Dear Erik,
Y brother-in-law may be in­
volved ith a good friend of
mine. This man is married to my
usband' younger . er. 0 , I
am not dole to her and neither
. my husband. We only hear
from her' during the holidays or
hen she' in need of some­
thing. which has been happening
lot lately. My friend has been
talking bout man, hom she
has been spending a lot of time
'th lately. By chance, I hap­
pened to see my brother-in-law
and my friend together in a
hopping mall having lunch! I
didn't know that they knew each
other. I watched them together
and they seemed quite friendly
. with each other. I don't know if
they're lovers or not because my
girlfriend won't ay a ord
bout her luncheon date, but I
have a feeling that something is
going on. My question is, hat
can I do bout it?
Concerned-in-law,
Chicago,m.
Dear Erik,
I've got a problem and I
ould like your opinion on the
matter. I am a 24 year-old col­
lege gr duate and I am working
for a well own stock exchange.
I have orked very hard for
everything that I have. Two
ago, I started dating a man
om I respect and love and he
feels the same way about me.
The problem is with my parents.
Once �y realized that I was
Sat 7:30 a.m.
serious abou him and plan to
get married, they changed their
feelings about him. My parents
feel that I shouldn't be involved
with anyone seriously. My
mother feels very strongly
against my relationship and has
taken it upon herself to talk with
our minister about me. I am very
embarrassed and don't know
what to say or do. Our minister
has called me and has requested
a meeting. I feel my mother is
wrong to do this to me and I
don't want to meet with the
family minister to discuss the
man that I am going to marry.
My boyfriend is very hurt by all
of this and doesn't want to talk
or see my parents again. I can
understand his feelings but I
don't think he's going to be
much help to me. I don't want to
get married without my parents'
love and blessings. Please help
me.
"B.N.",
San Francisco, Calif.
Dear"B r,
You and your boyfriend have
both been hurt nd perh p
that I why both of you are refus­
ing to meet and/or discus this
problem with your parents or
your minister. either or those
ttitude are going to be of
much help. It ould be wise to
take the meeting with your min­
ister perhaps he can shed more
light on your ramlly's objection
to your up-coming rriage. It
ould be nice if your boyfriend
could attend this meeting with
you. Tb re h to be reason for
your ren ch nge or ttitude
bout your young m • Try to
rrange your minister a
mee 'ng ·thyourparents,your
boyfrie d, and yourself. This
could be the be t ay for
everyo e to air their pent up
emotion • ThI mee could
benefit both you and your
boyfriend.
tAlways,
Eri W hlngton
15-21, 1987, Th
17
You can be a good sales ac or
By Dr. Charles W. ul er
We have previously talked
about proceures for manipulat­
ing the way others perceive of
you, ho to be a good sales
"actor," and how to develop
confidence.
Here are some tips:
1) Anticipate some amount
of tension during your contact
with customers. Irs normal.
Take a few deep breaths and
continue with your activities.
2) Very, very few people
take the time to analyze and
evaluate the things that you
say,so don't worry about them
hanging on your every ord.
Most people simply react to
your smile, your clothes, your
voice and your enthusiasm.
Use these rections to your ad­
vantage.
3) Use your tape recorder
as a toolto reprogram yourself
by recording the things you
would like to believe about
your elf. Listen to the tape
over and over again. With
your eyes closed, try to visual­
ize yourself succeeding.
4) Relax by standing com­
pletely still, balancing your
body until it ceases to sway,
breathing deeply, and imagin­
ing yourself sinking down
throug the floor. This will
allow all of the stress to drain
out of your body. Remember
to close your eyes during �
exercise.
S) When meeting anyone,
look them directly in the eye
and do not lose eye contact
during your conversation.
This will force them to con­
centrate on what you are
saying.
6) When you feel like argu­
ing, don't do it! Instead, gently
and indirectly, praise the
other person for something
they are wearing. doing. or
saying. They will respect your
ability to cope with their inade­
quacies.
7) In the midst of your con­
versation gently, but incon­
spicuously, touch the other
person. Quickly remove your
hand and continue with the
conversation. This touch will
comfort and relax the in­
dividual, and make them like
you.
8) Try to become as articu­
late as possible. People are
mesmerized by good voices.
Tum on a news program on
radio or television and pr c­
tice copying the annoncer's
way of pronouncing words.
9) Nobody is perfect. Try
to be the best you can and use
that level of capability as your
guide to succss.
10) Enjoy the challenge of
influencing someone's be­
havior (many people are in-
fluencing yours). Take the
risk. Don't let anything stop
you.
11) You can completely
change your personality and
behavior in three weeks if you
practice every day and, during
this time refrain from repeat­
ing old unwanted habits.
12) Always act interested
and attentive - make it easy
for others to agree with you.
Now, go out and make a mil­
lion in selling or in any profes­
sion.
DID YOU OW ..• that ac-
cording to psychiatrist Dr. Sid­
ney Lecker having a "stubborn
dream" will help you to high
achievement. Such a dream is
said to capture the imagination
and tends to inspire you to per­
severe no matter how difficult
the task.
WHATS WAR REALLY LIKE?
-- Put Yourself in His Shoes: - ...
Interview a Vet
CONTEST
There's neYer' been a c:ontest like this before!
Y ou've seen Rambo, � Gun, Platoon and
FuR Mdal Jacka. NoWslYOUR chance to .
down &ce to &ce with a Vietnam Veteran and
hear how the war � the· ci this one
person.
11m contest hes two PARTS: In the 6rst part
we you to inaaview a Vietnam Veteran
V eeeran and in the second part yoo to
eqx-ess what you think and frd about what you
heard by writinc onething or making a work
of art or music.
DEADLINE: Jan 15, 1
TO ENTER: Send for THE INTERVIEW A
VET CONTEST BOOKLET CCCO zos
Sooth St., F1illaddphia, PA 19146 21>-54>4626.
This comest i SPORiOled by Veterans
lrc., The Viemam V . the
the Central Committee for Co,n.c;cM:ntious
Objccrors.
AGES 15-23
PRIZES
$500
$100
..
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