THE ICHIGAN CITIZEN NOVEMBER 23 29,1986
7
OPINION
e adfn
Together
What Do You Really Want for Your Children? By Dr.
ayne . Dyer orrow, 1985) is a book which is packed
with helpful, and metirne quite rprisin information.
The que tion which forms the title of the boo was asked
of many parent and the answers they gave are the answers
which we all would probably give if we were a ed that quest­
. n.
It em that, as parents we ould like for our children to
be happy and free fro hang-ups in life. We want them to have
positive feeling about them lves; to be able to feel uccess­
ful s a per n, - regardles of the kind of work they do
and to h ve a strong n of inner peace. e al want our
children to b in control of their own live, to be sensitive and
caring about other people, and to be able to find and explore
their own potential. Dr. Dyer de ribe this as a 'no-limit
per n.
Saying that we want our child to become a "no-limit"
per n i one thing. But doing what it t es to rai a no-
limit per n i methin else.
This i the problem hich the book tac les. It e s to
help parent do tho thing which will help to rai children
to be the kind of people we really want them to be.
In each ch pter, the author pre nts a certain goal, such
building th child' If-esteem, and discu se the impor­
tance of thi goal in the child's total upbringing.
ext he identifie tho things which we may be doing
which would keep thi trait from developing, such a 10 ering
our children's self-confidence and n of self-worth by tell­
ing them that they are bad boy or girls or calling them
names uch a 'shorty."
Dr. Dyer then di u the rea ns why we eng e in
neg tive child-rearing practices. For example he suggests
that we may lower a child's self-esteem in order to make the
child ea ier to handle, or it could be that we have the need
to build up our own feeling of uperiority.
Finally,the author offers very workable strategie for bring­
ing about the desired results.
The materia] pre nted in thi book should timulate a
lively exchange of idea and experiences, making it perfect
for a parents' discussion group.
Games single people play
By Dr. Ch.. . Fau er
WASH GTO NPA
The so-called "Game" i an
inherent part of human relat­
ionship . All of us play it - in
love or in friendship. The
"Game" is the psychological
ploy in which one. person in
order to a oid being rejected,
pre nt the appearance that
they think will impre s the
per n in whom they are inter­
ested.
The paradox is that they
encourage the other party's
intere ith indications of
status through extra efforts at
improved appearance and
sophisticated mannerisms. Yet,
when the other party responds
favorably to the facade, they
project an air of non-chalance
and disinterest even though
they are, in fact overwhelmed
with the reaction of the other
person.
There is another side to the
coin, however. The game
player might display overwhelm­
ing interest by giving or accept­
ing the other person' phone
number but refusing ultimately
puttin it to u � There are
many people who mea game
of building their own n of
If-worth up n the number of
phone number that they give
or receive. Sincere per nal
interest is not the point. The
point is to collect telephone
numbers or give them out
and to u this as a criteri n
of If-worth.
W.C. Fields the late
comedian i purported to have
become quite intere ted in join-
ing a particular cial club
and acutely hurt hen rejected
for membership. After a hard
fight he was fmally accepted.
However, as on as he was
accepted he lost interest in
the club feeling that it wa no
longer good enough for him.
He said, 'I don't want to be­
long to any club that will have
me as a member.' The point
was that when he was initially
rejected it was becau the club
was of a higher statu than he
but when he was accepted for
membership the club was ud­
denly, on his level. I refer to
this as the 'W .C. Fields syn­
drome" or W.C.F.S.
Many single individuals are
unknowingly, proponent of the
W .. F.S. They display an
interest in meone hom they
want desperately to like them
becau of the high status they
ccord that person .• But when
that individual shows interest
they consider that per n to be
on the same level as they are
and thus not good en ugh
for them. e want what we
cannot have and when we
get it we no Ion er ant it.
There are tho who indeed
get more • kic "out of play­
in the game than they get out
of e hangin 1 ve and affe t­
ion. This is reflective of the
competitive inse utity that be­
devils each of us and hich
reflects the infighting that 0 -
curs enerally ithin the Bla k
race.
Thi cially-c nditioned
need to compete and win
keeps Black singles apart ruins
most marri ges and initiate
physical abuse of female . Until
we overcome thi competitive­
nes which is the child of
perceived inferiority, the singles
scene is likely to continue to
be psychological battleground.
Didyou·
know?
DID YOU
OW ... that
"HlJN ABOUT THE I<'ELANP PtJ1( - WE ALL 6()
ON TV MP SAV IT viAS A (MAT StX'C'ESS·
Thoughts expressed here do
not necessarily reflect those of
the publisher, but belong entire­
ly to their author.
The Michigan Citizen wel­
comes the comments, opinions
and observations of our rellden.
Send to:
The Michigan Citizen
16032 Woodwatd
Highlllnd Park, Ml 48203
DID YOU 0 ... that
violence in America' Bl k
communities has reached such a
level that according to latest
government figures 1 of every
10 Black males will be involved
in a homocide at some point
in his life - either as the per n
killed or the per on doing the
killing.
medical experts say hypnosis
can help you quit smoking
10 weight improve your per­
formance and be more creative.
In addition just about any
normal per n can be hypno­
tized to some degree and you
can learn self-hypnosis in just
one or two ssions with a
qualified hypnotist.
DID YOU OW... that
Soviet television has recently
made major eps to become
more entertaining. In contrast
to its past Soviet television
now feature games sho s, r ck
concerts Saturday-morning car­
toons and a fe month 0
a '60- inutes' -type investi-
gative journalism sho began.
The only limitation on the
sho appear to be that no
one who i ry high in the
Communist party will be investi ..
gated.
DID YOU 0 ... that
if you are not a happy a
you think you should be remem­
ber this: The best way to gain
lf-e teem and greater happine
is to have more control over
your life. Psycholo i ts point
out that feelin hel le to
change things i the single
greatest source of tre .
DID YOU 0 .. that
if you ever feel like callin the
White Hou the numb r is
202-456-1414.