BEITER LIVING
sOjourn r Truth Adol
•
· es of pasSage -. easing I
ado e cents 'in 0 adulthood
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If you think being an adult in
today's orld j difficult, try
being as adole cent! Many
people are bringing a time­
honored solution into current
use. This solution, the adoles­
cent rites of passage, is one
which we would like to see all
African American families and Project, Dr. Hope Hill, Acting
organizations make a part of Olief of the ACCESS Division,
their youth development Commission OD Mental Health,
programs. Dr. Frank Faire, author of Orita
The Sojourner Truth for Black Youth: An Invitation
Adolescent Rites �ocie.ty -Into Christian Adulthood, Mr.
(STARS)" in cooperation With Andre Watson, Director of the
the MAA T Institute for Human Male Youth Project at Shiloh
and Organizational Enhanc:e- Baptist Church, Mr. Ernest
ment, Inc. will be presenting its White WDCU Radio "Cross
Third Annual Conference on Talk" host, Ms. Wajeehah Jef­
How to Conduct a Rites of Pas- ferson, Director of the African
sage for Adolescent Youth. O1i1d and Family Institute, Buf-
The theme of this years con- falo N.Y. and physicians Drs.
ference is "A&ican American Jos�phine King, Hnez Hinds
Youth: Our Sacred Respon- and Robert Rhodes.
sibility,· Workshop spea�e�s The one day conferen� will
and leaders include Rev. W�e highlight workshops spe�cal1y
Wilson, Pastor of Uniou designed for adults �lfm� to
Temple Baptist Church, Mr. unde tand and establish rites
Money Helton, Direc�or. of of passage programs, and �or
D.C.'s Juvenile Iuitiative youth divided into age grou
(
Dear Di logue: Are
ti e r goi to 1m
colds re spread? Jim J.,
City, Kan. . .
Dear Jim: Two mam theories
are held by experts. One th�ry
has the virus propelled air­
borne. The other theory
suspects band-to-baed. �f
course, some experts believe m­
fection can happen both ways.
But in recentlexperime�ts, J?r.
Jack Gwaltney of the University
of Virginia locked. healthy
volunteers in rooms WIth people
who had colds. Only a mesh
separated the groups to prevent
physical contact. The healthy
group stayed healthy. But when
the same pairs were allowed to
touch hands, 11 of 15 caught the
bug - adding weight to the
hand-ta-hand theory. Frequent
handwashing with soap or even
plain water is thought to reduce
daances of infection ..
eli tanee pros. I r oae ey­
eli arouDd my Deigbborbood,
- . a d dy it saved my life iD
a eras � M., D 0,
Colo. _ I
Dear Louis: Right on. Most.
cycling wrecks happen within a
half mile of home. A itable
helmet costs from $20 to $70.
The bette ODes bear the ap­
proved sticker o� the Snell
Memorial Foundation, a non­
profit testing organiza�on. and
also should meet the cntena of
the American National Stan-
dards Institute.
8 to 12 years and 13 to 19 years.
Youth workshops will include
"On Becoming a Teen-ager,"
"On Becoming a Man," "On Be­
coming a Women, " "Affirming
and Practicing our Values," and
a "Post Rites Panel" (a panel of
young people who have com­
pleted the rites passage). Pre­
registration is encouraged,
The conference will be held
on Saturday February 18, 1989
at Howard University School of
Social Work, off of Georgia
Ave. N.W., Washington, D.C.
Re . tration begins at 8:30 a.m.
and the opening promptly at
9:30 a.m. and' continue to 5:00
p.m. I • •
Registration for this event IS
$12 advance/15 at door for
adults; S8 advan�10 at door
for youth (13-19)trs); $5 ad­
vance/6 at door for chldren (8 to
12 yrs.) Ten percent discount
for group for groups of 10 or
more.
Information available at the
MAAT Institute (202) 265-
0296.
�cist who will assist in solving
your dilemma.
Dear D alogue: I pay dajly
atteDtioD to y fingenaaU , be-
ca I t them perfect. But
I' p ed by b lId-up ri
aeros the nail . Could this be
diet? Cathi W., Ogden, Utah.
Dear Cathi: Diet might not
be the culprit Your manicure
might be overzealous .. Accord­
ing to dings of Dr. Richard K.
Scher, professor of dermatol?sy
at Columbia-Presbyterian
Hospital in ew York �ity, if in
pushing back the cuticle you
damage the nail matrix, ridges
may develop months later. He
recommends a warm soak, fol­
lowed by gentle pushing of the
cuticle.
Do you IaIn¥ a question about
penonQ/ hygiene or �alIh? Send
to D� 1M DUll Corpora­
tion, 111 W. Clarendon, M.S.
1616, Phoenix, Ariz., P81T1. FOT
(I penotUIl rqJly, send (I self-ad­
dlusld, ,Ulmped en�lo�
MICHIGAN CITIZEN 21
What ca ses
infidelity?
By Dr. Charles W. Fa
"Dear Dr. F ..... l'· .....
. Pm pu.zzled. Why do 0 any
hu ds cut-e (date s e­
o eelse) 0 their .'ftS and y
do so many ves ft affairs
with men other than their hus-
bands? Yet, yo veallof
e and omeD pleadi to
meet a "nice, oaderful mate· so
that they can get married aDd
spend the rest of their Ilv
together. It so crazy.
Ms. S., W hi on, D.C.·
Dear. Ms. S.:
I tried to figure this out many
years ago. I think the basic
reason for infidelity is "The
W.e. Fields Syndrome." w.e.
Fields you'll recall, was a
wonde;ful commedienne of a
by-gone era. He once sai� �t
he tried desperately to jom a
private club but was rejected
over and 'Over again. He wanted
with all his heart to be amember
of that fancy club. Fmally, after
months of begging, he was ad­
mitted as a member. Suddenly,
he no longer anted to be a
member because, he said, he
didn't want to belong to any club
that would have him as a mem­
ber.
In other words, W.C. Fields
wanted to belong to the club as
long as it rejected him and made
him feel inferior. However,
when the club admitted him, it
was no better than he. And, �ho
wants to belong to an inferior
club? H the club had rejected
, • I
him forever, he would have
wanted to be a member, forever.
This silly psychology exposes
our insecurity and it is basically
the same psychology that men
and women in our society apply.
As long as the potential mate
refused to give you his/her
phone number, refuses t� date
you, refuses to have sex WIth you
or refuses to marry you, you feel
rejected and inadequate. You
become overcome with a "need"
to have that person's approval
- instead of their rejection.
You are almost controlled by a
need to be accepted by someone
who is "better" than you simply
because they have something
that you want - their approval
That person, obviously (at leut
in your mind), has other ad­
mirers, and you are not as good
as they are. The object of your
interest must be dating other
people who are better than you.
H they weren't, why would they
reject you? In other words, you
want them because they don't
want u.
ds saeewy, doesn't it?
Maybe so but this is tho lop­
sided psychology that rna es the
world go round The crux it all
is this. When they finally agreed
to date you or marry you, you
don't want them any more - be­
cause they have lowered them­
selves to your inferior level.
They're "too easy to get"
My next column will give
more reasons for infidelity.
Questions may be directed to
me at P. O. Box 50016,.
WlIShington, D.C 20004.
f
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