30 | APRIL 4 • 2024 
J
N

T

here’s an entire Talmudic debate 
about how to best clean for Pesach. 
Some say you’ve got to lift your 
entire home with a crane, turn it upside 
down and shake it free of chametz crumbs. 
Others say so long as you 
cannot see the crumbs, 
you’re totally fine, so they’ve 
created a loophole involving 
special-for-Pesach blindfolds. 
Most folks are somewhere 
in the middle. They keep 
their houses firmly rooted in 
the ground and do their best 
work with a phone. Meaning, 
they call their cleaning help and add extra 
hours in the weeks preceding Pesach. 
There’s also the DIY method, which can be 
very satisfying but has some unfortunate 
side effects for your family. (“I just cleaned 
that bathroom! Don’t use it!”)
I’ve been “making Pesach” for over two 
decades now and, as a result, I feel autho-
rized to offer some tips:

THE SUBJECT SHOULD BE TABOO
When you meet people inside grocery 
stores and start chatting over carts filled 
with mountains of Pesach groceries, never 
ask, “So ... What are you up to with Pesach 
cleaning?”
There’s an unspoken theory: “
Anyone 
who does more cleaning than me is nuts, 
and anyone who does less than me isn’t 
doing it right.
” Inevitably, one of you will 

remind the other that purging or spring 
cleaning is not Pesach cleaning ... and I’m 
telling you, it might be true, but hearing 
that after you’ve just spent hours washing 
your windows or cleaning your light fix-
tures is just not good for any relationship. 
Additionally, you might have felt all 
good about your progress, but if someone 
tells you that their house has been Pesach-
ready for days, and they’re already cooking 
for the seder, believe me, it’s not going to 
make you like them any more (unless they 
invite you for a meal, in which case they’re 
your new best friend).
No discussing Pesach preps. So what 
should you talk about? The weather. That’s 
why it’s changing now. Or look in your 
shopping cart for conversation inspiration; 
and ask the Fifth Question: Why is food 
that’s kosher-for-Pesach quadruple its usual 
price? 

APPRECIATE YOUR APPLIANCES 
We all have limits. At some point, we’re 
just gonna say, “I’ve had enough,
” and plop 
down with Netflix and chocolate. Well, 
your poor overworked washing machine 
will absolutely do the same. That’s why 
there comes a time — usually in the week 
before Pesach — that it’ll start shaking 
and banging on the floor mid-cycle. Can’t 
blame the machine. I sometimes feel like 
doing that, too. So make sure your washer 
also gets the occasional break, but maybe 
without the Netflix and chocolate. 

FEEL THE SLAVERY
It’s great to come to the seder smelling 
faintly of bleach, with sore arm muscles 
and sporting bags under your eyes (which 
remind us of the bags that the Jews carried 
out of Egypt). Even though our modern-
day “slavery” experiences aren’t exactly like 
our forefathers ... Chances are they couldn’t 
have even dreamed of fridges, bathrooms, 
electricity, etc. ... Still, if you come to the 
seder feeling exhausted and bone-tired 
from cleaning, it can help you relate to the 
slavery part of the Pesach story. 

DON’T SWEAT THE MATZAH 
CRUMBS
Finally, your house is spotless; not a 
chametz crumb to be found; you know 
where everything is, down to that freshly 
sorted container of pens. (Who knew 
you had so many pens? And why do they 
seem to congregate under the couch?) 
Right before Pesach, I always say, “This is 
so nice; I’m gonna keep everything this 
clean.” 
That well-meaning inspiration usually 
lasts about, oh, two hours. At the seder, 
we break out the matzah ... which is 
impossible to eat without getting zillions of 
crumbs all over the table and floor ... And 
that’s when the mess starts to slowly creep 
back. 
Just take a deep breath, remind yourself 
to enjoy the moment and don’t sweat the 
matzah crumbs. 

Rochel 
Burstyn 
Contributing 
Writer

HOME&GARDEN

Don’t Sweat the
 Matzah Crumbs 

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