ul
-Dear Dr. Faul-r-er:
I am a young mother with a
child 18 months old. My child is
a brat. He cries every time I tell
him to do something that he
doesn't want to do. What should
I do to get him to obey me? Ms.
W., ewMexico".
Dear Mrs. W.
Suppose that your child is dif­
ficult to control and objects to
everything that you tell him/her
to do. Perhaps the child cries un­
controllably when told to turn
off the TV and go to bed. At the
start of the fmal program that
you want the child to watch, say
to him/her, "When this program
is over, you will go to bed. Use
a calm, kind, confident voice.
When the program ends, turn
off the TV and usher the child to
bed. Suppose the child begins to
cry uncontrollably as an indica­
tion of the desire not to go to
bed. You should continue to
usher the child to bed, while to­
tally ignoring the wimpering.
The ecret is to act non­
chalant, polite, and authorita­
tive. Even if you are angry or feel
pressured, you must not show it.
You must act like the com­
mander of your own ship who
gives an order and sees to it that
your order is carried out. Be
yo
c
kind, be firm and do not bac
down. The child will cease the
objectionable behavior as soon
as it becomes clear that you
definitely (and confidentially)
. intend to have your order
obeyed.
The child who cries when
given an order is seeking to
manipulate your behavior and
get him/her way, when you give
in, you are giving the child con­
trol of your behavior and you
will confront this kind of resis­
tance quite a lot in the future.
The only reason that the child
cries when told to do something
in the past and he/she does not
want to do is because it has
wor ed many times in the past -
whenever you told the child to
do something in the past and
he/she cried, you relented and
allowed the child to have his
way. The child will continue the
practice in the future for as long
as it works. When it ceases to
manipulate you, he/she will try
other procedures in search of
another one that works.
What you must do is refrain
from giving the child's
manipulative tricks the results
that are desired. The child is not
born with any form of behavior.
He is conditioned to do that
which produces positive results.
o child does anything that
he/she knows will bring about
an Citizen
,
17
iI
be
distasteful results. If you have
conditioned the child to anticic­
pate your changing your mind
every time he/she cries, you must
completely change this attitude.
This will require time, patience
and mature self-control on your
part.
ior
It is easy to condition the
child's behavior prior to the age
of three. After that it becomes
more and more difficult as the
child gets older. After the age of
three, you are actually changing
or "strengthening negative and
positive behavior instead of
Texas style prison
Continued from 5
the African American com­
munity of the area which first
turned the tide. From the begin­
ning, the Coalition to Free
Clarence Brandley, including
the Black clergy, has supported
him with rallies, marches, and
daily prayer vigils at the trials.
At the conclusion of the
recent hearing. Presiding Judge
Perry Pickett recommended a
new trial for Clarence Brandley,
telling a packed courtroom,
"The pervasive shadow of dar - .
ness has ob cured the light of
fundamental decency and
human rights (in this case)."
There are now 261 inmates
on death row in Texas. And
Texas has the dubious distinc­
tion of having put more
prisoners to death than any
other state in the union since
capital punishment was
reinstituted in 1m. The ques-
tion is not just whether Clarence
Brandley can receive justice but,
also, whether this country can
morally continue a policy which
can so easily put a seemingly in­
nocent man or woman to death.
Appreciates
article
Dear Editor,
Thank you for running the ar­
ticle on the Catastrophic
Medicare bill which recenlty
came before the U .S.Senate.
With your help, the senior
citizens in this area heard about
the bill and 500 signed a petition
supporting it.
Thank you again.
Rev. Josephine Morgan
creating it.
This is the basis for practical­
ly all human behavior. This is
conscious behavior condition­
ing.
Dr. Faulkner may be reached
at P.O. Box 50016, Washington,
D.C. 20004.