WHY WAS ABRAHAM AFRAID?
The question is obvious: Of what 
was Abraham afraid? He had just 
been victorious in battle. He had no 
cause for fear. On this, the Midrash 
comments:
Another reason for Abram’s fear 
after killing the kings in battle was 
his sudden realization: “Perhaps I 
violated the Divine commandment 
that the Holy One, blessed be He, 
commanded the children of Noah, 
‘He who sheds the blood of man, 
by man shall his blood be shed.’ Yet 
how many people I killed in battle.” 
(Tanchuma Buber, Lech Lecha 19) 
Another Midrash puts it slightly 
differently and more precisely:
Abraham was filled with 
misgiving, thinking to himself, 
Maybe there was a righteous or 
God-fearing man among those 
troops which I slew. (Bereishit 
Rabbah, 44:4)
What is going on in these 
sources? For this we need 
to borrow a concept from 
philosophy, namely, the idea of 
a moral dilemma. This phrase is 
often used imprecisely, to mean 
a moral problem, a difficult 
ethical decision. In fact, it means 
something more specific. Moral 
problems are often of the form: 
What is the right thing to do in the 
circumstances? A moral dilemma 
is different. It arises in cases of 
conflict between right and right, 
or between wrong and wrong — 
where, whatever we do, we are 
doing something that in other 
circumstances we ought not to do.
The Talmud 
Yerushalmi (Terumot 8) describes 
one such case, where a fugitive 
from the Romans, Ulla bar Koshev, 
takes refuge in the town of Lod. 
The Romans surround the town, 
saying: Hand over the fugitive or 
we will kill you all. Rabbi Joshua 
ben Levi persuades the fugitive to 
give himself up. This is a complex 
case, much discussed in Jewish law, 
but it is one in which both alterna-
tives are tragic. Rabbi Joshua ben 

Levi acts in accordance with Jewish 
law, but the Prophet Elijah asks 
him: “Is this the way of the pious?” 
[Ve-zu mishnat ha-chassidim?]
Jean-Paul Sartre, speaking of 
existential decisions, gave the 
example of a Frenchman during the 
war who has an elderly and ailing 
mother with no one else to look 
after her. Should he stay with her, 
or should he join the resistance?
Life presents us with many such 
decisions. They are particularly com-
mon among those in public life, who 
are sometimes faced with courses 
of action that are in the long-term 
public good, but with which they 
may feel profoundly uneasy as pri-
vate individuals. There are no easy 
answers in such cases. If there were, 
they would not be dilemmas.
It is one of the tests of a moral 
code that it does not present moral 
choices as easier than they are. 
There are moral dilemmas. They 
are a fact of the moral life. There 
are times when a good human 
being, even if he or she does the 
right thing, will still experience 
(not remorse but) regret. We will 
still suffer pangs of conscience even 
though we know we are justified in 
what we do.
One of the most profound 
examples of this is the remarkable 
book The Seventh Day that 
emerged from discussions among 
Israelis after the Six Day War. 
Although they had achieved one 
of the most stunning military 
victories in history, the prevailing 
tone is one of distress that they 
had been forced to kill in order 
to defend their country and 
people. Never, I suspect, has a less 
militaristic work emerged from a 
victorious army.
That mood was born thousands 
of years earlier, when Jacob, father 
of the Jewish people, experienced 
not only the physical fear of defeat 
but the moral distress of victory. 
Only those who are capable of 
feeling both can defend their bodies 
without endangering their souls. 

DECEMBER 12 • 2024 | 45

Finding
Life’s Blessings

O

n Oct. 7, 2023, 25-year-old 
Barak Nixon witnessed 
the horrors of the Nova 
Festival massacre. He and two friends 
ran, dodged bullets and hid in a 
bathroom stall near the festival 
site. When they were finally 
rescued by IDF soldiers, they 
were told, “You are the last 
three survivors in this area.”
In the aftermath, Barak felt 
utterly broken; and his closest 
family members couldn’t 
look him in the eye because 
the pain was too intense. 
However, with the guidance 
of a rabbi from Afula, Barak 
made a choice: He would 
grow; he would share and, 
alongside his agony, express 
gratitude to G-d for being saved.
Not long after, Barak shared his 
story at a synagogue in Rishon 
L’Tzion. Among those present was 
a young woman, Li-Odel, whom he 
met afterward. A little while later, 
Barak and Li-Odel married. Today, 
they are building a home and family 
together, rooted in faith, resilience 
and love.
The Torah portion of Vayishlach 
includes one of the most iconic 
scenes in Genesis — the all-night 
battle between Jacob and the 
mysterious “Ish” who attacked him. 
At the end of the struggle, Jacob 
is victorious; his opponent was no 
ordinary person, but a celestial being.
As the angel is about to leave, 
Jacob asks for his blessing. The angel 

grants it and changes Jacob’s name 
to Israel, saying, “You have struggled 
with [an angel of] God and with 
men, and you have prevailed.”
A unique message is found in 
Jacob’s request to his opponent 
after the battle: “Bless me.” It 
is strange to ask an enemy for 
a blessing, but this message is 
profound.
Jacob had just endured a 
painful struggle. As he was 
ready to move forward, he 
asked to be blessed, seeking the 
blessing behind the struggle. 
In life, we face challenges 
— some easier, some harder. 
Some we will overcome 
triumphantly, and others may 
cause lifelong pain. In each, 
we must challenge ourselves to find 
a blessing — something that makes 
us better, stronger, more sensitive to 
others and more aware of G-d.
Three weeks ago, Rabbi Zvi Kogan, 
a colleague and Chabad emissary to 
the UAE, was murdered simply for 
being Jewish. In the Chabad world, 
there is deep pain and brokenness. 
Yet, alongside that pain, there is 
a commitment to continue Zvi’s 
holy work and to add more light of 
Torah and mitzvot in his memory. 
It won’t erase the pain, but it will be 
the blessing that emerges from this 
struggle. 

Rabbi Shneur Silberberg is the outreach 

director of Bais Chabad Torah Center in West 

Bloomfield.

TORAH PORTION

Rabbi 
Shneur 
Silberberg

Parshat 

Vayishlach: 

Genesis

32:4-36:43; 

Obadiah

1:1-21.

