AUGUST 1 • 2024 | 31
J
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Conflict Management
M
atot/Masei epitomiz-
es Moses’ leadership
though his conflict man-
agement skills.
As Moses prepares to cross the
Jordan to the Promised Land, the
tribes of Reuben and Gad ask to
remain where they are.
“Let this land be given to
your servants as a heritage.
”
Allowing two of the tribes to
abandon the others would
jeopardize the success of the
other 10.
In 1989, I co-authored a
book, Conflict Management: A
Communication Skills Approach,
that introduced a conflict
management process named
the “Five A
’s.
”
Assessment. Evaluate the
relationship of the parties and the
cause of the conflict. Uncover the
context in which the conflict takes
place and where parties can reach
common ground.
Moses explains the conflict isn’t
about the land at all. He refers
to the incident of the spies who
demoralized the people and a gen-
eration was lost. Moses says that
if they stay behind, they will have
turned from Hashem with conse-
quences for themselves and
for the people of Israel: “He
will leave you in the desert
again, and you will destroy
this people.
”
Acknowledgement. This
builds empathy needed
to find common ground.
Moses had been forceful,
blunt without outright
refusing. He acknowledges
the tribes may have a point
by agreeing to negotiate.
The Reubenites and Gadites
acknowledge Moses’ concerns.
They offer a counterproposal: After
settling their families east of the
Jordan, they will act as vanguards
at the front. “We shall not return
to our homes until each of the
Children of Israel has taken posses-
sion of his inheritance.
”
Attitude. The parties separate
perceived conflict from real con-
flict. Moses sees that the two tribes
share the same goal of possessing
the Promised Land. The sons of
Reuben and Gad recognize Moses’
authority. This is no rebellion. The
tribes have asked for permission;
their attitude reflects a desire to
reach common ground.
Action. This step implements the
conflict. One-on-one, Moses tells
the sons of Gad and Reuben that
“When the land is then conquered
before Hashem you may then
return, free of any obligation before
Hashem and Israel …
” He relates
the same content with a different
bias to the rest of the people: “If the
descendants of Gad and Reuben
cross the Jordan with you armed for
battle before the Lord, and the Land
is conquered, you shall give them
the land of Gilead as a heritage.
”
The promise to the two tribes is
personal, with Moses’ assuring their
innocence. The public announce-
ment lacks personalization and
leaves Hashem out of the equation.
The two tribes agree to the modi-
fied statement: “We shall do as the
Lord has spoken to your servants.
”
Analysis. Recognize conflict
management as an ongoing pro-
cess. We do not see this step direct-
ly. Indirectly, it is reflected in how
the incident of the spies provided
growth in understanding the conse-
quences of failing to follow through
with what Hashem asks.
The Five A
’s are normally used
within the context of business nego-
tiations, their use here may provide
at least a useful means for under-
standing this week’s portion.
David A. Victor is full professor
of Management and International
Business at Eastern Michigan
University.
SPIRIT
TORAH PORTION
David Victor
Parshat
Matot/Masei:
Numbers
30:2-36:13;
Jeremiah 2:4-
28l 3:4.