10 | NOVEMBER 7 • 2024 

gogues and institutions for their part must 
also hustle to get people’s attention and build 
meaning. 
“It’s everyone’s struggle to get kids to feel 
part of the tradition, part of the synagogue, 
to get kids to go to Jewish extracurricular 
activities, but if we make it compelling and 
if we really let the kids know how important 
they are to our institutions and treat them like 
they’re really owners, they own the institution 
like the adults do, and we can get them there.
” 
Rebecca Feldman of Huntington Woods, 
who has four kids, said there isn’t a lot of fric-
tion between their secular and religious obliga-
tions because, for the most part, their friends 
and family are also turning off their phones and 
staying local on Shabbat and holidays. “Most of 
their friends observe the way they do, so they’re 
with their friends all Saturday afternoon,
” she 
said. “That time, it’s just a different time.
” 
They also have friends and family who are not 
Shomer Shabbat join them for Shabbat meals, she 
said, adding that she’s always reinforcing to her kids 
they should be confident in their own Judaism and 
also recognize that each person connects to the 
religion in the way they think is best. 
“I think it’s important that my kids know all Jews 
observe their Judaism and have a relationship with 
G-d that feels right to them, and that does not look 
the same in every family or for every Jew,
” she said.
As for being together on Shabbat and holidays, 
she said, they spend more time together as a family 
during those times than any other time of the week 
because nobody’s running off to make calls, watch a 

game or head out for plans. 
The Feldman kids know there are certain 
opportunities they’ll pass on because of how they 
observe, she said, because certain things are non-
negotiable. The younger girls take gymnastics, for 
example, but didn’t join a team because most of the 
meets are on Saturdays. “They understood it was just 
not an option,
” she said. “We will never take up an 
activity that’s only available on Saturdays, like a kids’ 
activity or a sport.
” 
Figuring out where to draw the lines and when is a 
work in progress for lots of families, said Shayna 
Levin of Commerce, 
 

whose 14-year-old twins Andrew and Hannah took 
off school for Jewish holidays when they attended 
Huron Valley Schools, and now live in a district that’s 
closed for the major Jewish holidays. 
“They hated missing school, but we decided that 
practicing our Judaism was more important than 
going to school,
” she said of their earlier arrangement. 
One year, they sent their kids to school and went 
to services, she said, but that didn’t feel right, she 
explained. 
“I think you have to look at it individually, not a 
hard-set line because I think that’s what being Jewish 
is about — we have to ebb and flow, I don’t think we 
can expect the world to bend for us. If something’s a 
problem, you have to explain why.
”
It’s all about looking at the 
family’s priorities, she added, and 
acting accordingly. She said she 
recalls how, while growing up, 
her family found a synagogue in 
Oklahoma when they had to travel 
during the High Holiday season 
for her brother’s horse-riding 
competition. They brought their 
suits and didn’t know anybody but 
were warmly welcomed. 
“There are so many ways to 
celebrate Judaism,
” she said. “You 
make important what’s important 
to you. Just remember, your kids are 
watching.
” 
LEFT: Levin family.
RIGHT: Andrew Levin playing 
tennis.

ABOVE: The Feldman kids on 
the first day of school. 
RIGHT: The Feldman family.

OUR COMMUNITY
COVER STORY

continued from page 9

