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(rom T/U CluJlUn, r
More and more Black American are eeking alternatives to
pre ent wedding ceremonle that are "too European" and therefore
not reflective of the total cultural heritage of the Black world.
Kojo Fo u, in the p mphlet, A Manual For African Mllrriage
Ceremony, offers tep by tep guide of an African wedding which
can be u ed tandard guide for tho e who wi h to conduct their
marri ge ceremony in pure African tyle, or by those who merely
ish to incorporate African traditional cu toms into the. marriage
ceremony of their preference.
There re everal modes of conducting marriage ceremonie in
Africa. They range from the very simple to the very elaborate and
involve arrangements. Traditionally the African marriage
ceremony stre e community participation, nd therefore private
home are ideal for the occasion. However the couple has the
liberty to choo e ny place of their own ta teo
Important Rite
Marriag� is one of the four important rites of pas age of man; the
others being birth, puberty and death. Africans regard the legal
union of the sexe a a natural step from the preceeding stage of
tran ilion (puberty). This is considered a very important stage in
the life of man. Childbearing is noble deed in African societies,
and marriage is the mo t important legitimate avenueof procrea­
tion.
AN AND woman who re jolne I
reg. Ins ulfilled 0 e of the hope 0 oc t),,' they
can help to perpetuate that society. The occasion calls for enjoy-
, ment.
A typical African marriage ceremony involves members of the
enure community. Feasting, singing and dancing are some of the
greatest features of the event.
Traditionally there is no need for paper evidence of marriage.
The whole community bears witnes to the marriage. This element
of legitimacy i po sible because the parents of both partie have
agreed to the union.
Their blessing and consent have been sought and given. The
members of the family of both partie meet, in the presence of
member of the community, and drink to the new union of the two
families.
A LIBATION IS poured to call on the ancestors to bear witness
to the union and the occasion. They are appealed to in order that
they may seek God's ble sings for the newly married and for the
community that brings gifts of foodstuffs, clothing, jewelry or
money. This is because the structure of African society is com­
munal oriented. The well being of each individual is the respon­
sibility of the community.
The Ceremony
The following can erve as a standard adaptation of an African
wedding ceremony.
(1) The couple will walk together followed by their parent who
would switch partners to symbolize the union of the 2 familie .
They in turn will be followed by friends of the couple, one each 'of
the opposite sex. There will be no maids of honor nor a be t man.
The whole group will walk to the officiating person to the tune of
Ayefore Reba (Here Comes The Couple), or the tune/song of your
choice played on the piano, organ, flute 0 any instrument. It can
Ilso be sung by a choir, friends or all the members present. It's best
done in an African language or to drums.
(2) The officiating person will give a few words of personal
advice to express the sentiments of the community.
(3) The following incantation will then be read by someone else
besides the Officiating person. Any trusted male or female friend
of the couple is qualified.. The purpose of the incantation is to
express proverbial ideas of marriage to spur the new couple into
bold new ways of life, and to inspire other singles who are present
into bold decisions of marriage:
It is and old African proverb
Marriage is not like wine
Which can be easily tasted
A nd left alon e
Yet the Great Nyame (God)
On whom one can lean
A nd will not fall
Had decried
Marriale as the criterion of
Social status,
That WI may produce
To enrich the race
A nd so you will be binded
Together like chains
In life and in death
To share a common relation.
For though the journey of
Marriall-is a long one
The Sage says
A long journey is undertake,n
By those who are prepared
For it.
A nd if 1014 are as wise
As the snake
- ,
,
- I
(
You can lay on earth
A nd still catc h
A bird from the sky.
(4) "Tufurahi" (Marriage Song Of Joy), or any song of your
choice will be sung by a soloist or the entire congregation.
(5) It is not customary for Africans to wear marriage rings, but if
you decide to exchange rings (which is the next step), it' uggested
that the man gives to the woman a silver ring and the woman gives
a gold ring to the man.
THIS CONFORMS to the African belief that silver is the natural
color of the moo which is regarded as the female aspect of God,
the Moon-Mother-Goddess, per onified by the Queen Mother of
many African ocieties. Many African Queens actually it on silver
thrones in contrast to the golden thrones of African kings, who also
personify the Sun, which is the male aspect of God (gold is the
natural color of the sun). Silver therefore signifie female royalty
and dignity while gold is symbolic of male royalty and dignity.
The ring will be exchanged quietly.
(6) This exchange will be followed by repeating loudly after the'
official, the "Consenting Words" by both the parents and the couple.
The official will read the following to the parents who will repeat
loudly:
We, the parents, 0/ Mr.--{husbands's name) and ItIi s-(wi/e's
name) acknowledge and approve the desire 0/ our children to live
as husband and wile and we pray that this union is everlasting.
The official then pour for each, a mall gla s of wine, and they
exchange their glasse and drink them.
Then the.official pours a gla s of wine, and while till holding it"
reads the following to the couple, who repeat loudly after him:
Let this wine symbolize the blood 0/ the generation to be created
by this union.
The wine i then pa ed from hu band to wife for them to sip in
turn. The official drink the remainder. The couple will follow
o
e
••••
One of the re te t my terie of life i the experience of
lovin nother per on ... yet the contempor ry definition of
love m y be conf ing. We ometime confu e pa ion itb
love bee u e e mi understand the difference between ex
drive and feeling. P ion excite the per on lity. Love
m e the pirit 0 r. Pion i power. Love i the only
power th t c n overcome pa ion. When people rei te only
through p ion their con cience i thrown to the winds. Love
i f r le exciting, but h imme ur bly more v Iue, for its
e ence i quiet u taining force th t well up from the soul,
filing nd oothing the empty p ce in one' being, a it
bring n individu I en e of completion.
Love i the true he le r. The power of love i
unque tionably the greate t power on earth. Where re on and
logic end, love begin .
Love nouri he the pirit and it feed the oul. Love is the
difference between mu ical note and he ring mu ic. It
creates a gratitude for life that emanate from the very core of
n individual' out, blo oming into the feelin, that
everything i going to be all right ...
Es ce, Feb. 1991
thi with an embrace only, after which they will be congratulated .
with warm handshake by the officiating person, the parents, the
friend who are immediately standing by.
(7) Aye/oro Reba (Here Comes The Couple) or the song of your
choice, or drums, will be performe as soon as the hand shaking is
over.
Four women, or if po ible, all women who wish to, will throw
extra cloth, handkerchiefs or headwraps at the feet of the couple
amid houts of "Ayeforo (ah-ye-fo-ro) ... Doooh (dough) ... Doooh" ,
as the couple walks out.
(8) A libation will be poured ju t before the feast begins. This .
should be done before a majority of the well wishers. A full bottle :
of wine (or palm wine if available) will be opened and half a glas '
poured. Ilqt I',
I An I elderty per on tio'ul'd He "'requeste� � ofYiciate tlit libation.
Africans believe that an e'Hierly per on i ideal beeau e of hi age
and understandably his wisdom which comes with his rich experlen- ,
ces in life. He is more capable of selecting the appropriate words
and proverbs fitting for the occasion. He will pause as indicated
and pour a little on the ground before he continues to the end.
THE IDEA OF a libation is to call on the ancestral heroes to bear
witness to the marriage and the occasion and to seek guidance from
them. It is the desire of the living to build the future on the past
performance of the ancestors, so that the new generation can avoid
as many mistakes as humanly possible. Africans do not believe that
death severs the ties of kinship. The deceased only goes to join his
kin men who have preceeded him. There is then a bond of kinship
between the dead and tbeliving relatives. This bond is very close
and the African constantly has his ancestor in mind ..
The following libation can be read by an elderly per on:
We pray for life and pray for grace
Oh Great Dependable Nyame and Friend (pour wine)
The Benevolent
Whose first nature is virtue
The source of all sayings and of thought
The creator of all good things of the world (pour wine)
Today is an important day
For the marriage of Mr.-and Miss -
If there be any barrier to their happiness
May you grant
The good spirits of our glorious Ancestors (pour)
Chaka the Zulu (pour), Marcus Garvey (pour),
Malcolm X (pour), Great soldiers of the Black World
Okomfo Amokye (pour), Du Bois (pour), Franz
Fannon (pour) ,
Great thinkers of the Black World
To clear their way
For everlasting peace and prosperity
Let not blindness be with them by day
Nor 'impotence their associate by night (pour)
May they be blessed with children (pour)
Oh great and noble Ancestor of the race
H ere is your wine (pour)
To share with us ill the marriage festivities
Nana Chaka receive this wine and drink (pour)
Nana Malcolm receive this wine and drink (pour)
Nana Amokye receive this wine and drink (pour)
Nana Du Bois receive this wine and drink (pour)
Nana Fannon receive this wine and drink (pour)
Ladies, Gentlemen, friends, well-wishers and enemies
Let all be well (pour) ·
I
, ,
,
I
I
- .
. .
"
[-Any favorite Noble Ancestors of the couple can be
substituted. '
--Repeat the names of the same Ancestors mentioned]
. �
(8) Beverages 0/ your choice will be exchanged between th� �
parents 0/ the well wishers, with the parents tasting them first. 'It
is only after this that the marriage least begins.
Music, dancing and merry-making take the rest of the day.
Congratulations II
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