
bank dring the hold-up and was sum-
marily shot in order that he might
not get in the way.
Later the same afternoon a police-
man at the outskirts of Detroit stop-
ped the bandit car and attempted to
arrest the thugs. Immediately they
opened fire and shot him in cold blood;
he leaves a young widow and two
tiny children which the state will
now have to raise. The widow has
left for her mother's home, her life
darkened by the terrible catastorphe;
the children will grow up never know-
ing the man that was their father,'
and a home of respectable people has
been groken up by the vile hand of
lawlessness.
All this the cold blooded city of
Detroit bore dispassionately. A few
thousand dollars will pay the widow
and the children for the loss of their
husband and father, and another pol-
iceman can easily be found. The bus-
iness of the city went on as usual and
there was nothing to ruffle the peace-
ful sky until Saturday, when the ruth-
less murderers who committeed the
crime were arraigned in a court
of justice and examined. Then
the wave of sympathy broke forth on
the front pages of the largest Detroit
papers, and the people of the city of
Detroit were moved to the core by the
pathetic story of the gunmen as the
people of that city seldom are moved.
It seems that the criminals are be-
tween the ages of sixteen and twenty
years and they wanted an automobile
and a vacation and so forth and the
only way they could get such things
was by killing people. Tears rose to
the eyes of Detroiters when they told
of the things they had wanted and
were unable to buy the same things
that the children of these D)etroiters
want and are unable to buy -but that
is beside the point. These poor murd-
erers., it seems, had never known of
any way to earn money by labor. and
nothing could be more sensible than
to let them make their living in ro-
bing honest people.
The criminals claimed they never
smoked, drank, or swore how much
easier it must make the widows feel
to know that their husbands were
shot by gentlemen. They used no pro-
fanity when ordering people to put upp
their hands--this made it a pleasure
to hold up one's hands and give up
one's money. Surely such gentlemen
should not be sent to prision.
The police must immediately frame
an apology for having so foully ar-
rested the trio and release them in
order that they may steal enough
money to buy the things they desire
before they are too old to enjoy. them.
This course, and only this, can satisfy
the horrified people and newspapers
of Detroit

that no one of them would have made
the sensational prediction contained
in the opening sentence of this letter.
Such an absurd distortion is the re-
sult of three things: One, an inter-
viewing reporter who was entirely ig-
norant of a scientific point of view or
of scientific language, modified, as it -
always is. by phrases expressing un-
certainty; two, a scientist whose life ' dw 9r
had been to such an extent devoted
to his work that he could no longer
speak a language understandable to Red Murphy, Alpha Gamm
his fellow mortals; and three, a night "But how," asked Brayton Smythe,
editor craving a sensational story for
Mondy'sediionof is ~apr. his"how in the devil's name could he do
Monday's edition of his paper. ThisI
combination results inevitably in some it all-good clothes, sparkling conver-
garledto repurporingvita beythsmepsation, irreproachable taste, excellent
garbled story purporting to be the op- glpiebigadhsselwy
inion of a scientist. No wonder edi-I golf, prime bridge, and his swell way
torial writers, when other topics failI with the women?
'fil the or ei "Well," replied Dickie Treadwell,
. abouhsewihs"Well, he got all his dope from read-
inches about these foolish.doddering. ing Toasted Rolls."
sensation-loving scientists. But the T ,
joke is not on the scientists, is it?
Most of them are a red-blooded, very Edtor:
human lot; because of their training, Ieeenrgoing with a fellow for
very conscious of the short-comings j three months now and somehow he
of the human mind, and consequently r
honestly uncertain of their own tind- doesn't seem to warm up. Every time
ings -un uncertainty which can mean my gentleman friend calls ma and me
ingsyu ncetannty whi st camean-fix him up a swell layout of food, and1
only incompetance to the rest of man wedntwn o-okyaon
kind. To be misquoted and ridiculed we don't want to monkey around
any longer if there ain't going to be
ply setting forth the details of a sci- nothing done. What I ant to know
entific theory would never be print- is, what shall I do.
ed in a newspaper, nor grazsped by the- .
public if it were printed there. IDear Sue:
Couldn't we of the so-called educat- am sure a girl with such a nice
ed public take an oath no longer to old fashioned name as your's doesn't
indulge in the ridicule of scientists? want to be thought of as chasing a

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MORE PRECIOUS
THAN "DIAMONDS"
To the ball player-to ANY athlete-one
of the most appealing features of his
favorite sport is the shower and rub-down
that follows the exercise. One three-letter
lad said he'd play on the croquet team if
he could get in condition and they'd prom-
ise him his Mifflin massage after each
game! One man likes basebal-another
golf-a third tennis-but ALL agree on
the delights of a Mifflin Alkohol rub-down
after exercise of any sort. .
Fine to soften the beard, before shaving;
to cool and soothe the skin, AFTERshaving.
Splendid relief for tired, aching feet; great
for sunburn; an efficient antiseptic and
germicide.
Muffin Alkohol is denatured by a tormula
which actually improves it for external use.
College teams and many other athletic
organizations use Mifiin Alkohol regu-
larly. Be sure YOU get MIFFLIN-in the
handy-grip one-pint bottles as illustrated.

Somethilng
to ee and Try
at Once In
a Pen at $2.75
Parker Pens in
Black and Gold
Larer aizs, $3.50,$55and$7
Product of Parker Duofold Croftn

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Preston E. James.
____ C MM __T
EDITORIAL COMMENT
WHAT THE FIGURES SHOW
(Philadelphia Public -Ledger
Trade statistics for the fiscal year
which ended on June 30 show that
the United States sold goods to the,
rest of the world in excess of what it
bought to the amount of $287,000,000.
During the preceding year this bal-
ance was more than a billion dollars.)
These figures are worthy of comment
from two points of view:
First, they show tdrat the rest of
the world is paying its debts to us as
a creditor nation. The small balance
of 1926 was caused by an incraese of
imports by $642,000,000 and a decrease
in exports of $111,000,000. A creditor
nation must expect its merchandise
imports to increase, even to the ex-,
tent of balancing off exports entirely.
This tendency may be taken as nat-
ural. But there is a second point of
view not to be ignored as natural and
inevitable. Secretary of Commerce1
Hoover points out that the increase in1
imports means dollars rather than,
quantities of goods, and that much the
same goes for the decrease in exports.
In plain words, we paid some high,
prices for what we bought and receiv-
ed some low prices for what we sold.!
Secretary Hoover mentions rubber in1
the first category, grain and cotton in
the second.
To redress this abnormal balance,
will take time. The tendency will be
for the United States to produce itsj
own rubber and reduce its exportablel
surplus of grain and cotton. Our9
trade is bound to show such abnorm-
alities until the proper economic ed-
justments are made.
"Americans, you know, specialize In
impossiblities."-Senator Walsh.

man. So, Sue dear, just forget him
I for a little while, and if he doesn't
come hack, just cut him dead. Re-
member, Susie dear, there is more than
one pebble on the beach!
Dear Editor:
I am 35 years old and I think it is
about time I am having some liberty
around here. A couple nights ago I
went out with a fellow who was a
lulu. But ma says he doesn't mean no
good by me. But damn it all I don't
want stick around home all my life.
Please tell me what I should do, as
I'm pretty sore.
-Dorothy.
Dear Dorothy:
I don't like your profanity a bit,
Dorothy, and I wish you would stop it
Really, nicy, nice girls never use pro-
fanity in any form. But Dorothy
dear, are you sure your boy friend
means business? I would be pretty
sure, before I attempted anything,
Dorothy. Remember, a stitch In time
saves nine.
Dear Editor
Tom and I have been happily mar-
ried for around thirty years and we
haven't had a quarrel. But you ought
to have seen the swell man I met the
other day. I admit I fell for him.
(He's a duck), Shall I give my oldt
man the gate or what? I suppose I
could put arsenic in his corn flakes.
What do you think I'd better do?
-Mrs. X.
Dear Mrs. X:
'What you need, Mrs. X, Is a good
old fashioned spanking. Any woman
who would deliberately murder her
husband in cold blood does not belong
in the society of self-respecting peo-
ple. Put that In your pipe and smoke
It. I am disappointed in you Mrs. X.
* S *
Hot
Oh, it's hot, hot, hot.
And don't think it's not
Hot.
-Beelebub,

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