w. F 'ulkner
How does shynes develop?
It begins very early in life.
hen one is an infant.
t the age of six months,
the child i very inquisitive and
without inhibition investigates
everything from knobs on the
television set to the parent's
favorite va . Fearing that the
child will hurt himself in the
proce of breaking valuable
property the parent reprimands
him by saying: 'Stop. Don't
do that. You are a bad baby."
The parents reprimand the
child in a similar manner every
time the child does something
wrong. Eventually the child
begin to eva}", ... te his behavior
before doing anything. He
wonder 'will I be punished if
I do this? Will my parents
approve of my behavior? Will
they op liking me if I do it?
Shy adult a nearly the
same que tions each time they
come into contact with another
per n. In other words, the
y adult i almost identical to
the shy child in that he fears
rejection to uch an extent that
he will not do anything at all
if there i even a small chance
th t he will displease meone,
o you can clearly e that
the most important thing in
the life of the shy per on is
to be accepted by other people.
His opinion of him ]f is 0
ne ative that he is emotion­
ally un ble to tolerate the
ighte criticism. If he has
the mo minute impres ion that
meone will not like him he
will br hi ne to make
them like him. Such a person
may be . overwhelmingly cour­
teous that you might be dis­
gusted with him and actually
reject him. His extreme efforts
to make other people like him
are often interpreted as per­
sonal weaknes . this is another
reason for people to reject
him. In other words, his pro­
found efforts to make people
like him usually backfire and
make people dislike him.
There are numerous other
characteristics of the shy person
that stand out: If rejected or
involved in an unpleasant con­
flict with nether person, he will
become so obsessed with a
sense of guilt that many sleep­
le s night will follow; he will
feel insecure or inferior to
anyone whom he perceives to
be "better" then he, and his
judgment may be solely based
upon the appearance or be­
havior of e other person; and,
he is usu a 'worrier" who
expects the worse outcome
from any endeavor. He u ually
finds it much easier to imply
avoid contact with others. Thus
he is non- cial. Incidentally
an acutely shy per n who has
been badly hurt in the past
experiences might take drastic
eps to hurt himself or others.
Suicide and social violence are
not unu ual.
To urn it up, shyne i the
re ult of childho d reje tion
and constant reprimands (which
might be accompanied by the
remark: "Y ou are a bad
child" . The child becomes
o
t
BER 1,1915 THE CITIZEN
self-conscious and refrain from
any behavior that may cause
him to be rejected or repri­
manded. Rather than be re­
jected, he will imply stay
away from other people. His
self-esteem is exceptionally low.
ow for the interesting reve-
lation. ost people exhibit
some degree of shynes or, to
put it another way most people
fear rejection to orne extent.
The person who e mind goes
blank during a test· who is
afraid to address a group of
people, who lets others push
him around ho is not asser­
tive - these behaviors result
from shyness.
The shy per n need nl
a t confident and other p opl
will treat him with re p t.
DSS �hief comments on racial adoptions
Continu d from Page 6
ideration of major f ctors
which relate to best interest of
each child. The primary go I
i to pl e the child with a
permanent family at the earlie t
possible time and to keep tern­
porary placements of any child
to an ab olut minimum. The
objective of all pla ements is to
find a home for the child which
will best meet the need of that
child.
Individual DSS poli ie ex­
pressing a preference for pIa e­
ment of children ith th ir
fo ter familie pIa ement f
hildren with families of like
ion.
alw ys we rem in open to
discu sion of any proposed
ch nge in poli y or pra ti e
that would better meet the
needs of ichig nand e re­
main respectful of the due
pro es rights of thos ho
differ ith DSS de ision.
Agnes M. Man ur
t
226 Pipe ton t.
Bent n Harb
Te D y
Ent rpri es
harl D. 11
Publi h r
7
nday