2
I
"I t ibl dri "
m n, y
"I h ve to dmit ttl' ted
both tty (hi wife) nd e (hi
on). I'd yell nd criticiz nd
t ten d hit ... I 0 I'm a dif-
ferent pe no, I
d. drin in over 12 y
m d to
w child - d to ty."
Ed and Betty e" lkin it over"
with m . Th y coupl in th ir
, nd th ir only child, ter, 27
yea old, h a drinkin probl m
that i h din him to d j il or
death, and n. I'm workin on
helping them to "let go" of Peter. It'
dear, t le t to m , that whenever
Ed nd Betty try to help Pete , h
m ke ure to m up. It' Peter'
way of howing his nger toward hi
parent. ·TIl tr h every attempt you
m ke to help me, 0 you'll feel
frustrated, guilty nd I leep over
me," i Peter's m rchin ng.
Ed nd Betty have threatened
many times to stop helping Peter, but
each time he calls up with a crisi , Ed
and Betty give in nd help out "just
this Iast time."
I tell them that their threats are
worse than useless. They have two
choices: Either they view Peter a
hopei alcoholic inv lid, and give
him everything he wants, or they e
him as having the potenti I of being
a he lthy, productive person, in
which case they have to top "help­
ing" at times of crisis and at all other
times as well.
I warn them that Peter's reaction to
this strategy will be to threaten sink­
ing, in all kinds of terrible and scary
ways, to try to get his parents back
into the old, destructive "try to help
me so I can frustrate you" game. I
also tell them that there is a pos­
sibility that Peter m y not get better,
or may die, if they stop "helping"
him. But, it's guaranteed he'll stay an
invalid if they continue to "help." At
least, there's a chance Peter will
shape up, if they can cut him loose.
"But, you've got to mean it," I
repeat, "because icl}e. �.ts lyp
make the l�t'on worse.."
A I 'ht 1.:.' '-'?n?(\:>�.,m tm �\!A\"\;>
19 ou seems 10 10 on 10 J:,O
head. "That's how I finally opped
drinking. Betty threatened me lots of
times by moving back to her parents'
house with Peter, and saying she
wouldn't come home until I stopped
drinking. But, I knew she'd give in
to a few promises and apologies and
flowers, and in a few day she was
home again, and I went back to
drinking."
Betty continues the story. "Finally,
I just knew I couldn't live with Ed if
he didn't stop drinking, even though
I still loved him. I moved back to my
parents and told Ed that I wouldn't
talk to him again until he went to AA
and didn't have a drink for six
months."
Ed picks up the story here. "I was
so confident that she wouldn't be
able to follow through, but, this time,
she did. I didn't want to lose her, so
I did go to AA, and I haven't had a
drink since."
Now, it's my turn."1 w an ex­
pression on Ed's face before that
give me the idea that he was applying
his own experience with stopping
drinking to the situation we're talk­
ing about now, with Peter."
"I sure am," says Ed. "I might
never have stopped drinking if Betty
hadn't taken the risk of losing me,
and we're in the same Situation with
Peter. Unless we take the risk of
having nothing to do with him until
, he straightens himself out, he 'n
probably never do it."
"That's the choice," I answer. "It
worked with Ed. Let's all pray it
works with Peter."
For a copy of my booklet called
"How to Get Better Medical Care, to
send $3 and a large self-addressed,
stamped envelope to Arnold Benton,
M.D., c/o King Features Weekly
Service, 235 East 45th Street, New
York, N.Y. 10017.
B pile to II
Top 10 U.S. cHi s to liv in,
ccording to MQney magazin :
1. Sioux F lis, S.D.
2. CoIumbi Mo.
3. Au 'n,1i x
... Mi apol' -St. Paul
5. Fargo, N.D.
6. San Francisco
7. Honolulu
8. Provo-Orem, Utah
9. Gaine viii • Fla.
10. M . son, Wis.
SOURCE: Money ngulne
RELIGION
o other Temptatio
be have died. P ul Willi
himself in 1973, two years
w to leave beca e 0 al­
coholi m nd rei ted heal tli
problems. Ruffin died 1 t year from
a drug overd e.
Kendri is survived by his
parents and a si ter,
A funeral held recently at
the First Baptist Church in Ensley, a
Binningbam subwb.
l'P('()\II,\(� E\I·,\TS
Philadelphia, will conduct a
Church Music Worship Workshop
at Second Baptist Church, 441
Monroe. The work hop,
postponed from September 19th,
will be held on Saturday, October
31, 1992 from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.
A reception will follow the
workshop at 3 p.m. where Dr. Map­
son will be available fot:
utogtaR .. .P!..... _0 'I ..
will be vailable for purch e
during registration at 8:30 am. on ,
the Saturday of the workshop. A
complimentary lunch will be
. erved. Please call 961-0920 for
. reservations or information.
An Evening with
E ex Hemphill
Essex Hemphill, recipient of
National Endowment for the Arts
Award and internationally ac­
claimed Black gay poet and author,
will appear Saturday, October 24,
1992 at 7:00 p.m. on Wayne State
University's campus at the General
Lecture Hall (cornerofWarrcnand
Anthony Wayne Dr.).
Tickets are $5 in advance and $1
at the door and are available at Full
Truth Fellowship Church, 19700
Woodward, (313) 366.2400, and.
also at Sons and Daughters
Bookstore, 30715 Souihfiel� Rd. at
13 Mile Rd. in the Burger King
Plaza, (313) 645-�210.
894-8774
298-6333
298-6334
298-6335
Henry Ruff Rd.
Inkster. Mich.
Tempt tion ," Conforth id.
endri first headed the Prlmcs,
. ho moved to Detroit from Birmin­
gbam, then merged with the Di tan
in 1961 to form the Temptati9ns.
Then, the group cons! ted of
endric ,Otis Williams, Melvin
Franklin, Paul Williams and Elbridge
Bryant. A tandem ct, the Primett ,
later became the Supreme, who
teamed with the Temptations for the
1969 single "I'll Try Something
New."
D VID RUFFIN REPLACED
Bryant in 1964 and the group igned
with the Motown label.
The Temptations �d their filst
No. 1 hit with "My Girl" in 1965,
Music-Worship
Workshop
Dr. J. Wendell Mapson II,
author of "The Ministry of Music in
the Black Church" and pastor of
Monumental Baptis t Church in
-�?�
---- Gospel HOUrs .
w.e.H.B. 1200 AM - 7:00 a.m. - 11:06 a.m ..
Every Sunday Mom,ng
Send lJs \' OUt·
Church News!
Stand tu:
\·1 ichigan (�it izcn
12541 Second
P.(). nux OJ5()O
11 i�hl(lnd Park, \1I-lS2t}.."\
LL
- Eddie
dric , ori'
Temp tio ,
trail-blazln
both 010 ct member 0
the gre tion- ghting pop group.
ndri , h e fat tto helped
cany uch hi "Get Ready" d
"Just y Imagination," had "
eetne in not only in his voice but
in him elf," aid Shelly Berger,
Temp tio manager Ince 1966.
"There are many tenors and
many great tenors 110 are technical­
ly better than Eddie, but be had
quality that DO on could m tch,"
Berger ·d. "Many tenors y that
Eddie w the man that they patterned
themselves after. "
Kendri ,52, <lied recently of
lung cancer in h pita! in Birmin­
. gbam,llis hometown. He had blamed
. hi illness on 30 years of mOking.
In the 1�, the Temptations
were Motown' most successful male
group, trailing only the all-female
"-D�"'., endric' r-
elight erviee
recently in p "to
honor the m ic the Tempt tio
pepul rized which helped bring
America togeth r. They helped in-
tegra America, olutely."
elpin b greg tion
"w very important to ." Berger
aid in Los Angel •
"When they tarted performing,
there ere ro down the ai I to
ep the races, "he . d. "But it
became p 0 the contract that there
would be no gregation, That w
put in basically for the South. The
makeup of the audiences became
more mixed."
Kendtic "left an indelible
mar on the m ic ind try," said
David Johnson, executive director of
the Alabama M Ic Hall of Fame in
Tuscumbia.
HE SAID KE DRICKS
"blazed the trail for rhythm and blues
music in the early 1970s when he
went off on hi own. He proved that
he w certainly as much an artist on
his own he had been as a member
of the Temptations. "
The Temptations "brought roll
'n' roll into a whole new era. ... They
Albert McNeil Singers
The Albert McNeil Singers will perform Tuesday, October 30, 8 p.m., at the Frauenthal Center for the
Performing Arts, 45 Western Ave in Muskegon. The event is free to the public. For more information
call 313) 726-5387.
EYE ON GOSPEL
Growing
ain
•
By MARGARET MANSFIELD
. .
So while the movement is real and
the music is real, the marketing
remains unreal. What works in
secular has never tradi tionall y
worked in gospel, and gospel insiders
shake their heads and shrug their
shoulders as marketers calculate new
penetrations, never bothering to study
the game.
"There's no money in gospel,"
they'll cry, after having tapped
people who know nothing of the
medium, and spending a lot of
money, once again tarnishing
gospel' limitless potential. Just
what am laying?
Well, I'm venting the frustrations
of the gospel professionals who will
pic . up the pieces and carry the rap
when those equations don't pan out
I'm hoping gospel history won't
repeat itself.
Messiah's" Hallelujah Chorus will
broaden the very next night at the
taping of the Arsenio Hall Show to
include Commissioned, Clifton
Davis, Vanessa Bell Armstrong, a
core group from the Sounds of Black­
ness, and numerous other stars. At
press, Warners was still awaiting con­
firmation from Quincy Jones to con­
duct
The official announcement of the
acquisition of Sparrow Records
(home ofBebe & Cece Winans, Mom
& Pop Winans, Richard Smallwood,
Sandra Crouch, Daryl Coley and
Tramaine Hawkins) to EMI/capitol .
Records came with little fanfare in the
gospel community.
The recent purchase of Word
Records didn't raisemany gospel
eyebrows either. What all this means \
is the increased dis tribution of
gospel/contemporary Christian
product into the secular marketplace.
An action no doubt propelled by the
recent successes of artists like Bebe
& Cece, Take Six, and the Winans,
and f\u1her evidence of the fact that
secular distributors see where gospel
can go.
lt is only the next logical con­
clusion. But if this is so, can we also
assume that the natural process of
growth will ultimately mean elf-ex­
elusion with the defection of gospel's
more commercial acts .
. In fact, what we're actually seeing
unfol before our very eyes is a con­
cern ong waged in the-gospel music
industry, - gospel' ownpotenua! to
outgrow itself. But here's the rub.
D pile the currents, gospel remains
for the most part, a clo ed shop.
. IN THE MEANTIME, Marilyn
McCoo and Clifton Davis are once
again set as co-host of the Eighth
Annual Stellar Awards, to be taped at eek' ripture:"A good
UCLA's Royce Hall on November man out of t� good treasur« of his
5th. A performance of he much- heart bringetb forthlhat which is
touted Hallelujah Chorus (from good; and an evil man out of the evil
Warner's "Soulful Messiah" project) treasure of his heart bring�th forth
will open the two-hour pecial honor- that which is evil; for of the obun­
ing the best in gospel music. dance of the heart his mouth
Producer Mervyn Warren will 'spetJlceth, " ---I...uU 6:45.
conduct The lineup for the "Soulful ,
BrieOy: Rev. Milton Brunson's
latest project is an upcoming album
from his own church choir-the
Christ Tabernacle Choir, due later
this year on Word Records ... Sparrow
Records has cancelled their "Gospel:
Good For The Soul" national tour.
Officials say the much-touted tour
has been postponed until the Spring.
No formal reason was given for the
cancellation. The tour was to feature
Shun Pace ROOd s, Daryl Coley, and
Richard Smallwood and had been set
to get underway this month.
Chrl tma fair
Come to our am tID faim at
Good Shepberd Lutheran Church
in Royal Oak-Featuring juried
tables of beautifully crafted items,
handmade quilts and unique enter­
tainment. Why bake? Our country
kitchen offers homemade alsas,
breads, pies, and jams. Or, take a
cookie walk and create your own
assortment Our French Cafe will
serve quiche, soup and desserts r
Good Shepherd Lutheran
Church is located on Campbell
Road at 111/2 Mile in Royal Oak.
The Faire is open from 9 am. ·to 4
p.m. on Saturday, November 14th.
Call 548-3111. Don't miss it!
Chrlstma Bazaar
Held Saturday, November 7,
1992, from 10:00 a.m.-4:00 p.m.,
and Sunday, November 8, 1992,
from 12:00 p.m.-4:00 p.m., at 9844
Woodward Avenue at Belmont.
Afghan Raffie, on November 8th at
2:00 p.m., donation is $1 and
spaghetti dinner is $3.
Rev. Wilmore Allen
Rev. A.J. Rogers
Joe Ella lIketv
catherine Robinson
Gloria Parker
lorraine Walker
. , Bm Dunkin "