10 | NOVEMBER 7 • 2024
gogues and institutions for their part must
also hustle to get people’s attention and build
meaning.
“It’s everyone’s struggle to get kids to feel
part of the tradition, part of the synagogue,
to get kids to go to Jewish extracurricular
activities, but if we make it compelling and
if we really let the kids know how important
they are to our institutions and treat them like
they’re really owners, they own the institution
like the adults do, and we can get them there.
”
Rebecca Feldman of Huntington Woods,
who has four kids, said there isn’t a lot of fric-
tion between their secular and religious obliga-
tions because, for the most part, their friends
and family are also turning off their phones and
staying local on Shabbat and holidays. “Most of
their friends observe the way they do, so they’re
with their friends all Saturday afternoon,
” she
said. “That time, it’s just a different time.
”
They also have friends and family who are not
Shomer Shabbat join them for Shabbat meals, she
said, adding that she’s always reinforcing to her kids
they should be confident in their own Judaism and
also recognize that each person connects to the
religion in the way they think is best.
“I think it’s important that my kids know all Jews
observe their Judaism and have a relationship with
G-d that feels right to them, and that does not look
the same in every family or for every Jew,
” she said.
As for being together on Shabbat and holidays,
she said, they spend more time together as a family
during those times than any other time of the week
because nobody’s running off to make calls, watch a
game or head out for plans.
The Feldman kids know there are certain
opportunities they’ll pass on because of how they
observe, she said, because certain things are non-
negotiable. The younger girls take gymnastics, for
example, but didn’t join a team because most of the
meets are on Saturdays. “They understood it was just
not an option,
” she said. “We will never take up an
activity that’s only available on Saturdays, like a kids’
activity or a sport.
”
Figuring out where to draw the lines and when is a
work in progress for lots of families, said Shayna
Levin of Commerce,
whose 14-year-old twins Andrew and Hannah took
off school for Jewish holidays when they attended
Huron Valley Schools, and now live in a district that’s
closed for the major Jewish holidays.
“They hated missing school, but we decided that
practicing our Judaism was more important than
going to school,
” she said of their earlier arrangement.
One year, they sent their kids to school and went
to services, she said, but that didn’t feel right, she
explained.
“I think you have to look at it individually, not a
hard-set line because I think that’s what being Jewish
is about — we have to ebb and flow, I don’t think we
can expect the world to bend for us. If something’s a
problem, you have to explain why.
”
It’s all about looking at the
family’s priorities, she added, and
acting accordingly. She said she
recalls how, while growing up,
her family found a synagogue in
Oklahoma when they had to travel
during the High Holiday season
for her brother’s horse-riding
competition. They brought their
suits and didn’t know anybody but
were warmly welcomed.
“There are so many ways to
celebrate Judaism,
” she said. “You
make important what’s important
to you. Just remember, your kids are
watching.
”
LEFT: Levin family.
RIGHT: Andrew Levin playing
tennis.
ABOVE: The Feldman kids on
the first day of school.
RIGHT: The Feldman family.
OUR COMMUNITY
COVER STORY
continued from page 9