D
Erik,
I am bout to become engag
to man ho i ten y older
th n I am.� I am 23 ye old,'
thi . I be my first marri
but it will be h' ond. Hi
fi wife died 0 year 0
and he t about her all the
time. Ho . much they loved
each other and ho she obeyed
his every . , rule and ta .
Althou I 10 e him and trust
him completely, I am ill a
littl raid of him. He h
er hit me or anything e
th t but he h y of punish-
in m he er I do or y
mething he doe not approve
of. Sometimes he . embar­
me in front of our friend
or my family by tellint them
methin ery personal ut
me. This' just one of his ay
to te h me a Ie 0, when he
feel that I am wrong. Plea
don t e me wron he me
nderful qualitie and at tim
quite loving. But I t to
ell ays, but
I ould
ppreciate any advice that you
h e to offer.
- Thank you,
R.S.,
Chicago, ILL.
D ar R.S.,
t 33 there i little chance
in ou changing his per nality,
thought , or ways.. hat he i
doin to you' wrong and what
y u are allowing him to do to
you i ry rong. Out of orne
tr need thi man has t
him t up a a deity
�
ZEE'
Fine Food
RESTAURANT
456 S. FAIR
Benton Harbor
(Located inside the
J.R. Club
where the finest .
cocktails are served)
Phone: 927-1612
Open for Lunch
Mon-Fri 11: 30 to 3 pm
**
.ctating hi rul and If-
made law f rut folio .
If y u are afraid of him wh
would you even entertain the
though of an engagement and
marria e. listen to that inter
voice in ide of you and stay
away from him.
Sincerely
Erik Washington
Dear Erik,
All of my life I'm 30 00 ,
I have felt in cure. I have
al y had a very 10 self-
eem that my life h j
been miserable. I really don'
have friend but I do ant to
me change but I don't
here to art. In college
I 8 very y d I had dif­
ficult tim ju t getting through
the d y. Though I have a good
job, I ju t don't h ve the money
to a p chiatri t. I kno
that I could use help but. I don't
kno what tep to t e or hy
I ha e y felt thi ay.
'Jim',
Br06kyn, e York
Dear 'Jim',
Quite often the causes for
low If-esteem insecurities com
from rious childhood - pro-
iblems. Problem that were
,never resolved or even identified.
Don't let the lack of money
keep you from seeking the help
of a p ychiatri t or a trained
councilor. In ew York there
re agenci s and clinics that
offer free or at a small c st
profes ional help. You can al 0
help to bu 1
help to build up your elf­
respect, by taking complete
contr I of your life and actions
by doing thing that you feel
will better your life and circum-
stance . Respecting yourself
will cau others to respect
you, therefore reinforcing
po itive feelings about yourself.
Always
rik Washington
Dear Erik,
What i the be way to get
out of an en g ment? I am
engaged to � man, whom I no
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longer nt to be ith. The
. problem i that he i onderful
and he h a great job. He' a
great catch becau he'
ann and ry neere. But
I don t want to be married nor
do I want to become a mother.
y friends teU me that I am ju t
afraid or that I am ju t
neverou . y.mother tell m
that a lot of girl go through
thi feeling and that I ould
marry him becau I will chan e.
I respect thi man and I really
don't ant to cau him any
kind of pain. I don't know
what to do or say to him. I
no that I don t ant to get
married.
o name ... pie
o Town, USA
Dear 0 am,
If he is as wonderful as you
say then he hould understand
and respect you for being so
very honest. Let him know that
marriage is wrong for you at
this time. You should also
let him know that you are not
in love with him nor do you feel
ready for any kind of commit­
ment. Be honest with him and
your If.
Sincerely,
rik W shingt n
Dear Eri •
Whenev r men say mething
nice to me, I find it ¥ ry hard to
believe. Also I find my If going
out with guy that I kno ill
treat me bad. If a guy' too
nice, for me reason I on't
date him. I am very confuse
becau I really nt a nice
guy-
, Doreen",
Orl ndo Florida
Dear 'Doreen ,
In essence what you are
sayin is that you are a person
who does not like or trust her-
If. It i imp rt nt that you
learn 0 love yourself and thi
may a new idea to you. To
blame your elf is useless because
the problems probably started
when you were a child . You
need to ee your elf in a new
light. All of thi takes time to
change. And to make ure that
iu rna e the e change positive,
start now. Start by doing
things that you know will be
good for you. If y u feel its
too difficult to do it alone
then talk with a councilor or
p ychologist. But know that
you can change.
Always,
Erik Washington
- - "Got a proglem? Need
an answer? Or do you just
want to talk? Then write to
Erik Washington in care of this
newspaper or to: 'Dear Erik',
Times Square Station, Post
Office Box 755, New York,
New York 10108-0755- - -
•
JANUARY 23 - 29,1985 THE CITIZEN PAGE THIRTEEN
STRO lIT TR
FOR TEE S
'This generati n h the
'right stuff.' And lrnpres-
ion 5 ichigarr's cien e
u urn i laun hing them,
the first space-flyin enera­
tion, into the Space A e "
rep rt Rod Merten, Director
of Enrichment ducation at
the Lansin Mu urn Im­
pre si n 5 has rranged for
o teen to pend an entire
wee at the .S. Space
Camp in Hunt ville Alabama.
r "This i a nee in a life­
time opportunity for kids to
go thr ugh an astronaut train­
ing program," ays Merten.
'Participants will fly' in a
simulated huttle, pra ti
maneuvering in a weightle
envir nment , and learn astro­
navigation among many other
things,' erten c ntinued.
Th camp i divided int
two age gr ups. Level I is
for 5th-7th raders and co ts
$450.00. Level 2 is for
8th-10th graders and 0 t
500.00. These price in-
clude transp rtation via
Greyhound, courtesy of Spar­
tan Travel), room and board,
but not meals while in
tran it. Both levels run
imultaneously and will travel
down together.
Pre nt plans call for parti­
cipant to leave Lansing at
8:00 a.m. on Saturday,
March 30. Camp begin at
noon Sunday and runs
through no n Friday, AprilS
1985.
'We are asking for a
10% reservation fee by
February 1, 1985," Merten
added. Anyone wi hing m re
information should call him
at Impression,S (517) 485-
8116.
THE ART CENTER
The Art Center 125 Ma­
cob Place, Mt. Clemen is
proud to pre ent an exhibit
- Perspectives in C ntem-
porary Black Art. Th
exhibit open to the public
Friday January 18 through
Tuesday, February 12, 1985.
The opening reception was
held Friday, Jan. 18, from
7:00 to 9:00 p.m.
This exhibit is an invita­
tional exhibition with the
following artist participat­
ing: Gilda Snowden, Yo·
landa Sharpe ichael Gard­
ner, eal, Anthony Williams,
Michael Bowen, Ruth Lamp­
kins, Donna Bruton, Dewitt
Smith, Shirley Woodson, Bill
• STORM WINDOWS & DOORS
• PICTURE FRAMES
• GLASS FRAMES
• SCREEN FRAMES
.GLASS&SCR
CUT TO SIZE
• GLASS & SCREE
REPLACED
925-2311
-
ON
Sanders, and J. Arthur San­
der.
For m re in ormation re-
arding this exhibition or th
Art Center hours, plea e call
469- 6.
BE TO HARBOR PUBLIC
LIBRARY
Pre-School StoryTime will
be held on ednesday, Jan­
uary 23, from 10: 15 to
11 :00. The film, 'Strega
ona' , will be hown along
with tories and activities
for young hildren, ages 3-5.
The film showing for chil­
dren on Friday, January 25
at 4:00, and on Saturday,
January 26 at 1 :00, is:
"Once Upon A Time" - A
collection of Germany's fairy
tales.
B oks added to the adult
collection are: 'Bypa ing
8ypa "by lmer Cranton;
"The Seven ountains Of
Thomas Mert n' b Michael
Mott; "Gyps And Me" by
Erik Prerninger ; 'Frontier
by Loui L'Amour-' H
To Save The Catholic
hutch" b Andrew Greeley:
and ' omen C min Of
Age" by Jane Fond.
CRIM AL JUSTICE CO
CILCLASS
ST. JOSEPH - The uth-
western Michigan Advis ry
Criminal Justice Council has
announced their first training
of 1985.
This training will focus on
report writing kills. Em­
phasis will be on the pre­
paration of more effective
police reports. The instruc­
tor, Daniel Lee of the
ichigan State niversity
Highway Traffi Safety Cen­
ter will critique and analyze
personal writing style, with
an eye to improving the
narrative quality of reports.
This one day training will
be held January 29 at the
Van Buren Skills Center. The
s . n· will be repeated on
January 30. Participation
in these ssions is limited to
26 per ons each day, and
pre-paid registration is re­
quired.
For more information,
please contact Brenda Pavol­
ka,983-1529.
A.B.e.
Electronic
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SERVIC GUARA TE D
F PICK-UP a DELIVER
T. Y. c.
IQUI'
AND
APP L I A
., 0*
2185 RED ARROW
BENTON HEIGHTS. MICH.
PHONE: 926-744