JUNE 15 - 21, 1986 THE CITIZEN
Erik Washington
Dear Erik,
Thi is a riou problem to
me so plea don't take it
lighly. There is a young man
who ju moved into my apart­
ment building. He is every­
thing that I have ever wanted in
boyfriend. H has ed me
out twice and we h d' a good
time. y mother thanks that
he is really onderful. Last
night I found out that he is only
15 year old and I am 17! This
ha made' me very up t and
no I don't really kno how
I feel bout him. Do you think
I should tell him my feelings
or j u tart pretending?
C.S.
Riverside, California
De
ou d teD
E
Dear Erik,
This i my problem and I
hope that you can help me.
There i a man whom I am
beginning to care about. I'm
not really ure wh t his feelings
are about me. But I can tell
you this. He u d to go with a
very clo friend of mine. They
had a very long and from what
I hear a very passionate re­
I tionship. They broke up a
fe months ago and they
haven't seen each other. I
. ran into him and he invited
me out to lunch. We had a
great time. And we never
talked about her. When I told
her that I had en him a couple
of times and how I felt, she
was upset. She told me that I
shouldn't have anything to do
with him, if I were really her
friend. I don't know what to
do. I want to continue my
friendship with her, but I
like this man.
, Carol",
Ft. Worth, Texas
Dear "Carol",
You indeed in ery
tough 'to tion. But true
friendship hard to find d
e en harder to maintain. If I
ere you I ould thi in tenn
of keep' her. It obviou
that your friend ill cares for
thi guy. And there . every
chance th t he ill cares for
. Yo need to ffnd out if
thi guy es you 0 if he .
tryin to t b to her by
aye
W • gton
it
Dear Eri ,
Right now I am feeling
really low. I h ve been going
on veral interviews for a job.
I have come clo to getting
work but at the last minute
someone else got the job. I
am having a very hard time
accepting thi. I need to work.
I have bills that are now over
due. I am very good at what I
do, but it seems as if no one
will give me a chance. My
love life is a me and I don't
really care. There is no answer
• CHILDREN
"For the look
of Excellence"
TUES. - PRJ. - 8 a.m. - 6 p.m.
SAT. 8 a.m. - 4 p.m.
CLOSED MON.
IORCITIZE SDAYTUES.
926-6388
271 E. E PIRE
BENTO HARBOR
that you can really give me.
I just need to work!
x.x ..
Dear XX,
The only tit· th t I can
�ell you i to keep belie .
in yourself! And eep believin
in your 0 • We aD ha e up
and do ns in our careen d
during the do n period you
mu believe that you are goin
to come out of it becau you
will. It I becau of the down
period that e become on­
ere At the point you can
d elop a stron r and more
po 'tive attitud about your
life. Keep looking for job
and keep believin .
Pie write me ain,
E W mgton
In the
Service
arine Lance CpI. AT-
THEW T. HANSE , son of
Barbara K. Hansen of 6040
Marlow, Kalamazoo, MI, has
been promoted to his present
rank while serving at aval Air
Station ernphis, illington
A 1985 graduate of anis-
tee High School, anistee, he
joined the Marine Corps in
August 1985.
Martne Lance CpI. ADRE
L. HARRIS, son of Floyd L.
Woods of 3329 Sanford, us­
kegon, I, . has been promoted
to his present rank while serving
with 2nd Force Service Support
Group, Camp Lejeune, C.
A 1984 graduate of Muske­
gon High School, Mu egon, MI,
he joined the Marine Corps in
December 1984.
arine Lance CpI. ERIC T.
BREDE , son of Charles F. and
Lois A. Breden of 18160 Calvin
Hill St., Cassopolis, I, recently
reported for duty with 2nd
Marine Aircraft Wing, Marine
Corps Air Station, Cherry POint,
C.
He is a 1983 graduate of
Ross Beatty High School.
arine CpI. KERMIT P.
J ACKSO , son of Kermit E. and
Peggy J. Jackson of 801 W.
ilham, Portage, MI, recently
reported for duty with 4th
Marine Aircraft Wing Santa
Ana, CA.
A 1981 graduate of Portage
orthern High School, he join­
ed the Marine Corps in ovem­
ber 1981.
arine Lance CpI. JAMES
S. WILLIAMS, son of Daisy
. Williams of 1332 Terrace
St., u egon, I has been
promoted to his pre nt rank
while serving with 3rd Force
Service Support Group,' on
o inawa.
He is a 1984 graduate of
Mu egon Senior High School,
Muskegon.
GOP. G
by Dr. Chari S W. Faulkner
The Search
UNITED INSURANCE
C ANYOF'A £ A
321 PIPESTONE ST.
'. 4 1
OPEN: Mon.-Fri. 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 o.m,
NPA) -
have arrived at a conclusion
that will probably not surprise
you. After counseling hundreds
of nice intelligent people and
receiving many of your inter­
esting letters it is obvious
that loneliness and the desire
for companionship are the ele­
ments that determine if one will
live a life of happiness or un­
happiness.
For many people the arch
for companionship is an
ob ssion. The arch for
"love" i unending. This search
constitutes the essence of emot­
ional fulfillment. To fail to
locate the object of affecti n
negatively affects every other
endeavor in which one parti­
cipates. The unfulfilled individ­
ual is usually an unfulfill d
employee a disgruntled friend,
a bitter citizen.
Social desperation can bring
out the very worse in the lonely
person by making them antago­
nistic toward those who they
feel are the cau of their
loneliness-usually the opposite
sex. This is the paradox: The
very per n you would like so
badly to want you is the very
person gainst whom you is
the very person against whom
you direct your antipathy. We
hurt tho whom we love b -
cause we fear that" they will
not love u. But we remake
our elves just to get a positive
response from another person.
Here are excerpts from a cou­
ple of letters that I received
recently. "I don't like to take
hours to get dressed up and put
make-up on just to go to a club,
and hope that some man will
come over and a for my phone
number. It's degrading for a
lady to stand around a club
looking like prostitute jus
to g t a man but th t' th w
the game is played. Th t s wh
men want. And they don t ant
you unless you act ty and
phisticated - like you
more than you are. I get sic
performing. Why can't I ju t
be my plain 1 ving If? Lind ,
PA."
Here is hat r. K.V.J. 0
hicag said in his 1 tter.
"Every woman is just playing a
game. The way they act and
dress tells me that they n't
di me unles I 1 0 prosp r u .
Sure I a t 0 1 but if I don't
they n't even dance with m .
11 they want is a 'up rfly.
They ought to top complainin
about Bla k men bing ph ny,
e wouldn t b phony if they
w uldn't be ph ny. They g t
e actly what they are 1 kin
for and they still complain.'
Here is the situati n: Tw
people acting out a fantasy.
Perforrrring as i on stage,
hiding their real selves. F ear­
ful that they will be rejected
if they reveal their ne d for
companionship. Doing what
they think the other person
wants. And resenting that
per n for making them into
something that they are not.
Yet becau of their urgent
desire to be wanted they re­
gularly carry out this distaste­
ful ritual.
And its all a game. Most
people are uncomplicated and
seek uncomplicated relation­
ships. But there they are - at
clubs parties walking the d wn­
town streest putting on an act.
But wishing that they could just
be accepted as they really are.
And . . . the search, unfo­
tunately goes on.
LIFE, HEALTH & FIRE INSURANCE
Syl'lil Robinson
SII s �apr ntativ
616/925-596
BACK AND NECK CLINIC
BOARD ELIGIBLE CHIROPRACTIC ORntOP Dl
Dr. Jo n H. McDon. d, N.D., D.C.· Dr. John C.B. McDon. d, B.A .. D.C.
Dr. '.ul. Schl nzk., B. ,D.C. .
cDonald
Chiropractic Clinic
BACK, HIP lEG PROBlE S
ECK, SHOULDER & AR CO DITIONS
WHIPLASH INJURIES
orlt Inj r Au 0 Acetan In urllne. C .... , icaid a .d ca,. Pat nis Acc.p
Phone 9a5�BACK or 925-3232
763 E. N.p .r rvtno Sou at.. h' n for as y a... Acro fro J .I-Osco
4.toe: • w. t of Th. Orchards ... I
