F

riday nights for Nicole 
Koppel growing up 
meant lighting candles, 
singing “Shalom Aleichem,” 
making the traditional bless-
ings, homemade challah and 
a full meal. Today, Koppel, 
who lives with her partner, 
TJ McKenzie, and her son, 
Andy Kovenich, 8, has carried 
on the tradition of making 
Shabbat a time for the family 
to come together. 
Part of a busy household, 
she says she’s worked hard to 
make the focus on relaxing 
and having family time, as 
opposed to the stress around 
the meal and everyone sitting 
still for it. They try not to 
make plans on Friday nights, 
and instead spend the time 
reflecting on the week and 
talking about things that are 
important to them.
“I think that what’s unique 
about us is that I don’t try to 
force us into Shabbat. I try to 
make Shabbat work for us,” 
she says. “The point is the 
deep breath at the end of the 
week; that’s Shabbat for me.” 
It’s a lesson she says she hopes 
her son, Andy, takes to heart. 
Whether it’s over a dinner 
of roast chicken, brisket or 
even pizza on paper plates, it’s 
a time for them to reconnect, 
she says. “The important 
thing to us is that we’re all 
together, and we’re all finally 

sitting and looking at each 
other and maybe don’t have a 
laptop in front of our face.” 
While some families are 
very traditional and likely 
keep Shabbat in a very tradi-
tional way, others don’t neces-
sarily bring Shabbat into their 
homes; her family has picked 
a middle ground that works 
for them, she explains. 
“We do Friday nights, and 
definitely my son’s favorite 
thing is that we are all home 
together; we are not distract-
ed,” she says, adding that 
her son has familiarity with 
Shabbat from his time at the 
Kids All Together (KAT) 
program at JCC Day Camp 
as well. 
“He’s coming home and 
telling me Hebrew words 
they’re learning. That defi-
nitely influenced us as well, 
in that he’s getting a little 
bit more culturally Jewish 
through that program.”
With a new baby on the 
way as well, Koppel says she’s 
looking forward to continuing 
their family’s tradition of hav-
ing family time on Shabbat. 
She might also get back into 
challah baking, says Koppel, 
who started during the pan-
demic but has tapered off the 
practice for now during her 
pregnancy. 
“I loved it, and it helped 
me feel more centered. It has 

helped me feel connected to 
Shabbat during that time,” she 
says. 
As for a memorable 
Shabbat, she recalls a week 
when they lit candles at the 
table and then they were all 
so exhausted, they moved 
their spaghetti and meatball 

meal to the couch. “We can 
finally relax, and nobody 
cares that we’re eating pasta 
on the couch. It’s emblem-
atic of that deep breath,” she 
says. “It’s just the three of us 
and our animals, and we are 
just hanging out and being 
together.” 

Shabbat means a time for family 
to reconnect in this household.

A Deep Breath 
at the End of 
the Week

KAREN SCHWARTZ CONTRIBUTING WRITER

OUR COMMUNITY
CELEBRATING SHABBAT

20 | MARCH 7 • 2024 
J
N

TJ McKenzie, Nicole Koppel and her son, Andy Kovenich

